How To Make Her Want You! 5 Tips That REALLY Work!

You’ve felt it before. There’s this beautiful woman that you’ve always wanted to ask out, but you just don’t know how, or you’ve been dating someone for a while and then you notice she seems to have lost the interest she used to have. You really want to know how to make her want you, but you have no idea what will bring her to you. You may think, “I’m not attractive enough for her,” “maybe she just doesn’t like me anymore”, “I can’t really do anything about it.”

Nobody said dating was like sitting on a couch watching TV and munching on a Snickers bar! Sometimes the exact thing that you think may be helping you is not helping at all.  My hope is that I can share with you all some ways to easily make her want you more, without you seeming too desperate. The purpose of this blog is for you to tailor your situation to the advice that I’m giving you below.

Before we continue further, here are my 5 tips to make her want you:

  • Have your own sense of independence
  • Understand attraction
  • Have your own opinion
  • Have an abundance mindset
  • Be witty and create banter

Continue to read on below for more information on each point, and feel free to comment. I always welcome your comments questions and concerns below about how to make her want you and I will try my best to personally reply to you!

How To Make Her Miss You And Want You More!

Whether you’re at the start of a relationship or deep into one, sometimes it’s hard to know what will make her be attracted to you. Women are not like men; when we see a man, we don’t instantly know whether or not we are attracted to them. It sometimes takes us time to decide. Women need convincing because women operate emotionally and are attracted to how a man makes us feel. So you will understand how to make a woman “feel” by reading this blog.

If you have trouble controlling your emotions and reactions when it comes to dating then the biggest advice I want to start with is pacing yourself. Think of dating like a crock pot and not a microwave. Crock pots take hours to cook something, they deeply absorb flavors, while microwaves are instant and pop out hot food in minutes. A lot of us are trying to get the microwave effect in dating. I would not suggest telling a girl immediately how much you like her and you are all about her,  for example. Don’t shower them immediately with a million compliments. Dating takes time. You have to build attraction, and it comes in different ways and levels. The only way this can happen is if you pace yourself. Don’t become overbearing with compliments; build the attraction with curiosity and mystery. This is the key!

The only time I would ever tell you to reassure a girl in the beginning with “I like you, and enjoy our time together” is when a woman is highly insecure with herself and she is not sure why you like her. Still, don’t overdo it!

Making her miss you will enhance the mystery in your relationship, and this is crucial. Here’s why. The mystery keeps things fun, enticing, and it can maintain attraction in a relationship. So how do you allow the mystery to be part of a relationship? It doesn’t mean disappearing and being overly secretive. It actually means focusing on yourself.

Follow what you’re passionate about. Dive deep into what you love and focus on you; don’t direct every ounce of your attention to her. Let your mind let go a bit and stop obsessing over what you can do to bring her closer to you. If you love playing the saxophone, book yourself a gig playing somewhere. If you like to paint, make paintings. Book a trip, get away, post on social media showing an amazing camping trip you had with some friends! Show that you’re focused on something and can devote your attention to that. Once you do that, you’ll ignite her curiosity again. Not to mention you’ll make yourself infinitely happier. Suddenly, she’ll wonder what you’re up to and want to know more — that’s the mystery I’m talking about. That’s the mystery that will bring her closer to you. But you have to understand how to do this skillfully. You have to still be chatting with her and creating some type of banter between the times that you’re doing your thing and seeing her from time to time.

And when she asks you how you’ve been, don’t just jump on the question and say “oh, I’ve been great! I’ve been camping, didn’t you see my pictures?” Maintain that mystery. Keep it short and sweet, so that it makes her wonder more. If you tell her everything that she could possibly want to know and tell her immediately how much you like her, what is there for her to figure out? She wants to know what else she can discover with you, and for you to fuel her fire without her knowing. That’s how you’ll make her want you. Create sexual tension and escalate!

How To Make Her Want You Badly | 5 Tips To Get Her Back!

Relationships of all different stages can come to a point when the spark is seemingly gone. Perhaps it was never there, and you’re watching her from afar wishing you could be with her, or you’ve been married for several years, but you don’t sleep in the same bed anymore. Every relationship is, of course, varied and different, but there are some simple things that can make her want you – either again, or for the first time when dating. These original 5 tips are for everyone!

Tip 1: Have your own sense of independence

The number one thing that keeps women sexually attracted to men is confidence. This doesn’t mean being cocky, full of yourself and vain. There’s a level of having too much confidence that is toxic, for both you and others around you. Women don’t want to date egotistical men, they want to date confident men. Men that know themselves. You have to find that confidence that is somewhere in the middle. You’re sure of what you want and what you need, but you’re not completely blinded by your own self-importance and arrogance.

The kind of confidence that women find sexually attractive is when you value yourself and the things that you want in life, and that means having your own sense of independence. When you value yourself, you set boundaries in the relationship, you’re firm in your decisions, and you let her know what you want or don’t want. You continue to value the things you always valued even before you met her, like your career and your family. Your life and your interests shouldn’t revolve 100% around her. Continue to foster your own interests and passions.

The minute she loses sexual desire for you is the moment she feels you’re dependent on her. Women are attracted to strength and when you don’t have strength as a man, women may not value you as much as you want to be heard and given attention. You’ll be wondering how to make her want you more – like you’re probably wondering right now. Step back for a moment and ask yourself if you’re a needy boyfriend and need to give you and her some space, or if you’re confident and are developing your own interests and passions.

At the end of the day, you want to be taken care of, too – whether that be sexually or emotionally. Having a partner that can be there for you means you need to show that side of strength, and what comes with that is having your own independence. You don’t have to have all the money in the world to make a woman want you more. You just have to be more of yourself and love yourself.

Tip 2: Understand attraction

Woman are not attracted to men that “have game,” they’re attracted to a man that has the game to make them feel great. We don’t want to be with men that play with our emotions or have strategic pick-up lines. At least not high-quality women. We want to be with a man that loves himself, knows himself, can maintain a sense of mystery and pace himself well in the “game” of dating.

For example, let’s say it’s the beginning of the dating period with her. She asks you if you’re dating other people. Don’t be just direct and say, “No, only you.” Just simply say, “I wouldn’t call it dating, no one has really caught my eye just yet. But I see an opportunity coming.” This does not confirm or deny! MYSTERY!

If you ask a girl, “Do you want to be in a serious relationship?” That comes off as extremely needy and insecure. Say something like, “Are you a monogamy type of woman?” with a slight smile. Maybe not even those exact words, but you get the picture (dating isn’t a scripted venture, either). Keep things with a bit of curiosity, because it’s important for escalating with a woman sexually before you show feelings for the first time or again to reignite the spark!

As women, we’re not just attracted to respectful men that say all the right things. Understanding that maintaining a sense of mystery in the relationship is important for the rules of attraction. The first five minutes of talking to her aren’t going to prove that she likes you, even if it may be the case for you. Escalate your interest for her by pacing yourself and saying things in a way that’s a little more swept under the rug. Sexual escalation is the key to modern-day dating and confirms a woman’s decision if she wants you or not.

Tip 3: Have your own opinion

A woman finds you attractive not only because you both have an emotional connection, but also because you’ve articulated a balance in your own life that she sees herself in. She sees success, happiness, stability, and confidence. If you show her the life you’ve built for yourself, you’re not scared of saying yes or no to her, and you maintain your sense of self, she will want to continue to be part of the relationship.

That being said, it’s okay to not always be in agreement with her. If you both see a film and you hated it and she loved it, tell her why you hated it! Having your own opinion is attractive because it emphasizes that you are your own person and know what you like and dislike. You don’t always have the exact same taste when it comes to everything, and that can actually bring an interesting and important layer to a relationship. Don’t shelter your ego entirely by being submissive to her. She will know that’s what you’re doing, and that will be extremely unattractive to her. You should feel comfortable to say your opinions about anything with her and to contradict her. Contradiction can be extremely sexy, by the way. That’s exactly why some couples can sometimes seem very different, but also make perfect sense together.

The next time you disagree with her about something but are afraid of getting in a fight with her about the topic, don’t be afraid to be yourself. You have to be comfortable to be yourself in a relationship. That is how you learn to love and grow as a person, too. If you’re too afraid to be yourself because you think she won’t like you anymore, remember that knowing yourself is attractive. It will bring her closer to you.

Tip 4: Have an abundance mindset

By this, I mean that there’s no such thing as too little when it comes to self-development. This is actually the key to having a good relationship, whether it’s the beginning, middle, or many years into a relationship and she’s losing interest in you.

Do everything to develop yourself and your passions. Go sky diving. Change your look. Go hiking. Do something adrenaline rushing. Developing yourself will always bring her closer to you. There’s no such thing as doing too much in this respect.

It’s easy to get comfortable with saying “I’m not going to do this” or “she’s too beautiful” but what if you allowed yourself to be open to everything? There’s really no such thing as being too short or too ugly for someone, either. Allow yourself to be open to all of the options of the people you’re interested in. You have it in you to operate from a place of security, confidence, and love for yourself. It’s not about what you look like and about doing the right thing. It’s about how you show up. You can never lose in life if you develop yourself and allow yourself to go after what you want.

Tip 5: Be witty and create banter

This sounds obviously easier said than done, but it’s important to know that banter is an essential part of dating. You shouldn’t take yourself and dating life so seriously. Have a sense of humor about things and show that you can have humility and can be charming. Allow yourself to be spontaneous and say silly things. You don’t always have to say the “right” thing. Sometimes being too “correct” can be extremely boring and unattractive. Being witty and engaging in banter shows her how you are as an actual human.

So here’s an example. Let’s say you’re on a date with her, towards the beginning. Out the blue, you say “You weren’t the type of girl I thought you were.” Bam. She’s thinking, “what does he mean?” and has to think about whether or not you like her. You don’t answer, and instead, say “nothing bad” and smile. This is an example of being a bit witty and creating banter that boosts attraction and at the same time adds mystery.

Or, let’s say you matched on Tinder. Obviously, you haven’t met her yet, only on the magic of your phone (welcome to modern dating). But you want to somehow convince her to go on a date with you and meet you in person. Let’s say she has a cute dog in her photo. Say something like “your dogs adorable, do you mind if we go on a date together?” That opens the conversation to something funny. She might say something like “bring her back by 8 pm” and continue the banter. This kind of mysterious silly chatting can seriously boost attraction, even without meeting the person yet.

Another possible situation: you’ve been married for several years but you don’t sleep in the same room anymore or don’t talk much. Here banter can be seen as just pure communication. Talk to each other, send your wife messages. Let her know you’re thinking of her. Make jokes with her when you see her in the house. This will let her know you love her still, and make her love you more again.

How To Make Her Want You Sexually!

The number one thing that a woman loves and will keep her sexually attracted to you is when you value yourself. What I mean by that is that you set boundaries, set the tone in the relationship, and you stand firm about what it is that you want, don’t want, and what is your like and don’t like. What does that mean? You communicate and tell her those things, you show and tell her what you think and want and you don’t hold back! You focus on something that makes your life and continues to thrive in your life. That could be your career, opening up your own business, focusing on your family, dedicating some time to a non-profit, or taking lessons on how to cook (because maybe you like to cook). Whatever it is, those are sticking to your values, because it shows a foundation of strength. What that strength means to us is that we can feel secure with you.

A woman that desires you sexually continues to desire you sexually and emotionally not only because you have an emotional connection but also because you’ve formed a life she wants to build with you. If you show her a life that you have built for yourself and that you value for yourself, she is going to continue to want to be part of that life with you. This keeps up that sexual desire. Women are attracted by strength and dignity! Masculinity!

How To Make Her Want You Back.

I hope this advice can help you make her want you more and for you to get the woman that you want to have in your life. It’s not always as hard as it seems. If you’ve read to the end, you’ll realize that the most important thing is having a love for yourself and to be confident in what you want and how you want to get it. I wish you all love and happiness!

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

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  1. Dear Apollonia
    All that you describe in this article is about “Being oneself” at all times. This is a profoundly spiritual effort.

    It is very unnatural to strive to be all that you are describing. Because we already ARE all that you are describing. We just have to discover that which we already ARE. And even by merely starting on the path to self discovery, we will see the material world beginning to fall into our lap.

    The MOST BEAUTIFUL woman that I CRAVED for 12 years fell into my lap but then I have been on the path to self discovery so committed, that I don’t feel the need for this woman in my life anymore.

    My point is you should combine some more serious strategies that will help people genuinely discover themselves and consequently attract the material world.

    But thanks for all your efforts. I always enjoy reading/watching your youtube. You are a very genuine and sweet person.

  2. Hi AP,

    Great topic to go LIVE with today. Get ready for the “Feed Back … It’s Coming!”

    Have a great day. ????

    1. Everything in the article was spot on. I like how you focused on improving the self and how that will attract others. After all, we only control our choices . Thanks for writing the article. I will definitely put into practice your advice.

  3. “As women, we’re not just attracted to respectful men that say all the right things.” So I guess I’m finished before I even start. I am always respectful to women because as a guy who no woman will ever be attracted to, I know that if i try and be flirty, I’m very likely to be accused of harassment. Women – it seems – want guys *they find attractive* to approach and flirt with them. Other guy (like me) get a strong message (via women’s body language) to stay away. I take care of myself and dress well – and have a great sense of humour, None of that matters – the signals i get from women are of disinterest. So I stay away.

    1. Hi Joshua. Thank you for taking the time to read How To Make Her Want You. This sounds like it could be a mindset shift. What it means when someone says “all the right things” is that they aren’t being authentically themselves. Only saying things that we want to hear. Work on how you really feel about yourself on the inside. Find that confidence and happiness within yourself and you will have people gravitating to you. How you truly feel about yourself on the inside (what the voices in your head are actually telling you) can either push people away or pull them in.

      1. Hi Apollonia – I don’t “say all the right things” – and often have disagreements with women I talk to. I do take care of myself but confidence with women has always completely eluded me because I’ve never had a positive experience – *every* time I’ve tried in the past (and I’ve tried different approaches, all of them authentic) – I’ve gotten nowhere. And many times this has been with women who were (according to my woman friends) showing potential signs of interest. They can never understand why it doesn’t go well – but it never does – they can’t think of anything I do wrong or should do differently. To answer your question about how I feel about myself in the inside – I feel numb and fundamentally unattractive – I always have since I was a small child.

        1. Hey Joshua, thank you for taking the time to read how to make her want you. So the reason it’s going wrong when you’re approaching women is exactly what you just said… how you feel about yourself can be felt. Women are more energy sensitive, we go based on tuition and our gut feelings. We go based off of energy. If you don’t fully love yourself… it’s really hard to allow someone else to love you.
          I would really work on doing affirmations daily. Here’s the thing… clearly women are attracted to you… AND you have female friends… so you’ve got attraction down. Now it’s just really doing the work on the inside and challenging those negative thoughts. There are kind, incredible women out there. Let yourself fall on your face and make some mistakes a little more, don’t judge yourself. But challenge that voice inside that says you’re not attractive.
          Try affirmations. Say them infront of the mirror and make eye contact. You can google some and see which resonate or try “I am enough.” “The right people stay in my life. I am safe and I am protected.” “I am good enough and I’m proud of myself for learning how to love myself and doing this.”

          Absolutely wishing you the best. You will find love. You can even try online dating… but I think I would really suggest doing these affirmations first for 2 weeks, then change them to a different set… and keep going with learning how to love yourself and think highly of yourself. Your girlfriends around you do.

          1. Would you say that my woman friends can sense this energy you speak of? Why would they say they can’t understand why nothing ever goes well if it’s the issue? I’ve tried affirmations, btw, but there is no proof that I am good enough or that I am worthy of love.

  4. This straight and factual, I use to feel insecure about losing her, after I put this to practice I know the confidence will work it out!

    1. Hi There,

      Thanks so much! Happy you liked our blog about how to make her want you!



  5. Truly her daddy is very strict with her but I told her that at least she suppose to message me but she said she will try and since pass 6 days she never send or call me

    1. Hi Aalu,
      Thanks for reading my blog about how to make her want you! Happy you commented to let me know you stopped by. 🙂

  6. I’m really happy to know all what I know to day from you

    I lean a lot to day and without starting it, I’m sure that by implementing all what I learned today from you, it will develop my relationship 100%

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