Does it sometimes feel like you have no idea how to talk to women? Well, you’re not alone. When you’re getting to know her, it can be really hard to know exactly what to say and what questions to ask. How can you draw her into your world while also finding out more about her? How can you be assertive, without being pushy? How can you compliment her without overdoing it? Let’s face it – it can be scary to approach a woman you’re interested in, and almost everyone has experienced that.

I don’t know how to talk to women

Coming from a female perspective, in this article, I hope to help you find your way to communicate better with the women you’re interested in. The first step is to reframe the words you choose to identify with. If you tell yourself “I don’t know how to talk to women,” then you are already making that a reality. Tell yourself that you do know how to talk to women, and we’re already one step closer.

Now, let’s say a woman keeps giving you excuses. She’s not reciprocating and is giving you mixed signals already. My question then to you is this: Why are you trying to convince this woman to like you? There are so many women out there that are ready to see you for who you are and that have the potential to understand your self-worth. Don’t waste your time with women that don’t respect you at the get-go. If a woman is not reciprocating, then move on. Come into the mindset first of understanding your own self-worth and knowing if the woman in front of you sees value in you and is reciprocating your advances. Having that mindset will also help you be able to communicate with women better.

Learn how to talk to women

I’m going to be completely honest, when you first meet a woman, she will want you to initiate. Now, I wish that more women initiated and I do work with other coaches that coach women to help them do this, but the truth is that in general women want you to initiate. They want you to set up the date. They want you to reach out after you meet them and to text them. They want to be in the position of responding.

Now, do not misunderstand that if a woman does not respond, it does not mean that you should continue initiating. If she doesn’t text you back and then two days later texts you and says, “Hey, how are you?” and you ask her out again, but she doesn’t respond, then don’t continue any longer. She should be able to initiate at that point and make a compromise with you of setting another time if it doesn’t work for her. If you’re having issues with knowing how to ask a girl out on a date, feel free to check out some of my videos that can help with that.

Once you take the initiative to ask her out, then you can start to be a bit assertive. Just because you’re assertive, doesn’t mean you’re telling her what to do. It means getting to the point. It means making your text mean business. For example, you could say, “Let’s do dinner on Friday at 7:00 pm. Does that work?” Be direct and straight to the point; set the day and time. If she’s not available, then ask when she’d be available this weekend and what other times work for her. It’s not pushy to be clear and to the point, and women will appreciate it.

How to talk to women confidently

The best way to communicate with a woman is to call them, rather than to text them. A lot of times we don’t pick up the phone and call because we’re working, but the easiest way to set up a date is to just call and to have that connection of each other’s voice.

Women will, directly and indirectly, lead you. For example, a woman might say, “Listen, I don’t really like talking on the phone. I would prefer just texting here and there.” In that case, listen to her. But if she doesn’t make a specific note of that, then get on the phone and call her. Communicate with her, listen, and ask her questions. Download my 20 question manual to get to know a woman’s true self if you have any trouble knowing what questions to ask! These questions can open up the conversation, and some of them are quite deep, so I encourage you to use them a little bit further on, perhaps on the third or fourth date.

Don’t be afraid to be a leader. This means leading in terms of initiating, but this also means leading when you see red flags or she says something disrespectful. If she says something you didn’t like, then question it. It’s not insignificant. If you see something that bothers you, then take the lead and trust it. Question her intent. Men tend to get fixated on how perfect a woman is, but you have to be able to see that the woman values herself just as much as she values you. If anything leads you to something otherwise, then you have to follow your intuition and question it. If you are a man of self-worth, dignity, pride, and you respect yourself, you will find a woman that respects you.

You will date women that don’t need or want the same things or are insecure with themselves, and it’s important to question their intent in order to understand that. It shows that you’re a leader and coming from a place of pride, of putting yourself first. But it also shows respect for her by telling her what you tolerate and don’t tolerate. It’s important to not always feel like it’s a one-way street – that you have to act a certain way to get her – but to also stand your own ground and ask the same level of interest and work from her.

How to attract women without talking

There’s a lot you can do to attract women without talking. Building an emotional connection is part of that, and much of that connection can be created through mystery. When you build mystery, you’re also connecting on a much deeper level, and she’ll be open to it. That is the key. When she’s open to it, you don’t have to convince her to be with you. It will just naturally flow and happen.

Making eye contact is an extremely important part of attracting women without talking. Hold her gaze with a warm smile when she’s talking to you – don’t look in different directions. Holding eye contact shows that you are confident and interested.

Another important way is by being yourself through your appearance. Dress well, being conscious of how you present yourself. Showing that you took time to make yourself look nice shows a woman that you’re interested, without saying anything.

Your body language can also communicate beyond words. Stand tall and grounded, make polite gestures, like opening the door for her first if that comes naturally to you. Keep your shoulders relaxed and avoid fidgeting. Walk with purpose and direction. When you have control over your body language, you exude confidence and are seen as attractive. If you notice that you’re really hitting it off, you could laugh and maybe touch her on the shoulder to show interest. If she reciprocates somehow, then you know you have things going, without saying anything.

If you found the advice in this blog helpful, as always please comment below and tell me your personal stories. I love knowing what worked for you and what your experiences have been! Remember, you are always loved.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti