In this article, we’re going to talk about clingy girlfriends. Typically when you have a clingy girlfriend, it’s because you’re getting to a point where you’re just like, “This is too much. I love her, but I can’t continue to be around this, and I need to get her to change and understand this as well.” So I’m going to break down the reasons why a woman typically is clingy with her boyfriend. And then how you, as a man, can assert yourself in the way of being a leader to try to change this overall, so it does not diminish the attraction in your relationship.
Remember that you always want to come from a place of love and understanding. You don’t want to diminish your partner or make them feel like they are not doing enough, or are doing something wrong. That will wind up having the opposite effect. It’s important first to identify why your girlfriend might be engaging in clingy behavior and then once you identify it, you can move forward with how to problem solve it together. You guys are a team after all.
How to deal with a clingy girlfriend!
Tip #1 Help your girlfriend find things they love in life.
We’re going to first go into why a woman would be typically clingy with you in a relationship. Number one reason would be a common reason, is because she is very insecure within herself and possibly the relationship. Meaning that she needs the validation, she needs the attention constantly and she just looks for you to constantly reassure her. If this is the case and you feel like this is your girlfriend, what I would encourage you to do with someone like this in a relationship is to encourage them to find something else in their life that they would fall in love with besides you. Now, I know it could be scary, because you might be thinking, “I don’t want it to take away my attention and I don’t want this to happen,” but here’s the thing: real, flourishing healthy relationships come from a balance where two people find something in their lives they’re very passionate about and then they’re passionate about each other. Because if you only have one thing in life that you’re passionate about and it’s just that one person that you love, you’re going to give them your all where it can become overbearing, and that’s what’s happening to her right now.
So encourage her to find something. Go out to events with her, encourage to do new classes, encourage her to do new things, talk to her about it.
Tip #2 Have her talk to someone.
She might be not too happy with herself. So there’s a lot of times where you can be in a relationship, and a woman can just be lost in the relationship and then always wanting to be clingy because you are her lifeline, right? She doesn’t know life without you. This typically comes from suffering. If she’s suffering, one of the biggest things is I would really encourage you to encourage her to go and talk to someone, to do meditation classes, to do self-development work, to read books. Things where you can help her with her personal journey of exploration, so she can find some freedom and maybe heal some past trauma or past things that have happened to her as well.
Tip #3 Keep an open mind. It could just be her love language.
Now another reason why a woman would be clingy is that it could be her love language. This comes down to a lot of cultural differences. I can speak from experience on this one. I’m a Hispanic woman and we are raised to be affectionate people since the day we’re born. We hug, we kiss, we touch when we talk, we use our hands, obviously, a lot. European culture can be a little bit different. They’re not as touchy-feely. So culturally or just in the way they were raised in a household, this can create how you show your love language. Sometimes it can make you feel a little off-balance if you have a girlfriend that you truly do like, but she’s very different from how you’ve been brought up in your family or what you’ve experienced.
So what I really encourage you to do here is keep an open mind. Because in different cultures you can learn a lot from each other, and typically a woman that is Hispanic can be very, what you would call clingy, but it’s just more affectionate. And if you are not this type of person, then communicate and talk about it, because this could be her love language and your love language can just be different.
This is why I always talk about one of my highly recommended books when it comes to love, and I don’t really recommend books often when it comes to love, but this one I do. It’s called The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. You can really find out a lot about your partner just by their love languages and how they give back to you and vice versa.
Clingy girlfriend 3 signs & how it can work!
Sign #1 She’s always home and doesn’t spend time with other people.
This could also be if your partner is suffering from depression. Find out what’s going on first, and see if she needs to get help and talk to someone. There might be something that just happened, an unexpected death, or a loss, so this one might just be temporary guys, and how to make it work? Just be there for her and see if she needs extra help or just someone that can listen to her.
If this is something that is constantly happening and there is not anything, in particular, going on. Find out why she doesn’t want to hang out with her friends or go see her family. It’s really important in relationships to maintain your friendships and spend time with other people outside of the relationship.
You want to have time to yourself so you can reflect on things, how your life is going, what you might be needed, so you can be clear with your communication and know how you want to move forward in life.
Sign #2 She can’t do things by herself and needs you to always be there.
If your girlfriend can’t run errands or do things on her own, she might be clingy. A way to make it work? Communicate and talk to her. Say something like “Babe, I love spending as much time as I can with you but I’d love for us to be a team. I need your help with handling things so I can do the same. Doing things on our own doesn’t make us love each other any less.” Encourage her. When she does it, give her positive reinforcement, show her with kissing and smiling how proud you are of her. This way she’s likely to continue the behavior.
You don’t have to go above and beyond on this one and buy flowers and balloons. Just an acknowledgment that you notice she’s doing what you asked and trying to change something for the betterment of the relationship.
Sign #3 She cancels her plans frequently to be with you.
This can happen with relationships on both sides. Sometimes we have a fear that if we’re not available for the other person, they will wind up walking away. And that’s just not the case! A way to make it work? Talk to your partner and let them know that you don’t want her to cancel her plans for you. If she has things planned, then keep them and you guys can work around it and find different days. Find a way to make it work where you can keep the plans you have and schedule time together.
If you’re finding that this is becoming a problem and getting schedules together is an issue, then have a set date night that’s just for the two of you. Maybe every Friday night is the time you two have together to try something out, a new movie, or art museums, dance classes, whatever you’d like to do. Just keep that night together and unless it’s an emergency, make sure you communicate if something else comes up.
My girlfriend is needy and clingy
Here’s the thing men, it’s no matter what, a clingy girlfriend, a bad breakup, a relationship that it might be toxic or even a good relationship, you have to understand that your boundaries come from within. So in order for you to reflect those boundaries and be assertive with respect to a woman, don’t be afraid to say exactly what you think and have it in a discussion on what you want. Talk about it.
There are going to be times in relationships where either one of you may need the other one’s support a little more. So communication is key here.
You don’t want to let this go on for too long and push it down to deal with for another time because you can wind up losing attraction for your partner and that can be harder to work on getting that attraction back. If you feel as though you guys are spending a lot of time together, you’re not able to do things on your own and have your own “me” time, then it might be time to sit down and see what areas in your life are being neglected and talk to your partner.
Girlfriend too clingy, how to get this resolved
The best way to get this resolved, guys, is you’re going to have to sit down and talk to her. I get it, it’s hard to tell someone that you love or really care about what they’re doing something that isn’t sitting right with you. But the longer you let it go on for, the harder this is going to be, and the hard it’s going to be to resolve the issue!
If your girlfriend’s being too clingy right now and you are just so turned off by it, it’s okay to tell her, “Listen, I’m not wanting you to be clingy. I want to miss you sometimes. And because of the fact that you do this, this and this, it makes me feel this way.” So once you start getting a constructive conversation into your relationship it’s a lot better, because nothing’s going to change unless it’s talked about.
Add in how to fix it. Don’t just tell her there’s something wrong and then expect things to turn around. Offer suggestions, let her know that she should also feel full and balanced in her life so she doesn’t feel like she’s getting everything from the relationship but she feels secure with herself. You can help her to understand that that can lead to resenting each other and not feeling “complete”. Forget the saying “you complete me” that’s not how relationships work, guys! You want to continue to have personal time, hobbies and a sense of interdependence in the relationship.
You guys are a team in this relationship together, so another great way to resolve things in the relationship is to have check-ins with each other once in a while. Maybe once a month. Check-in to stay connected and see what’s going on with each other. What you feel you might be lacking in life and how you both can grow together. Relationships take patience, communication, thinking about the other person and seeing what’s best for both of you overall.
If you like this article, please leave a comment! And as always I have something very special for you, and it’s the 20 questions to get to know a woman’s true self. This is a question manual that I give you guys to use in your relationship to deepen your relationship or when you’re dating a woman to deepen that relationship as well. I really encourage you to download that and use it!
As always, I’ll see you again in the next video and remember, you are always loved.