8 Alpha Male Traits & Mindsets! Change Your LIFE and Better Your Relationships!

We are going to discuss the eight mindsets that attract women. These mindsets are so energetic that a woman can feel when a man has this type of confidence and it’s called the inner confidence. You will be able to use some of these mindsets as well to increase your chances to attract women and boost your confidence overall. These mindsets are something that will enhance your approach with women and get them to desire you more. 

8 Alpha Male Mindsets

Mindset #1 You don’t have to prove yourself to anyone!

You have clarity in your life about who you are as a person and if you are not going to be desired as a man by a particular person, then you know there is someone else that will desire you. Now I’m not saying that you’re going to be disrespectful and come off harsh and really, really aggressive, but what I do mean is that you just hold your power. You know who you are and you don’t have to prove yourself or you don’t have to say things to get people to like you. You don’t have to act in a particular way for someone to like you. You know that you showing up as you will be the way people will see you and if they don’t like you, no big deal. You like you and that’s what matters.

Mindset #2 You’re not attached to an outcome, you know that everything will work out, and if it doesn’t, you will be okay.

If you go a little bit deeper in this, this means that you’re okay with being alone, right? This means that you, alone, are okay because a lot of times in relationships a lot of people seek validation from another. They seek validation that they are loved, that they are enough but you’re the only person that needs to see yourself as enough to attract that. That’s what I’m saying. Mindset number two is not attached to a specific outcome. If you like a girl and she’s an amazing girl and you think this is going great blah blah blah, you’re okay if it works out and you’re okay if it doesn’t work out. It’s just the simple act of you not putting pressure because if you put pressure it shows neediness, insecurity, and attachment.

Mindset #3 You look at things as what value can I offer someone or something instead of what can I get out of this because you have a mindset that you know the more that I give the more that I’m going to receive.

Now it’s not that you’re saying that you’re going to give someone a piece of you or your time if they’re not going to be respectful or receiving towards it, but you know that you don’t have this attitude that you’re just like, “Okay, what are you giving me? I’m here because you need to be here and you’re giving me something because my time is valuable to me.” No. Your time is valuable to you, yes, but this is from a different perspective and mindset. You’re like, “Okay, how can I add value to you in your life?” Because you know you’re capable of meeting your own needs and being there for others. It’s less selfish. This comes off so attractive to women and it shows too that you are powerful and that you hold your own pretty well.

Mindset #4 You’re unapologetically honest.

I don’t mean that you’re just going to point out and say things like you look fat in that dress or anything like that but you’re going to obviously be honest and open about your own opinions. Women are so attracted to this and I talk about this so much because I just want to get it ingrained in your head. You don’t want to always agree with a woman because one, you’ll fall into friend zone pretty easily when that happens, and two, women test men a lot when it comes to this. When you’re open and you’re honest about how you feel or have your own opinion about a specific topic that the both of you are talking about, it shows that you are just you showing up for you and not trying to impress her because you are enough and that’s what is impressive to a woman.

Mindset #5 You value your time so this means you also want to see if she’s worth it.

There is a difference here. What I mean in value your time is you take your time with her to see if she is worth it for you. A lot of times men fall into just the visual of the woman. Like oh my gosh, she has a nice body, she’s beautiful, she’s this, she’s that, which I’m not saying to dismiss, but what I am saying is understand that those women can be a little bit more intriguing to you when you’re really trying to get to know her on an emotional level, what she has to offer you and who she is as a person if she’s worth a commitment as well. Instead of just seeing her beauty and thinking, “This one!” This is the mindset you want to always have: no matter how beautiful the woman is or how great the woman is, you have to see if she’s worth it for you to invest your time in and the same goes vice versa. A woman of value is deciding the same thing; are you the type of person she wants to make a commitment to as well.

Mindset #6 You show up powerfully in your own skin.

What I mean by this is you just know yourself. I mean I talk about this in mindset number one and mindset number two, but when you show up in your own skin, you walk into places like a lounge or a restaurant or wherever you are, and your chin is up, shoulders are back, and you just confidently know who you are. Women can sense this when a man just knows who he is and he owns it and he’s just powerful in who he is. It shows in how you present yourself.

How do you become powerful? Well, you have to be focused on something that is thriving in your life and you can read my article on how to find your purpose to discover some ideas on how to find your purpose and how you give back. This is significant to your everyday world when it comes to attraction.

Mindset #7 You’re compassionate but you don’t get defensive.

There are so many men that I know that get very low on patience. They take automatic offense to something as though if a woman says something she’s being disrespectful and he points fingers back and he automatically gets offended as though he has to defend himself and the world is all against him. This is not compassion. What this actually does to a woman in her mind is it kills attraction all the time. I mean from day one. It’s a huge red flag for a woman. I bring this up because this has happened a lot in coaching sessions and men that I’ve talked to, they’re just like, “I just don’t have patience. I just don’t have the time, blah blah blah blah blah,” but they hold this aspect of not having compassion but also not knowing how to just breathe, take a moment and be like, “All right. This has nothing to do with me. What’s the worst thing possible that can come out of this? Let me just open this up for discussion,” instead of just pointing fingers and getting so frustrated to the point where you can hear it in their tone. You can see it in their physical being and you can hear the way that they come off and their expressions. Everything changes, their demeanor, their energy, everything.

This is huge in regards to the mindset of a man. You don’t want to let anybody else control your emotions. You are the one that’s in control of your own emotions, right? Meaning, okay someone says something to you to piss you off. You have a choice! You have a choice to either get angry or just look at him and smile and be like, “Damn. You’re having a bad day.” Right? Because of the fact that when you hold your own, it shows so much more confidence that you’re just not reacting and you’re just accepting it and you’re just like, “You’re not going to get to me,” because you control yourself. You control you. Reacting and taking everything personally can kill attraction instantly. It comes off as unsafe. And that is huge for women, they need to know they can be safe with you. It is your choice in how you choose to respond to the things around you.

Mindset #8 You embrace failures with strength and confidence.

We all mistakes in life but you embrace these mistakes and ask yourself how can I be better, what can I learn from this and what would I choose to improve. Let me respond to my mistakes and see how I can fix this so it doesn’t happen again. You don’t get down on yourself and start punishing yourself like, “Oh, you’re not a good guy, you’re horrible, no woman is going to like you. You don’t deserve love.” You don’t say those things to yourself. When you’re in the dumps you’re like, “Okay fine. I messed up but how am I going to improve with this and how am I going to move forward?” You take the proactive notions and you build the skills so you don’t have this happen to you again.

What are the traits of an alpha male?

Alpha is not to be confused with aggressive. Many people think that an alpha mindset means being aggressive and dominant and that is not the case. Being aggressive, dominant, enforcing your will on others or trying to control things is just a reaction to being in fear and fearing that things will not turn out the way that you want them to. An alpha mindset is letting go of control and staying in the moment, knowing that you can handle anything that happens, everything always works out, and you will learn and grow from anything that comes your way. You do not need to control others or be in fear because you know your morals and your values, you know what you stand for, so you can trust yourself and know when to invest your time and when to walk away. See the difference? One is based in fear and insecurity, the other in confidence and security.

An alpha male is someone that motivates the people around him and wants to see people succeed because he knows that it does not impede his own success. Other traits include persistence, courage, respect for everyone around you, taking care of yourself physically because your mental health and how you feel about yourself are important. The ability to laugh at yourself and continue to be open to learning and growing, not always believing that you are right but remaining curious and seeking to understand rather than to be understood; these are the traits that make an alpha male.

Alpha male traits and leadership skills

These traits all lend to an impactful leader. Again, would you rather work for someone who is domineering and short-tempered? Or someone who uplifts you, who wants to see you succeed and instills a sense of trust? So adopting these qualities and traits will naturally push you into a leadership position because people will gravitate towards you, they will want to go to you for advice and they will want to be around you because you have positive and great energy.

Also, keep in mind there is a difference between these traits and people-pleasing or wanting to be positive around people and uplift them because you want them to like you. This mindset is not about getting people to like you but knowing and having confidence within yourself that you are capable of giving back and encouraging others to do the same.

This mindset when you really adapt it will naturally help with communication and communicating with your employees. This will also give you a sense of patience and the ability to make decisions. And this is a big one, guys. Trusting yourself and being confident and not afraid of making mistakes and learning from them will give you the ability to be decisive, assess quickly and make the best choices. Because you won’t be in fear or anxiety, there won’t be a voice in your head filling you with doubt, you will be able to think clearly, rationally and logically.

Alpha male traits in relationships: why women love them!

Women want to be with someone that they feel like they can learn something from. Being in an alpha mindset is attractive to a woman because you naturally inspire them! There’s a sense of confidence and power inside of you that resonates and women can feel that! That doesn’t mean that you have to know all of the answers and know everything. A big part of this mindset is being open and remaining teachable, showing that you don’t know everything but that you are not embarrassed or ashamed that you don’t, that you want to continue to educate yourself. This is a form of intellectual stimulation and drives women crazy! They will want to try to impress YOU and get YOUR attention with these qualities.

Women also love these traits in a man because what is one of the most important things for a woman is feeling safe. She needs to feel emotionally safe and like she can open up to you and you will be someone she can lean on. Not someone that will be needy and constantly make her feel like she has to validate your feelings and make you feel better about yourself. That’s an instant attraction killer. This was mentioned above, one of the key things in an alpha mindset is not reacting to your environment but rather responding to it and not letting things bother you. Being in control of your emotions. This instantly shows a woman that you are safe. That you’re not going to lose your temper when you guys are together so she doesn’t have to be in fear of you causing her harm.

These are the things that make a woman walk over to you, guys and also stay in a relationship. Women are not as visual as men, they are more energy-based and go by how someone makes them feel. Try really implementing these traits and mindsets and see what happens!

If you liked this article, please comment below and share with me what you liked about this the most! What mindset is something that you can work on starting today and what is something that maybe I didn’t even mention in this article that you would think is a great mindset to have? Let’s be kind here.

You are always loved.

Your coach,


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  1. Really informative article. Loved it. It taught me couple things i need to improve on in addition it served as a refresher. Keep up the great work Appolinia

    1. Hi Jason,
      Thank you for stopping by and reading my blog about the 8 alpha mindsets that attract women.

  2. Great pointers, as usual! Thanks agian on my behalf and all the others who get good advice from what you share and teach! 🙂

    1. Hi Daniel,
      Thank you so much! I appreciate you commenting on the blog about alpha male traits and mindset and appreciate your support so much. xo

    1. Hi Horace,
      Thank you for your support and for reading my blog about “alpha male traits and mindset”!

  3. Apollonia, the 8 Alpha male traits have changed my entire view of what an Alpha male is. I thought I was one. I am always working on myself, whether it be business growth or personal growth. I can tell you this. I will be reading this article every morning so these traits become habit for me. It was a blessing to find you and your gifts.

    1. Quentin,
      Thanks for reading my blog about the alpha mindset. Hope this blog brought you a lot of insight and wishing nothing but the best. Yes, read this article every morning as I know it will help!

  4. Apollonia,

    I have learned more from you and your presentations than any other dating coach on the Internet! Here’s wishing you continued success in your ventures! Bruce

    1. Hi Bruce,
      Thank you for your comment and for letting me know your feedback. I appreciate this so much and thanks for encouraging me to keep doing this@

    1. Hi Ole,
      Thank you for your comment on my Alpha male traits and mindset blog. I appreciate your comment and stopping by.

  5. The content from you is top class Apollonia! I wish I have found your videos a month ago, when I could’ve still safe my relationship!😞

    1. Hi George,
      Thank you for your comment. I appreciate you and your feedback. Happy you found my advice.

  6. Hello Apollonia, how to fix the temper and safety thing that you speak about ?
    im pretty sure i did those mistakes you talk about, but the girl still talk to me, i feel that the attraction is not dead but she dont trust me maybe, she’s not so attracted and im sure it’s about those thing of safety. please can you tell me how to fix that ?

  7. And thank you for all those good articles, you are like an angel that come from the god dimension to save us men that are in troubles with women.

  8. Just discovered you. I like what I read, and appreciate it from a women’s point of view. I will be back.


  9. As ive grown older, somehow i learned how to live by alot of these suggestions.
    Im not sure how exactly I came to these realizations but in reading this article, it made me realize…. “Ok, good… Yeah
    I can dig it”!

    Thank you. Very well put.

  10. Thank you for opening up a whole new understanding of the female speices. I appreciate the explanation in simple and clear terms. I feel confident in achieving my masculine potential and feeling excited to put in place the steps to wi my girlfriend back.

    Thank you God bless
    Happy Easter

    1. Thank you for the kind words Richard and for reading 8 Alpha Make Traits & Mindsets! Change your LIFE and Better Your Relationships!
      That’s amazing you are feeling incredible! I have some really great products I think you would be interested in.
      You can check them out here! https://www.apolloniaponti.com/products/

      Wish you all the best!
      – Team Apollonia

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