In this article, we are going to discuss what the whole meaning is behind the common thing I hear people say when dating. “I need space!” I know right now can be a difficult time and probably raise so many insecurities in your relationship as well as insecurities so that’s why I created this article. I am going to point out the ways that you may have influenced your partner’s decisions of needing space and also discuss many scenarios that may be happening to you right now. Then I am going to give you tips on what you should start doing right now in order to enhance this relationship and get your partner wanting to spend time with you again. Or if you the person that said you need space how to move forward from this. Before you read any further, I want you to know one of these most important things. I have coached thousands of men and woman around this topic, and it’s something that happens all the time but if you follow the right steps in this article you are going to find yourself happier with yourself and your partner after all. It’s just going to take time, practice and patience to really look deep within yourself to see exactly how to take control and fix this so your partner will want to be with you non-stop.
I need space meaning…
At this point, there are a couple scenarios that you could be wondering why this is happening. When your partner says, they need space its typically because of the following reasons. They might feel overwhelmed meaning maybe you were asking too much of them too soon or not implementing anything new to their lives. Some questions that I would ask yourself if this is something that could be happening right now are these questions. How did I overwhelm them? Was I needy and asking for too much? Did I become too emotional with my own insecurities? Was I too nice? Next, your partner may be confused or ignoring you. This can happen at any stage of a relationship early on or 5 years later. Perhaps there are some big decisions to be made in this relationship which left your partner feeling confused on where the next step has to go in this relationship. Possibly you haven’t stepped up to the plate to show actions towards something that they are looking for in the relationship. Typically, this means change.
Ask yourself these questions. Am I bringing excitement to this relationship? Am I making my partner feel secure emotionally? Do they know that I’m happy with or without them? Lastly, you may have done something wrong to cause your partner not to want anything to do with you right now. For the sake of this article let’s just claim one of the worse things. Maybe you cheated on your partner, caught in a lie, or say you’re going to change a habit and never do. At this point, you or your partner did something wrong, and your partner may be trying to forgive you. This is a scenario where you will have to be 100% patient but also stop saying sorry! You’re probably thinking WHAT? Stop saying sorry. Yes! Here is why. The minute you continue to say sorry, it just reminds them of the misery or mistake you made.
Instead, I suggest you look at yourself and see how you can show up better through your actions and self-development. I am going to speak about self-development later in this article. Space is going to be key here for you, and your partner and here is how you’re going to play the “I need space card.” You are going to give them space but still be available for them. Ask yourself how can I help my partner.
We Need Space. What Do I Do Next?
Here is how you take matters into your own hands. Maybe your partner works till 6pm and needs to come home and cook for the kids? Call delivery and order food for the family to be delivered when she gets home, so she doesn’t have to worry about it. Or another idea is. Maybe she has been telling you she needs to put air in her tires or get an oil change ask her if you can come pick up her car and get her oil changed. You have to show up in ways that you can help her in her life. Where can you add value? Get it? It’s time to get creative! A lot of people think I am going to continue to say sorry, and my partner will believe it, but that actually does opposite damage. You have to start implementing new things to show them you’re there for them but not actually there. Example: You drop off her car after the oil change. Bring her back a single red rose with a little note on it and say “I’m dedicated to getting our love back. I will continue to show you this.” Don’t call, don’t text, and let time go on till you do something for her again. By doing this, you are giving your partner space but also showing up and being available in new ways that show advancement in their life and your life by owning and granting their wishes. This is something new! At the end of the day when your partner says they need space then it can be looked at in two ways. Either they are going through a hard time and needs time to think things through or possibly would like to break up as time goes on. Typically, when your partner would want to break up you will have full warning signs before this happens. They will continue to tell you that they are not happy and that if you do not make a change they want to break up. During the time that she is needing space and not talking to you at all and giving you the idea of breaking up after a couple weeks or months, then it’s my advice to you to try your hardest to move on and be open to future possibilities. This is vital to your personal development and strength for yourself and future relationships.
Need Time and Space. Then Focus on You!
Here is where thousands of couples go wrong! They get so fixated on the ego attachment of their partner not wanting them at that particular moment that they chase and chase because you cannot be denied, they cannot give up, they cannot feel insignificant to their partner so they continue to chase which is the worst thing possible that you can do and it actually makes your partner lose some respect for you as well as losing respect for yourself. Here is the thing. I am not dismissing feelings especially when love is there, but it’s important to understand the strengths that can enhance your life and your partners so you can continue to move forward with this relationship or towards happiness since happiness if what we all yearn for as well as love. But without happiness there is no love, right? That’s why the answer during this time is self-development. This is your biggest strength right now. Think of it like this. When a basketball player or a ballerina fail and didn’t do well during their first round, they might be upset, sad, disappointed but they don’t want to fail again because there ends prize is more significant than their pain or disappointment so they focus on how they can get better on the future. They devote time and practice and determine how they can show up better for themselves and their team to reach that end goal they have been working for all year around. This is something that happens every day to the most successful people. They learn to take control, and this is what you need to do right now if you want this relationship back. Focus on your personal development. Read books, listen to a podcast, stop drinking, go to a retreat, workout 5 times a week, and so much more. So how can you show up better for yourself to be the new and improved version that your partner is waiting for? Here is another preconceived notion that many people think that they don’t need to aim towards self-development because their partner isn’t going to see it. Or they get impatient because it takes time. But here’s the thing. If you really want something, you will commit to it, and the only way you commit to it is if it’s in YOUR best interest for yourself. The beautiful thing about self-development is as time goes on people notice. I call this the silent happiness. People see you in a different light, they say there’s something different about you, you start showing up as a better friend or partner, and you just seem so much lighter or happier then absolutely everything great gravitates towards yo
Need Space. I Told My Partner This. Now, What’s Next?
If you told your partner you needed space, then it’s time to say to them exactly why. So many people say they need space but are scared or dismissive to tell their partner exactly why. This is key if you love your partner and want them to understand you with open and transparent communication. At this point, they are most likely hurt so you telling them exactly why you need this space won’t hurt them anymore it will just give them the option to understand and make a possible change if they choose to. Here is the most beautiful thing about this whole situation. Space makes people grow, and even in a healthy relationship and thriving relationships,, people take space from each other just to connect with themselves which helps the relationship. People grow and what we forget to realize is if you don’t communicate with your partner you don’t give them the opportunity to show up as the best version that they know how to be. But what happens if you have been open with your partner and nothing has progressed. Then space is well needed but also being honest and open with yourself knowing when to end the relationship and not hanging on because there is guilt. When couples do this, they end up having a significant amount of resentment towards them. So, at this point be clear about your expectations within yourself and also towards your partner. Maybe write them down and then have an open dialogue and let your partner show up or make yourself move on
At the end of the day, you love your partner and space is taken and needed in the most successful relationships. If you still love your partner do the best to show up by focusing on fixing the things that were damaged. If there is still love this isn’t the end, this may be the start of a great new beginning. So, will you take matters into your own hands?
Your coach in needing space,
Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com. She works with ambitious men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.
You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.