Do you ever feel like you have no idea what’s going on in a woman’s head? Like you’re playing an endless guessing game and hoping that somehow you’re getting somewhere? That you’re not entirely sure how she feels about you? Well, the truth is, women DO internalize things slightly differently from men, but men don’t have to be from Mars and women from Venus. It’s much easier for us to understand one another if we just make things less complicated by communicating out in the open. You don’t necessarily need to be Mel Gibson in What Women Want and be able to hear the inner thoughts of all women in order to understand them.

That’s why I want to help reveal more about the truth behind the way we think so that you can feel like you’re not always in the dark when it comes to women and that, in fact, we are not labyrinths. If men and women can understand each other better and find out more about the truth behind the way we think, just imagine the possibilities.

Understanding women. 4 things they don’t want you to know!

understanding women1. We share details with our friends.

Women are very emotional and we tell EVERYTHING to our friends. We go into details, touch, smell. We might even send your picture to them before even going on a date and meeting you in person. Sometimes we even screenshot text conversations and share them with our friends for advice. This means if you meet her friends, they’ll already know everything about you and about how she feels about you. So it’s always a good idea to befriend her friends.

2. We secretly hope that you have some game.

This is not to say that we want a player, but we ARE secretly hoping that you have some moves, some ways to charm us or make us smile so that it’s easier for us. What you can take away from this is that we WANT you to succeed — we’re actually hoping that you knock us off our socks and make us think and look into our eyes seeking an actual connection. We’re on your side here.

understadning women3. We want you to think we’re unicorns.

This may sound totally ridiculous, but we literally don’t want you to think we use the restroom. We want you to think that everything that comes out is cotton candy and flowers and that we sweat sugar. We want to be seen as really girly, and we get embarrassed when those private things are revealed. So if you see us hiding things that are actually totally human, that’s probably why.

4. She decided when…

If you think a woman hasn’t predetermined when she’s ready to have sex with you, you’re very much mistaken. Women decide way before you decide. We start way before the date has even started when we choose our lingerie. This means we want it just as much as you do: you’ve just gotta make us feel safe, have an emotional connection with us, be not too needy, show us you’re confident — and you’re in.

What women think: 3 things women are actually thinking about on the date.

When you’re on the first date, here are some secrets that women think about that you may not entirely know.

understanding women1. We are way more worried about our body image than we’re letting on.

Even when you’re going on a date with a woman that you find intimidatingly attractive, she’s still extremely concerned with her body image. Women are competitive by nature. We live in a world of social media and constant comparison, where women are airbrushed left and right. We just want you to find us attractive, no matter how beautiful we may appear to you.

2. We’ve stalked your social media account.

Maybe you don’t know this, but even before you’ve gone on a date with her she’ll know a lot more about you than you think. She’ll have looked at your social account, googled you, tried to see what your vibe is. Even if you think she doesn’t have a social media account, it doesn’t matter. The point is that she’ll have done her research.

understanding women3. We spend hours getting ready and sometimes buy a new outfit.

It might be a surprise to you, but we spend sometimes an hour getting ready before a first date: perfecting our makeup, making sure our outfit is just right. Sometimes we’ll even buy a whole new outfit for a date just to feel more confident. We sometimes even talk about it with our friends — what top to wear, whether or not we look too dressed up or too dressed down, sexy enough or too sexy. And that’s because we get nervous, too, especially if we’re somewhat invested and we like you already.

What women want in a man. Highly Attractive Qualities Women CRAVE!

understanding womenSo what is it that women are looking for in a man? Are there highly attractive qualities that every woman can say that they crave?

The answer is yes, and if you’ve been reading some of the other blogs, you may see a common thread here. All women are looking for a man that loves himself fully and has that quiet sense of confidence inside. We’re actually not looking for men that can prove how masculine, strong, or heroic they are. We’re not looking for men that are suave players; we just want a man that can treat us as their equal, communicate with us clearly, treat us fairly, and make us feel loved.

Most women value looking for a man with a strong moral compass, someone who we can innately trust and who is able to take responsibility for their behavior. This means that having emotional intelligence is important — being able to be aware of how you express yourself, where you want to improve in your own communication of your emotions and feelings. I think women are not as discouraged for opening expressing their emotions as men are in society, and that’s a major problem. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to learn how to navigate your own self-awareness with regards to how you express yourself with her.

understanding womenSensitivity is also a quality that’s extremely important. Women desire men that are kind, patient, compassionate, understanding, and empathetic — just as men desire women that are the same. We all want emotional support and we all want our life experiences and thoughts to feel validated in some way without feeling harshly judged.

At the end of the day, we want to be with men that respect us, that want to see us succeed and can acknowledge our strengths. Women want the same things that men do, but sometimes we might prioritize these qualities in a slightly different way or in a different order.

What women want in a relationship. How to tell if she’s relationship ready!

understanding womenIt’s not always easy to tell when a woman is ready for a relationship. She may be sending you mixed signals or she maybe not in the right headspace in her life to be in a serious relationship. Those factors could have nothing to do with you or how much she likes you. How can you tell if she’s relationship-ready, then?

The easiest way is to just communicate openly. You have really nothing to lose here. If you’ve established enough of a rapport with her to communicate comfortably face to face, then you shouldn’t feel afraid to ask her where she’s at with her feelings and to express your feelings as well. It doesn’t have to be in an intense way – you can say: “I really like you and I want to see where this goes more seriously, what are you feeling?” Communicating openly like this is essential for a healthy relationship. It may sound way easier said than done, but it’s also a much easier way to gauge what’s going on in her head without trying to play an endless guessing game of cat and mouse. And I promise you — she will appreciate your emotional maturity.

understanding womenChances are if she’s generally unresponsive to you or inconsistent with her communication, then she may be hesitant to take it to the next level. There may be things in her life that are preoccupying her or she may really care about you deeply, but not have an open heart because of unhealed trauma or previous relationships. That being said, it’s still better to ask her openly. Try to avoid going into thoughts of jealousy or insecurity — that is all unnecessary if you just communicate early on about what your feelings are and where she’s at.

Remember, you are always loved.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti