How to Understand Women. The Truth Behind the Way They Think!

Do you ever feel like you have no idea what’s going on in a woman’s head? Like you’re playing an endless guessing game and hoping that somehow you’re getting somewhere? That you’re not entirely sure how she feels about you? Well, the truth is, women DO internalize things slightly differently from men, but men don’t have to be from Mars and women from Venus. It’s much easier for us to understand one another if we just make things less complicated by communicating out in the open. You don’t necessarily need to be Mel Gibson in What Women Want and be able to hear the inner thoughts of all women in order to understand them.

That’s why I want to help reveal more about the truth behind the way we think so that you can feel like you’re not always in the dark when it comes to women and that, in fact, we are not labyrinths. If men and women can understand each other better and find out more about the truth behind the way we think, just imagine the possibilities.

Understanding women. 4 things they don’t want you to know!

1. We share details with our friends.

Women are very emotional and we tell EVERYTHING to our friends. We go into details, touch, smell. We might even send your picture to them before even going on a date and meeting you in person. Sometimes we even screenshot text conversations and share them with our friends for advice. This means if you meet her friends, they’ll already know everything about you and about how she feels about you. So it’s always a good idea to befriend her friends.

2. We secretly hope that you have some game.

This is not to say that we want a player, but we ARE secretly hoping that you have some moves, some ways to charm us or make us smile so that it’s easier for us. What you can take away from this is that we WANT you to succeed — we’re actually hoping that you knock us off our socks and make us think and look into our eyes seeking an actual connection. We’re on your side here.

3. We want you to think we’re unicorns.

This may sound totally ridiculous, but we literally don’t want you to think we use the restroom. We want you to think that everything that comes out is cotton candy and flowers and that we sweat sugar. We want to be seen as really girly, and we get embarrassed when those private things are revealed. So if you see us hiding things that are actually totally human, that’s probably why.

4. She decided when…

If you think a woman hasn’t predetermined when she’s ready to have sex with you, you’re very much mistaken. Women decide way before you decide. We start way before the date has even started when we choose our lingerie. This means we want it just as much as you do: you’ve just gotta make us feel safe, have an emotional connection with us, be not too needy, show us you’re confident — and you’re in.

What women think: 3 things women are actually thinking about on the date.

When you’re on the first date, here are some secrets that women think about that you may not entirely know.

1. We are way more worried about our body image than we’re letting on.

Even when you’re going on a date with a woman that you find intimidatingly attractive, she’s still extremely concerned with her body image. Women are competitive by nature. We live in a world of social media and constant comparison, where women are airbrushed left and right. We just want you to find us attractive, no matter how beautiful we may appear to you.

2. We’ve stalked your social media account.

Maybe you don’t know this, but even before you’ve gone on a date with her she’ll know a lot more about you than you think. She’ll have looked at your social account, googled you, tried to see what your vibe is. Even if you think she doesn’t have a social media account, it doesn’t matter. The point is that she’ll have done her research.

3. We spend hours getting ready and sometimes buy a new outfit.

It might be a surprise to you, but we spend sometimes an hour getting ready before a first date: perfecting our makeup, making sure our outfit is just right. Sometimes we’ll even buy a whole new outfit for a date just to feel more confident. We sometimes even talk about it with our friends — what top to wear, whether or not we look too dressed up or too dressed down, sexy enough or too sexy. And that’s because we get nervous, too, especially if we’re somewhat invested and we like you already.

What women want in a man. Highly Attractive Qualities Women CRAVE!

So what is it that women are looking for in a man? Are there highly attractive qualities that every woman can say that they crave?

The answer is yes, and if you’ve been reading some of the other blogs, you may see a common thread here. All women are looking for a man that loves himself fully and has that quiet sense of confidence inside. We’re actually not looking for men that can prove how masculine, strong, or heroic they are. We’re not looking for men that are suave players; we just want a man that can treat us as their equal, communicate with us clearly, treat us fairly, and make us feel loved.

Most women value looking for a man with a strong moral compass, someone who we can innately trust and who is able to take responsibility for their behavior. This means that having emotional intelligence is important — being able to be aware of how you express yourself, where you want to improve in your own communication of your emotions and feelings. I think women are not as discouraged for opening expressing their emotions as men are in society, and that’s a major problem. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to learn how to navigate your own self-awareness with regards to how you express yourself with her.

Sensitivity is also a quality that’s extremely important. Women desire men that are kind, patient, compassionate, understanding, and empathetic — just as men desire women that are the same. We all want emotional support and we all want our life experiences and thoughts to feel validated in some way without feeling harshly judged.

At the end of the day, we want to be with men that respect us, that want to see us succeed and can acknowledge our strengths. Women want the same things that men do, but sometimes we might prioritize these qualities in a slightly different way or in a different order.

What women want in a relationship. How to tell if she’s relationship ready!

It’s not always easy to tell when a woman is ready for a relationship. She may be sending you mixed signals or she maybe not in the right headspace in her life to be in a serious relationship. Those factors could have nothing to do with you or how much she likes you. How can you tell if she’s relationship-ready, then?

The easiest way is to just communicate openly. You have really nothing to lose here. If you’ve established enough of a rapport with her to communicate comfortably face to face, then you shouldn’t feel afraid to ask her where she’s at with her feelings and to express your feelings as well. It doesn’t have to be in an intense way – you can say: “I really like you and I want to see where this goes more seriously, what are you feeling?” Communicating openly like this is essential for a healthy relationship. It may sound way easier said than done, but it’s also a much easier way to gauge what’s going on in her head without trying to play an endless guessing game of cat and mouse. And I promise you — she will appreciate your emotional maturity.

Chances are if she’s generally unresponsive to you or inconsistent with her communication, then she may be hesitant to take it to the next level. There may be things in her life that are preoccupying her or she may really care about you deeply, but not have an open heart because of unhealed trauma or previous relationships. That being said, it’s still better to ask her openly. Try to avoid going into thoughts of jealousy or insecurity — that is all unnecessary if you just communicate early on about what your feelings are and where she’s at.

Remember, you are always loved.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti

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  1. I am in love with my sister inlaw , my wife’s younger sister . She’s married and having kids . I feel the feeling is mutual . But she is unpredictable . Sometimes she makes me feel she likes me , and sometimes I feel ignorant , it’s mostly on social media . But whenever we meet , she tries to hangout with us together , but without her husband . She prioritizes most of the time . She laughs on my jokes , no matter how funny they are . I also know that she talks to her son good things about me . I usyally tey helping her financialy and in other things . Nowadays I am trying to ignore her and manifesting her , tryi g detach from her to make her more attracted to me , since sometimes , like I said I feel ignored on social media . Please guide me what to do . I really am in love with her

    1. Hi Saqib! Thank you for reading “How to Understand Women. The Truth Behind the Way They Think!” If you’re interested in some individual guidance, please book a private session through the link below as Apollonia would need to make time in her schedule to gather more details from your; 
      The link will provide information on the different styles and rates for coaching sessions with a step by step breakdown of what to expect.
      Best of luck and take care!

    1. Hi there! Thank you for reading “How to Understand Women. The Truth Behind the Way They Think!” and for your kind words. We appreciate your support!

  2. I understand women well enough to know that it’s not worth approaching them because I’m not attractive enough to get their attention. I can talk to women easily and have women friends, but I’m not someone any woman would ever be romantically or sexually interested in. I’m very interested in women, but since no woman could see me as a potential partner, I make sure never to express my interest – why would I bother to do so when failure is guaranteed? People can say things about ‘negative self talk’, ‘confidence’, ‘game’, etc., but the fact is, I have no chance with any woman, so there is no point in trying.

    1. Hello Jon! Thank you for reading “How to Understand Women. The Truth Behind the Way They Think!”. I hope you know that there is no guarantee of failure. Our frequency rules what we attract. If you have the time, check out Apollonia’s youtube channel or consider some individualized guidance with one of our coaches.Here’s the link to book a private session as Apollonia would need more details and to make time in her schedule; 
      The link will provide information on the different styles and rates for coaching sessions with a step by step breakdown of what to expect.

      Best of luck and take care! 
      -Katy – Apollonia’s Assistant

  3. I know you have a business to run. But deleting my comments TWICE here shows you have no tolerance for any dissenting opinion. This confirms the prior comment “we’re on your side here” cannot be further from the truth. Obviously, YOU’RE NOT. No matter how you try to sugarcoat this…or delete contrarian comments…the fact remains that relations between the sexes are at an all time low now.

    1. Hi Mickey,
      Wow, sorry you have so much anger towards this. I welcome your opinion but things might get flagged for spam from time to time depending on if there are curse words and other things. Apollonia and team try to keep up and write back to every comment. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for stopping by and reading this blog.

  4. Hi Katy – to be honest, I see no possibility of success and so take it that failure is a given. It’s common to read online that most connections are [in fact] initiated by women – who send signals to guys they’re interested in. Also common is the idea that guys who are ‘successful’ with women tend to show interest in women who are interested in them (i.e., who give them signs of interest). I am astute at reading body language and I can say with a high degree of certainty that no woman has ever shown me signs that she is interested in me. This is why I say that I have no chance with any woman.

  5. 3. We want you to think we’re unicorns.

    That is true. But, another truth is that I have to clean women’s bathrooms at my last job (Williamsburg Premium Outlets mall in Williamsburg, Virginia). It was unpleasant and uneasy to do. Women are honestly no different from men are.

    But, women are probably easier to connect and express your emotions than men are.

    1. Hi Ernest,
      Thanks for your comment. I like that you pointed out the unicorn thing. 🙂 Meant to have a little humor in all of this.
      Wishing you the best!

  6. If you are waiting for a man to do something, but don’t show any interest in him yourself, why would he do something?
    Just talking with someone, or having coffee after a college class doesn’t mean anything. It’s killing time between classes, or hanging out with a classmate before going off to work.
    I used to work at a hospital as a janitor. I saw many women. We talk, say hi, whatever, but why would I think you want to go out with me? And, more importantly, why would you think I want to go out with you.
    Having a conversation with smart woman is great, and what I like. I might learn something new, but that doesn’t mean your the type of woman I want to go out with.
    If we are talking about adults over 40, both the man and woman can see, hear, and speak, and know something. Playing coy at that age might just lead to some lonely nights.

  7. Hi Apollonia,

    I & this girl matched on an app around 5 months ago, we live about 4 hours apart from each other (different ends of the country) but we texted on WhatsApp for around 4 months just asking questions about each other ect then use Snapchat mainly now.

    Our situation is very unique because first of all, we’re both religious & interested in becoming partners for marriage later on, But we can’t or haven’t met each other yet due to the covid restrictions, which is difficult, to be honest.

    The issue I have is that we snap every day or a day off sometimes, she has complimented me a few times & described me as her “type in men” but she is quite shy to call or video chat I just feel that as a man I have to take control & move things forward to at least call but she never seems interested in calling at all if she agrees to she won’t answer, even though I know she is interested in me for my traits & ambitions but I feel that she’ll get bored eventually if all we do is snap.

    Let’s hope this covid goes away hahaha!
    Thanks, Apollonia.
    all the best!

    1. Hi Asim,

      Thank you for reading the blog How to understand women. We truly appreciate your views and support!

      Best- Team AP

  8. Hi Katy – thank you for your response. For me, failure is guaranteed because I am not attractive enough to spark any woman’s sexual interest – I’d be deluding myself to think otherwise. I have women friends who seek out and enjoy my company, but it’s always been very clear that no woman could ever be romantically or sexually interested in me. Since I would never pay for intimacy, there is no way I will never experience it.

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