First Date Conversation Starters: The Complete Guide On What To Say!

In the today’s day and age, a person that walks by you might give you a smile from time to time. When this happens, you might think,“ Whoa, that was nice,” “She’s having a good day!” or you might find yourself in complete disbelief so you spin around thinking that they were waving to someone behind you. This is a pretty normal reaction. Why? Because it makes a lasting impression when someone makes eye contact and smiles directly at you! This does not happen often in our world today.First Date Conversation Starters

I bring this up because the same thing happens to us when it comes to dating or casual conversations. It can be a bit challenging to just go out there and speak to a complete stranger, so I wanted to write this article today on the perfect first date conversation starters! Please feel free to share your comments below and if you have any questions write them below.

We are so consumed by social media, internet, virtual relationships, and the instant gratification on everything, that our memories and energies sometimes become accustomed to this today’s society. So, when we receive a human form of love from an absolute stranger it may catch us off guard. It’s hard to start up a conversation with someone you’ve just met!

Why is it so hard to find first date conversation topics?

There are plenty of reasons why finding topics for conversation on a date is so challenging for some people. First of all, many of us are not use to talking to strangers or getting to know someone face to face instead of social media. This often creates an additional element of stress or fear.

Maybe you have a shy personality and you are worried that you may say the wrong thing, maybe you haven’t dated in ages and feel like you live in the Flintstone days, or maybe you’re just sick and tired of dating and making small talk with complete strangers!

Any of this sound familiar to you? Although I can state plenty of examples of why it may be hard to choose good conversation topics for a first date, I just want to get straight to the juicy part and give you tips on how to start great conversations with people you may or may not know.

Date conversation starters to help you get to know one another

Below is a list of questions to help you identify and be confident with your date to see if he or she shares the same values as you, and whether or not this is someone that you would like to go on another date with. Also, please feel free to use these questions if you want to challenge yourself to be open and start conversations with anyone!

• Where are you from?
• What are your hobbies?
• Do you have any sisters or brothers?
• Have you read any good books lately/ What are your favorite books?
• What is your favorite food?
• What are your favorite TV shows?
• What do your weeks usually look like?
• Do you like to travel, and where have you been?
• Does your family live close to you?
• What do you do with your friends when you hang out?
• How is your relationship with your mother and father?
• What did you want to be when you were younger?
• What was the worst thing you did when growing up?
• What are you passionate about?
• Where do you see yourself in 10-15 years?
• Have you had serious relationships before, and how many?
• Are you looking for someone to share your life with, or to just have fun right now?
• If you could only choose one favorite song, which would it be?

The most important thing about conversation starters for dates…

Be engaging and remember to always take pleasure when asking these questions! Show you are interested. When your body language shows that you don’t really care about the answers to these questions, the other person is going to pick up on it. Paying attention to how you deliver and answer questions is the way you can engage and see if someone is aligned with what you want.

Remember to look and listen for signals. Although, someone is always asking the questions stories can come out of these questions and jokes. You don’t have to plan out every single one of your conversation topics for a date. Be casual, be cool, and just see where the conversation takes you.

Remember, keep reciprocating questions and stories throughout your date. If you do this, the conversation will just flow easily after you get comfortable with each other and break the ice a little. If you are challenging yourself and practicing your bravery to have conversations with complete strangers remember to see where these conversations take you. Sometimes all you need is one question to let the magic happen!

Good Luck!



Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. Excellent article. What I find on the first date is that he is often too busy talking about himself to carry out an intelligent conversation that is mutually interesting for both parties.

  2. So your start of always follows first date and it is always exciting and memorable one. An anxiety, uneasiness and dilemma about what to do and how to be at first date are always in the back of your head.

  3. Thank you for your for all your impute. I am so glad I found you now, I am just sad I ruined a wonderful relationship because I didn’t know or put into practice some of your advise.

  4. Thank you, Apollonia, for sharing your excellent points! Through your guidance, I am learning that understanding and caring about what a woman values – her goals, her likes, dislikes, fears and triumphs – can serve as a window to her heart; she wants a man to take interest in her. I also find that complimenting her on a piece of jewelry, for instance, or on what she is wearing is a great ice-breaker and tends to lighten the mood. If I want to talk about the weather, I can always tune into The Weather Channel!

    Your manual on 20 questions to ask a woman in order for her to reveal her true self is a perfect guide to keeping the conversation positive, meaningful and free-flowing and I highly recommend it to all. Thank you, Apollonia, for sharing these essential resources with us and for all your messages of self-empowerment!

    1. Hi Dave,
      Thank you so so much for your comment on my blog about first date conversation starters. I appreciate you!

  5. Hi, Tony, and welcome! Although I am writing to you for the first time and know nothing about the relationship you were in, please cut yourself some slack; a relationship takes TWO, so don’t beat yourself up and assume that you ruined it. I have been there too, my friend, and I can say there IS a light at the end of the tunnel.

    You sound like a sincere, goodhearted person and I hope you realize that the best of times may well be ahead for you; that special someone is bound to see and appreciate the good in you. While there’s life, there is always hope for a better tomorrow.

  6. As a result of the poor behaviour of other men, I do not approach or engage any woman – no matter how attracted I am to her. I refuse to make any woman uncomfortable so I literally do not talk to any woman unless she talks to me first.

    1. Hi there! Thank you for you comment on our blog First Date Conversation Starters. Can’t wait for you try them out.
      -Team Apollonia

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