How To Trust Women: 3 Real Life Transformational Tips!

I’ve worked with men for over ten years and a lot of the times they tell me they don’t trust women and then ask me how to trust women. I’ve encountered many betrayed relationships, separations, divorces and just plain horrible done wrong to so many men. In this article, I am going to help you make sense of all these emotions you might be going through right now and how to eventually turn this around. You’ve landed here because you’ve suffered from heartbreak, or you have in the past. You might just be wanting to try and spread your wings again or just understand if you can even trust women again. My hope is to help you become more powerful then you are now after reading this blog and possibly overcome any bitterness in order to open up your heart again and learn how to trust women.

I love hearing from you so please feel free to comment below if you have any questions, concerns, or need any advice on how to move forward.

Can you trust a woman?

Okay, let’s be honest, men, there are some women out there that we cannot trust, and I will be the first one to tell you to not date these women. But there are women out there that you can trust, but this is the key: you have to be grounded in order to understand how to communicate properly to a woman, how to build confidence through dating, and relationships so you can form that boundary with a woman but also show her the type of man that you are and what you will and will not tolerate. This is so important!

“Apollonia, I am currently facing this situation with women, is that I see women are all alike. They can’t make me happy, I can’t trust them, I feel they pretend to be some they aren’t a lot, and they hide a lot of other current relationships that they have going on at the same time while you’re trying to give them attention. I just don’t trust women anymore.”

When you’re confident and when you hold your own and you hold value within yourself, you have no problem communicating what is right and what is wrong for you when you’re attracting a woman. Meaning, she’s given you red flags. Maybe she’s canceling a date on you or maybe she has not returned a message in days, or maybe you caught her in a lie. There are so many things that could happen but the important notion not to forget is to own up to those red flags and not lose sight of them. Your self-dignity is the #1 thing that makes you valuable. Own up to that and you’ll walk away from those situations and have her come back to you.

So many times, we ignore these red flags, and this is why you get in these situations of dating women that you just can’t trust. It’s because you haven’t gotten good at mastering what it takes to really form that healthy balance of a connection with a woman. This is so important because if you find yourself here it means that you just don’t know how to take control of your own dating life, and finding those women that are out there.

How To Learn To Trust Again: 3 Real Life Transformation Tips.

Tip #1 You’re Playing The Victim: The first point I want to point out when you are getting over heartbreak or want to date again and still not sure you can trust women is you have to let go of that victim stage, that victim mentality. No woman likes a man that’s playing the victim role. It shows a huge lack of insecurity, it shows a huge lack of self-doubt, and you have to have the self-worth to know yourself as a man. When you know your self-worth women will be attracted to you more and you will understand how to attract quality good women into your life. The same thing goes for women. You respect a woman more when she values herself as an individual. When things slide left then you have to slide right by setting the tone, setting the boundaries and putting forth the action of communicating things that you don’t like or agree with. If you continue to tell yourself that all women out there are not trustworthy, then you are still in victim mentality, and you need to let go of the victim mentality in order to move on. Because mindset shifts everything, it’s an energetic thing, and you’re going to continue to attract those women. If you believe that there are no good women out there, then you’re going to attract the no-good women. I’ve seen it firsthand. I’ve worked with thousands of men that have come to me and said, “Apollonia, I just don’t trust women, and I’ve suffered from so much heartbreak and I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, and I don’t know if I can ever trust women again.” As soon as they work with me, they see the patterns that they’ve held onto in their life to attract these women, and now, once and for all, understand what they were doing wrong in their relationships.

Tip #2 You’ve Ignored Red Flags: By doing this you are doing yourself a dissatisfaction. When you have a beautiful woman in front of you, you might have a pattern of being all goo-goo eyed about this beautiful woman in front of you or a girl that you really like, and you tend to ignore the red flags or the behaviors that she shows you. It doesn’t matter how good this woman is, how beautiful this woman is, remember, you deserve the best physically and mentally. At the end of the day, this is no competition. You cannot put someone else’s value in front of your value, so you have to hold your own. If you are not seeing eye to eye, and you are seeing that there are some bad behaviors, then you need to call it out, and you need to move on quickly if there is no change. If you observe unhealthy patterns and you ignore them, then this is why you continue to have these failed relationships. This is why you don’t trust, it’s because at the end of the day you can’t trust yourself.

Tip #3 You Are The Driver of Your Life: No more excuses like, “Oh, there’s only women out there that just want your money,” and this and this … No. I’m gonna be honest, men, I know so many beautiful, beautiful women that have gone to college, that have done things, I have an impressive foundation of friends and also a beautiful foundation of women that I’ve coached, and also have done conferences in, meet live, talked to one on one. There are more women out there that want a man that is stable, confident, and goes after his dreams than make millions of “bookoo” dollars to give them a lifestyle that ends up fizzling away because they’re gonna end up being unhappy. Let’s be honest, men, that is just an excuse of what you’re hiding behind. If you think that women only want you for your money, you are wrong, and let me be honest, honey, you are dating the wrong people. This is just a wall that you’ve built up because of things that have happened in your past. You’re still being in victim mode, and you’re still having the outlook that there are no good women out there. And if you continue to have that outlook, you are going to attract that because your energy shows that, so you’re gonna attract it. That’s why it’s so difficult for you to date. That’s why it’s so difficult for you to trust, and that’s why you continue to get your heart broken. And let’s just say, you might have gotten your heart broken a couple times where you’ve just given up on dating, and now you’re just pointing fingers at women and saying they’re horrible women. There are awful women out there. But there’s not, that’s all you want to see.

Tip #4 Forgive and Let Go: I wrote a blog about how to let go, and I really advise you to read that blog after this video, I’ll put that link in the description box because I give you a step-by-step process of how to let go and forgive your failed relationships. You have to forgive your past relationships and the women that have shown up in your life to move on. It doesn’t mean that you have to be face to face with them and say, “I forgive you,” but internally you have to let go. You have to let go of the hurt, the anger, the mistrust, whatever it is that lead you currently do not trust that woman now is something that you have to work on to let go because if you do not let go of this energy, you will continue to attract this energy. At the end of the day, you want a woman that you sexually desire, that brings you up, that motivates you, and has the confidence to show you the woman that she wants to be for you. This is a woman who values you, someone who cherishes you, and someone you can build a foundation with, and someone that is going to love you for who you are, right?

Get Your Overcome Insecurities, Fears, and Attachment Audio Seminar: Here 

Never Trust Women: 9 Tips Why You Can Start Trusting Again

#1 Know what you want:

You have to really take the time to sit with yourself and identify the qualities and values that you want in a woman. Determine what the deal breakers are and what are not. This will help you become conscious of your relationships and help you spot out red flags.

#2 Look for examples of other trustworthy women in your life:

You can take the time and opportunity to see things differently. Not every woman is a woman you can’t trust. If you have a woman in your life that is trustworthy focus more on that as this is huge when it comes to the law of attraction.

#3 Take the time to heal and don’t rush a heavy heart:

If you feel as though you need more time to get over another relationship or some past incidences that have happened to you, then take the time to heal. Your reading this blog so you’re taking steps on growing and getting to the place you need to be to let love enter again.

#4 Know that you are not alone:

The best thing about life is we all experience things the same way but at different times in life. You are not the only one who has suffered from mistrust or been mislead so understand that you aren’t alone and you can finally trust women again when you’re ready.

#5 Look at the bigger picture:

Does being along sound better to you or do you want to have love in your life? If you’re going to be alone for the rest of your life, then that’s ok. But if you want to be in a relationship and in love, it’s time to focus on the bigger picture.

#6 Work on Self Improvement:

Read books, listen to a podcast, and join a community that makes your soul thrive.

#7 Forgive yourself:

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Don’t self-sabotage yourself and say that “you deserve this” or “you were stupid not to see this” or “you are not good enough.” These are all poor behaviors, and you have to work on forgiving yourself and others. Forgiving others is what helps you move forward. Forgiveness is something you do for yourself.

#8 Ask the right questions:

This is where you can identify red flags early on. Being honest and upfront with what you want can come of value to a woman who deserves your honesty. Don’t be ashamed to take your time to feel things out. I made another blog about first date conversations that you should check out.

#9 Trust yourself:

You have all the answers you need! Have pride and confidence in that!

How to Trust Women After Being Betrayed: How to Learn to Trust Again!

Being betrayed never feels good. But we do not have control of other people’s behaviors, but we do have control of our reality. If you choose to stay stuck, then you’re going to create your own reality of suffering and ultimately not be happy if you decide to not move forward into more positive emotions. You become the better man.

Let me give you a head start. Believe that trustworthy women are out there and you will find one. Once you feel that you deserve one 100%, you will receive it. If you haven’t seen them, it’s because you haven’t changed your mindset. You have to change your mindset, and you have to adapt to seeing behaviors, patterns, red flags, and understand that you have the power to attract what it is that you want as a man. If you struggle with this, I encourage you to book a one-on-one session with me so I can get to the bottom of this with you to help you attract that woman that you desire and stop messing with these phony women, or messing with these non-satisfying relationships, and really get to your desired goal once and for all.

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships. You can find her expert advice on “ihow to trust women”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. Well, it’s kind of hard to trust women when most women consider guys to be useless. Thus, dating is nothing but an exercise in guaranteed futility.

  2. Apollonia, I disagree again. One need look no further than the runaway feminism and #metoo hate mongering that spread the clear message that men are no good in the minds of most women. Then after all that, women want to ask where the good men are. Thus, meeting women is 100 percent risk and zero percent reward.

    1. Hi Mickey,
      I understand the frustrations a lot of men have with this movement. I am not an advocate for any but I am an advocate for women to be heard that HAVE gone through this and the men speaking up when they see these things happening. But, with that said I’ve seen it been used wrong too. To classify that it’s 100% risk is not true as I have seen so many success stories and rewarding things happen through my years of coaching up until today. Sending you much peace and love.

  3. Some women are not to be trusted. Some men are not to be trusted. The #MeToo movement has pluses and minuses. My biggest wish is that more women acknowledged female-on-male rape and its relative prevalence. Thanks Apollonia for reminding us that many women acknowledge that sometimes men have good reason not to trust women, but that this can be worked through.

    1. Hi Peter,
      Thank you for reading this article and for your comment and support.There can be many reasons for the mistrust, but as you nicely paraphrased, ” it can be worked out”.

  4. The paradigm of today is an unwillingness to meet halfway and actually have a full and whole relationship. There is a narrative of women who live according to a standard of men having to prove themselves with no proving themselves which isn’t fair or just. People should only prove themselves to each other and that’s how trust naturally is built. Men get hurt by ignoring red flags and not setting standards and the underlying factor is men crave sex on a high level. An immature underdeveloped woman that knows this will use that as a chess piece of manipulation and from there things get sour rather quickly. Just my insight…

  5. If this question was about men gaining more self confidence this article would make sense but unfortunately none of the tips will have any influence on how women perceive themselves and how they behave. The trouble isn’t how I feel about some women the trouble is that their behaviour merits distrust. Maybe one day I will meet a woman that is trust worthy but I’m not holding my breath and in the mean time I have things to do anyway.

  6. It’s a little troubling to me that everything about trusting women always seems to mysteriously involve work that the man has to do and never has anything to do with putting the onus on women to be more trustworthy.
    I’m not saying it’s the case, but sometimes it seems almost as if there’s an agenda at play.

    1. Hey Dave, thanks for taking the time to read How to trust women. This works both ways and it’s also about learning how to work through your past so that you attract people (not just women) who are trustworthy. If you’re finding that it’s difficult to trust people and you have a hard time with that, it’s usually because of something you’ve walked through that gives you the fear of getting hurt again.
      Wishing you the best,

  7. Hi Apollonia,
    I am finding it really hard to trust again because I was cheated on twice in the past. In these situations I was head over heels in love and did everything to make my woman happy and satisfied. She still fell for a guy that she worked with and left me for him after we were together for 2 years. I have a fear that no matter how positive, confident and trustworthy I am that I can always be betrayed if a woman feels like she found something better. I try really hard to change my mindset and attract the type of woman that i want but i dont understand how my “mindset” can turn someone into a faithful person. I think that no matter how positive and confident I am, if Im doomed Im just doomed. Attractive women meet so many men and have SO MANY OPTIONS that i feel like they will always be in contact with some of their options. Even if its just via text or DM on social media. I dont know if there is a such thing as a woman eliminating EVERY romantic interest she ever had from her life and dedicating to me. I just dont trust it. Can you give me some guidance?

    1. Hey Darrious, your mindset can’t CHANGE anyone. It will ATTRACT trustworthy people. There are so many trustworthy people out there who wouldn’t cheat no matter what, so what’s happening here is we’re missing red flags from the beginning. We might be dating women who are actually insecure and don’t love themselves, which makes you have to PROVE yourself and “do everything for them”. Proving yourself never works, and doing everything and constantly giving pushes people away because it’s coming from a place of fear and insecurity. “If I give you this, you’ll stay.” Go slower when you’re dating and actually watch for the red flags. A woman needs to earn her spot next to you. Stop treating girls like girlfriends while you’re dating them until they EARN it. Start learning what it looks like when a woman LOVES herself vs when she’s only looking for attention and validation from men (which is the type that might cheat.)
      Keep falling in love with yourself. Solid women are out there. It’s up to YOU to say no to the ones that aren’t good.
      Wishing you the absolute best 🙂

  8. As a woman. I can honestly say I’m using this whole article to help with my trust issues with men. This was great advice and all I have to do is replace all the male nouns with female nouns and vice versa. And the response you gave to the guy above really helped as well. I’ve been dealing with trust issues with men since I was a child and witnessed my father cheating on my mother on several occasions and also after being lied to and have my identity stolen by my ex. It sucks. But I want to trust people again. I trust myself these days more than ever as I have worked hard to provide for myself. Now I’m working on having healthy relationships with men that don’t involve me falling into some emotional whirlwind of romantic feelings. I want to start taking people as they are and not for who I wish them to be. Thanks for this!

    1. Hi there,

      This is amazing, We are so happy to hear this.
      Yes, this could absolutely help anybody in any situation.
      Working on yourself is the best decision you’ll ever make.
      Thank you so much for your support, keep up the great work.

  9. I’d love to believe it was this simple, too bad it isn’t. Funny thing is we’re always told to change ourself like it’s the victims fault they got used. I’ve seen this play out with both sexes the fact is you can’t fix something that ain’t broken. Most people can’t trust their own families but we’re suppose to believe it’s us that are the messed up one’s. I’ve spent years hearing this dribble, and similar such nonsense. The fact of the matter is most people aren’t trust worthy. Even if you do everything right one day you’ll take a chance and it’ll all probably happen all over again. It’s well known women have the upper hand in dating for most men, but again it must be something we’re doing wrong. Yes I see it happen to women too, and I do not condone the behavior either way. You can spend your whole life bettering yourself and never have anything but the same ol same, just the sad fact. Sometimes it just is because they misrepresent theirself so well even your therapist isn’t going to see it in time to save you.

    1. Thanks for leaving the comments on I mean no disrespect, and it very much validates the site. Maybe this will help a few people and I suppose that’s worth the write up.

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