In this article, I want to discuss with you what women want and share some tips on the top things women notice right away. This can be for people who are dating and also in relationships. This advice and insight comes from clients, myself and really just taking it back to the old Western times. Even though you may feel like this doesn’t exist anymore, that couldn’t be further from the truth! Chivalry still exists and women still love it!

What do women want in a man?

I’m so excited to share my thoughts on this and give you advice. If you need some help in the love department, I can guarantee this is what women look for when they’re dating a man, or even what keeps the relationship going, with a smile on her face.

And I want to just keep this pretty simple here, too. So many times I hear guys saying, “women are complicated, they want too much” and it’s really simple, guys. Women just want you to be you but confident with yourself. Loving yourself. Loving your life. Not feeling like you need a person to complete you or that you’re putting your emotions and sense of self-worth on her or the relationship. Basically, a woman wants the same things that you want because don’t you want a woman who loves herself and values herself and loves her life, too?

Here are 6 key things women look for in a man:

  • Women love a man that makes us feel safe
  • Women love honesty and trust
  • Women love a man that can carry himself well
  • Women want to feel important to you
  • Women love a man that makes them feel heard
  • Women value maturity

Read on below for an in-depth explanation for each of these qualities!

6 Things women want in a man!

#1 Women love a man that makes us feel safe.

This does not mean that you fight another man for us, or pick fights to show the girl you’re macho. Nothing like that at all! You don’t want to pick a fight with someone and show a woman that this is the way of you being macho. I can guarantee you the moment you do that, she’s dying to get away because that is exactly what you don’t want to do.

There are different ways you can show a woman that she can feel safe or secure around you. And it’s not about being physical. Let’s say you take her out to dinner, and you see she’s cold. Offer her your jacket. Or if you don’t have one, just ask the waiter if he can turn down the AC. This shows that you care about the way she feels. Make sure you hold her hand or even have her walk in front of you while you hold her waist in a crowded area. Ask her if she’s feeling okay and having a good time.

Also, walking her to her door, or even calling her an Uber and walking her to the Uber and asking her to text you when she gets home is a way that you set the boundaries for a woman to feel safe. Let’s say she forgets. She gets home, gives you about an hour, never texts you. This is when you text her. Maybe she fell asleep, but guess what? The moment she wakes up, she’s going to see a text from you, asking if she got home okay. This shows a woman you take control of her safety.

Also, a woman wants to know you will stand up for her and make sure she is treated well. Meaning, with friends, family, coworkers, everyone.

#2 Women love honesty and trust.

Trust. We love honesty, presence, and trust. So many men think that they have to play hard these days. I’m a true believer if a man and a woman really like each other, they do not play games because it interferes with trust, and sometimes honesty. You start building your foundation of trust by showing up to your dates on time and calling when you say you will.

Listen, women remember when you tell them, “I will call you tomorrow,” or saying, “I want to see you tomorrow.” So, if you say this, do it! I hear so many women dating men and they have a great date and the man says, “I would love to see you tomorrow.” She confirms politely, and the next day, he’s going to happy hour with his friends. This does not look good, guys! This is what happens in a woman’s mind when you do this: “He isn’t serious, and I don’t want to dedicate my time to him.” Men wonder why this happens, and it’s because a high-value woman will not want to set a date with a man that does not stick to his word.

Men, if you cannot stick to your word at the beginning of setting a date, then a woman is not going to take you seriously.

#3 Women love a man that can carry himself well.

Make your presence known. How you carry yourself matters. Walk into a room with her proudly. Introduce yourself to her friends with confidence, and maybe even tell a joke from time to time. A lot of men tend to think that presence is only about showing up, and yes it has a lot to do with showing up, but it’s about how you show up.

#4 Women want to feel important to you.

If you’re in a relationship, she wants to feel like she’s number one. You hear me, men? Women want to feel like they are number one. If all men could get this right, so many of us women would be happy. Tell her and show her you love her. You do this by involving her in things with your life, like work, your friends, family. Not only are you telling her, but you’re showing her too. She feels important when you’re including her in your life and you want her to be a part of it.

Open doors for her. Wait for her to sit down before she does. Offer to help her with bags in her hand, especially when she’s shopping. Men, a woman does not want to be carrying bags when she has a man that can be doing this for her. She does not want to be loading the luggage while you stand there and watch. These are just little ways of being a gentleman that shows her you’re there for her and wanting to help.

Compliment her and bring her flowers. Know her favorite color. Tell her what your favorite outfit on her is, and remember it. Know her favorite artists and buy her concert tickets. Remember what she likes. Make that masculine energy known.

#5 Women love a man that makes them feel heard.

Communication is key. Now, for my men in relationships, this is what I hear a lot: “I provide for her, and she has all the money to do all the activities she wants with her girlfriends, and she can shop whenever she wants. Why isn’t she happy?” This is where you get it wrong because it’s not about things. Women want to be heard. They want you to communicate with them. Don’t just come home, put on that TV, and just ask, “What’s for dinner?” Involve your partner in conversations when you get home. And yeah, I get it. Even if you have a hectic day and you don’t want to talk, because I know, we’ve all been there, this is when affection comes in. Just hug her, and kiss her, and tell her you love her. Tell her you had a hard day and you’re happy to see her. These are the things she is going to remember. I can guarantee you she will have a hot meal on that plate in no time. And if you’re lucky, maybe even a back rub.

#6 Women value maturity.

Most importantly, maturity. Maturity is sexy, guys. When speaking to so many women out there, the number one turn-off is a man that is immature. Call her and text her with conversations and not just one-line responses you can copy and paste to another girl. We want to see an effort. What I mean by this is don’t text her and say, “Hey, how are you doing?” She replies, and you never reply back. What is that? That’s not a sign of a loyal, respectful man. Get straight to the point, and do not sit there and text her all day. These types of virtual relationships are not healthy.

Now, there is a difference between dating someone for a while and texting a couple of times here and there. But I have seen so many people text all throughout the day. And what I mean by this is at least 20 text messages every 30 to 45 minutes throughout the day. Listen, a woman wants your attention, but a smart woman will see this as a red flag. So, don’t interrupt her day, especially if she’s on vacation with her girls or out with her girls for the day, whatever the case may be.

Men, don’t text a woman and ask her to meet you for a drink, and then say, “You’re buying,” then laugh afterward. I mean, the woman might offer to pay after your date, as she might want to escape as early as possible after going out with someone who isn’t maturely stable. But if you do want to come off as a mature man, don’t joke like this early on. Yes, I’ve seen this. It never works out well.

Also, please don’t tell her she’s beautiful just like your ex. Yes, I’ve seen this too. These are all clues of immaturity, and not somebody ready to settle down.

With maturity, a woman looks for a man who can provide. This isn’t always about money, men. We look for a man with ambition and determination. But let me be real with you, women want to know that you can handle their basic needs: dinner, travel, fun activities, and just simple, basic needs. Something that you can enjoy doing together. When getting in a relationship, many men I speak to date women sometimes that make more money than them, and that’s okay. But let me tell you something, men, this does not change the fact that women want to make sure she’s provided for. Do not make this a permanent habit. Depending on the situation, you might not always make more money than her. But you need to make sure you’re standing your ground and taking care of your part.

I see so many women helping their men out, and then they just become resentful. Listen to me, if there is anything you can do to stop this, you need to take control. Do not move into a woman’s house, use her car, and expect her to pay your phone bill. She will become resentful, and this is not the way a woman wants to be treated.

What women like: 5 things they notice right away!

#1 You have your own opinion.

Women do not want you to agree with them all the time. No one really wants that. Most people want to be able to have conversations and challenge their own thinking in order to be open to new ideas and the same holds true for women. We don’t want a doormat that we walk all over, we want someone that knows himself, knows what he stands for and knows how to use his voice. You’re allowed to speak your mind, guys! Just do it with respect and she’ll respect you right back.

#2 You know how to dress and you can dress well.

This isn’t just about making things look good on the outside. When a woman sees that you can dress well and you take the time to pay attention to details, so show up and be presentable, it shows a woman that you’re capable of paying attention to the details. That if you put care into how you present yourself, how you carry yourself, that same attention to detail and use of care and awareness is going to also be used in a relationship.

#3 You know how to communicate properly.

This also goes back to feeling safe with you, guys. A woman needs to know that if you get upset or frustrated, you’re not going to punch a wall or start becoming verbally abusive. That you are in control of your emotions and you’re not ruled by them, because that is unsafe. Women, at least high-value women, look for a man that when there is a disagreement, he is able to address it with compassion and communication, where you both look for a solution instead of just trying to be right.

#4 You have a purpose

This is a big one! Having passion in your life, having things that you love and being happy is huge for women. And also for you guys, too! It’s so important to understand that happiness comes from inside of you. If you’re not happy with yourself, with where you’re at in life and with what’s going on, a relationship is not going to make that better. In fact, a woman would walk away because if you’re not happy in your life and you’re putting too much pressure on her to fix you or make you happy, she’s going to become resentful and run in the opposite direction. This isn’t about owning a company or having billions of dollars, purpose means that you know what you offer in your career and you are happy with your life. It’s a huge attraction, this actually attracts people to you in general.

#5 You have manners

A woman will look at how you treat other people. Do you have a positive energy about you? Do you treat people with respect? Even when you think no one is looking. This shows her that she can be safe with you, emotionally safe with you. This one isn’t about whether or not you know which side of the plate the knife goes, this is about respect. Do you respect her and the people around you? This triggers her to picture how you’ll be with kids, with a relationship, with anything in life. So be sure to just treat everyone with respect, the same way that you would want to be treated.

Things a woman likes about a man

We like you to just be aware and be open. Women like when a guy knows himself has done the work on himself has things to teach her and knows who he is and what he brings to the table. Just think about what it is that you want, right? You want a woman who is emotionally available, knows who she is, is capable of being there for you and also confident, so just ask yourself, what am I really looking for in a relationship and in a partner and what do I need to grow in myself in order to get that and be at that level.

Maybe it’s learning how to take care of yourself more and go to the gym. Maybe it’s learning how to be honest and positive instead of being in a victim mentality and blaming the world instead of rising to the occasion. I talk about this a lot on my why women ghost blog that I would recommend if this has happened to you. Whatever it is, it’s great to take a hard look at yourself and then do the things you need to do in order to be the man you want to be that attracts the type of woman you want in your life.

Men, if you need some support in understanding women, please feel free to sign up for a quick 30 or 60-minute call or email consultation. We are more than happy to help you out. Also, check out this product on how to text a woman!

Sending you so much love and blessings.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti