Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have

She's Playing Hard to GetWhy do women play hard to get when they actually like you? I, being a woman myself, am going to give you the truth about why women play hard to get when we actually like you. 

There’s a couple of reasons why I’ve been playing hard to get in the past and actually a lot of women that I know do the same thing. As a woman, it’s really important that I give you this real advice and really get you guys to understand why we might play hard to get from time to time.

Now, you might think, “Oh my goodness, these women are CRAZY for playing hard to get in the first place. Why can’t they just tell us their feelings and just be open with it?” Well, here’s the reason why…

A lot of times women play hard to get, because they’re also testing out why and who you are. So, why are you showing up in this specific way for them? And who are you?

Are you both Emotionally strong and physically strong? That is what you want to be.

I’m going to break it down for you in this blog post.

So if you’re going through this, you’re going to know EXACTLY why you’re dating a woman that is playing hard to get.

Is she playing hard to get or not interested?

Now, I don’t want you to think that, “Oh, if a woman’s not interested and she’s not investing and she’s not paying attention to me, she’s playing hard to get.” No, actually she just doesn’t like you or something else is going on.

Below are the 11 reasons she is playing hard to get with you:

Reason #1: One of the reasons why women will play hard to get is because she’s trying to test your strength physically and emotionally.

So, there’ll be two reasons why a woman plays hard to get when it comes to being physically and emotionally strong. So, the one reason is that, physically it’s more about, can he stand to be away from me from time to time? Does he have a sense of independence? What does he do if I don’t give him all of my energy, all of my time, all of my attention? Does it drive him crazy?

Reason #2: Emotionally, is he trying to be emotionally tied up in me? Is he always asking or seeking acceptance from me? Her actually pushing back a little bit and playing hard to get is also testing you physically and emotionally.

Reason #3: She knows it amplifies her chances of you liking her. Let’s be honest, guys, a lot of times, nine out of 10, we always want something we can’t have. So, there’s somewhat of a thrill of the chase.

Reason #4: Maybe she’s not as confident around you as well. And the reason why she’s pushing back is because she wants to feel good around you, but she’s not as confident yet to feel really comfortable in your presence. So, a lot of times she’s playing hard to get, but sometimes she’s not confident.

Reason #5: She really wants to see how invested you are. Now, I’m a really big advocate for people showing up 50-50 in relationships. So I’m not just saying, “Oh, she does nothing.” But what I’m saying here is, a lot of times, women play hard to get because they really want to see your potential and see if you’re really invested in the same things that you say you’re invested in.

Reason #6: She’s trying to figure out what type of guy you are. So, understand that even beautiful women get used, hello, I mean, this is human life. We all get used at one point or another, unfortunately. So, hopefully not a lot of times. But used for different things. Especially if she’s a beautiful woman, she’s probably come across men that just want her for her beauty or also have done her wrong in the past. Maybe she’s been cheated on. Just because she’s a beautiful woman does not mean that it’s easier for her to find men.

Reason #7: She has standards for herself. So, you might consider this hard to get, but she’s actually pacing herself through the process of dating you. So, I want you to ask you, if you find yourself seeing a woman that’s playing hard to get, how much more invested are you? How much more time does she take up in your mind? How much more do you want to actually show up a little bit more?

Reason #8: She’s physically playing hard to get. Now, this was one that is very common. I’ve actually been able to relate to this one as a woman that will play hard to get because she just doesn’t want you to think that she’s someone you can hook up with.

Reason #9: She might have this avoidant type of mentality when it comes to communication. And she can’t easily articulate how she feels about you. So, instead, she pulls back emotions, to you it seems like. So she pulls back and then that’s her playing hard to get. Because she’s not good with communication, she probably hangs out with you and things like that, but she’s just not talking to you as much in regards to how she feels about you. 

Reason #10: She’s testing you because she doesn’t want you to just give up on her. She really wants to see if this is something that you really want. Now, guys, I’m not wanting you to go all in for a woman that is probably giving you red flags, not paying any mind to you, not wanting the same things, isn’t physically or emotionally somewhat involved with you, holding your hands, kissing you, or at least telling you or showing up for dates or texting you saying, “How are you? I miss you. Blah, blah, blah.” Whatever you want to say.

Reason #11: She probably just got out of a very long relationship, where that man was extremely overbearing and also controlled her a lot. So, this is a way that she feels that she can have control in her life is when she dates other guys now she plays hard to get. So, that definitely comes down to a lot of healing on her part, but I would really, really watch out for that, because that’s a red flag.

Figure Out Why She’s Playing Hard to Get

Now, a lot of times, and overall, guys, I’m going to be honest with you as a woman. A lot of times when I play hard to get with a man, it’s because I truly do like him. It’s also too, because sometimes I’m not as confident, sometimes I want to take things slow and sometimes I want to see if he will put up that fight for me, if he will get that ambition to want me. Because always, as women, we think sometimes, “If a man really wants you, he’s going to show up.” And same thing for a woman. This is in the beginning stages.

And lastly too, in regards to this, I’m not telling you that you have to chase EVERY woman out there to show her that you care or that this is what you want. Just because she’s not returning your call, she was hard to get. I’m talking about a woman that you’re dating and things are going well and you notice these things that are coming up.

Thank you for reading my blog! Make sure to follow me at Apollonia_Ponti on IG and Apollonia Ponti on Facebook and Youtube! If you would for me to personal coaching you I offer 1 on 1 coaching sessions. Just head to:

Best, Team Apollonia

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  1. Playing “hard to get?” This is just one of many hoops guys have to jump through in the shrinking hope of reaching the unreachable star…a woman’s unwinnable favor. Are you that shocked that so many guys (myself included) have dropped out of the dating rat race? The alleged reward just isn’t worth the aggravation.

  2. If a woman is playing hard to get obviously her attraction for me isnt at the point it needs to be. This is where I exit stage left and go with someone else

    1. Hey! Thank you for reading Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have!
      For more helpful information head to Apollonia’s Youtube Channel!

      Team Apollonia

  3. Well said, Mickey.. I’m in the same boat, brother. It’s 2021 and men still have to guess what these ENTITLED females are thinking instead of women finally growing up and telling us what they want. So unfair to men what these privileged women do to us

    1. Hey Paul,

      Thank you for reading Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have!
      I’m glad that we can provide a community for you where you can receive advice and discuss them with other high value men like yourself.
      You don’t deserve an entitled woman, you only deserve the best!

      Have you tried any of my products? I think they would really help!
      Team Apollonia

    2. Thanks, Paul. I know what you mean. It’s so painfully obvious that women think men are trash anyway…other than the bad boys they open lust for. So if all that’s out there is the enemy gender, well, as another poster so wisely mentioned, it’s EXIT, STAGE LEFT.

  4. I have an interesting situation going on with a woman im interested in
    We have been chatting back and forth for over a month now and out of the blue she tells me im gonna try and hook you up with a friend of mine
    Any ideas or is this a test too?

  5. It only takes a few minutes to know how much you like someone’s looks and only a few days to discover someone’s beliefs and ideas, so there is no good reason for a lady to play too hard to get if she really likes a man and wants to have a long, strong and healthy relationship with him.

    1. George,
      That’s really good.
      Thank you for reading! We love hearing from you.

      Team Apollonia

    2. Thank you for reading Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have!
      That’s really insightful George.
      We greatly appreciate your response and your support!
      Kind regards,

      Team Apollonia!

    1. Hey Rodney,

      We are glad you are enjoying Apollonia’s tips!
      Thank you for reading Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have!
      For more amazing content head to Apollonia’s Youtube!

      She also has some amazing products for you too! Just head to:
      We appreciate your support!
      Team Apollonia

  6. This is more of the same nonsense just to get your hopes up again and again…only to meet UNFRIENDLY, UNAPPROACHABLE, HOSTILE women yet again. This is nothing but more FALSE HOPE FOR SALE!!!

  7. I love everything you teach. You say it as it is and it has really helped me a lot. Continue the good work.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words. I appreciate you taking the time ti read Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have.
      If you would like to see more of this material I offer several products that you might be interested in trying out!
      You can check out my products here:

      Team Apollonia

  8. very interesting video .
    But there is this one girl she is confusing me, we are friends but not that close friends. we were for 2 months and i proposed to her but she rejected and told me she like somebody else. Because i was needy and she didn’t like it so i distance my self for about one and half month before the proposal. right now i dont test and talk to her anymore but when we see ourselfes, we say hi to each other and we go our way. i see she is not interested because she never like any of my post and doest text me if i don’t but she watches my stories. sometimes i see her staring but i don’t really care.

    1. Hey Asante,

      We are so happy to hear that you enjoyed reading Is She Playing Hard to Get? 11 Tips You Must Have.
      We appreciate you sharing your story and would love to speak with you further so we can give you the proper guidance.
      Just head to this link to book a 1 on 1 coaching session with one of our coaches!

      Team Apollonia

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