She Rejected Me But Still Acts Interested! 7 Reasons Why!

She rejected me but still acts interested: What does it mean?

A woman has rejected you but she still wants your attention. She might text you, flirt with you, or even intentionally lead you on and leave you feeling extremely frustrated. At this point, you may be thinking, “Why in the world is this girl playing these games?!” These mind games disturb you to the point that this whole situation is driving you crazy! I get it. As a coach, who also happens to be a woman, I have coached thousands of men in this type of situation. This is something that happens all the time and I know exactly what to do.

In this blog, I am going to give you some techniques but I will also give you some insight, as a woman, as to why this is happening. So, if you’re in a situation where you’re realizing, “She rejected me but still acts interested” you’re in the right spot!

I welcome your comments, questions, and concerns below this blog, so if you need some advice on your specific situation, all you have to do is comment below and I will try my best to respond.

She Rejected Me: The 4 Main Reasons Why Women Reject Men!

In most cases, women reject men for a couple of different reasons and I am going to explain them here for you.

Reason #1: You’re too into her

Normally, when you are in the attraction stage of dating, you want to make sure that both of you have a mutual connection and are reciprocating and initiating at more or less the same level.

What ends up happening here is that a man over-initiates, does not become perceptive to her responses, and continues to try and make things work. This typically happens because you like her (of course) but you also want to get a result right away, so you don’t give her time and space, and this pushes her away. A woman also wants to feel like she has to work for something and when she sees that she has you in the bag, then it makes you less desirable. I’m not saying to not give women attention, but don’t rush through things and pace yourself. If this is you, don’t worry because I will tell you how to fix it further along with this blog.

Reason #2: She’s unavailable or just not ready.

She might be young or recently out of a divorce and she does not want to get into anything too serious. When this happens, almost 100% of the time a woman will voice this or show you through her actions that she does not want to settle down or commit. She might be looking to play the field and have fun with other men. If this is the case she might have rejected you because she saw that you were getting more serious than what she is currently looking for.

Reason #3: She sees you as just a friend

Another reason why you might be thinking, “She rejected me but still acts interested“ is that she feels that you are more of a friend than anything else. This could be for numerous reasons. Perhaps you weren’t direct and you did not take the lead but instead, you said “Yes” to her all the time. It did not give her any substance of who you truly. You were constantly trying to make her happy but forgot about yourself during this time.

This happens often when you put a woman on a pedestal and you look at her as the prize and forget you’re a prize as well. Women are attracted to the inner confidence of a man and I talk about how to get out of the friend zone anymore in my product here!

Reason #4: You don’t inspire her

Women want to be inspired by a man and true inspiration comes from motivation and positivity. She wants to learn from you so if your life just becomes all about her, how can she be motivated by that? Being aligned with a purpose and following and going after something that makes you happy is exactly what you have to do in order to get her to think of you as high-quality and different from everyone else.

She lead me on then rejected me: The 7 common reasons WHY…

Listen, women can sometimes be the most confusing creatures on the planet and sometimes we can even confuse ourselves! I want to be 100% clear about something here. If a woman rejected you and is leading you on and you continue to stick around, then you are already doing something wrong.

You must have a sense of self-respect for yourself and stand for how you are willing to be treated. The one thing I say to men constantly is if a woman is disrespectful or is playing with your emotions and finding joy in it, then it’s your fault for sticking around. Never in a million years would I suggest any man to be with a woman that does this to him.

Why? Because this is toxic behavior which leads to unhealthy relationships. There are women out there that will use you for attention and want you to stick around so they will breadcrumb you here and there and have you when they want you. So my question to you, is this a one-track relationship? If it’s on her track then I want you to follow the tips I’m going to give you in the next section.

How to get girls to like you instead of rejecting you.

Lastly, the only time I would encourage you to maybe stick around is when a woman is open with you that she wants to be with you but is going through a difficult time like studies, loss of a family member, child troubles, etc. When a woman is open with you on why she lead you on and then rejected you, then this is when you just need to be focused on you and show her that you will be ok with or without her instead of proving that you can help her through this rough time.

If she needs the support then support her but also show her that you will give her personal space and not become overbearing. A lot of times when we like or love someone we go into what I call “flight or fight” mode, and this is not where I want you to go. This means that you are trying to make the goal fast and you are frantically recovering, and trying to make up for everything and typically giving 100% of your attention that you lose yourself in the pursuit and this is what will kill attraction.

Paying attention to the root of her behavior…

Reason #1 Coming on way too strong.

You have to pace yourself and not put a woman on a pedestal. When you date a woman, you might think that she is the best option you’ve ever had, but women can feel this if you treat her as though you’ve never had a girl like her before. If this is you then I want you to back away and start letting her come to you more. You can go on other dates and show her that it’s not all about her at the moment and if not, I want you to dedicate some time to yourself and get back your sense of self. So she starts to see that she wants you! 

Reason #2: You aren’t authentic and you’re trying to be someone you’re not.

There are a lot of people teaching techniques that make you not authentic and you may think if you say some “perfect” line then you can get the girl. Completely false. Invest in the things that you are going to feel comfortable with, analyze yourself and then choose to learn from someone like me or someone else who preaches this. 🙂

Reason #3: She is dating someone else and entertaining another option right now.

Don’t focus on being jealous of the other guy and getting bent out of shape because things aren’t going your way. Stay grounded in your dignity if this happens and move forward. You don’t want to be looked at as a desperate man if she and the other guy don’t work out. If they don’t then you have a better opportunity because she saw your willingness to walk away and respect yourself.

Reason #4 She sees that you want more of a physical relationship than anything else.

Sometimes men lead with their sexual desires because this is what they’ve been taught. If you are dating a high-quality woman that wants the relationship then she is not going to take you seriously. If you get rejected because of this don’t lose confidence and show her something different.

Reason #5 She just not feeling it and she does not see you as an ideal partner.

Listen, we aren’t meant to be everyone’s cup of tea and if we build expectations to be everyone’s ideal partner, then we start to take personal offense to every rejection. If you let go of expectations then you will deliver more quality and abundance to the attraction stage and the relationship. Sometimes girls just don’t feel it. It’s the same for men, sometimes you just don’t feel it with a woman.

Reason #6 You are not forming an emotional connection.

You are not having any depth in the conversations and you do not form any other connection. No emotional connection and no physical connection. Women decide when they want to sleep with you or how they feel about you based on how you make them feel. Lucky for you I have an escalation cheat sheet and a manual of 20 questions to ask women to get to know her true self.

Reason #7 You’re just a friend!

You have not figured out how to master the dynamics when it comes to pursuing women. Women end up seeing men as a friend when he does not stick out from the other men. He doesn’t have his own opinion, he’s too nice, there is no challenge, and he is always doing everything the woman wants and not showing her that he is ok with her or ok without her. Basically, this happens when he is in demand and not confident with his purpose. If these ring a bell with you I highly encourage you to invest in my Friend Zone No More Product!

Should I ignore her after she rejected me

Here’s the thing, guys. There are plenty of scenarios where a woman will reject you and still try to get attention from you and you’re left thinking, “Should I ignore her?” If you’re in a situation where you guys work together or perhaps go to the same gym, you may not be able to ignore her, so the key here is to show her that you are not going to play her games! You have to show her that if she rejected you, you lost no sleep over it and you couldn’t really care less. This is the inner confidence that I talk about a lot! When a woman rejects you and you show her that you’re mad, hurt, or disappointed then you gave up your sense of control and no one can give their sense of control away unless they choose to. Listen, you may like this girl and think she’s perfect but if you want a chance with her, then you have to make sure you do not give up your sense of control and really master your attraction skills when it comes to trying to re-attract her.

Part of re-attraction is understanding that you are not attached to an outcome and we are not obsessing over one desire. Yes, I know that this can be painful to hear but this is the truth. When we start getting attached to someone then we are preventing our best selves from showing up. I want you to have the mindset that if it does not work out, then it is what it is. This is what will attract a woman back. You might be thinking… well, if I don’t pay attention to her she will go out and find another guy. My response is always then she didn’t really like you in the first place and you can’t make water and oil fit. Also, when people create distance, it’s natural to think about and want something that we do not have.

If any of these tips resonated with you, I encourage you to follow some of the tips that I have talked on how to move forward. Once this girl starts coming back, I want you to pace yourself and attract her back with the right traits that you can showcase since you have no expectations of a specific outcome. This woman will now see that she also has to work for something.

If this woman continues to reject you and you keep trying, then it’s time to stop and slowly move on when you are ready. Don’t continue to pour salt on a wound that isn’t healed if you know what I mean.

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti


  1. Muhammad atif

    Hi apollonia your blog was excellent, i have read it at the right time .when i was in btech 1st year i saw a beautiful girl in my college and we started seeing each other whenever we have seminar she would turn and see me atleast 20 times and even at the buses she used to gaze me .so one day she was overseeing me and my emotional feelings got that day i went and proposed her but she rejected me.i accepted it.all of a sudden she stopped seeing me and started ignoring me so i also pretended that i doesn’t really care.but after 2 months she started again seeing afterwards my feeling became so high that i couldn’t sleep .i was just thinking about her the whole i wrote a beautiful poem with the title “i love you” for her .each and every guy who read my poem loved i thought she will accept me .so i gave that poem to her but in return she replied ” your a fuckin creature ,what do you think about yourself” and much more .so i was breakdown to such extent that i went into depression and suffering from insomia bipolar i am in btech third year already geeting suicidal thoughts but that is not the issue she is again started seeing me.what should i do?


  2. Jeff

    All I can say sis Apollonia, another authentic blog! I just wish men can have abundant mindsets just like women.


  3. Richmond Selorm

    Thank u soo much Apollonia. U are a real Gem


  4. Steven T Howard

    Thanks,the article was very informative and helpful.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Steven,
      Thank you for reading my blog about she rejected me but still acts interested.

  5. Kennedy cllinton

    Hi Apollonia my name is Kennedy, I have been dating a girl for 4 years and she broke up with me and I accept but she keep on talking to me any time we meet in the church and also call me.after 3 weeks I ask her about what she said and she said she have move on but she still want to talk to me or call me because we always see in the same church. Please Apollonia what should I do.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Kennedy,
      I would not focus on an outcome with her and not be available too much for her at this moment. Just talk to her at church with no expectation for something in the future.

  6. Adam

    Thanks Apollonia, this blog couldn’t have come at a better time. I had been seeing this great girl for just over a month but things had gotten flaky. I’ve been following you for some time and knew the direction to go. This post reassured me I was making the right decision.
    Thanks again


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Adam,
      Awesome! This makes me happy that you feel guided. Stay true to yourself!

  7. Matt

    Hi, Apollonia,
    First many thanks for your very smart and useful advices I got via your YT channel (as I found it first). Hat down. Regarding this Article I can say I had right same situation where she has shown me some acceptance first but she never shown much attention later to me. I was always inviting her to meet, but she never did. She always had ready a fake excuse if she was not in the mood to meet me with no proposing next option to meet. 80% of my invitations were rejected. That made me mad. That lasted 4 months but I didn’t give up. We finally kissed and said we are together but in next days she was afraid to get more intimate with me so she cancelled my invitation before my trip. After that I wrote her a long letter I can’t be with her like that. She said to me she doesn’t know what she wants. One day to she wants to be a pair, next day she runs away of relationship. She proposed to meet more like friends to see how far we can come like that. I rejected Friend zone and she dumped me after the trip but still I wanted to meet her to see what is going on. She said we can meet but as friends only. She said to me at the end I was pushing in her too much and that this pushes her away from me. And if I can’t be just her friend to meet her, she doesn’t care and that I will find another girl easily. After that meeting I didn’t call her anymore and she the same not (1 month).


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Matt,
      Thanks for your comment and for reading my blog about she rejected me. Sorry, this happened but I would suggest taking this as a lesson. It seems like she had a big sense of control over the relationship and this has to be even. You may have been trying harder than her and this does not have to happen in relationships. I hope this blog helped and best of luck to you with everything! 🙂

    • Matt

      Hi, Apollonia. Thanks you for your reply and answer. Must admit that you are really big expert in many situations. I watched lot of your videos, some even several times that helped me a lot. Many, many thanks!! Let me say continuation of my story after 1,5 month of no contacts with her. I just met her yesterday on dancing floor. She approached me and we start talking as I wanted to present me as totally another person she known me before and to make her see what is she missing. So the biggest and the most valuable thing is to put the girl from pedestal lower below yourself – main thing! I acted like I don’t care for her but still being polite in conversation. I told her that I do many things what plans I have for the summer. I was far from my former neediness. So I acted like”girl if you want me, you’ll need to do something – actually I don’t need you”. We talked different common things for 20 min. After she wanted to go where her company sit she asked me if I would like to meet some day for a coffee exposing “like a friends”. 🙂 I just said to her, you can call me yes as I’ll not call you. She asked why? I said I don’t even have your phone number anymore as I deleted it. 🙂 I said you wanted a space as I was rushing in you so I gave you space moving myself away from you. And I added when you’ll be ready to meet me, you can invite me, sure. She was a bit confused what I mean and I just repeated of course you can invite me when you’ll be ready – as Apollonia teaches us 😉 And I felt like a winner last night!

    • Matt

      Continuation of story. After four days after meeting her since 1,5 month ago I’ve got a MSG from her saying: Hey it’s me, that you have my number again, now … How Apollonia’s advices worked like a charm as planned. 😉 So pedestal on OFF!! and then you go. 😉

    • Matt

      At the end happened all as what Apollonia said. Even after I moved away for 45 days she was curiuos what I was doing in that time. But that doesn’t mean she will like me. No, it was the same so the only thing is to move on and forget on her. 🙁

    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi William,
      Thank you for reading this blog. So glad you found it helpful. I’m glad you are here. Thank you for your support!

  8. Vaibhav Vijay Rawool

    Hi Apollonia you are a treasure. Your guidance always help. You are a saviour for lot of men. Heartfelt Gratitude.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Vaibhav,
      Thank you for your support and reading my blog about “she rejected me but still acts interested” I appreciate your comment and I’m glad you are here. So glad to hear that my blogs are helpful. Have a good day.

  9. Varshith

    Thank you


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Thank you for reading my blog about “she rejected me but still acts interested’” Appreciate your comment. 🙂

  10. Pablo Johnson

    Thankx for the delightful insights my Ladyfriend. I wish women would reject me more. Eye have developed my mind, mentality and physical demeanor & social etiquette so much, and will continue to do that attracting women from all cultures is unconsciously effortless! Because of the unique variety of high quality, intelligent, and career minded women that keep telling me they’re ready to compliment my existence is becoming increasingly difficult/ interesting to choose which one would be best at being a lifelong companion!! I guess my dilemma is the more i travel, the more i keep developing myself, the more financially independent i’ve become, the more solidified in my core values i live by, and knot caring about the trivial things about women because of the acute understanding of our human natures…The more abundance of awesome women have entered my life on a weekly basis!! And after entertaining sum because there is not enough time to entertain all them, and this has me dumbfounded. Because i choose not to have sex with them after periods of weeks, months,…the women, begin to buy gifts, take on travel trips, but won’t let me pay for anything, give me keys to houses, apartments and etcetera. Invitations to all their lady and family functions…So Coach from a womens perspective what does all this mean?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Pablo,
      Thanks for reading my blog about she rejected me but still acts interested. I believe it means these ladies are attracted to you! 🙂

  11. David judd

    Hi Apollonia. So far. Last year my wife 37 year passed away. May would be a year. I found a young girl by accident at doc office. We like each other. She did sting for me. I showed to much attachment she backed off. I have Ben reading your advice. This started in may. You on the mark. I have Ben following you keep it comming. Love it


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi David,
      Thank you so much! This means the world to me and I hope you find what you’re looking for in your journey. I’m always here to support!

  12. Gerald Franklin

    Thanks for sharing this information about how to handle my own mindset and emotions, whenever I’m in a relationship with a woman. Sure, I know how to talk to women during the “meet and greet”, beginning phase. And sometimes I’ve miss read her signs, through her words and body language. I’m not perfect, and have made plenty of mistakes in my dating life. I’ve been married, cheated on and divorced many years ago now. I’ve hurt other women feelings too. Even though being honest with myself and conveying who I am to women. Probably causes some issues between us. Is it possible I might come on as too intense whenever I’m dealing with a woman I like to know? You made some great points about, holding on to, my dignity, integrity, and also “I can live with you or without you attitude”. Whenever I’m involved with a woman who’s not willing to reciprocate what I’m looking for in a relationship. I’ve been dealing with such a woman like that for 12+ years now. She’s not innocent with her patterns of behavior towards me and with other men, which I know about. But she’s very quick to tell me about my failing her trust. Yet, she’ll contact me whenever the mood strikes her. Recently I told her, I will not longer tolerate her behavior towards me. And there’s no need for us to contact each other. You’re right when you say, that a man must stand his ground based on his own principles and not let anyone detour his progress towards becoming successful in life. There’s some areas in my life I truly need to focus on to achieve my goals. And have the great life I deserve. I also have my faith in God’s word and truly believe in His promises for me. I’m grateful to be learning how to gain more confidence and control of myself, by listening to your advice about how to really handle my own emotions when getting to know a woman’s ways. I know that things and situations are placed in front of me. To test my responses to them. I’m praying that I’ll get better at reading those signs in the future. God’s blessings are upon you! Peace


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Gerald,
      Thank you for sharing this beautiful message. Was so insightful and I’m sending you blessings as well. Thanks for reading my blog!

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About me

I work with YOU, men, to master your attraction skills and confidence in order to find the right partner or become an irresistible dater, Deepen your current relationship, or get out of the friend-zone!


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