What Women Want from Men: 6 REAL Things From A Woman!

In this article, I want to discuss with you what women want and share some tips on the top things women notice right away. This can be for people who are dating and also in relationships. This advice and insight comes from clients, myself and really just taking it back to the old Western times. Even though you may feel like this doesn’t exist anymore, that couldn’t be further from the truth! Chivalry still exists and women still love it!

What do women want in a man?

I’m so excited to share my thoughts on this and give you advice. If you need some help in the love department, I can guarantee this is what women look for when they’re dating a man, or even what keeps the relationship going, with a smile on her face.

And I want to just keep this pretty simple here, too. So many times I hear guys saying, “women are complicated, they want too much” and it’s really simple, guys. Women just want you to be you but confident with yourself. Loving yourself. Loving your life. Not feeling like you need a person to complete you or that you’re putting your emotions and sense of self-worth on her or the relationship. Basically, a woman wants the same things that you want because don’t you want a woman who loves herself and values herself and loves her life, too?

Here are 6 key things women look for in a man:

  • Women love a man that makes us feel safe
  • Women love honesty and trust
  • Women love a man that can carry himself well
  • Women want to feel important to you
  • Women love a man that makes them feel heard
  • Women value maturity

Read on below for an in-depth explanation for each of these qualities!

6 Things women want in a man!

#1 Women love a man that makes us feel safe.

This does not mean that you fight another man for us, or pick fights to show the girl you’re macho. Nothing like that at all! You don’t want to pick a fight with someone and show a woman that this is the way of you being macho. I can guarantee you the moment you do that, she’s dying to get away because that is exactly what you don’t want to do.

There are different ways you can show a woman that she can feel safe or secure around you. And it’s not about being physical. Let’s say you take her out to dinner, and you see she’s cold. Offer her your jacket. Or if you don’t have one, just ask the waiter if he can turn down the AC. This shows that you care about the way she feels. Make sure you hold her hand or even have her walk in front of you while you hold her waist in a crowded area. Ask her if she’s feeling okay and having a good time.

Also, walking her to her door, or even calling her an Uber and walking her to the Uber and asking her to text you when she gets home is a way that you set the boundaries for a woman to feel safe. Let’s say she forgets. She gets home, gives you about an hour, never texts you. This is when you text her. Maybe she fell asleep, but guess what? The moment she wakes up, she’s going to see a text from you, asking if she got home okay. This shows a woman you take control of her safety.

Also, a woman wants to know you will stand up for her and make sure she is treated well. Meaning, with friends, family, coworkers, everyone.

#2 Women love honesty and trust.

Trust. We love honesty, presence, and trust. So many men think that they have to play hard these days. I’m a true believer if a man and a woman really like each other, they do not play games because it interferes with trust, and sometimes honesty. You start building your foundation of trust by showing up to your dates on time and calling when you say you will.

Listen, women remember when you tell them, “I will call you tomorrow,” or saying, “I want to see you tomorrow.” So, if you say this, do it! I hear so many women dating men and they have a great date and the man says, “I would love to see you tomorrow.” She confirms politely, and the next day, he’s going to happy hour with his friends. This does not look good, guys! This is what happens in a woman’s mind when you do this: “He isn’t serious, and I don’t want to dedicate my time to him.” Men wonder why this happens, and it’s because a high-value woman will not want to set a date with a man that does not stick to his word.

Men, if you cannot stick to your word at the beginning of setting a date, then a woman is not going to take you seriously.

#3 Women love a man that can carry himself well.

Make your presence known. How you carry yourself matters. Walk into a room with her proudly. Introduce yourself to her friends with confidence, and maybe even tell a joke from time to time. A lot of men tend to think that presence is only about showing up, and yes it has a lot to do with showing up, but it’s about how you show up.

#4 Women want to feel important to you.

If you’re in a relationship, she wants to feel like she’s number one. You hear me, men? Women want to feel like they are number one. If all men could get this right, so many of us women would be happy. Tell her and show her you love her. You do this by involving her in things with your life, like work, your friends, family. Not only are you telling her, but you’re showing her too. She feels important when you’re including her in your life and you want her to be a part of it.

Open doors for her. Wait for her to sit down before she does. Offer to help her with bags in her hand, especially when she’s shopping. Men, a woman does not want to be carrying bags when she has a man that can be doing this for her. She does not want to be loading the luggage while you stand there and watch. These are just little ways of being a gentleman that shows her you’re there for her and wanting to help.

Compliment her and bring her flowers. Know her favorite color. Tell her what your favorite outfit on her is, and remember it. Know her favorite artists and buy her concert tickets. Remember what she likes. Make that masculine energy known.

#5 Women love a man that makes them feel heard.

Communication is key. Now, for my men in relationships, this is what I hear a lot: “I provide for her, and she has all the money to do all the activities she wants with her girlfriends, and she can shop whenever she wants. Why isn’t she happy?” This is where you get it wrong because it’s not about things. Women want to be heard. They want you to communicate with them. Don’t just come home, put on that TV, and just ask, “What’s for dinner?” Involve your partner in conversations when you get home. And yeah, I get it. Even if you have a hectic day and you don’t want to talk, because I know, we’ve all been there, this is when affection comes in. Just hug her, and kiss her, and tell her you love her. Tell her you had a hard day and you’re happy to see her. These are the things she is going to remember. I can guarantee you she will have a hot meal on that plate in no time. And if you’re lucky, maybe even a back rub.

#6 Women value maturity.

Most importantly, maturity. Maturity is sexy, guys. When speaking to so many women out there, the number one turn-off is a man that is immature. Call her and text her with conversations and not just one-line responses you can copy and paste to another girl. We want to see an effort. What I mean by this is don’t text her and say, “Hey, how are you doing?” She replies, and you never reply back. What is that? That’s not a sign of a loyal, respectful man. Get straight to the point, and do not sit there and text her all day. These types of virtual relationships are not healthy.

Now, there is a difference between dating someone for a while and texting a couple of times here and there. But I have seen so many people text all throughout the day. And what I mean by this is at least 20 text messages every 30 to 45 minutes throughout the day. Listen, a woman wants your attention, but a smart woman will see this as a red flag. So, don’t interrupt her day, especially if she’s on vacation with her girls or out with her girls for the day, whatever the case may be.

Men, don’t text a woman and ask her to meet you for a drink, and then say, “You’re buying,” then laugh afterward. I mean, the woman might offer to pay after your date, as she might want to escape as early as possible after going out with someone who isn’t maturely stable. But if you do want to come off as a mature man, don’t joke like this early on. Yes, I’ve seen this. It never works out well.

Also, please don’t tell her she’s beautiful just like your ex. Yes, I’ve seen this too. These are all clues of immaturity, and not somebody ready to settle down.

With maturity, a woman looks for a man who can provide. This isn’t always about money, men. We look for a man with ambition and determination. But let me be real with you, women want to know that you can handle their basic needs: dinner, travel, fun activities, and just simple, basic needs. Something that you can enjoy doing together. When getting in a relationship, many men I speak to date women sometimes that make more money than them, and that’s okay. But let me tell you something, men, this does not change the fact that women want to make sure she’s provided for. Do not make this a permanent habit. Depending on the situation, you might not always make more money than her. But you need to make sure you’re standing your ground and taking care of your part.

I see so many women helping their men out, and then they just become resentful. Listen to me, if there is anything you can do to stop this, you need to take control. Do not move into a woman’s house, use her car, and expect her to pay your phone bill. She will become resentful, and this is not the way a woman wants to be treated.

What women like: 5 things they notice right away!

#1 You have your own opinion.

Women do not want you to agree with them all the time. No one really wants that. Most people want to be able to have conversations and challenge their own thinking in order to be open to new ideas and the same holds true for women. We don’t want a doormat that we walk all over, we want someone that knows himself, knows what he stands for and knows how to use his voice. You’re allowed to speak your mind, guys! Just do it with respect and she’ll respect you right back.

#2 You know how to dress and you can dress well.

This isn’t just about making things look good on the outside. When a woman sees that you can dress well and you take the time to pay attention to details, so show up and be presentable, it shows a woman that you’re capable of paying attention to the details. That if you put care into how you present yourself, how you carry yourself, that same attention to detail and use of care and awareness is going to also be used in a relationship.

#3 You know how to communicate properly.

This also goes back to feeling safe with you, guys. A woman needs to know that if you get upset or frustrated, you’re not going to punch a wall or start becoming verbally abusive. That you are in control of your emotions and you’re not ruled by them, because that is unsafe. Women, at least high-value women, look for a man that when there is a disagreement, he is able to address it with compassion and communication, where you both look for a solution instead of just trying to be right.

#4 You have a purpose

This is a big one! Having passion in your life, having things that you love and being happy is huge for women. And also for you guys, too! It’s so important to understand that happiness comes from inside of you. If you’re not happy with yourself, with where you’re at in life and with what’s going on, a relationship is not going to make that better. In fact, a woman would walk away because if you’re not happy in your life and you’re putting too much pressure on her to fix you or make you happy, she’s going to become resentful and run in the opposite direction. This isn’t about owning a company or having billions of dollars, purpose means that you know what you offer in your career and you are happy with your life. It’s a huge attraction, this actually attracts people to you in general.

#5 You have manners

A woman will look at how you treat other people. Do you have a positive energy about you? Do you treat people with respect? Even when you think no one is looking. This shows her that she can be safe with you, emotionally safe with you. This one isn’t about whether or not you know which side of the plate the knife goes, this is about respect. Do you respect her and the people around you? This triggers her to picture how you’ll be with kids, with a relationship, with anything in life. So be sure to just treat everyone with respect, the same way that you would want to be treated.

Things a woman likes about a man

We like you to just be aware and be open. Women like when a guy knows himself has done the work on himself has things to teach her and knows who he is and what he brings to the table. Just think about what it is that you want, right? You want a woman who is emotionally available, knows who she is, is capable of being there for you and also confident, so just ask yourself, what am I really looking for in a relationship and in a partner and what do I need to grow in myself in order to get that and be at that level.

Maybe it’s learning how to take care of yourself more and go to the gym. Maybe it’s learning how to be honest and positive instead of being in a victim mentality and blaming the world instead of rising to the occasion. I talk about this a lot on my why women ghost blog that I would recommend if this has happened to you. Whatever it is, it’s great to take a hard look at yourself and then do the things you need to do in order to be the man you want to be that attracts the type of woman you want in your life.

Men, if you need some support in understanding women, please feel free to sign up for a quick 30 or 60-minute call or email consultation. We are more than happy to help you out. Also, check out this product on how to text a woman!

Sending you so much love and blessings.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Sign Up For Newsletter

This newsletter is here for you to be a part of my community and get to know eachother more. This newsletter will be full of valuable information for your dating, relationship, and life. Be a part of my newsletter community and get weekly advice straight to your inbox.

Similar Posts


    1. Thank you so much! Not at all. I actually have alot of videos about this. Thank you for reading my blog about what women want.

  1. thank you again for the best, most sound advice. It’s really the only advice I remember and try to apply because it points to things like establishing good character, healthy habits and finding our own life first – which naturally leads to great connections w women. This takes work – but you reinforce that it’s worth it . Thanks!

    1. Hi Joe,
      You’re welcome! Thank you for your comment and for reading my blog about what women want from men. Establishing good character and healthy habits are important. Thanks for that!

  2. Everything you identify in this piece I have – and I have lots of women friends who confirm this to me regularly. In spite of these things though, I’ve never had a girlfriend and never experienced intimacy or had sex. I honestly feel that although there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me per se, I just don’t have whatever it takes – and that other guys obviously have – to attract a woman on a sexual level. Maybe I’m not supposed to have sex? Maybe I’m just not able to make women see me in that way? Maybe I should give up on ever being a sexual person and just accept that sex is for other people? It’s definitely not what I want, but it seems to be my reality.

  3. As usual, Apollonia, you hit the nail on the head in realistic terms that are direct, succinct and that any man can relate to. Regarding the frequency of texting or calling, I think moderation is the key, but the SUBSTANCE of said communications is what can most accurately advance the progress in a relationship.

    I can also relate to your point on the importance of having and maintaining a sense of purpose. A woman can certainly enhance the good qualities in a man, but the notion that a woman can MAKE or BREAK a man’s life and happiness is an unfair expectation if I do not have my own means of creating opportunities for happiness and fulfillment within myself. I am seeing for myself that self-respect is key here – and I don’t mean in a narcissistic manner, rather, learning to realize all that I have to offer and infusing that self-love into the relationship. I learned a lot about that in your blog on changes to make in promoting self-care.

    Finally, Abe, you have nothing to feel ashamed of; not yet having a girlfriend does not mean that you are not meant to share meaningful love with that special someone. PLEASE DON’T GIVE UP! Being on Apollonia’s site is a great way to accentuate your positive qualities and channel them in a way that will yield results. I can relate to your sense of concern. For years following my painful divorce, I was wondering if something was wrong with me and why sharing meaningful love and intimacy was eluding me. I subsequently began examining myself, even writing lists: Who am I? What do I have to offer? What am I looking for? I then began making incremental changes in how I carried myself. I decided to not make sex and intimacy my end game; rather I learned to take in the journey, observe, absorb and put what I have learned into practice…and let me tell you, it has been helping:-D and I am CONTINUING to learn in my never-ending quest for self-improvement! I highly recommend checking out Apollonia’s videos on how to get out of a woman’s “friend zone.” It does not mean changing the essence of who you are, my friend; rather, it may well just be a matter of fine-tuning…and just giving it some time to yield the results that you are seeking. Remember, Abe, you are not alone.

    1. Good for you, Dave. The fact is, men pursue women they choose to pursue, but women choose from among the men who pursue them. Other guys [can] have what it takes to be selected. I don’t – and whatever authentic quality other men have that attracts women at a sexual level is inherent to them – I don’t have it. Thanks for trying to help – there’s nothing ‘wrong’ with me – it’s just that some of us are just not supposed to be sexually visible – so we cannot be.

      1. Your issue is a lack of confidence.you have no self belief and your framing this in a negative manner.approach as many girls as possible, the key is to fail and fail again. You can’t win a boxing match if you’ve never been punched.so take some punches, embrace rejection. But build a positive mindset, focus on the end goal.
        Working on your self esteem Will do wonders. Enjoy being single, be happy without a partner. You’ll see..

  4. Apollonia,
    Do women have to go through all these self-improvement programs or do they just continue to sit back, do nothing and enjoy all the action coming to them?? It’s so unfair that men have to do ALL the work, risk rejection and deal with this female entitlement attitude! Females come from a place of sexual abundance; whereas men come from a place of sexual scarcity. Women have no idea what it’s like to be rejected sexually, but men know all too well the pain of being shot down. Whoever heard of a woman being turned down and rejected sexually by a man? It simply never happens. I wish that you and Natalie would stop minimizing the emotional pain brought about by female sexual rejection. It hurts enormously, especially since men have a MUCH STRONGER sex drive than women.(That’s another thing I wish you would acknowledge in your videos and blogs). Women are equally at fault for all the chaos, pain and loneliness in this world, and I truly wish that you would show some fairness for once and make a video about all the unnecessary games, (such as shit tests) that they subject men to.

    As a final point, I would ask you why don’t women ever escalate sexually with men and instead insist on men doing all the risk-taking?? After all, it’s 2020, not Victorian England. The approach-anxiety that I have experienced has been overwhelming and if women want to be treated as equal partners with men then they should shoulder an equal amount of the burden of establishing intimacy. Thank you

    1. What you can’t have an abundance mentality? I do, I’m nothing special.
      I’ve got news for you bud. Biologically across all forms of life, the male must seek and approach the female, the male needs to stand out.
      So harden up butter cup.no girl wants some whining , ‘poor me’ victim. So many guys act like this, is this why I’m finding dozens of girls available on weekends?

  5. Appolonia, there is that girl im attracted to her, i can’t stop thinking about her, and i don’t know if she is attracted to me, she talk to me, but also ignore me alot of days, i can’t have a date with her, i proposed to her 3 times to see each other, she say yes but then dont come or disapear days before the date so i understand she’s not going to come. In such situation i assumed she dont like me, but strangely she continue talking to me.. Appolonia is it possible that a girl like me but dont want to come see me ? she know im attracted to her, but it’s like she dont trust me, or it’s like she is fearing something, me ? or the date ? the pressure ? She is like avoiding me because of something, and i dont know what it is. We talk relationship, i attract her, but also it’s like im not important in her life, or not yet important, or she is waiting for something, maybe she is waiting to be ready ? maybe she is waiting to see something in me ? she want to be sure ? at least i know i attracts her physically, she asked me for naked videos (not totally naked), half naked videos to look at my muscles, because i do bodybuilding, and also im a hot guy. I dont know if she like me for who i am, or just like my body and maybe don’t like alot my personality ?, she says not looking for sex but serious relationship, but in the same time she post alot of pics of beautiful and sexy guys in her fb and instagram stories, she crave for muscles and virility and playboys.
    What should i do ?
    When i tell her come we see each other next week, she say yes, but then disapear, but she tell why she disapeared, she give me reasons, sometimes she’s busy in her studies, or in a trip in another country with friends, or she’s out of the town, etc..
    Im chasing her, and always tell her i like her, i even speaked with her about mariage, no no Appolonia im not such needy, i speak about mariage because it’s time for me to get married, i have 30 years old, and i think about mariage everyday now, im trying to build my own business to have good incomes and build a big house and get married and have a family, i told her about all this. I dont know if she believe me or not, i think in the same time she belive me and dont belive me, i think she dont really trust me, because of my face, i look like a womanizer, but im not. Also i look like a loozer, have no many friends, dont take pictures of me when im out because sincerely i don’t go to clubs alot and have no time to have fun, because my life is a mess right now im building, it’s a building site, im trying to do my business, i run everywhere, and have my mother and my brother, we live together and have lot’s of everyday problems, you know the family life what it is and how it can tires you. So maybe she see that im not fun. In the same time she is interested, etc..
    Please Appolonia have you an advice to give me ? what to do with this girl ?
    I need to save myself Appolonia, this girl is in my head, im becoming very tiered, sick, sad, because i really thought i was able to make her like me, because also i have a hard life, very hard, i dont have energy anymore Appolonia, i feel sometimes when im asleep that im going to die soon, my life is a total mess, i did nothing, i have 30 year old and did nothing, built nothing, i know im not a looser because it’s not my fault but my mind think im a total looser, my mind is going to kill me, my life also, and now this girl.
    What to do, please an advice Appolonia please ! please save me.

    1. Your clingy and desperate ,don’t think about this girl all the time ffs. Go out, meet more women, lots. You’ll find other girls , you’ll be attracted to other girls, then this girl you’ve put on the pedestal won’t seem so special.
      I’ll let you in on a secret , desperation is the biggest turn off for both men and women.

  6. Apolonia, can you please translate all your articles in french ? im from Tunisia, and i would like to read your blog in french, im sure there is also thousands of people who would like to read you in french, people from france and from the french speaking world (Quebec, Belgium, Africa, etc..)
    And i have news, the girl sent me a message on facebook saying ”hello Malek how are you ?” to disapear again. and that after i got angry against her yesterday and told her how much im against that she treat me like that, not giving attention to me for days and days, and making stories with pics of hot guys while im me too hot and have muscle and have lots of qualities and like her so much, i told her why you give your attention to guys in pics and don’t give attention to me the guys that like you so much and that have nothing less than those guys in the pics she post. I also told her again that im not lying to her, that i really like her and told her why, told her what i liked in her. But she first replied yesterday with a ”i never told that you have less than those guys”
    I replied to her with telling her that im not a looser staying at home doing nothing, that im trying to build a business to win money to live well to have a house and to get married together, i told her that im not just chasing her because im lacking girls in my life (because she know throught facebook that there is no girl around) that i really like her for her inner qualities and her beauty and because i feel she is good.
    She replied today, hours ago with a ”hello Malek how are you ?”
    Hahahaha ! she’s not angry after me, and want to know how im doing, Appolonia, does it means she liked what i said and how i standed for my self and been honest with her ?
    By the way i always speak with her with big truth, i always open my heart to her and tell her that i like her very much and why, and that i want to see her etc..
    But she dispaear always, like today for exemple, she just replied ”hello Malek how are you ?” and nothing more.
    What does it mean ? does she liked what i said ? and are she really busy or are she avoiding me ? if yes, why does she seems interested ?
    It’s like she want to keep me with her ? till something, it’s like there is something she’s waiting for, or it’s like i have no really great importance for her. Wich one is it Appolonia please just one reply, please tell me what to do, just give me one little advice, and i promise when i will start winning money i will send you 1000 dollars to thank you, you can trust me im a man of my word.

  7. Appolonia, im reading your blog and other blogs of seduction advices and it’s always about what women want.
    Women want this, women want that, women want, women want, women want, want, want, want, this and that this and that this and that this and that…
    MY GOD !!! woooooow i just want to breathe, let me breathe.
    It’s crazy !! it’s all for women and all about what women want. and it’s not your fault Appolonia, it’s true, all what you say is true, because women are honestly leading men ! And men who are in trouble with women are keeping women leading them ! and are mostly also not fighting for what they want !!!
    AND THIS IS CRAZY !! THIS !! IS !! CRAAAAAAAAA ZZZZYYYYYY !!!! Im a man i exist like women exist and I WANT !!! and me too i want to be understood, and i want women to try to seduce me !!! im a human me too, im not born to give women what they want NO NO NO NO NO NO !!! i have just wake up my mind now and i understand everything !!! im not born to became a slave of what women want, it’s finish ! FI NISH !!! FIIIII NIIISH !!! NO MORE WOMEN WANT, i will not give a fuck about any want of woman till this woman didn’t seduce me and gave me what I want first !!!
    Now it’s me first and if they don’t like i will leave them and let them alone with no love no attention no neediness for them !!!
    IT’S RÉVOLUTION I TAKE BACK SEDUCTION, ATTENTION, POWER, MONEY, ENERGY, ETC.. I TAKE BACK EVERYTHING, i will ony give from my self to women that give me from themselves !

    1. Dude, you at least became awake about ‘women want’ bs, at first I thought you are mad. Now you need to take the red pill to further your journey. Read on ‘The Manipulated Man’ by Esther Viller, a woman and then read ‘The Rational Male’ by Rollo Tommasi for betterment in your life. And also subscribe to some red pill, mgtow channels on youtube and women hypergamy channels. After all of these your life will take a different turn for the better.

  8. In summation, you offer invaluable information in understand women as it relates to dating, courtships, and otherwise. Moreover, your insights are delivered very clearly, concisely, and with good energy! Your information in this subject matter has been immensely helpful to me. Thank You and keep doing this; this is your calling!

    1. Hi Nazmul! Thank you for reading “What Women Want from Men: 6 REAL Things From A Woman!” and supporting us! I hope you’re well 🙂

  9. Hello apollonia I have seen your videos on youtube. You are doing a real good job for the world and women esp. Cheers now.

  10. Women want a man that can provide…..men need to make money in order to provide…..more money equals more provisions…..women want a man with money. I’ve seen women with losers and women with winners. We all want convenience to how we live our lives. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. That there is the best answer to all and I don’t even have a degree.

  11. Thank you for the advises is very useful .When it comes down to choosing a perfect husband, every woman has her ideals. In this video, 7 things that all women are looking for in their man! Enjoy

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *