Sex is an important part of life. And it should be enjoyable for everyone involved! Often times we’re made to feel like this topic is taboo, or we cannot talk about it because it makes people uncomfortable. But how are you supposed to know what to do unless we can have an open discussion about what works and what doesn’t?! Often times men are left in the dark about what women want and what works for us. We teach men that they have to do so much work and it’s all about lasting for hours, and this couldn’t be further from the truth! Great sex is actually way less work and so much more fun! In this article, we’re going to discuss the myths and lies that you’ve probably encountered and just what it means to actually master the bedroom. (I’ll give you a hint, it does not require 4 hours of stamina. That actually sounds painful for women.)

How to be amazing in bed. 3 tips!

Tip #1 Slow down!

This is not a race to the finish line! Often times we are taught that we need to get to the results, the orgasm. But the truth is that if you are so focused on the results and trying to get your partner to orgasm, or just trying to get yourself to orgasm, it’s not going to be as enjoyable. Especially for your partner! Slow down! Pace yourself. Allow your partner to enjoy each moment and let her tell you what feels good for her. If you take away the moment, you take away the enjoyment. Stay in the moment.

Tip #2 Find her hot spot.

Guys, this is the thing that will set you apart for her. Everyone has their own “zones” on their body that are extra sensitive to the touch. Everyone is different so it’s up to you to explore this and find the hot spots on your partner. Also, find your own hot spots and let your partner do the same for you! Most common areas are on the neck, in between the thighs, in the crook of the elbow, and on the sides of the rib cage. And there can be multiple! Have fun with your partner exploring this and see for yourself what happens.

Tip #3 Connection connection connection!

This is so important, guys. The #1 thing women complain about is lacking a connection with their partner. Often times we are so concerned with what to do, what to say, how to say it, what to wear or which position that we lose sight of the one thing that is the most important, just connecting to your partner and being in the moment with her! Look into her eyes. Connect. Breathe at the same time as her. To get you back into the moment and slow yourself down, pay attention to her body and her eyes. Watch what they are doing. When you touch a certain spot on her, what does her face do? Does her back arch? THAT is how you connect with your partner in the bedroom. Pay attention instead of trying to think of what to do next.

If you want to really understand how to Master The Bedroom get our product here straight from a woman’s mouth! 

How to be the best in bed. The truth about what women really want.

A lot of men think that it is the rush to the bedroom and after you’ve taken off your clothes that sex starts. This is false! Sex for a woman starts before the date even happens. It happens while a woman is getting ready and putting on her makeup and shaving her legs in preparation for the night. Why? Because women are more into mental stimulation and in order for a woman to be fully turned on, it starts in her mind. This is mental foreplay. When a woman is thinking about sex and imagining being with you, the brain sends signals through her body and rushes blood downwards.

While you are on the date, make inuendos and insinuate sex without ever saying it. Play with your words and form them in a way that hints at sex but could also just be a regular sentence. The difference will be being playful and looking into her eyes and smiling when you say it. Think about sex in your mind. Only do this a few times. Play with her. When you play with a woman’s head, you wind up capturing her imagination and now she’s thinking about sex with you. Now she is turned on.

This is extremely important because a woman does not light up and get turned on as quickly as a man can. Think of it as a classic engine that needs to be warmed up. Mental foreplay warms up the engine and allows for the car to run smoothly and have you both enjoying the ride. Do not skip this step guys, it’s the most important.

How to be better in bed and help with performance anxiety.

Thinking about the magical moment between you and your partner can cause some anxiety, even extreme anxiety. A lot of that also has to do with thinking about the future. Feelings of worry and trying to map out everything that you will think, say or do can have us losing track of time and have us forgetting what’s even important; having fun!

Here’s the thing to focus on guys: if she’s saying yes to the date, she’s already attracted to you! If you guys have been going out for a little while now, she’s interested! She will also be initiating and dropping hints that she’s wanting to deepen the relationship and move things to the bedroom, so you won’t need to play guessing games here. The main thing is going to be to breathe. Pull yourself back into the present moment (get out of the future!) and remind yourself “I am enough. She’s already here with me. She already likes me. I’m going to enjoy this moment with her!” Do some affirmations in your head. And before the date, check out some guided meditations.

Keep this golden rule in mind: when I’m anxious, I’m in the future, when I’m depressed, I’m in the past, when I’m happy, I’m in the moment.

How to be better in bed for guys. What women don’t tell you.

A lot of women won’t tell you that they like to be stimulated first in their minds, that they want sex just as much as you do, that they have already been thinking about you in the bedroom and that they actually DON’T care if you have a six-pack. Now, try and keep yourself well put together, but most women don’t care about what you look like, we are not visual like men are, we care about how you make us feel. It will literally alter our brains and the way we view you based on how you make us feel and how emotionally stable you are with yourself, how confident you are with yourself. If you are able to laugh at yourself and not take yourself so seriously and also enjoy life and love yourself.

This is all just scratching the surface, guys! When it comes to being the best in bed, it also depends on what kind of woman you are out on the date with and what you’re wanting. Are you wanting a relationship? Is she wanting a relationship? Does she just want a one night stand? Make sure you are clear with your intentions and you know what her intentions are, too. If what you are looking for does not match up and align, someone is going to get hurt. So make sure you are clear with your intentions about what you want and it is the same as hers (remember we cannot change anyone. If they do not align with what we are looking for, then they aren’t the ones for us.)

For more information and to dive deeper into this, we just launched a product called Master the Bedroom. In this, you can uncover women’s perspective on sex, how they really feel, and how to master the foreplay, intercourse, aftercare and so much more. There is also a section in there to help with performance anxiety, a panel of women getting open and honest and sharing the truth about what women want, and we even cover positions and more tips and tricks! You deserve to enjoy this experience with your partner!

Let me know what helped you the most in today’s article! I would love to hear from you in the comments below.

If you want to really understand how to Master The Bedroom get our product here straight from a woman’s mouth! 

Your coach,
Natalie