What Is A Real Woman & How To Find One!

Now more than ever, men are asking what the definition of a real woman is today. The confusion lies between men and women as the woman has been able to take more of a masculine role in today’s society. Women have become more independent than ever and the masculine man is left feeling that he may have to sit back and let the woman dominate the relationship and lead the way. In general, this is not actually how men and women end up working the best together. I start this blog saying this because I know this is a popular topic, but I also know there are a lot of women out there looking for a great man. They know how to appreciate a man and this is where the man comes in. In life, everyone can attract unhealthy relationships but it’s all about how good you get at saying “bye” to the wrong ones and good you get at saying “hello” to the right ones.s is why it’s so important for men to learn the answer to “What is a real woman!”

My advice comes from years of experience talking to men and women and coaching hundreds of people. This world is so confused when it comes to love and my job is to make it as simple as possible for those of you that are reading this right now. Please don’t hesitate to leave your questions in the comments section before and I will personally reply to you.

3 Personality Traits of A Real Woman:

Let’s take a look at the list of ten signs that you’ve got a real woman in front of you!

A real woman is compassionate!

She’s a woman that’s open and honest. She is typically open with you from the beginning of your relationship when get to know her. She has a loyal sense of compassion for herself and other people.


a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

She’s going to be open and honest with you. You’ll notice that there may be some women out there who don’t give you the time of day, but there will also be some women that see things 50/50 and ask…”Hey, let’s go meet up for coffee.”

Real women who know what they want can lead from time to time when pursuing you. She can have a mature foundational conversation with you. It could be about her life, but about also what she is looking for in life and love. She might come off strong or an “alpha woman”, but at the same time, maturity sets in and you’ll notice that she’ll respect you enough to not play games.  

Signs of a real woman: She’s Emotionally Stable!

She’s probably had a time in her life where she went after the wrong men and now has learned what she does not want. She might be saying things like…”I’ve had enough of these games. I’m going to do things differently, and I’m just going to be honest in my communication,” and she showcases her personal values to a man.

This comes from self-worth, and sense of pride and dignity. You know when you see a confident woman by the way she carries herself. Then you might say to yourself, “Wow, I’m intrigued!” The same thing happens for a woman when she sees a confident man.

Real women have mastered their femininity towards men.

She may be an independent woman or she might be somewhat submissive, and that is fine too because there are a lot of different types of women that are okay with who they are. This comes down to culture, how they were raised, past relationships, and what they feel like works for them. Every woman is different in their own way, just like men. It’s just about finding the woman that matches who you are, and what you are attracted to. A real woman knows her power, knows her strength, that she is able to communicate that to you, and she is okay with pursuing you. She is okay with opening up about herself and her intentions, and things like that.

The reason I bring up these two types of women is that a woman who has mastered her feminine energy understands the importance of what a man can bring to the relationship (just like the man understands how much a woman can bring to the relationship). She does not have to be entirely independent all the time. She shuts it off so she can work towards interdependence. She does have her submissive tendencies at times but she is opinionated and open about what she wants. Real women don’t allow a man to take advantage of this.

The Definition of A Real Woman In A relationship.

In addition to some of the tips I shared with you above, the true definition of a “real woman” is someone who knows that she can bring a sense of security to the relationship as well. She offers the man something he isn’t willing to lose. She makes him a better person and he continues to contribute the same things to her.

A woman that is not a real woman won’t support you during the times of hardship that you have no control over. Example: You don’t have control over losing someone special. If you become vulnerable and cry, and then all of a sudden this woman does not support you and is turned off by this, well… then she is living in fantasy land.

A woman is supposed to step up in the times her loved one is in need,  just like a man should too. That’s why it’s vital to get clear with our intentions moving forward with women.

As much as you think that they’re not, they really are. I see it and talk to them every single day. It’s just about getting clear about your intentions and moving forward. When a woman does not show up when you need support, then it shows that you may not receive the support you want from her in the future.

I encourage you to seek a woman that is okay with you and your vulnerability. Now I am not talking about neediness and insecurities: I mean the vulnerability of when you need the rock to support you. Can she be that woman for you?

What makes a real woman sexually?

When it comes to intimacy, a real woman is going to be open, and she is going to want to reciprocate. She’s also going to want to receive, and she’s going to be open with you about her expectations. Real women are going to want to build that emotional connection with you in addition to  the physical one. She is going to want to please you just as much she wants you to please her. Don’t forget, women love that too!

That is a big thing with relationships and with women in general. We forget what it takes to not only satisfy our partner, but how the both of you can work towards satisfying each other. A real woman is going to want to know how she can make her man happy in the bedroom, but this will gradually fade away if you don’t pay attention to her needs as well. To satisfy not only yourself, is to satisfy your partner.

Most importantly to her, there needs to be communication and vulnerability. Both of you need to be open enough to communicate what you want from each other – and not only sexually. Make sure that both of you are comfortable enough, especially when it comes to trusting her to show your vulnerability. I say this because so many women aren’t prepared for a man’s vulnerability and if she’s not, she’s not a real woman.

Some may think that because he’s a man, he has to be strong, and he has to hold it together all the time. If he cries, that means he’s weak and she won’t be attracted to him. In no means am I saying you have to cry at everything, but when you have no control over life situations or when something unexpected happens, it is normal to need support. A woman who is real will be able to provide you with that support.

The most important part of this whole blog is that it takes time to get to know someone. In today’s day and age, most of us are focusing on what people offer us on the outside, so we rush into things and we create a story about how she is so perfect… When you barely know the woman who is standing in front of you.

Your coach,


Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com. She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book.To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. Hi Apollonia, I have watched a few of your YouTube videos and I am impressed with the info that you share. Thank you! I have just left my wife of 28 years because she cheated. Not once but many times over many years. I would love to be in love again but I have some serious health issues therefore I cannot allow anyone to get close to me. I cannot do that to anyone and claim that I love them, right? I am happy to see that there is help for men with women and I do appreciate your cause. Good luck in all your endeavors.
    Thanks! Paul

  2. Hi Apollonia. I hope you’re doing well.

    I’ve been following your YouTube videos for a couple weeks now and you have given me such an insight on how to better understand women and also myself. This post is great, thank you!

    I was in a relationship last year, which is well and truly over now, and I began searching for relationship advice and eventually stumbled across your work. Out of all the people who give dating advice I was drawn to yours the most.

    At this stage I’m taking some time to myself but you may well be my coach in the near future when I’m ready to start dating again.

    Thanks again Apollonia, your work has been invaluable. You have a new follower 🙂

  3. Great advice, I have a problem of always finding women who need fixing, and normally highly strung. This has always lead to a one way street in the relationship. I’ve just found out that it’s really me that needs fixing and finding a real woman that reciprocates is the way forward. We all have issues but with a real woman you can and will get through them together.
    Thank you.

  4. Hey A P
    What is the age of a real woman? I am 55 very busy find myself more attracted to the opposite sex that are in their mid 20s to early 40s. Would better be a certain way that I would have to go about to make this happen ?

  5. Thank you Apollonia Pinto for the good work. I have enjoyed reading the above submission on who is a real woman.

    I look forward to your next coaching.

  6. I’m 65 and healthy work two high end jobs and have every weekend off from both. She just turned 60 and has had a number of health issues over the years but nothing that would prevent us from becoming intimate. I’m extremely sexual and she is not. It wasn’t always like this. I get 6 vacations a year from both jobs at this time and yes money can be tight from time to time but we do save and all bills are paid on time. We just have no sex or how was your day or touching or anything. Been married to her for 32 years in Sept. Help!!!!

    1. First mistake you make is to have intercourse as main purpose, orgasm is not the goal. Goal is to be inventive, talk to er arouse her with words, touching, be inventive not the usual pre middle and after. Variety of doing things, don’t go just for having penetration. Cuddle, flirt with her, have intimacy, intimacy is more than just itercourse. Create tension with words, say how much you like wat she wears does. Listen to her when she talks, don’t force or push things! Be patient and have an open understanding view towards your wife. Having healthissues is no fun, be her lover, friend, and flirt with her.When you lose someone you will know what that does mean.

  7. Indeed ???? Apollonian this Eye ???? opening for me. Very well Researched and factual information, with evidence, i have shared it with my friends who are searching for real women

  8. I know a girl who seems to fit this description.but it may also just be my interest in her projecting those values on to her .

    She is not the kind of girl I ever thought I could have.(way out of my league)
    But she also is the type of girl I would like to date.

    Any advice?

    1. No woman is out of your league!Bringing yourself down is the most stupid thing a person can do. She is just human, putting a woman on a pedestal won’t make it better for you on the contrary, the sooner you understand this the better. Women and men should be on the same level i.e we all bleed when we cut our finger, she goes to toilet etc. You dig it? A woman is not something that fills the jigsaw puzzle she is an enrichment to you and you to her.

  9. Only Real Woman can bring it down to what a Real Woman is, Apollonia. Your blog summarizes my thoughts, and reveals even more unknown. We’ll meet one time….

  10. Good Day, AP

    Got good news! I’ve completed the “35 Rules … (Relationship)” book. Great investment. Number 12 was really an eye opener, as they all were. It’s true there is definitely a correlation between the way a person is raised and what he or she wants when it comes to love. I’m sure you get my point.

    I want to be perfectly clear about one thing. I know what a Real Woman should bring to the table. The fact that I’ve decided to seek out what I felt would enrich my relationship technique(s) in terms of keeping the PASSION ALIVE just didn’t rest well in her perspective.

    I know my lady. She will get over it. She feels I shouldn’t get any advice from another “Real Woman”. INTERESTING!!!


    “You are always Loved”

    1. I foundon’t the article on how to identify a good women on point.there are ideas I have thought about myself when looking nowadays.
      You are intune.


    2. Hi Louis,
      Well, when she sees some great changes or passion I’m sure she won’t complain. I appreciate you taking the time to invest and read this blog. Wishing you and your partner the absolute best!

  11. Knowledge is power, you are giving us comforting insight to having this ideal woman. But here again finding the one to open up in 2019. I am where they are not stepping up to the plate. I am hearing on dates, that I am that ideal man. Please Help me find her………

  12. Hi Alric,
    Well, you have to look at you getting back your right leg as a sense of power instead of lack. There are so many people that run marathons and have the lives they have always dreamt of. Remember, the key here is never to come from a place of lack just because you may see yourself as different or any other way. The way you see yourself will be the way you will let others project onto you. Come from a place of abundance, not scarcity or lack. You got this!

  13. Hey Apollonia,

    My name is Christopher,everyone calls me Chris O. Very listening to ur latest vdeos on YouTube, talk about point on point,, sometimes I’m surprised by your truth,and sometimes truly amazed at your honesty, it’s as if your reading my mind, without permission, you hit on aoen key factors,and issues Im dealing with right now.

    I’m 54 years of age ,I. Single I’m a foster parent for the last 21 years, I. I’m in Recovery with 4and a half years, I own my own home,I pay my bills, and I do a lot of reading ,and now writing, and feel those feelings you talk about, low self esteem,low self worth, believing there’s no one out there for me,I done so much wrong to women I’m cursed. But yet I still long to be loved ? I cringe when I see couples together,and turn the channel when I see romantic comedy come on ,or sowing of affection, iust feel left out.
    I kind of call it ,My pcker’s broke syndrome to finding women,or just settling for who ever?? I’ve been told,or suggested to not get into any relationships,until after a year,but i got 4 1/2 and still I keep coming up short, either I get put n the friend zone u tal about, because of trying to be the right guy, or it cost me,because not reading the signs,,,,
    let me tell you a hopefully quick story, ts true and happens in November of last year. I liked this women named Kaegan, She’s never been to a Convention before ,see wanted go,so would like to go with me, and she sad yes, we went. Got the room,for four days, took care of transportation ,pretty much everything,and we get there, and before we could get settled in our room. She other plans that didnt know about and went with this other dude ,for the rest of the Convention Friday night didn’t come back to the room, I was humbled , humiliated,and hurt,but I couldn’t show,as if to keep her from seeng that it bothered me,but it did. When Sunday came we drove home, couldn’t believe how reserved I stayed ,and when I dropped her off, I pretty much swore too Jesus, that I wouldn’t let that happen to me ever again in life. Until I saw ur first video accidentally looking for something else, been hooked ever since. Ur a blessing ???????? for bringing the class that I missed in highschool and college. Thanks Chris O.

  14. Hello Appoolonia, You always gave me the right information, like this. How you learned these many things? I am 100 % sure your relationship advice works for those who read it carefully and understand it.

  15. I found this blog very great, full of ideas and answers to questions I have been asking myself at times.

    Apollonia, I have dated a girl for two years now and along the line our conversations got boring because whenever I try to engage she doesn’t reciprocate. It seems nothing interest her in life, she sent me a text last week that she wants us to breakup so she find out what makes her happy, and if she’s ready to get into a relationship and am still single she will let me know. My problem is I deeply love her and I have doubts if she will be back to me.

    Thank you.

    1. Hi Sanjay,
      Thanks for reading my blog about what is a real woman. The thing I would ask yourself is why are you falling for someone who does not want to be with you? There is a lot of control it seems like this woman has over you and I would encourage you to sit back and try new things in your life. Work on your self-confidence where she will be attracted to this. When you move on and show her you are enough by simply being happy without her it will bring her back. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence

  16. HI Apollonia:

    I hope you are doing well. I recently texted a former female coworker I was interested in! She stated it was ” So good to get a text from me.” Before this, I have not had contacted her in a month. She gladly volunteered to write a letter of recommendation for me, immediately! She said she would be willing to do this for me. She also mentioned that I might ask a former male coworker we use to work with for a letter. She use to kind of flirt with him a little bit. She said he still contacts her about every 3 weeks through Facebook. Do you think she might be interested in me or she is just putting me in the friend zone by telling me this guy still contacts her? Should I just stay away and let it go!

    1. Thank you! for your response.

      I will consider getting a coaching session from you.

      Have a great month of April.


  17. Hi Apollonia – women (“real” or other) want to be approached by men *they* find attractive – which automatically excludes guys like me. If real women show their authentic feelings to guys they like, I guess no ‘real’ woman has ever been attracted to me because no woman has ever given any signs whatsoever. And I will not express my feelings of interest in a woman I’m attracted to without a clear signal from her first because I refuse to put myself in a position where I could lose everything as a result of a false accusation.

  18. How Does A Woman Supposed To Feel When The Person That’s She’s In A Relationship With Always Happens To Bring Up The Things That She’s Did In The Pass? Another Thing Is It Ever To Late To Tell The Man That Your With Your Whole Life Store If You Didn’t Tell Him At The Beginning Of The Relationship?

  19. Hello! I am new here
    I am a 26 year old woman and I’m in a serious relationship with my partner so I need help. He says I am everything that he needs but I lack some important things that will make me complete. He says I am selfish at times and I’m always demanding and I should research more about the responsibilities and roles of a woman. Can you please help me with that?

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