Can Chemistry Be One-Sided | 10 Signs They Don’t Feel it For You!

You think she is beautiful and you’ve never experienced something like this before. Every time your lips touch or her body grazes yours, you feel something magnetic. It’s a feeling that you can’t describe and it makes you feel so alive. But wait… “Is she feeling the same way? I get mixed signals from her and I don’t know why. Shouldn’t she be feeling that same way about me?” So, the question I’d like to explore today is, “Can chemistry be one-sided?”

Are you feeling like you may need to work on your insecurities or neediness? My client Paul was dating a girl that he had chemistry with at first, but then he noticed he killed the connection because of his fears and neediness… until he invested in this audio seminar right here.

Men often come to me and ask, “Apollonia, what am I doing so wrong that this girl doesn’t like me?” I respond that 50% of the time, these men aren’t doing anything wrong. You know a lot of times we walk through life thinking, “Okay, since I like this person and I feel this connection with them, they feel the same way about me.” We find a woman and we have such an intense attraction for her, but maybe she doesn’t have the same attraction for you.

So let’s take a look at what’s going on here!

Can Only One Person Feel Chemistry: How Confusing It Can Be!

“What did I do wrong?” Well, first of all, if you didn’t come off needy, if you’re a confident man, if you didn’t become overbearing with her, if you weren’t disrespectful with her and you did all the right things but all of a sudden she just doesn’t like you, it doesn’t automatically mean that there’s something wrong with you. I want to be really clear about that. So many times we reflect on ourselves when something doesn’t go right in our lives, and this is not a healthy or productive way of being.

But in a relationship, if a woman is not into you, take a step back and ask yourself, “What did I do that I could have done better?” Again, if this you weren’t a needy man, you weren’t overbearing, you weren’t disrespectful, you come from a confident place and you feel like the chemistry is one-sided, then this means that the woman is probably not there yet or might not ever feel the same way you do.

I know how unpleasant that is to read, but the thing is, guys, that honesty and clarity are the things that will serve you most. The more clearly you see things, the easier it is to define the right plan of action.

In order for a relationship to be fulfilling, the emotions involved need to be reciprocated. Love cannot be forced. Dating is all about getting to know someone and finding out who this person is. As time goes on, yeah, we all get rejected. It sucks but it happens to everyone.

I’ve gotten rejected before in my life but that didn’t stop me from finding love. Now, chemistry can be one-sided because of the fact that we feel a specific way and I can apply this to two areas of our lives. And one area can be spiritual. Maybe you’ve crossed paths and maybe you believe in different aspects of life like different lifelines, different lives that you’ve lived, and things like that that have brought you two together. If you don’t believe in that stuff, hey, that’s okay too. More power to you. But this can come across to you as a very connected relationship because of the fact that there was so much chemistry for you and you’ve never experienced this with any other girl.

One-sided Romantic Chemistry Signs: 5 Signs You Have to be Aware of!


Sometimes we ignore the “red flags” but the key to healthy relationships is to see if both of you are aligned with the same values and are open to compromise if not. When the butterfly phases in a relationship go away, common values are what sustain lasting love. When you find a partner that lives purposefully just like you, you will be able to flourish in life together. What people tend to do in relationships is to ignore the red flags and then try to make it work or change someone.


That gut feeling when something just feels off. Never ignore it. It’s there in men and women. I know it’s talked about more in women, but men have this too.

Not talking about the future or making the relationship official:

If you’ve been dating someone for a while and your intent is to be with them and be committed, and they either don’t want to settle down or ignore talking about a relationship, then you have to really be cautious. The only one that will get hurt here, is you. Waiting around for someone is not always a good idea. They have to see the potential to lose you in order to feel the fear of losing you. Typically when people get comfortable in this situation, the other knows that they will always be around. So this can actually kill attraction because the other person has complete control.

Makes excuses and does not follow through:

They always have other priorities that don’t involve you, but time and time again you forgive this person just because you want to be with them and you care about them a lot. It’s important to understand that you have to come from a place of dignity and draw boundaries because if you allow someone to treat you like this you will easily feel neglected.

Has another agenda besides you:

Similar to the last tip but let’s just say you think you have “chemistry” with this person but she never saw you as anything else than a friend. Then it might be time to let go and figure out what you can do so this does not happen again with other women. I talk about this a lot in my Authentic Attraction Bootcamps.

Can Chemistry be One Sided: “I Feel It”

Generally speaking, if you really dissect why the chemistry was one-sided and you really get clear and open and honest with yourself, I can guarantee that there have been some red flags that you didn’t pay attention to. Maybe she just wasn’t respectful. Or maybe she was leaving you on the back burner and keeping plans, canceling plans, doing things last minute with you, not initiating and just keeping you around. Maybe it was for your attention, or so she could figure things out or maybe she just wanted you as a friend.

We put so much on one woman, on one relationship, and sometimes that’s not what you need to do. A woman that is going to appreciate you as a man will definitely pull through and feel that same chemistry, give you that connection and begin to reciprocate. And listen, just because it was this intense chemistry, in the beginning, it doesn’t mean it can’t eventually get there in a relationship with a woman.

Because a lot of times and I talk about this in one of my videos, there is a difference between lust and love to keep in mind. It is a feeling that we chase. We choose this high and this feeling of this chemistry and then we date another girl, and a month later we have chemistry, but it wasn’t as intense when we start comparing. And then we say, “This isn’t the right one for us.” But in all actuality, this lack of chemistry and passion you think you’re feeling is because of the fact that you’re pacing yourself and things feel normal. And it’s not on this high where you’re always going, going, going and trying to get and chase her, and she just takes a step back and says, “No. I’m canceling today.”

And then it just entices you even more because you want to find out the why but the truth is that it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you continue to put yourself first. Have the right conversations with women. You initiate at times of course, especially in the beginning. Whatever you feel you want to do. But if the woman is not reciprocating, is not texting you back, is not calling you back, is not telling you she has a good time, and your values are not aligned, then my question to you is, why are you continuing to date these types of women?

So yes, chemistry can be one-sided, and it is up to you to pinpoint the patterns in your life so that you can set yourself up for meeting the right person with whom you can build something solid.

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book.

To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. Say it again! And one you pull away they come chasing you because they know you will come back. Once they see you got you back things go back o normal to where they act their usual self. If they really cared your wouldn’t have to play this game of tug of war it’s not healthy and it’s not stable.Don’t stand for one sided love because it’s not worth it! Apollonia you know I’ve been stuck in this situation for a while and the longer you stay the longer you make yourself unavailable to someone who will reciprocate what. MOVE ON GUYS

  2. Malcolm,

    Your comment on this is exactly right. I am dealing with that right now and I have been starting to pull away because I feel like my feelings are seldom recipricated. I play hard to get, she hasn’t responded. I’ve been distant, she hasn’t responded. Which basically tells me that she either doesn’t know what she wants or is just playing games.

  3. I just want to know that what happen when a girl allows you to touch her body but still she calls you a friend .what is the chemistry behind their or what is going on on her mind

  4. I am having similar issues at the office. Girl initiated everything at the beginning and admitted being single at some point. Two months down the line, she starts to pull away and send mixed signals. When I communicated clearly about this attitude she begged me not to walk away from her as she was having some dual personality issues. She did come back afterward but only just a part of her. And as things will happen, on one of our conversations she finally admits that she’s actually been in a relationship for a year. Wow! How did she lead me on into believing we could end up being something?
    I have pulled away completely and cut all forms of communication. Now act like I don’t see her when we cross paths at the office. It’s all I can do now to regain some dignity.

  5. Yeah it happens in a situation where I initiated everything and then she wants to only give me only a little bit of her time whenever she feels like it. I put up with this for one year then I walked away found someone real and got married. Now she saying that I got married on her and trying to see me in secret but i declined. She still trying now but i am so over her

  6. Great Blog Appollonia. One of the best dating lessons, reciprocating. Reciprocating. Humbled to learn this from a woman of substance. Thanks Appollonia, No reciprocation, or a dismissive flake, it’s bye, bye and good searching! I’m complete as is, next..

  7. I don’t understand this girl-we we’re doing long distance, been awhile since I’ve seen her- she’s like what if it’s not the same again before I come, and then when I come she loses her virginity to me. Then, one day she’ll be talking about sex with me, then the next day she acts different lol

    1. Hi Neil,
      It seems like immaturity and she might be very young. Hope this blog helped and thanks for reading this blog about can chemistry be one-sided.

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