How To Write A Letter To Your Wife | 5 Tips To Marriage Recovery

When things begin to feel tense and confusing in a marriage, it can become very challenging to properly express yourself and tell your wife what is in your heart and on your mind. It’s not uncommon for people to begin to feel like they’re speaking different languages and cannot get back on the same page. The result is that they begin to drift away from one another, and the threat of separation begins to loom overhead. Another possibility is that the separation has already taken place, and though the desire to be together again is there, it feels like it’s close to impossible to find the right words…
So if you’re thinking, “how to write a letter to your wife” I want you to know that if you write it correctly, it most certainly will help! This is a technique that is widely used and it has yielded spectacular results for my coaches.

In this article, I am going to explain how to write a letter to your wife that will truly express what you’re trying to say in the best way possible. Rest assured that you have a very powerful tool at your fingertips that can bring you impressive results!

Why is a letter to my wife a good idea?

There are many reasons why a letter to your wife is extremely helpful when things have started to feel off. The longer the period of tensions lasts, the harder it may feel to really get your point across and express yourself.
When you begin to feel a disconnect between you and your spouse, you can develop a sort of mental block. You may become so fixated on how tense and uncomfortable that you feel, that you hear the words coming out wrong. Similarly, both of you might be so frustrated that each conversation just turns into a fight within a matter of minutes and you feel like you’re not getting anywhere.
You go around in circles and all that happens is that you drift further and further apart.
So why would a letter help your situation?
Well, if you follow the guidelines I’m about to share with you and write a letter that truly expresses what you’re feeling and how you’d like the future to be, you will be able to clearly communicate your points in a way that is honest and constructive, and your partner can read it at her own ease without interruption.
In conversation, and especially when things are feeling shaky, two partners might try to “win” and cut each other off with rebuttals. It begins to feel impossible to get anywhere and instead of hearing each other out and working as a team to find long term solutions, they’re left feeling even more upset than they were before the conversation. It becomes a negative spiral.
Even though you try to talk about it, it ends up making you feel worse and even more upset.
If you’re still together, love letters to your wife can show her what you feel deep down, and help to progressively rekindle the flame. If you’ve already separated, a letter to your ex-wife can clearly express what you’re feeling as well as the solutions you’ve come up with in terms of restoring the relationship… but more on that in a moment.
Now in order to write a successful letter to your wife, there are certain rules you’re going to have to follow. The next sections of this article will outline how to write letters to your wife if you’re trying to defuse tensions in your relationship and how to write a letter to an ex-wife that you would like to be with again.
I want to stress that regardless of the situation, when you’re thinking about a letter to my wife, please note that this letter needs to contain solutions for the issues you are both encounterings.
Loving words and reminders of your love for her are important, yes, but if you want to present her with something that is going to make a real difference in the state of things, you’ll have to go a bit further.

5 Tips For A Perfect Love Letter To Your Wife

I’ve outlined the importance of writing a letter to your wife and how this can help you initiate contact but also communicate more effectively if you want to be heard and work things out eventually. The biggest thing piece of advice that I can give you before you read these tips is to take your time. A lot of my clients that have enhanced and saved their marriages have been able to master this because they were patient with the process and knew that they could not rush the required work that needed to happen in order to fall in love again or fix anything that they were going through that brought them to this point. So, the same thing should go for the letter.

Tip #1 Start With A Compliment

Letters should not always be about you. They should showcase how your partner brings value to your life beyond the superficial things. How does your partner impact you and what are their best qualities? Start with something like this as it will get your partner to engage and possibly see another side of you if this is not something that your use to doing.

Tip #2 Take your time

Alot of times couples write everything on a letter, and it can be five pages long because they haven’t taken the time to break, relax, and let time pass so they can get their thoughts together. When this happens, you can mess up the process of the letter to make sure you are acting calm and collectively before writing the letter and sending it.

Tip #3 Talk about the underlining issues

Do not write out how much you’ve changed, how you love her, and how you want her back. Do not beg and plead. It’s not time to write about what you have discovered that was not working for both of you. You can talk about the transitions that you’ve encountered from this time to reflect and also give problem-solving dialogue. Take action and accountability with what you choose to do moving forward.

Tip #4 It’s not about “I love you”

Yes, I get it! Of course, you love your partner or else you wouldn’t be here, but this is not what’s needed in this letter. This is not a Romeo and Juliet poem convincing her to come back with words. If this is what you’ve done before it’s time to show her through taking a new approach by following the tips here but also not try and convince her that you love her. Change is what’s effective.

Tip #5 End it will a CTA

: A call to action means that you are taking action into something, for her to contact you when she is ready, to write another letter back, or to possibly meet up for coffee so you can have an open discussion about what was written in this letter.
Remember, the letter will not mean anything if you do not showcase the actions behind your words.

Love letters to my wife when things are feeling rocky in the relationship

As I was saying, when things have become so tense in the relationship that you feel like you’re constantly feeling uneasy or irritable and your stomach is in knots, it’s very hard to calmly express what needs to be said and present solutions.
If you haven’t separated, it’s going to be easier to give this letter to your wife and she will be less likely to be resistant to receiving and reading it. You’re still a team and I’m sure you both know that you need to work together in order to bounce back from these trying times.
All relationships encounter ups and downs, and please don’t panic because you’re experiencing tough times. More often than not, when a couple goes through this type of thing and comes through on the other side, their relationship becomes stronger than ever.
Why? Because they were faced with the fear of losing each other, they realize how much they’re willing to work together to make things right again, their bond becomes stronger, and they will have overcome an obstacle as a team.
So, when you’re thinking, “I’d like to write a love letter for my wife so that we can bounce back from this rough patch,” keep in mind that the most important thing will be to provide her with solutions.
This means that you’re going to have to take the time to reflect on what exactly is going on here.
What is the root of the issue or issues that you are facing? Is it related to communication? Not enough quality time spent together? Financial stressors? Differing goals for the future? Family-related disagreements?
Do you still feel close to one another or do you pass like two ships in the night? How about intimacy?
Really think about where the issues are stemming from, and begin to come up with tangible, long term solutions. I am here to help so please don’t hesitate to reach out to me personally if you would like one-on-one guidance.
When you’re writing a letter to the woman you love I would suggest opening it with a section that talks about your feelings for your wife. Tell her about what you love and appreciate about her, and how she makes your life better. Don’t go on for pages and pages because the goal isn’t to write her a novel. Ideally, try to stick to a page or two.
Next, begin to talk about how you’ve recognized that things have been feeling tense and your behavior has more than likely changed. This is when you can begin to go over what issues you have recognized and what solutions you are proposing.
This makes the letter very constructive, and it shows your wife that you are not giving up, that you are able to analyze the situation and define what exactly is happening while proposing realistic and long term solutions.
By the way, writing this letter by hand is going to get you bonus points. It is so rare to see people to take the time to sit down and actually write something by hand, and your significant other will undoubtedly appreciate the gesture.

Love letter to my wife!

If you’ve already separated and you are thinking “I would like to write a love letter to my wife because I want to improve my relationship” you’re definitely on the right track.
In fact, the handwritten letter for your wife is one of the most widely used and most successful techniques to make her happy.
When two people love each other, there are so many emotions, and there is so much going on that it might even feel impossible to talk to each other in a constructive manner.
And yet you love her and you miss her, and you have so much that you want to say to her.
When a person receives a letter, they can’t interrupt the author or interject responses. They can read it from beginning to end and really digest what they’ve just read. This is why it’s such a great tool for you-you can present your emotions.
Use this letter to briefly remind your wife of how much you love her and how much joy she brings to your life despite everything that has happened.
As I said, I’m always here to help so don’t hesitate to reach out!
Wishing you all the best in life and in love,
Your love and relationship coach for knowing how to write the best letter to your wife,

Your Coach,


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  1. Apollonia,

    What’s up? Your always there and on point! Number one, we share a common belief. “People value something more when they feel they actually earned it!” Number two, here me out. “I respect your work because you understand what’s required to keep a relationship ALIVE!”

    Case in point. My partner knows how I reached out to you on a personal and professional level. I feel she doesn’t want to acknowledge how your service has benefited the both of us. Yah, we are talking more and the intimacy has improved. I don’t feel I’m ready to use my 30 minute (email or phone} session just yet. Apollonia, love is AWESOME!

    *** It really doesn’t dissipates, it just chances form. ***

    Have a good week.

    1. Hi Louis,
      Thanks for reading my blog about how to write a letter to your wife. I am happy you enjoy my reading and I am always happy to help! Thanks for your continued support.

  2. Hi Apollonia
    Tip # 5 CTA call to action . I am in the process of writing a letter but not sure I understand this a
    this part of the tip. Are you saying suggest to meet? Or ask her to contact you if she like to meet.

    1. Hi Kevin,
      Thanks for reading my blog about how to write a letter to your wife. It depends on what you think she would be more willing to do. Please feel free to write what you were thinking of writing and maybe I can help! 🙂

    2. I just moved out of my house to give my wife and I some space for about two month’s, can you recommend a good book I can read?

    1. Hi there! Thank you for reading “How To Write A Letter To Your Wife” In order to get advice pertaining to your situation, I would encourage you to book a coaching session with her so she can help. Here are the links with more information.

      Apollonia carefully crafted her products that address a multitude of subjects which you may find helpful as well:

      If finances are an issue, Apollonia provides free content and I know you can find information that will help. 🙂 and
      Take care and best of luck!

  3. Please can u link me with a lady of 30 to 35 ready for serious relationship that can lead to marriage. Am seriously in need of a life partner

    1. Hey Abbey,

      Thank you so much for reading How To Write A Letter to Your Wife | 5 Tips To Marriage Recovery.
      Although we are not a matchmaking service, we do offer 1 on 1 coaching that will guide you to attracting the right girl for you!
      You can book a one on one coaching session with one of our amazing coaching by heading to this link:

      We look forward to working with you Abbey!
      Team Apollonia

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