Is She Playing Me? Find Out The TRUTH Here!

It’s absolutely horrifying to like someone and then wonder if they are playing games with you because of their inconsistent behavior or their hot and cold attitude towards you. Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment, relationships and dating can be very confusing especially when you really like someone. I know what it’s like to really want to date someone and wanting to make sure we were both on the same page. I’ve been there before, but no matter what I did the person was always toying with my emotions!  This was downright confusing. Am I right?!

You may also find yourself in a situation similar to my past experience or you may just want to make sure everything is going great with your partner and you are trying to be extra cautious because you don’t want to get hurt again and I completely understand! That’s why In this blog, I’m going to give you the exact guidance you need in order to get the clarity you’re looking for to determine if your girl is playing games with you and your emotions.

Do you have any questions after reading this blog? Feel free to comment below so we can personally respond! 

Am I Getting Played?

Today, we’re going to talk about the top two reasons why she’s playing with your emotions and how to uncover if you are getting played and what that means. Now, one of the things that come to mind when a man is questioning if a woman is playing with your emotions are two things, and I want you to identify which one it might be for you in your particular case.

#1 You’ve given a lot to her.  You were in the prove mentality.

 I have to prove that I am the right guy for her…. That I am the right fit. And you overcompensate and you over-deliver and you over-pursue and you basically persuade her to chart to be with you. And you’re coming from a world of convincing. And the mindset you’re coming from is scarcity and a lack mindset in order to get this woman, I will be better, right? What you need to do is stop trying to prove yourself to her.

#2 She is playing with your emotions:  Why? Because she may not know who she is yet or what she wants out of life.

She might be going through something difficult in her life. She might be feeling like she’s really taken some steps back in her life, or she might be suffering from an addiction. She might be suffering from another past, possibly something that is going on with her ex-boyfriend or her ex-husband. You can start getting wrapped up in the emotional involvement and the emotional rollercoaster. Remember this has nothing to do with you!

She is Playing With You If She Does This!

When a woman continues to go back and forth with her words and shows the opposite with actions then you have to be very careful. I have experienced men making excuses for women because they are so elated by how bad they want to be with this one girl. She may be unavailable and that chase can turn someone on. When you look back at the reason why you are chasing a girl sometimes you don’t even know why and it’s a pure adrenaline rush.

You are being played if you are experiencing the following:

#1 She Won’t Break Up With Her Current Boyfriend: But she strings you along with the I don’t want to break up with him if you won’t be with me. Or, I’m not sure what I want. This is a BIG red flag and this shows a lack of security within herself and you won’t start a relationship based on trust.

#2 She cancels last minute always: she does not appreciate your time and then plays victim to what is going on in her life so she does not feel bad about all the times that she has stood you up.

#3 You only hear from her when she wants something: she has a tendency to creep back up when she wants something from you or wants attention from you. She may invite you from time to time to events or dinners but this simply means she wants you to pay or possibly make another guy jealous. 🙂

#4 She always is asking for you to buy things or wants you to help her with things she cannot afford but blames not being in a relationship with you because she is not ready. She plays the victim role well here and sometimes she is not even intimate with you as far as hand-holding or kissing for that matter.

What Does Being Played Mean To You?

The two answers I explained before will give you an idea of why a woman would play you, but moving forward it’s important to understand how to not allow these patterns to enter your life from a woman ever again! 

Typically, when clients come to me and they are challenged and are taken back by if a woman is taking them for granted it’s because there are one or two of these different scenarios that are going on. 

So, I  want you to be clear in regards to why women would be doing this and where you also control the line.

Now, understand in life we are accountable for our own actions, right? So we admitted this. We enabled her to be able to play with our emotions because if you are letting someone get this rise from you or get this self-involved in the activities with her, or get more involved in her life and trying to fix something or trying to make something work, then, of course, this is a woman that’s playing with your emotions. But who’s to blame here? Is it her? Possibly not, because you’re letting her do this!

How To Stop Being Played!

If you find yourself asking yourself, “Is this woman I’m seeing playing with my emotions?”

The answer is a typical yes. Now, there are times where you can be in a dating scenario and a woman’s not calling you back. She’s saying she likes you, but then she doesn’t show any affection towards you and you’re like, “Is she playing with my emotions?” Well, in this case, she is just inconsistent and she’s probably not ready.  The number one key takeaway here guys in regards to a woman playing with your emotions is understanding that you are capable of giving your emotions to the right person.

When we start to give our emotions to the wrong person, it’s because we’re not doing the work, because we’re not setting the tone, because we don’t know our standards, because we don’t have boundaries, right? And so we underhandedly try to prove to a woman that we’re the right guy, or we underhandedly try to fix the situations, try to resolve her issues, but yet we haven’t resolved what we needed to resolve inside, which is self-love, which is why are we giving yourself to someone who won’t appreciate us? Right? That’s the question.

I Got Played! What Do I Do Next?

There’s so much advice out there that’s like, “Oh, she’s playing with your emotions if she doesn’t call back.” Look guys, it’s literally just surface-level stuff. This is real shit guys! And I’m telling you this because I don’t want this to happen to you anymore. I want you to be in a vibrant relationship. I want you to be in a happy relationship. I want you to conquer women, get whatever it is that you want, and be the healthiest person that you can be.

Now, if a woman is taking a step back and says, maybe you’re a little bit too much or too… she doesn’t want the same things you. If she says something along the lines of, “we’re going too fast”, this is not playing with your emotions. This is being upfront. This is being very deliverable in her communication with you and that’s a sign of something you may need to work on with yourself in order to pull back as well.  I’m not saying that you’re always the one to blame here, but the only thing is we are in control of our actions and how we enable other people.

If the question “Is She Playing with My Emotions?” has crossed your mind before, and if you find yourself in scenario number one or number two that I explained above, I challenge you this week to really dig deep within yourself and figure out if you’re putting yourself first. Are you? Let me know by commenting on this blog below!

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

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  1. Hi Apollonia! Yes, love what you said here!! Mostly for me, all of this does seem like all games when dating, why must these games happen at all? Why can’t women just be straight up IF they want a guy and then to enjoy doing things together and live life!?? Its not about the bedroom etc issues but being committed and such to ONLY each other!!! I’m old(51 now!) and just want a solid relationship with someone… At times, it seems so complicated!!! Running out of hope…really!!!

    Thank you for all you do!! Love you and be well!

    1. Yes, it can seem like that. Through following me I help men pick better women and also shape the way they think about relationships so they can really pursue a woman who is better for them.


  2. Hi Apollonnia, I live in Trinidad & Tobago, West Indies. I started watching your videos, a few months ago. Just wanted to say “Thank You” for all your “Wisdom” and “Advice” that you give from a “Woman’s” point of view on Dating and Relationships. I recently got back in the ” Dating Game” and It’s helped me become more aware, of myself as one with the “Nice Guy” Syndrome, which I’m working on, as I told my girlfriend “Goodbye” a few days ago, as I saw too many “Red Flags” and Inconsistencies. Thanks again for “Encouraging” and “Uplifting” men to look for qualities that go beyond “Beauty” and to take their “Rightful” place in a Relationship!

  3. yeah i have experienced all these things exactly like you said from the girl i really liked and known from my childhood. Later i have come know that she was seeing someone else while we started dating which she never mentioned. She played with my emotions and used to ask for money and help always. Later she completely broke my heart and left me. I felt betrayed and couldn’t recover from my bitterness for about a year.

  4. I have read and completely understood everything.
    That said, I think I’m being played. My instinct and intuition tells me so as well. My girlfriend never texts, rarely calls. Rarely explains herself to me and rarely gives feedback or calls back when she says she will. It’s always me communicating first. I’m now starting to feel like I’m trying too hard to keep things together. She only makes an effort to reach out when she needs something and rarely expresses her feelings about me despite her accepting my proposal. We are two months in now going into three, it’s starting to take a toll on me and my patience, energy and understanding are slowly running down. I have literally been there for her, supported her and met some needs within my reach but the effort on her side has left me questioning her commitment towards this relationship.
    I told her I greatly appreciate requitted effort. She promised to create time for me but there hasn’t been a sign of that happening.
    Should I give her more time or I call it quits? I’m a person of little patience so I maybe biased in my decision making. I know the writing is on the wall but somehow I still have some hope of things working out. It’s the hope that rewards one and it’s the hope that kills one. In short, I’m confused right now.
    You feedback will highly be appreciated.
    Kind regards.

  5. Hello,
    I think it maybe too late to save my relationship with a girl I met…
    We dated once and I waited 20 plus days for it and she was 30 minutes late.. Then we made a second date and then she canceled because of her daughters problems…for almost a month I tried to reschedule and everything fell apart…I think she was playing me and taking advantage of my good nature and disrespectfull of my time! She is going through a tough time and she told me she didn’t have time for a relationship and she knew that her daughter was a problem…I may have said some things I shouldn’t have and I apologized for it…
    It is hard to move on because of Synchoronicities that I have seen and there are 6 of them..

  6. I would never pursue any woman no matter what. Thinking that any woman would notice me is pure fantasy. Several women friends have told me that I could easily get a date and have a relationship with any woman I want if I would just show a bit of interest. Since I never get signs of interest from any woman, I’m not about to hint I like any woman in a sexual way. In our society, miscommunication in these things is always the man’s fault (in the court of public opinion) irrespective of what actually happens, and I’m not about to literally risk everything for one date.

  7. I’ve been dating a girl who is 10 years younger. After reading your article I understand that bitch is really playing me and wants only my money.

    Should I play with this bitch now or just find another girl for relationship?

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