How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually!

What if you knew exactly what women wanted? How to make them desire you intimately and how to make a woman want you sexually? For the most part, men may think that they need to be the hottest guy, have tons of money, or treat them like shit. But let me tell you right now, that’s not the truth!

I am here to shed some light on exactly what women want as I am a woman myself and I have worked with hundreds of women in terms of what they desire in men! In this blog, my goal is to give you the key principles that you can start to incorporate in your life and create more attraction in an existing relationship, or with the woman you’ve started dating. The key here is to understand the difference between how a woman is turned on by a man’s presence vs how a man is turned on by a woman’s presence. Women are completely different when it comes to sparking their sexual desire. We women thrive off of emotion and how you make us feel. The emotional connection is intricately linked to attraction, and don’t underestimate the importance of how you carry yourself!

How to make a girl want you: The most important thing!

You want to create a foundation for earning this woman’s trust and to ensure that she feels comfortable around you. This is where the true magic can happen! When you can be confident enough to really understand this, you have so much more to offer!

You can show a woman respect by understanding her values and asking the profound questions that help you get to know her. Foster intimate connections through your conversations with her to really get to know her.

The way you form an emotional connection is simply by showing up with a confident and determined state of mind. You want to get to know her!

That’s why I created this 2 question manual to get to know a woman’s true self. You can use these questions when you get to know her. The best thing to do is to pay attention and always remember what a woman tells you. This way, you can mention things that she suggested and she will see what type of man you are and that you remember details about her. This is important, especially in the courting stage.

In my experience as a coach, I’ve noticed that many men get confused and think that they have to be all about the woman when they are interested, but as a woman, I am telling you this is completely false! Why? It’s a part of the natural attraction process in the beginning, so not only do you want to make her desire you but you also want to make sure you are staying true to yourself and are not giving all of yourself just to convince her you are worth it.

You have to know you are worth it, and this is exactly what I mean when it comes to maintaining a sense of confidence.

You cannot make a woman be attracted to you if she just does not see you in that way. So, first things first, let’s take a look at the signs a woman is attracted to you and then let’s talk about how to get her attracted to you.

If these techniques do not work, then it’s time to consider the fact that this might not be the woman for you. You can always use this as a lesson to help you understand what you could do differently next time. Perhaps you’re reading this blog now and you end up thinking, “I see what I did wrong in the beginning.” Well, the next step would try to fix things using the suggestions I give you here and if things still don’t change, then it’s time to put your focus on yourself and eventually someone else.

I say this because I see so many men and women every day chasing someone they desire when the other does not desire them. I believe that you need to work towards something that can progress naturally, so how do you do that?

Through observation, awareness, and communication. For the most part, a woman is going to tell you how she feels and it might not be as direct and upfront as you want, but it will be obvious enough to make you aware and integrate it into your plan of action.

2 Tips: How to make a girl want you back when she’s lost interest!

When you’re building trust and an emotional connection with a woman it’s important that you do not lose yourself in the process…

Tip #1: Don’t lose yourself!

You have to make sure you see yourself as a desirable man and put yourself on a pedestal instead of her. In my years of practice, I’ve often seen people fixating on the outcome of something that is a fantasy and they live in a made up reality. It’s called Idealization. If you have a tendency to do this, one of the best things that you can do when you desire a woman is to make sure you do not go above and beyond and lose yourself in the process. This means you’ve got to make sure you’re sticking to your day to day activities and making sure that you are still focused on who you are and what you do.

If this is challenging for you, I really encourage you to download my Master Your Confidence Audio Seminar, which you can use during this process to make sure you stay on track and get this woman to sexually desire you!

#2: The woman must reciprocate!

Another issue that I often see is when men continue to make attempts and initiate when the woman is not reciprocating at all, and if she is, she is doing the bare minimum and it’s making you to question her intentions.

I want to be very clear about something. When you are trying to attract women, you have to understand that you are trying to get to know her and instead of giving her your everything, you have to see if she is willing to receive you and make some kind of effort as well. So, she needs to show up at least 20-30%, especially in the courting period. She should be asking questions about you, texting or calling you, making time for you, and really just getting to know you as well. If this woman is not reciprocating at all and popping in and out from time to time, then she might be using you for attention or is unsure about you. So, this is when you back away.

Don’t be dependent on her!

Signs a woman is sexually attracted to you and how to make her want you even more!

Now, that we got the red flags out of the way let me give you signs on how to make a woman want you sexually when she starts to show interest.

She recognizes that you value yourself

You have a purpose and you are not afraid to take the lead and go after the things that you want in your life. You are opinionated, yet respectful. It shows a sense of strength and is perceived as dominant energy, which by the way is something that we women find to be very attractive! When a woman sees success, happiness, stability, strength, the life that you are building for yourself, and the fact that you are not afraid to say, “Yes” or “No” to her, she is going to continue to want to be part of your life.

Make her feel sexually attracted to you by the way you interact with her

You can have witty banter with her and tease her here and there, but always a respectful manner of course. This builds sexual tension, shows her that you are not scared to be opinionated and it presents an exciting, natural challenge to a woman.
Two examples of this:
Bring masculine energy: make up a nickname for her, lightly tease her and joke with her here and there. Pick up on what she is giving you.
Flirt with her: make it clear that you see her as someone you want to take it to the next level with. You don’t do this by telling her that you want to **&% her! You communicate this to her this by simply showing confidence and flirting with her. Here are some examples;
“Careful with those eyes. I see you checking me out!” Or when she says something that can come off as flirting with you, call her out. “Are you flirting with me?” Then just wink and move on to the next subject. OWN IT!

Building an emotional connection when you want to make her desire you

Women act off of how you make them feel. I talk about this so much in my YouTube videos as this is what gets you sustainable results. I am going to break down what can intensify an emotional connection here.
Paying attention to what she tells you and bringing it up later. Things she likes and things that she has discussed with you. Do things that show her that you are listening to her and are paying attention to the things that she is saying. This is a way you stand out from the crowd.
Flirting with her and asking her deeper questions. Not just about her past, beliefs etc. You don’t always want it to be too serious. Focus building attraction with her so she will begin to desire you sexually. So I’m talking about asking her questions that build a little bit of sexual tension. “Where is your weak spot?” “What do you think about public displays of affection?” This gets her to start thinking about you in a more sexually charged situation, and this can easily spark a sexual desire for you. Asking these types of questions gets her to think of you in a different way.

Simply put, challenge her!

You are probably thinking, ”What in the heck does this mean?”

Well, it means that if you want to make your potential girlfriend want you sexually and emotionally, not only should you state your opinion from time to time, but you should dare her to do things. Make things playful and fun. Dare her and share some competition together. If she is interested in seeing you again and you’ve already taken her out on a couple dates, then challenge her by saying something like this, “Now it’s your turn to wine and dine me. I want to see what you come up with for our next date! I would like to get a dose of your world.”

Maybe she wants to take you hiking, but let her plan it. That way, you start to challenge her but you also get her thinking that she has to make an effort for you now. This is great when it comes to building attraction and this is something that can work in your favor!

Using these tools in this blog can really transform your overall beliefs when it comes to getting a woman sexually attracted to you. So many men think that they have to lead with sex to get a woman sexually attracted to them, but this is not the truth.

You’ve just got to understand that you can take the lead, especially because women want men to do this. When you have the right mindset for attracting women then you will be great at attracting women. To deepen your knowledge on the subject, I also encourage you to read the blog I wrote about the mindset that attracts women!

As always I love hearing from you. Please feel free to comment if you need more understanding on how to make a woman want you more sexually.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book.

To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.



  1. Allen

    Several articles tell guys that women often (usually?) initiate romantic/sexual contact by giving signals to guys they like and want to be approached by. Guys they’re not interested don’t get signals and so should stay away. I’ve never approached a woman (I’m 37) because no woman has ever given me a signal and I don’t want to offend anyone. I’m not angry at women – attraction is not a choice – and I know that no matter what I do, how I dress, etc., I will always be a zero.


  2. Allen

    Hi Apollonia – I believe that intimacy is a basic human need. Most guys can get it because they can attract a woman. I am not able to do this, and since there’s no way any woman would ever go out with me on a regular date, it seems the only way I could ever experience intimacy would be to pay a woman by the hour to go out with me (for dinner, etc.,). I’m certainly not expecting any woman to touch me – I just want to be close to a woman for once and have a ‘date-like’ conversation. Do you have any advice for a guy who has never asked any woman out because I don’t want to offend them by expressing that I like them?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Allen,
      In this siutation, you are your own worse enemy. If you believe you cant then it won’t happen. You need to shift your mindset and put in the work to get what you want. We don’t live in a perfect world and everyone faces rejection. Go out there and talk to women and ask them out. I would encourage you to invest in a coaching program or product that will help you. 🙂

    • Allen

      Hi Apollonia – thank you for your words of encouragement. You advise me to “[g]o out there and talk to women and ask them out”, but I don’t want to risk being accused of a crime just for saying hello, which happens to guys like me who women would rather never have contact with. Given this, since rejection would always be guaranteed, what’s the point? It’s hard enough knowing I’m completely unattractive without having to deal with rejection (or potentially worse) each and every time I try to put myself out there.

  3. Daniel

    How do I get a girl to like me even though I have ADHD and I sometimes forget to take my meds and I’m annoying


  4. Alex

    Hello Apollonia

    Just want to say what you are doing is great and you are truly helping a lot of guys become better and also guiding them on how to treat women the way they want and need to be treated just makes the balance in life stable. Which in return creates a loving atmosphere for all. My situation is I’m currently courting / dating a girl not officially, and things are going really well, but I am really struggling to read when is ok to go in for the kiss. Also we have already kissed once after our 4th date. The last time we hung out at the end, I took her home and we just hugged and said goodbye I didn’t kiss her after. I couldn’t tell if she wanted to, I would have been okay with kissing her but not kissing her was okay too for me. I also wasn’t seeing the usual signs to go in for the kiss. Is it bad that there wasnt a kiss after this time? I know how some girls get caught up in the kiss so I don’t want to lose the affection that we have going on. A little back story, she is close friends with my sister, so we have been doing things slow, but I do want to establish a little more of physical connection, without doing too much. Things feel at a good pace, but I would like to see her be more into it physically (not too sexual, I do want to respect her morals, she isn’t super religious she just wants it to be right), but just more expressive in a way about her feelings. I know this will probably get better if I just give it time but I was just really wondering if me not kissing her after the last time we hung out was bad and if I go in for the kiss next time without seeing the signs would that be bad? And how could I make her feel more comfortable about it physically? Its been a month and some weeks since the “Talking”/Dating unofficially, started.

    I know it’s a lot, Thanks.
    Respectfully Alex


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Alex,
      Thanks so much for your support! The thing about kissing is there is no perfect time for a kiss. You create that. You want to make sure you enhance and go after what you want by slowly holding her hand and escalating one at a time to see how she responds and if she reciprocates then that opens the door for her to kiss you. Do not let too much time go on for you not to kiss her again cause this will give you a possible chance to fall into the friend zone. The sign you need to follow is she already kissed you. So, don’t be fearful. 🙂 Good Luck!

  5. Adam

    Hi Apollonia-

    I wrote a similar question on one of your videos but thought I’d try it here too. Big fan- amazing videos. I’m speading the word about you to all my friends.

    As a backstory, I was getting to know a woman for several months- very ambiguous (I know realize this was a mistake- make intentions clear). We get together, go on dates, get intimate, etc. She once said were almost together- whatever that means. I had to travel for work for 3 months at the end of last year- we grew apart. The feelings (at least on my end are still there)- just didn’t manifest themselves. She interpreted that as a lack of interest and started dating another guy but kept this secret from me (I knew something was up). However, she only told me 3 days ago (she has been with this guy for 2 months I’d guess). In that conversation when she told me that she was moving to a different state to be with this guy, I responded like I wasn’t surprised (a mistake I think). She also said I gave off a friend vibe. Yet, for the next days, she texted me constantly, inviting me to do things, etc..

    After losing a lot of sleep over the next days, I stopped by her place and told her that I can’t be just friends and broke all contact off. Its been a horrible last few days but so far, no contact.

    I’m curious if you have any advice on how to proceed. Honestly, I love this woman & would welcome another chance as a relationship down the road (obviously not any time soon). In retrospect, I wasn’t clear on what I wanted. However, the real question doing forward is what to do now.

    I will say, I’m working on myself- new wardrobe, attitude, etc.

    Thank you.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hello Adam,
      Thanks for your comment on my blog how to make a woman want you sexually. It seems that you did not escalate when you were seeing her so she thought you were a friend. The problem here is she is choosing to be with another guy and this is what will not let the relationship happen. What I would suggest is to be focused on you as she knows how you feel about her. She is going to have to get over this guy until she progresses anything with you. So the worse thing to do is wait around. Take this as a lesson and if she comes back then change your approach around her and build attraction. Hope this helps.

  6. Rich

    Hi Apollonia:

    I got together for dinner with a group of former co-workers last week! As, we were talking about our job, a former female co-worker, who I had been very close friends with, mentioned that she and her new female supervisor had a closer working relationship than she had with me.

    This statement caught me off – guard and was wondering why she would say that?

    When she arrived for dinner, she gave a male coworker a big hug first and then hugged another female co-worker, also with a large hug in the lobby. Then, when it came to me, she gave me a side hug and said hi. As the night went on, she became more friendly, like she use to be with me before.

    When leaving the location, I walked out with her as well as the other male co-worker she hugged earlier. All three of us were talking in the parking lot. After, about 10 mins. he decided to leave. She then gave him a big hug. I also said, I was leaving too, she then gave me a big hug. But then she decided to stick around to speak me for about another 30 minutes, after he had left. We both decided to leave and she said we would keep in touch! and we would still continue to see each other around.

    Can you explain what might she had been thinking in sticking around to talk to me afterword? and then also making the comment that she become more closer to the female employee then me?

    I don’t understand?

    Do you think she showed interest me and or improving our friendship again?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Rich,
      Thanks for taking the time to read this blog about how to make a woman want you sexually. I do think that I would need more information. It depends on how she interacts with you and what your conversations are about. I am not 100% what this means as all these things are very broad and it could mean anything. I do think that you need to spend more time with her to get the answers to your questions and she said she will reach out so just be patient with the process. 🙂

    • Rich


      Thank you!

      You are the best!

  7. Mickey

    Apollonia: I read that article before. I’m just not convinced, and I never will be. Why? As one of the posters commented (and I completely agree), far too many women go out of their way to be unfriendly, stuck-up and unapproachable. Secondly, when a marriage ends, the now misandric courts will make sure that the husband gets financially shredded and kept away from his own kids. Between that, the #metoo presumption of guilt without any hope of due process, and most women firmly convinced that most men are trash, it’s kind of hopeless out there now. And this just didn’t happen overnight, mind you; gender relations have gotten progressively worse over the last two decades. Thus, I repeat, dating today for most guys is 100 percent risk and zero percent reward.


  8. Mickey

    “I know a lot of women that love men.” Yeah, that’s what they all say. Sadly, my life experience has shown me the exact opposite. Unfortunately, a romantic relationship is just the bridge too far.


  9. Peter

    This is just what I need, THANK YOU! I was doing it ‘right’ 30 years ago, without realisiing it, when I landed a girl way above my league, got married, had kids and now we’re separated. But now I know how it all works and will be back on the horse with ‘conscious competemce’.
    You are providing an invaluable service here, AP, and I will be back for a coaching session at some point


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Peter,
      Thank you for reading my article about how to make a woman want you sexually. So happy you’ve enjoyed my content and thank you for the beautiful message.

  10. Mickey

    It’s real easy to be alienated from the so-called “fair sex” when most women think guys aren’t worth a damn.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      I know a lot of women that love men. 🙂

  11. Mark

    It also goes to show that you can do all of this. Build the connection flirt be a man and move into the next faze of the relationship. You have done everything right and then she backs off. Wants you in her life but doesn’t know how or when to fit you in. So she asked for time you give to her cause you really care about this lady and you weren’t just there for a hookup. Then 3 months after you give her the time she asked. Keep in mind you are communicating like you’re in this relationship daily. You tell her we should break up because it would be alot easier to be friend’s now instead of a couple more months down the road. She doesn’t want that. She says just a little more time it will all work out. So you give her this. Another 3 or so months goes by. Now she leaves you just before the holidays and just wants to be friends. So you you no closer you did everything right and now you have friend that has totally moved on but is single. Now I have a friend that I’m in love with and have to figure out how just to love the woman she is. Just needed to vent.


  12. Gennaro

    A woman friend that I have known for a little over a year, at first we were exceptionally tight, I’d go over to her house, fix work benches, fixtures and the like. She in turn, would cook me meals, nice conversation, and have developed feelings of wanting more from her, and believe I messed up one day? I was leaving, and she said very playfully, you are leaving, did you leave anything behind? Then in turn, where I should have playfully said, what are you doing , tapping and pushing her away, then should have pulled her in for the kiss? However, instead of doing that, I grabbed her hard, breathing heavily, and was burning for her, I then ran out of her house like a scared little schoolboy! After that, another day, I went to her house again, tried to kiss her before leaving, and pulled her head from side to side totally, avoiding the kiss? After that, I sent her a deep letter of love and how I felt, about her, and she claimed, it was over the top, then said to another male friend of mine, that I creeped her out, and said I was stalking her! I told her that I didn’t appreciate her saying this about me, and we became distant, with her saying she wishes me well, but we are two different people, don’t call or text me anymore! knowing now, she had lost all respect for me as a man. We see eachother sometimes in passing, on the bus, we still talk, but no texts or calls. I really loved her company, and hanging out with her… How can I get her to look again at me as a better person, then maybe, get back to her trusting, then possibly a romantic relationship?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hello Gennaro,
      Here is the thing. Your reactions caught her off guard and did scare her a bit. You lost your composure and long term that can make a woman think that this isn’t the one and could raise some red flag. I think the time is what will get you to regain her trust. Also, understand why you lost a little control with yourself in this relationship. Give this time and do not try to make any moves on her now. You have to show her that you will not do the things that she knows you will do. Meaning try to contact her again. After a couple months go on then you can try to just start by a simple “hello”. This will take time. Good luck and I am here if you need any further support.

    • C Parker

      Hi, I am very happy to come across this site. I believe it will go alone way to help more people. Here is my question. I married a girl whom i trained in the university and give her a police job as a cadet police inspector. She was posted to another state after her training, she live alone while I live with my four little girls. At a time she stopped visiting us two times a month but once in six weeks which she stayed two day then go back to where she lives and work. We are happy family but all of a sudden she started keeping secretes for me such as changing her password from the one rightly known to me. She no longer call me on phone as often as she use to call up to a week or more. She always nag and hate me, she make love to me before this time of hatred ones in six to eight weeks. When her behavior get worsted she stopped calling me, or text, she refused to come to visit me and the kids. Although she buy some food stuffs, children playing items and send to us. I want a male child but my wife refused to have sex with me and she is not showing interest to work her transfer to the same state where we are. Having a baby for now is not her interest. To cut the hole story Short my wife don’t appreciate me for any thing I do. Even as i purchase a new car, she do not appreciate it. Not until I had through the brother that she said I own money to some people that she did not like that. I had misunderstanding with my wife over the phone because she tell there family that I borrowed money. This leads to bitter words between both of us, of which I went to where she lives to apologize to her but she refused. I continued through her sisters. She have started picking up my calls but not at all time. I text her love and inspiration massages every two days she will not reply me. I will send phone air time for her calls she will not say thank you. She no longer call me pet names she use to call me. Like “Daddy” or my love. I pay for her house rent bill where she stays to make her happy. But still she have not shown appreciation to me.

      Pls what do you think is my problem right now and the solutions for it.

      How do I get my wife attention back to me by loving me and respecting my person.

      How do I make her to value me more than any other thing she have on earth because I so much love her and have invested and willing to invest more on her.

      I am 10 years plus in marriage I have never had extra marital affair to say this problems comes from it.

      Pls your advice to enable me regain my home.

      Thanks and Remain Blessed.

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About me

I work with YOU, men, to master your attraction skills and confidence in order to find the right partner or become an irresistible dater, Deepen your current relationship, or get out of the friend-zone!


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