How To Talk To Girls

First of all, there is no perfect answer for how to talk to girls. There are so many articles saying that this is the way you start a conversation, and most of them are in fact may be misleading information because it all depends on the situation. As you read through this article, I am going to try to tailor as much information as possible so you understand how to talk to girls and how you can be more confident after you read this article and understand everything that goes through a woman’s mind. Not only am I going to give you suggestions on how to talk to girls, but I’m going to go into detail about real-life situations that happen often. What if you get denied? Well, we will talk about that too!

Starting to talk to a girl can be limited by fear

If you’re having trouble talking to a girl now it’s because of this #1 reason that’s holding you back and it’s fear! Fear is the most significant driver in people’s lives, and sometimes we forget that what our fear based mentalities are telling us are completely irrelevant towards what the true outcome could be. First, you have to figure out why you may be fearful about talking to a girl. So let’s talk about one of the common reasons that can play into most.

The fear of rejection!

So here is the thing about rejection. Everybody gets rejected! You might feel a little embarrassed afterward and it might bruise your ego a bit but that’s why its called a bruise. The most successful men that score dates have girls at their fingertips, and end up being in relationships sooner than others are the ones that aren’t afraid to go after exactly what it is that they want. Here are the two most exceptional things about rejection. One, you find out early on that this girl was stuck up or not interested, so you’re better off and two, everyone gets rejected even the most good looking people, trust me when I say this! Confidence is what comes from within, and many girls can feel this when you approach them. This might get in the way as you falling into the nice guy trap. Everything in life is an energy-based field that attracts precisely what we are thinking. So, if you approach a girl and you aren’t confident, and you doubt yourself then a girl is going to feel this, and your chances of being denied are going to be higher then if you were to approach this girl with confidence and charisma. So, no magic potion gets rid of fear besides inner work which I will mention further along this article. Once you start to face your fears, you will see that they slowly diminish. My goal is to give you some tips on how to start a conversation with a girl, so you are less fearful in the future.

How do you talk to a girl & what do I say?

One of the biggest things I don’t hear and the best piece of advice I can give you is to be yourself. If you aren’t yourself and try to act like someone your not, it will just come off weird to a girl, and it’s just a downward spiral after that. So many men think that they have to paint this episode or be the best looking guy to have the girl they want and be the king at mastering conversations and attraction. What if I was to tell you that is false? Would you believe me?

Well, you should because it is! What makes the men that get girls attracted to them, their experience and also their confidence. Girls are intrigued by a confident man, and this is something that we look for so when you talk to a girl, you need to just be yourself and be confident! If you’re struggling with confidence, I wrote another blog about how to become confident which you should check out next. So, a simple hello goes a long way. Talk to the girl and ask her how she’s doing and be present in the moment with yourself and her. Make sure your posture is standing up tall, and you are exuding confidence as if she will not reject you. This is the only way that you will be able to rule out your chances of being rejected and mastering the art of talking to a girl. Take all that pressure off of yourself because you are the prize too! Woman want a man that is going to be stable in how he feels about himself and you know your the shit so why not show it!

5 Ways to talk to a girl you like

Here are a couple of things that you need to focus on when you start to talk to a girl.

Body Language: Make sure that you are not too close to her and in her personal space. Also, make sure that no matter where you are when you approach her you are standing up tall, not slouching and making eye contact. You want to make sure that your body is facing her and no one else, so she gets the idea that you are trying to give her the attention and no one else.


Handshake: depending on where you are and if you are getting to know her at a bar or through friends a handshake or a kiss on the cheek depending on cultural differences is the way to start to greet her. This is a way of making physical contact so your presence can be known.

Smile: Women love to see a man that smiles! It’s a great thing because it shows that you are nice and you are confident. Smiling speaks a thousand words that you can’t say. So make sure you do it!

Behavior and Confidence: Don’t change your behavior to be someone else that your not. Your behavior should not be a cocky man and overly confident, be humble and know that you are worth everything and more.

Speak to the girl like your best friend: Forget that she is a beautiful woman and you might want to get her number. Just stay in the present moment that you want to talk to her. Don’t forget the goal. You will have so much more confidence and charisma, which will allow her to reciprocate. Once she reciprocates, the attraction process begins!

Ask questions about herself: Girls love to talk about themselves so ask them questions about theirselves, so it helps you ease the tension in the beginning.

Give a compliment: Give a compliment and ask questions so you can build the attraction.

By following these fundamental ways to approach her you will be able to gauge the way she’s feeling the conversation. I made a blog about first date conversation starters that will help you when you go on a date with this girl. The ultimate goal is to find the girl you like and make sure that you can cultivate a healthy relationship with her. The more you focus on the desired goal and less on the fears you will get your girl and also be more confident when you approach and start a conversation with a girl. It becomes 2nd nature!

How to talk to a girl you like that doesn’t like you

Since we don’t live in a picture-perfect world, let’s talk about if she rejects you nicely or even not so nicely. This can be a huge bruise to your ego, or you might feel embarrassed. What I always tell my clients after they get rejected is to look at it differently. When a woman rejects you it’s because she wasn’t the one for you in the first place. Also, rejection makes you stronger and closer to your desired goal. The more you practice, the more you won’t look at rejection the same way. That’s not to say that you would be rejected that much because if you follow these steps, change your mindset I know you won’t be! If a girl says, she’s not interested in talking any further say “It was nice meeting you and thanks for kindly letting me know.” Let’s say that she was rude and had an attitude say this. “ Oh, I’m sorry you got the wrong impression. I wasn’t trying to hit on you or anything I was trying to have a conversation but thanks for letting me know. Have a great day.” The difference with this last response is you are getting back the control in this situation, and her overly confident self can think about the fact that you weren’t hitting on her and she was oblivious. You walk away with dignity and grace and still have an enormous amount of respect for yourself either way.

So what are you waiting for? It’s about time to start talking to girls and trying out these methods! Remember, it all comes from confidence and how you feel about yourself. So, wear something that makes you feel handsome, so you have that extra feeling of confidence. You got this!

If you want to make a lasting change and sick of not knowing what to do in your dating life now is the time to book a session with Apollonia to get real results NOW!

Book a private coaching session here.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with ambitious men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. why do I get the feeling that the burden of opening your mouth first will forever remain the man, guys shoulders, I call it burden due to how one-sided it is, that women almost never open their mouth first or start, initiate an interaction with a guy first, even if they have a strong desire, attraction for him.

    1. Hi John,
      I don’t necessarily think it’s always the man’s burden to start a conversation, I think you would be surprised if she were to initiate the conversation lol. The important thing is to feel comfortable and to ask her questions about herself and the things that she likes to do. You can always put some humor into the conversation to ease some of the fears. I’m glad you are getting pointers from my blog.

      1. Hi Apollonia – that’s the thing: many guys do not feel comfortable initiating conversations with women. The reason is that there are many cases of guys getting rudely dismissed (or worse) just for saying hello. How (honestly) can you expect me to enjoy myself and be relaxed around a woman when there is a significant chance that I’ll be called a creep or just ignored? Most women seem to want to be left alone, so the best thing for guys to do is exactly that – not that we want to.

  2. I have no problem striking up conversations with women of all types, including those I find very attractive. I’m considered decent-looking, well dressed, and well spoken; I have a great job, a good sense of humour, and live a well balanced life with lots of hobbies, etc. My problem is that although women clearly enjoy talking to me, nothing ‘more’ ever happens. We talk, chat, laugh, sometimes over two or more drinks, but I literally never get the sense that the woman is even potentially interested in me sexually. I’m not a pushover in any way and often disagree with the woman, and tell her so in a way that respects her and me. I’m certainly not a ‘nice guy’ and have boundaries like everyone else. If someone disrespects me or a woman I’m with, I have no issues telling them off. I have no idea why it is that I’ve never been on a date – not even one – in my life. Could it be that despite the fact that women are attracted to my energy in general, I’m not able to be sexually attractive?

  3. I recently spotted a woman outside a coffee shop – supermodel looks, and a complete glamour puss…

    I didn’t know her, but we had mutuals on social media, So I just went straight up, smiled and introduced myself – explained why I was introducing my self, and how I knew her name. I didn’t comment on her looks or anything like that as that would’ve been such an unimaginitive thing to say, but rather said something appreciative about something she’d put on social media.

    I made sure to keep things light hearted, and just talked to her as if she was a friend, and acted indifferent about her drop dead looks.

    The conversation flowed, there were many smiles and laughs, and we got on like an house of fire. We’ve had a couple of coffeee dates since!

    You’re approach really does work Apolonia – I’m no George Clooney, but I just siezed the moment, why the hell not.

    I just approached her like she was a human being and made it all about her and what makes her tick.

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