Do you find yourself wondering why it’s so hard to find a good woman, or to be attracted to the right woman? Well, I believe that this is a big question to ask yourself. Finding the answers can bring lots of positive change to your life, and I know that you will find a lot of truth right here in this article. Experiencing difficulty in finding a good woman can stem from multiple things that I will discuss throughout this piece, and I know it’s a common question on men’s minds while they’re out there trying to find the perfect fish in the dating sea.

We are living in a time during which our society’s obsession with instant gratification has multiplied in the dating scene. Simply put, ever since sex became easier to get, real love became harder to find. This is precisely why I felt the need to write an article that explores all subjects and questions you have about finding a good woman. It’s important to note that in order to find a great partner you must be prepared to be a great partner as well. This means that you will attract what you put out. Life throws us obstacles, and these challenges also show up in relationships. The way you approached these obstacles in the past has shaped you into the man you are now. Though these experiences have probably left scars, it’s important that you try your best to let go of fear, pain, or pessimism so that you can focus on attracting the right woman for you.

If you need any tailored advice, please feel free to comment below at the bottom of this article or drop me a message about this blog. I am always happy to hear from you!

Finding A Good Woman Is Hard!

Typically, when a man says this I ask him about the activities he’s involved in, what kind of conversations he has with a woman, and what intentions he communicates to her via his behavior. Finding a good man is difficult for a woman as well, so pay close attention to the steps I am going to share with you in terms of finding a good woman! I am also going to go over some patterns in your behavior that you may be experiencing when you’re dating women in general. Having the right conversations with a woman and knowing how to start a conversation with a girl is very critical when you are spending time with her on a date. As a result of our world today we forget how to have those face to face conversations. We are so consumed with text messaging, internet dating, and reality shows. I am not passing judgement on any of these types of things because I am no exception, but I mean to say that we’ve lost the tools for approaching a woman and asking her deep questions to truly get to know what type of woman she is.

That’s why I created a manual with a list of questions to help you!

Furthermore, this has a lot to do with your own perception. I know you’ve heard of the law of attraction, and I often discuss it in my blogs, but this is something that can be manifested. If your thoughts are always believing that you will be attracting the wrong woman, this will only continue to happen. So, I encourage you to try switching your thoughts to something like this: “I haven’t found a woman that measures up to my values or standards yet. But I know she is out there and I will continue to be open to receiving what I am looking for.” You can use this as a daily affirmation if you want! Affirmations are proven to bring positivity, which in turn lights up your energy to receiving relationships that are right for you!

How To Find A Good Woman: 6 Expert Tips

Struggling to find a good woman? Here are some tips that might help you find the woman of your dreams:

  1. Evaluate potential love interests that may be in front of you
  2. Come across as serious
  3. Meet women in the appropriate environment
  4. Don’t jump straight into sex
  5. Evaluate if you’re looking for comfort or a relationship
  6. Are you life trapped? What can you do about it?

Below I go into each tip in depth so you can get a more comprehensive knowledge of how to find a good woman.

Tip #1 She might be in front of you

Now, I am sure you’ve come across plenty of good women in your day but these types of women aren’t always the easiest to get because they have high standards. Women look for a man that is not only confident but who will come off as mature, honest, loyal, and consistent without being overly pushy. A woman like this is someone that will appreciate an intellectual conversation. This is why I made the deep question manual that I mentioned above. These questions will help you to begin forming an emotional connection. She also wants to see some effort from you. How are you planning dates? Are you keeping your word? Are you being consistent?

Tip #2 Can you be taken seriously?

A lot of women will put you on the back-burner if you come off as too friendly and are constantly joking about something. They will think that you aren’t serious about anything longterm and you might just be playing the field. It’s true that women love humor, but there’s always a time and a place for it.

Tip #3 Where are you meeting women?

So often I find out that men are dating women that they meet in clubs… Sometimes they’re even dating their best friend’s ex! I mean things will not start off that well if you continue to pick up girls at clubs or date girls that dated your friends. I have to be blunt. This is just asking for a relationship to go wrong. Let me be very clear when it comes to meeting girls in clubs. I’ve had plenty of clients meet a great girl at a club and it turned into something special. The key was that the guy wasn’t going out trying to meet girls in clubs all the time. So, do you always pick up girls at clubs? Good girls go to clubs too. It’s true that sometimes you can meet a good woman there but it’s hard to have a conversation. Just enjoy that moment and then pick up the phone to really get to know her a few days later. I wouldn’t advise meeting people in clubs all the time, especially if you’re wondering about where to find a good woman.

Tip #4 It’s all about the sex

Yes, I know you love sex but if this is the only thing you are seeking every time you go out, this isn’t the best way to find a woman who will want something real. You are chasing a high that is easily fixed when you have sex with a woman that you find attractive. Of course, women can have sex with whomever they choose and sometimes just want to have fun with no strings attached. Just keep in mind that having sex with a woman too early on makes it harder to decipher who she truly is. You can tell by a woman’s energy, looks, and how she carries herself if she is independent and classy even if she chooses to get down with you for one night! If you’re interested, then both of you should make a conscious decision to not go there right away!

Tip #5– Emotionally unsatisfied

You might be looking for comfort but not a relationship. What I like to call a modern relationship. Here is where you have to be honest with yourself. Are you looking for someone to love and face challenges with or are you solely looking for comfort, affection, and the feeling of being wanted by someone?

Tip #6 Life Trapped

I saved the best for last! Yes, “life trapped” is a thing, and it takes some time to work through. It’s not something that can be healed overnight. It takes work and accountability to notice the patterns when you are falling in them. What is this? A life trap can be defined by patterns that start from childhood. Though there are plenty of different life traps, I am going to discuss the one that pertains to this article’s subject. Many men I speak to woo women but never really connect with them. You may find yourself thinking, “Why is it so hard to meet a good woman” when you are going from woman to woman insisting that none of the women you meet satisfy you. The closer you come to intimate relationships, the more you latch on to the initial infatuation. The problem is that these relationships never last with you. So you make a woman fall for you but never develop a deep bond. When the honeymoon stage starts to fade, you lose interest. When she’s fallen in love with you and begins to show more affection, you might feel that she’s clingy and you feel ready to move on to something else.

Despite the fact that you’re meeting women, you still struggle with loneliness and feeling bored or empty. There may be a void inside and you’re actively trying to find a good girl to fill that void. Perhaps you’ve begun to believe that you will always be alone simply because this is what you know. As a child, you may have felt the same ache of loneliness. Maybe you didn’t know your father or mother, or perhaps they were cold, unemotional, and never gave you that affectionate love. Your emotional needs were unmet and you grew up emotionally deprived. You continue to subconsciously create a detachment to love and emotions. So, whenever you insist that a woman isn’t beautiful enough, smart enough, or just isn’t right for you, tune into your life trap and honestly ask yourself if you might be finding fault within others because the feeling of warmth and love feel foreign and uncomfortable to you. If this resonates with you it’s time to identify what’s going on while taking some responsibility for your current actions. Remember, I am always here to guide you.

How To Find A Good Woman?

I believe that finding a good woman becomes easy when you peel back the layers of the onion and explore why you might be attracting the wrong type of women for you. If you recognize a pattern in your everyday routines then I would suggest switching it up a little. If you aren’t stepping outside the box and challenging yourself then the time to begin doing so is now! Since this is such a common challenge for people, I designed a free eBook entitled 7 Common Mistakes Men Make When Attracting A Woman. This eBook breaks down common mistakes that you may be making right now!

Here are just a couple ideas on how and where to find a good woman.

Dating Apps – What! Did you say dating app? Yes, I did! I actually wrote an article all about internet dating and in it I explore today’s online dating world. One way you can find a quality woman on a dating app is by taking a look at her photos and bio. Typically, a woman that is smiling, traveling, and posting healthy activities (as opposed to half naked photos) is a woman you should give an opportunity to.

Coffee Shops – A lot of women who own their own business or are going to school go to coffee shops to work or to take a break. If you notice that she gives you eye contact a quick smile, a hello can go a long way.

Through Friends – Don’t be afraid to ask your friends if they know of any good girls that they can introduce you to. I know this might come off awkward but if you are really looking for a good woman then it’s about your approach.

Social Media – Start looking at your friends’ friends and see if there is a woman that catches your eye. She should have some positivity on her page, and not too many nightlife photos. She should look like a well-rounded individual with passion and goals. A little message can go a long way. Just read her comments or look at her photos to make sure she doesn’t have a boyfriend!

Networking Events – I know it may be difficult to approach a woman, so networking events are great places to meet people. This is the type of place where everyone approaches each other and it doesn’t seem awkward. You’re all there to network and then you can see how the conversation goes from there.

Activities and Communities – This is a great way to meet a woman because not only are you giving back to the community, you also share an interest. A lot of independent ambitious woman involve themselves in non-profits, corporate runs, mud runs, color runs etc. You get the point. Try looking into what is going on in your community or what non-profits you like and start getting involved!

Grocery Stores – I know you might be asking how on earth do you approach a woman at a grocery store? In general, it’s a great way to just spark a conversation. Listen, we might hate to go grocery shopping but the food makes us happy, doesn’t it? It’s a love/hate relationship we have with the grocery store so a cute, confident man approaching us will make it all the more interesting!

Weddings and Holiday Parties – I love these times because everyone is happy and talkative. This is the time where you can just approach anyone, have fun, dance and just live. Meeting a woman here is a great way to start a potential relationship.

Finding A Good Girl Can Be Tough, But It’s Far From Impossible…

In this article, like with all of my articles, my intention is always to be as very clear as possible. It’s important that you look into the reasons why you may not be attracting the right woman.First Date Conversation Starters If you are attracting women that are only after you for your money, looks, or companionship, then it’s important that you really pay attention to the tips I provided you with. I know that when a beautiful woman approaches you and you begin to date, it can sometimes be difficult to let go when you notice that there are some roadblocks that arise or things that you cannot accept. You might decide to let things carry on longer than needed. That’s why it’s so important to ask a woman these deep questions early on. In time you will get to see your answers.

You don’t want to ignore a woman’s behavior. If there is a well-established relationship but her lifestyle isn’t something that you can agree with, then I suggest giving her the opportunity to change. If not, then it’s important to move on. When you become addicted to negative patterns, insecurities can develop also leave you feeling empty or alone.

I want you to focus on your intentions and attraction when it comes to finding a great woman. Change your mindset, know your strengths and weaknesses, and if this is the case for you, work on figuring out why you haven’t been showing up as the best version of yourself. Give yourself time to fix this after you acknowledge it, and continue to focus on asking the right questions and recognizing behaviors that these women show you. If you’re reading this article, I can promise you’ll find an incredible woman soon.


Your love coach on finding a good woman.

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.