Internet dating can be so overwhelming and very discouraging! I know, I’ve been there! It can feel like a chore and depending on how you feel at that particular moment, you might have the tendency to just swipe right or left, without really taking your time or taking it seriously. Just like anything else, there are downsides to online dating and using technology to find a mate. If you’ve ever used any of these apps, you’re probably already aware of the cons to dating online. But I’m here to tell you that if you use it correctly, you might be surprised that it’s not such a bad thing…
What you write in your bio, the pictures you use, and what you do before you even open your app can make the difference. Dating apps sometimes get a bad reputation, but it’s all about knowing WHO is on it, knowing HOW to use it, and what to do BEFORE you start swiping!
As we move on please feel free to comment below if you have any questions and need any advice. I will personally answer them myself!
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Internet dating: Why is this such a powerful tool
There is nothing worse than going out on a date and seeing someone look nothing like their profile picture or getting messaged for a “hook up”. Or how about scrolling through all the bathroom selfies, shirtless pics or seeing someone chugging a bottle of champagne in their profile picture? Or how about finally finding someone that captures your interest, getting a conversation going, and then you never meet.
Yes, I get it! Sometimes you feel like you’re on autopilot only to feel so burnt out and left thinking it was all just a waste of time. But think about it. There are thousands and thousands of active users on these dating apps so with these numbers, you will naturally experience the not-so-great-side of internet dating, but there is an upside to it that we sometimes don’t see or have the chance to see! I’m here to tell you it’s time to embrace these apps and I’m going to show you exactly what to do to start using them correctly. Remember, using dating apps can not only help you find your partner but can also help you train your dating muscle.
Did you know that people have actually found the love of their life using these apps? That’s right! Think about it – we live in a world completely different from the world our grandparents lived in. Back then, people would meet their spouses through their family and friends, work or school. Most of the old love stories you hear about start like that. But today’s society is different! We live in a world where technology and the internet is a part of our everyday lives!
It’s time to change our idea of how these love stories begin! Let’s start by talking about the types of profiles that are on these apps, so you can easily identify what you’re looking for, and be able to point them out when you see them. Having a clear idea of what you want and what you see is super important so you can begin to use this app or site with efficiency and cut through what you’re not looking for. I want to introduce you to what I like to call D.A.T.E. – the 4 profiles present in online dating.
Dating online: the 4 types of profiles you’ll see
There are 4 different profiles of people that you’ll find in using an internet dating site or online dating app – called D.A.T.E. Pretty easy to remember, right?
So, let’s start with the D: the Doer. The Doer is the individual who is all about business. This person might be in corporate or is an entrepreneur. You’ll find this person in business attire or a suit in most of their profile pictures. They might even advertise their business a little and they usually take the time to write out a decent bio. This is a great match for you if business and career are important to you.
Next, you’ll find the A: the Athlete. The Athlete is the individual who is all about health, wellness, and fitness. The Athlete will have photos of themselves doing races or competitions like cross country marathons or mud runs. The A could be a very good match for you if this is your lifestyle or you find health and wellness to be important to you. The A can also be a blend of a D which is a great sign of an all-around adjusted individual.
Then we come to the T: the Tease. The Tease is an individual who takes those shirtless bathroom selfies and may or may not have a lot of clothes on. They might post their modeling photos possibly in lingerie and/or be that individual surrounded by men and or women in all their photos. This person is also someone who is posting a lot of photos of them partying and showing themselves in a nightlife environment. If you are looking for a serious relationship, the T profile would not be someone you’d want to message. This is man that will seem available but end up pulling away.
Then we come to the E: The Educator. The Educator is an individual who is meditating, doing yoga, happy and smiling in all their photos. They are inspirational. They might have a positive affirmation somewhere on their profile or photos and may post pictures of themselves traveling. This person has a tendency to write a lengthy bio because they are using a dating service for one reason and one reason only: to find a partner. Yes, I know what you may be thinking. How about the ones that are traveling and just on this internet dating site because they visiting and are in town? Well, that’s where you come in and ask them where they live or take a look at their hometown if the application gives you that capability.
Please note that my metaphor of the online D.A.T.E is not to judge, make fun of, or slander anyone on these dating applications. My goal is to be real with you, so if you have been questioning yourself or asking, “Does online dating work?” my hope is to be able to be open, honest, and to be able to educate you and help in some way.
So if you come across a T profile, and there will always be these people on internet dating sites, you’ll know how to read them.
The key to using these profiles is to understand that not everyone on dating apps is there for a relationship. They may be there for a hookup, looking for a casual partner, a friendship, or someone to party with. That’s why it’s YOUR job to set your intention of what you are looking for before even entering the app. Be completely honest with yourself in answering this question and it will help you cut through the profiles that aren’t compatible with you. This will simplify find what you really want in an efficient and exciting way. It will also help you see what you are putting out there, and it could help reveal what kind of profile you’re putting out there and whether or not it’s going to help you attract the type of pattern you want!
So now that you know who’s on these internet dating sites, now it’s time to learn HOW to use this amazing technology called the dating app. Wait… Did I hear you say, what? Amazing technology? That’s right! It’s something in our reality and people are using it. But it’s all about HOW you use it. Here are some tips now on how to use a dating app and what not to do when you are ultimately trying to find a partner:
Online dating services: The Do’s and Don’ts!
BEFORE YOU BEGIN
Get clear! What do you want in your life right now? Be honest and ask yourself. Remember what you really want will show up in your feed. The Law of Attraction is at play here. Yes, even in the online dating world.
Set an intention EVERY TIME you open up your dating app or dating site.
Visualize what you want. Connect to it and see it!
Ask for guidance to help you attract the right partner. This is something we underutilize!
USING THE APP
Your bio is a reflection of who you are. If you don’t take some time to fill out your bio, you will misrepresent yourself. List what you like to do, but make sure not to overwhelm the bio with qualities you look for. Creating this checklist will rule out lots of potentials.
Don’t forget to mention how awesome you are!
Your profile picture should be just you, don’t have anyone else in your main profile picture, and stay away from group pics.
Men – it does not matter if she is your sister do not put photos of other girls. If there is anything you can take away from this blog then this should be it!
Do not have shirtless photos reflecting from a mirror to simply show off your body. These pics screams one thing and one thing only – the “T” Profile. Convey confidence in a healthy way!
Women – selfies are ok, but let go of the snapchat filters or pucker lips. Just be real, be true, and be you, because you’re beautiful!
Show your adventurous side!
Smile, Smile, Smile! Oh, did I mention Smile?
Stay away from one liner sentences like; “Let’s see where this goes.”, or “No idea why I’m on here.”
Don’t put your height. This is for both men and women.
Be yourself and don’t change for anyone! Do not compare yourself to others saying things like, “I’m not like other girls.” Men will instantly do an eye roll.
Save the sarcasm until you meet. It is hard to get humor via text or message if you don’t know someone personally.
If you are a dog lover, great! But don’t say “I only swipe right for your dog.”.
If you’re a yogi, it’s ok to post poses, but don’t do too many all in one profile. Switch it up with other photos – variety is what matters.
If someone doesn’t message you back, don’t dwell on it – keep it moving. Remember, what you focus on grows! Law of Attraction!
Men, if the woman likes you then message her. Women like to be courted, so take advantage of this moment! Don’t just sit back and wait for her to message you unless this is standard for the dating app. No Games!
Dating online can be an incredible tool for anyone!
Internet dating can be great for anyone, even if it’s something that you haven’t used before or might be frightened to use. I encourage anyone single to use it, (including my clients!) because it helps you train your “dating muscle”. This muscle is important so when you do have someone you like, you know what questions to ask, your flirting style is on point, and you know how a good date should turn out, whether you end up meeting your person on a dating app or not.
Some last things to point out are: try not to get wrapped up in virtual conversations and never meet someone face to face. If it takes more than a week without the person leaving town (if they are not local), then my recommendation would be to stop the conversation as people sometimes use this for gratification or attention. Also, if the person does not message you back don’t take it personally. You never know what is going on in that individual’s life and it happens to everyone. Some people just forget to delete the app and never use it.
If you go on a dating app just for entertainment, there are better ways for entertainment like reading a book, watching TV, or catching up on your favorite Netflix series. Don’t use the dating app 5 times a day, because then it can become a chore. Use it maybe once a day or once every other day, unless you are messaging someone you are interested in.
Remember, not only do we live in a world of technology, but also a world where energy rules. You want to be sure that the intentions and attention you give to this dating app come from a clear space every time you enter the world of internet dating. Use your time wisely. From my spiritual approach and background and my overall experience, you can manifest everything and anything including love. I’ve had so many friends, family, and clients find their partner thanks to internet dating sites, so this really does work. Remember, you will find your partner and there is someone out there waiting for the beautiful/handsome you!
Love, Dating, Relationship Coach