So you’ve most likely found yourself reading this article because of one of the following reasons. You are with someone right now and you want to make sure you know how to keep a relationship interesting. You’ve experienced the loss of a spark in a previous relationship, or you want to know how to keep a relationship interesting because your current partner seems to be losing interest, or perhaps you might be feeling like you’re the one losing interest in this relationship!
Let me be clear about what you are going to get in this article. You are going to get real advice on why this happens in relationships and you will understand how to change your behavior and fix recurring patterns. I am also going to give you some insight on why women lose interest. Since I’m a woman myself, I know how we think!
On top of receiving all of this juicy information, I am also going to give you 10 tips on things to do to add the spark back into your relationship.
As you know, I always welcome your comments. This is a place where I can answer your questions about something you are going through related to what you’re reading today, so don’t hesitate to leave your questions in the comments section below. It would be my pleasure to personally respond to you!
How to keep a relationship exciting!
More often than not, a relationship might be losing the excitement because you are with each other a lot and spend every moment together. Perhaps you live together, which also changes the whole dynamic of the relationship. The feeling of being excited to see each other and thinking about that person all the time while giving you butterflies has gone away.
I like to call this the “schoolboy or school girl” phase of the relationship – When you are just head over heels about each other and want to spend time together and you just love each other so much! You might still want to spend time together and still love each other now, but that all-encompassing excitement is just not there anymore. Which by the way is not meant to be there 24/7 in the relationship. Let’s just say the woman you are with just lost a little interest in you and has either told you explicitly, or her actions are showing that it’s time for a minor adjustment in order to keep things exciting.
The thing that keeps relationships exciting when the schoolgirl phase is over is mystery! You’re probably thinking, “What? Mystery? I’m not into playing games!” No, that’s not what I mean. Here is the thing. I am not telling you to not text her back and be secretive about what you do after work or on your guy’s nights out. If you do that then you might be headed down another path that I want us to avoid. So mystery does not mean hiding your phone and secrecy is not a good way to keep your relationship exciting.
I am talking about flirting with her and not rolling over and accepting this situation. Think about doing something at home that sparks your interest like a new project in the garage. Just start working on it without her having to know.
Or, let’s say you like to cook. Just cook by yourself and have a glass of wine and then see if she joins you. Show her that you are into your time alone, and this creates a little bit of separation. With separation comes mystery. You will introduce new excitement because you are changing the pace of how you regularly do things.
When you’re thinking about how to keep a relationship fresh, another idea is to take a salsa class by yourself. Show some more independence and with independence comes mystery, which naturally turns anyone on! This is what I mean by mystery. Change the pace of how you normally do things! Create a healthy separation to get your partner wondering what’s going on. When she brings it up, just tell her you to enjoy doing these things. This is when a woman will recognize that you’re giving attention to something else – especially if she’s gotten used to getting a lot of attention in the relationship. This creates attraction and shows that you have a life of your own.
Yes, a woman wants to have your attention but we don’t want you to give up 100% of your life for us. But, if lack of attention is an issue in your relationship and that’s why you are losing the spark, then that’s a whole different ball game that I will go over below.
How to keep a relationship interesting if you lost the spark.
You can find yourself in a relationship that is less interesting if neither of you put in the time, attention, affection, and communication a relationship requires. This might be a two-sided story or might be one-sided, but when these things are not being met, you can easily lose the spark in the relationship. If you lack any of this in your relationship it makes you feel unimportant, disconnected and just confused. If a relationship stops growing and there is no novelty or spontaneity, you could get bored. I mean let’s be honest. It’s not every night and every year of your relationship that are you going to find yourself having wild sex throwing each other against the walls, yelling from the top of your lungs give me more!
Now that you are out of that imaginary mind frame of how things used to be, let’s work on bringing some of that excitement back. But before we do, I want to be very clear about committing to the tips that can help you below. If your partner has completely shut you off and she is ignoring you, then it might be a time where space is needed in the relationship.
In order to have a healthy relationship and keep a relationship exciting, you have to learn how to grow from your shortcomings, but if your partner is not willing to grow then space might be needed until they end up taking the steps to initiate change in the relationship. You cannot force this and there is nothing you can do to control this. You can master what attracts women but if the woman you are with now is not interested in being with you and is not giving you the time of day, the most powerful thing you can do to heal your relationship might be the hardest thing… and that’s to walk away if you’ve given it your all and the other is not reciprocating.
Don’t worry though – you can get the spark back no matter what situation you’re facing today. Ultimately it might be you needing time or space or it might just be that you need to try new things. I know that each relationship is unique, but it’s important I address the specific situation that you are going through and make it clear that these things can work. So if you are not emotionally available in your relationship I encourage you to do so now. It’s not uncommon for people to fall out of love with each other, especially after years of being together, but it does not mean that you cannot get this love back!
It’s important to prioritize yourself and the evolution of your relationship now, so focusing on your well being and revamping the relationship is key.
10 Tips on how to be more interesting in a relationship.
Be playful: Play fun games at home like board games or card games. Don’t just turn on the TV every night. Switch things up on some weekdays. Tickle each other and this might sound funny, but play hide and seek and try to pop in and scare each other. Put on some music, have a glass of wine and just dance. Often times it’s the little things that keep a relationship interesting.
Roleplay: This also might sound silly but it brings so much humor when you do this. Roleplay and switch places for the night. In other words, you can be her and she can be you. Do this maybe for a good hour or two. You will share so many laughs but also it can be a reflection of how your partner perceives you. It can actually give you an idea of the things you can adjust.
Do activities on your own: Join a group that you want to be involved with, or start something that you’ve been wanting to do for a long time. Think about learning salsa, or public speaking. Get involved in things that will make you push your limits and challenge yourself.
Do new things together: Take each other to do different things like riding in bumper cars, bowling, skiing, sporting events, or indoor skydiving. There are so many activities that you can both share and experience together. I’ve done laser tag and that was so much fun! Incorporate these new things into your date nights once a month or every other month.
Take a couple days away from each other: Give yourselves the opportunity to miss each other again. If that means going to spend time with the family or going on a weekend trip alone, then do it! You want to create some space for both of you to miss each other.
Re-engage in new communication: Ask questions and listen. How are you miscommunicating with each other right now? What makes her glow with happiness? What makes her feel good? Listen to the things that light her up and remember them. Use them in your day to day interaction with her as she will voice what’s important to her.
Start working out again: We sometimes get that extra few pounds of relationship weight. Now it’s time to get that body back again and even if you never had it before, getting physically active helps with attraction. Get back in the gym and you’ll feel a shift. It improves your sex life and in a couple months, you might just be having the sex you once used to have together. Trust me on this!
Change your style: What’s your wardrobe like? The way you present yourself plays a huge role in attraction. When she puts on a sexy dress you look at her differently, right? Well, how do you want her to look at you? Maybe not a sexy dress but definitely think about a nice collared shirt and slacks on date night. Don’t let yourself go because physical appearance is so important in your relationship!
Challenge each other to protect the relationship against routines: If every night you have dinner at 7 pm and at 8 you sit on the couch and watch TV till bedtime, it’s time to change this. Challenge yourself to break a routine every once in a while and do something else at home.
Reinvent your sex life: Changing your habits and putting your best foot forward will improve your sex life. Sex relieves frustration and releases hormones that make you feel closeness in your relationship and it, of course, keeps a relationship interesting. Consider buying a kama sutra book and working on new positions that you both want to try. Talk about the things that both of you want and what you want to experience together.
Keep the relationship exciting with these final thoughts.
Listen, a lot of people fall in love with the idea of being in love all the time. This is what breaks a lot of trust and expectations in relationships. Remember the man that you were that she fell in love with and become that man once again.
You can become a better man by always working towards your goals and the best possible vision of who you truly want to be. There are so many couples that experience this daily, and the most important thing is to look at this as an exciting challenge. We cannot learn if we are never challenged, right? So, see how you can take this opportunity to work with each other to turn this around and how you can change for the better throughout the process. I know it can be easier said than done, but nothing worthwhile in life is easy. That’s why everything requires work! When you work for it, it’s so much more gratifying at the end.
I look forward to hearing from you in the comments below. If you find yourself going through this right now and want tailored advice on your current situation on how to turn your relationship around and get the spark back, then I highly encourage you to book a private coaching session with me.
I have faith that you can have the relationship you’ve imagined, and I want you to have that same faith!