Have you ever been somewhere and someone who exudes self-confidence walks in? Somehow you can’t put your finger on how to become confident, but you just see that this person has definitely mastered it! When they walk into a room everything lights up around them, heads turn, people stare, their smile is contagious, and they have a confident walk that captures everyone’s attention! This is someone who has learned how to be confident. Here’s the good news: Instead of continuing to ask yourself, “How can I boost my confidence,” I am going to give you the answers in this article! I’m going to walk you through what makes a woman or a man exudes confidence that is undeniable and completely contagious!
First, let’s start with what makes us want to be confident. Some might want to be confident because they might want to be happier. You may want to feel prettier and more attractive, you may want to stop being that shy girl or guy, and you want to be desirable to yourself and others. Most of the time it’s easier to get out there and find a partner when you master the ways to be confident. You might be looking for an energy that you’ve seen in other people that you haven’t been able to see in yourself, or “life” has happened to you in the past and it has brought your confidence levels down. You want to know how to be confident again. Mastering your confidence does take time, work, and energy. I can guarantee that if you are willing to put in the work of getting the ultimate confidence, you will be one step closer to finding your ideal partner or just feeling better about yourself every day!
How to Be Confident in Myself Starting Today
Dating these days can feel like you’ve been entered into the Miss Universe pageant. You were never trained to be a pageant girl and you’re still trying to figure out how, right? I mean men and women these days are spending fortunes on looking their best when it comes to eating right, exercising, and even plastic surgery! What we tend to do as humans is compare ourselves to others but in order to be confident, we cannot compare ourselves to others. By comparing ourselves to others we are not only fighting an uphill battle of trying to be someone who we are not, but we are also giving our attention and/or energy to something that will not serve us and will not teach us confidence. So, avoid comparing yourself to others by saying some common things like “I wish I was that skinny”, “I wish I had his car”, “When I have that amount of money, I will have the relationship of my dreams”, “I wish I had her hair”, “I wish I had her smile” etc. These are just a few examples of some self-deprecating comments we feed to our ego that don’t teach us anything about developing self-worth. Instead, we are training our energy to exude less confidence. The women and men that have mastered confidence do not compare themselves to anyone else, because they are completely comfortable in their own skin and have a significant amount of self-love.
By understanding that every look is unique and every look is special, you always have something different to offer than the person standing next to you. Energy and confidence are what make you attractive. Letting go of limiting beliefs and practicing self-love while understanding you are enough will make you the most attractive woman or a man walking into that bar, date or party! In order to stop this habit, you must identify the moments that you are feeding your ego with self-deprecating comments and shut it up! This will help you become confident and you will start mastering the ways on how to become confident.
How Do You Become More Confident?
Keeping your mind and body healthy is very important when you are trying to establish a healthy momentum to keep you on track. Some important ways to keep your mind and body healthy are meditating, journaling, and having time for yourself. By doing this you are making a clear space for your thoughts and energy, and you start to feel rejuvenated from the days and weeks that can wear us out. Meditation helps with figuring out what may be the root of the lack of confidence you currently have. Meditation helps you clear your ego of limiting beliefs and opens up space for positivity, learning, and growth. Make sure you block out some time for yourself to work out or to even read a book! Growth is essential because when you have growth in your life, you don’t have a feeling of being bored or feeling like you’ve plateaued, asking yourself what’s next. So, it keeps your momentum upbeat and encouraging. This, in turn, plays into your confidence. Remember that you are a smart, successful, attractive man or woman. Don’t downplay your qualities as others will be able to sense your lack of self-confidence.
When you are dating or in a relationship, do not make self-deprecating comments about yourself or others because this is just showing someone else your insecurities. Being critical of yourself or others not only shows a sense of insecurity but will also give the other person the subconscious belief that you aren’t good enough or you don’t have confidence. Truth be told, this is a complete turn off for most men and women. Speak about positive things instead and do not spend your time talking about negative subjects and what you may not be happy with. Listen, if you are not happy with something in your life, the only person that can fix it is YOU. Do not drown your date in misery by talking about negative topics. Instead, if you need to talk about these things, save it for your mother or your friends.
Another way to be confident is through your body language. When you’re on a date or even in a relationship, you want to make sure you are engaging in conversation with your body language. Your feet and legs are pointed in your partner’s direction, you’re making eye contact, and you are also slightly leaned in to show that you are interested and engaged in the conversation. By doing this you are not separating yourself, which is something that shy people have a tendency to do. The downside of being shy and trying to figure out how you can be confident is that it can have an effect on your date and they might think that you’re not interested. So, it’s important that you practice body language in order to embrace and highlight your confidence. Here are a couple pointers to get you started so you’re one step closer to truly being confident.
Simple And Effective Ways to Become Confident.
Eye contact. when you date or your significant other is speaking to you, look into their eyes while they’re speaking and engage with questions. By doing this you are showing them you are interested and confident enough to look them in the eyes without any other limiting distractions. Just be careful to avoid staring at them. The occasional glance away is fine. When you walk into a room, picture yourself with a white glow around you, walking in slow motion while everyone’s heads turn towards you. Just like in the movies right!? It might sound silly to you, but visualize this before going out. Remember to stick your shoulders back and point your head up, and this is one step closer to being confident. When walking with your shoulders back, your head up and not looking at the ground, it shows a lot of confidence and also makes you stand out from the crowd. One thing I always tell my clients, both men, and women, is this: If you are going out, or even going on a date, a new outfit can help with your confidence. The feeling of wearing something new can help with ways to be confident but it is not always necessary. I’ll be honest, a new outfit always makes me feel great!
Smiling is my personal favorite. Think about it. Say you’re in an elevator and someone walks into the elevator greets you and smiles. Your first thought is probably, “Oh that was nice!” They are confident enough to approach someone and smile charmingly. A smile can go a long way – especially with someone you don’t know. It’s sad to say this but smiles are not often seen these days, so when you smile at someone they remember it. Smiling shows openness and you become more approachable! So, ladies, this means you! I speak to so many men about women and when they smile. Their response, without fail, is that they love it when a woman smiles! It makes it easier for a man to approach them. So many men tell me women are not approachable when they don’t smile and we just tend to think they are stuck up. Same goes for men – if you smile at a woman and the woman smiles back, approaching her is an example of how to be more confident. When having conversations remember that having an opinion matters. You do not have to agree with everything your significant other or date says. Stating your opinion on a general topic that you both may be speaking about shows you have your own opinion and values, which by the way also shows a man or woman your sense of independence. By doing this, you’re setting the tone of confidence. Just remember to always state your different opinion in a positive way without putting anyone else down.
When it comes to dating apps and social media (which is a big topic when it comes to self-confidence), so many women and men love the Instagram models, editing their photos before posting, and taking numerous selfies only to hashtag #happy or #blessed. Ok, let me get one thing straight if you want to master a healthy relationship. If you want to find a good quality man, do not post numerous selfies and half-naked photos of yourself. You might think this is showing confidence, but it’s actually the complete opposite. A man that is attracted to your half-naked photos or scandalous selfies is only interested in one thing. That may be attention or a one night stand. If you’re looking for a relationship and a high valued man, then post photos of you with friends, traveling, laughing, family, candid photos where it’s not always revolving around ways that you can be the next Instagram model or take the best selfie with your snapchat filters.
This also goes for men. Men, if you are looking for a true relationship and have had a pattern of going after these Instagram model post and best selfie only pages, then it’s time to grow up and become confident! Instead, look for a beautiful girl that may have photos of her traveling, friends, or being social. This goes for social media and for dating apps. Do not swipe right for someone who is chugging a beer or a girl that’s in a club full of champagne bottles around her. This is not a man or woman that is ultimately looking for a true relationship. This is what I call someone in search of a Modern Relationship. So, if you are single and looking for someone, let’s start thinking about your social media and dating app posts. Guys, confidence is not about posting shirtless photos showing off your abs in the bathroom mirror, and ladies, posting lingerie photos on a bed is not either. So, if you have this start erasing and get to improve what you want to attract.
Having patience with yourself is key to this process. If you want to get better, it takes practice. Just remember to not give up and to keep reminding yourself of these daily practices when working on ways to start becoming more confident.
7 Tips for becoming confident
#1 Do not compare yourself to others
Remember that you are not right for everyone but you are perfect for the right one! Loving yourself and who you are is the key to confidence and it’s not about who is the prettiest or the most handsome. It’s about who carries themselves with respect and confidence.
#2 Letting go of limiting beliefs
Identify self-deprecating comments and learn to stop these limiting beliefs. You do more harm than good if you continue to believe your self-deprecating comments. Telling yourself you aren’t good enough lowers your energy and will not increase your confidence. It will have the opposite effect instead.
#3 Keep your mind and body healthy
Meditation, Journaling, self-care, and carving some time out for yourself is always a good idea! This helps you recharge from the day to day lifestyle of just going and going. When you set aside time for yourself, it gives you some time to really get back to your roots in getting to know yourself. It’s important that we continue to do what makes us happy and spend time alone. Keep this in mind if you are looking for ways to boost your energy. Meditation, Journaling and listening to music are always ways to boost your energy and confidence!
#4 Do not be critical of others; be positive!
Remember, if you love to gossip you need to cut it out! This is not something your man or woman is interested in. We hate to hear negative things about others or even about the relationship constantly. Speaking negatively about others or being critical of others shows a lack of confidence from the person that is being critical or negative. Stop while you’re ahead!
#5 Master your body language
Mastering your body language is basically the blueprint of confidence. Practicing your eye contact, posture, smile, and conversations with someone is so important when you want to form a connection. Remember to walk with confidence and to give yourself compliments while doing so. Also, giving someone else compliments and knowing how to receive compliments is a great step towards confidence. People love this and compliments are always great conversation starters!
#6 Social Media and Instagram Posts
It’s time to declutter the half-naked and sexy photos and repost them with what you want to attract. Though showing off your body and being sexy can be mistaken for confidence, it isn’t true confidence. People look at these photos thinking you want attention and need the confidence boost. So, let’s put some nice clothes on, and start the new photo shoot!
#7 Having patience and forgiveness with yourself
Nobody is perfect and we all came from different walks of life. Practicing these self-confidence tips daily will not only help you with your self-esteem but will also help you with attracting the right partner. Just remember to have patience with yourself and to use these activities as much as possible. Forgive yourself when you make a mistake and move on!
Remember, so many confident and successful people learned how confidence works because they had so many people telling them they weren’t good enough, they were ugly, dorky or they just were not enough. So, they used that fire within them to be the most successful person they could be.
A lot of us aren’t raised in an environment where we have parents teaching us what confidence is about, so we have to go through trial and error till we truly master it. So, it starts today!
You are enough. I can guarantee you this. It starts with you and all you need is to be your best self and commit to showing up for yourself every single day.
Your coach on how to become confident.
Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com. She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.
You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.