The most important thing to think about when you think about an abundance mentality is the source of someone completely knowing who they are and stand confident in their beliefs, values, and insecurities. Abundance mentality does not mean that this is something that can be faked, it’s something that needs to be understood and then delivered! This blog is going to show you exactly the skill you need to tweak or build in your life moving forward so you can have this abundance mentality. Abundance mentality is something women love in a man and this is simply when you get your mindset and your life to start working for you

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Abundance Mentality Dating: Why Women Love This!

When it comes to dating, you might hear a lot of advice around the abundance mentality. This is needed in order to be successful with dating or scoring with women. Let me explain why a woman likes a man with an abundance mentality before I tell you how to get it or enhance it. To a woman, it shows us that you are emotionally stable and we start to see you as someone we can desire because you have emotional standards for yourself. You are driven within your own desire and happiness. You know that metaphor: like attracts like. Well, this is true. People naturally gravitate to positivity and happiness. Think of someone who motivates you in your life or someone you look up to that has accomplished great things. What do they have that makes you attracted to them. They have drive, perspective, confidence, self-worth, authenticity and most likely they are on their journey and they don’t let others affect them. This is the abundance mentality. As women, the reason why we gravitate towards this is that this is a HUGE part of masculine energy. Something the feminine is subconsciously and consciously attracted to. We look for a man that can protect us and that’s not by the physical aspect. Someone that we know will be a challenge and that we know is worthy. I always make analogies to better explain this. Think of a Honda CRV. It’s a reliable car and gets you from place to place. Now think of your favorite car. Mine is a Porsche. This is a luxury. It has so many elements to this car that makes it fantastic but also took time to build, isn’t like any other car, it feels amazing, looks and is expensive. Also, it’s more rewarding to receive it if you can because you know the trials and accomplishments you achieved to get this or have to achieve to get this, right? This is human psychology people! This comes down to women and men aka attraction! What we tend to forget is that love, mindset, and happiness requires work. There are so many people in life that think they’re entitled to get this. Why?? Because you were born? HECK NO!

Might sound kind of harsh but it’s realistic to everyone; everything requires work to have, upkeep or maintenance. EVERYTHING! So, if your sitting here thinking “women are too much work” this just means two things: 1. You’re lazy and haven’t really worked on understanding relationships, love, happiness and attraction 2. You don’t have an abundance mentality. So, women want a man (and the same for you men that are reading this), you want a woman that is different from the rest, right? So, it’s time to be different in your authentic way of understanding how to have an abundance mentality and stop making excuses on why you shouldn’t be that guy. Women are capable of respecting a man but you have to respect yourself first and then her.

Abundance and scarcity mentality

A lot of men I’ve coached have had issues with their scarcity mindset. With that said if you want to get better at dating, you have to do more then just learn “skill set techniques” you must get better at understanding who you are and do the real work of looking deeper within you. Techniques and skills can most definitely help but this is surface responses and helps you address surface issues, not core issues or core responses that can be inherited in you. Honestly, I believe that a lot of long-term dating problems have stemmed from technique-driven dating advice. Do I think this helps? “Yes,” but long term wise? No. It opens up the door. The philosophy behind this is called “inner game” which the community has called this. This is self-esteem and attitude; something no one else can maintain but you. Your standards and beliefs affect more than you realize within you and other people. Your views on life will literally map out your direction. The way you see your life, the world, and other people will be the filter for everything else in your life. So either you can have more negative and restrictive views and then the more people you interact with will have more negative and restrictive encounters. The more self-limiting beliefs you have around the world and people the harder of a time you’ll have dating. This is what I call the victim mentality. When you are in the scarcity mindset you see yourself as the victim always in your life and this comes down to your language as well. The idea of an abundance mindset is you are the player and you will choose what you want your next move to be without attaching someone’s else actions to your outcomes. Remember, people in life don’t do things to you, you let them. So self-limiting beliefs lock you into place and keep you from being able to progress. Adopting positive beliefs help liberate you and empower you to pursue your goals in ways you never thought were possible. So let’s talk about the most important ways in which you can apply and adopt an abundance mentality today!

The Scarcity Mindset:

Women are a limited resource

They think that they have to make this work with the ONE particular woman they have in front of them because this is the only opportunity. This is their last chance and they expect things to work out since this is something they NEED in order to feel “abundant”.

Looks at rejections and breakups negatively

Yes, this hurts but these are also our lessons. It bothers me that some people think that they will die alone, they give up on dating, or they’re just unloved because that ONE relationship or that ONE or FIVE women rejected them! Man, if I thought that every time a teacher told me I would never amount to something I wouldn’t be as successful as I am now. I used this for my fuel! Perspective is everything in getting out of victim mentality. When we experience something that didn’t work out it sucks yes, but it does not amount to what else is out there. You can’t blend water and oil, so if something does not work out you look at this as how you can do better and not hang on to this as this is your last hope for air! Rejection does not mean that your increase in celibacy will go up! It will actually get you more results if you go out and try to get rejected more.

Holding back in social development

You made the decision a while ago that you were shy, that you have approach anxiety. Well, even though this could be true, we have to push through this and make a new decision. You’ve hibernated and played it safe because pushing yourself to be more interactive with people is hard so you choose the easy route to not do this. So, what happens is the one time you get that interaction with a colleague or a woman you develop obsessive thinking and cannot pick up on social cues, and signs they give you since this is the first woman you’ve talked to or showed you interest in months or years! So now she’s the one! No!


This stems from thinking that this someone is your “last chance” or this is the person that holds your happiness. Also, neediness stems from not thinking you deserve this person which is the exact opposite of the abundance mentality. You convince yourself that it’s going to disappear and you’ll be lonely if you don’t lock it down NOW! As a result – you become clingy and needy, constantly texting and calling and poking her on Facebook, with each unanswered message making you even more nervous and convinced that something is wrong. You take personal offense to things that don’t go your way and you have EXTREMELY high expectations on how things need to be right here and right now. Of course, this becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as that behavior is precisely what drives women away.

Abundance mentality meaning vs scarcity meaning

The abundance mentality is a simple belief that there are plenty of amazing women out there to date. Your perspective is about positivity and you are a player in your life and not a victim. While rejection and heartbreak do hurt- it certainly does not mean that it’s the end of the world! Life must go on. Abundance mentality in rejection simply means that rejection is NOT one step closer to celibacy or forever being alone, it’s one more person who wasn’t right for you but puts you closer to mastering your abundance cause you look at this as how you could have done better or that it’s no big deal. The difference here, especially with rejection, is to STOP thinking there is ONE chance and instead there are MANY. There are many women out there that can be compatible and you believing that will attract them to you. When you don’t believe it does the opposite. You’ll filter what you believe. This means that you stop stressing yourself over whether or not she’s going to flake on your date, worrying that you’re going to say the wrong thing, she doesn’t reply to your text all the time, or you already expect for this girl to be your girlfriend without her even knowing. You get hyper-focused on the story and not the reality and staying in the present moment. When you do this the obsessive thoughts take the center stage. So what you must do is not stress yourself out and be in the present moment!

Abundance mentality 7 habits to cultivate abundance

Retrain your brain

Shift your thinking to positivity. Negative thinking is a habit. We are not born to think negatively. We allow it to be there. Just like fear. Fear is an illusion we create. You have to become more mindful of your thoughts and patterns and shift these around. Hear them and literally shift these thoughts to something better.

Know your standards:

This is key to abundance! A man with standards will be his own filter without working for or chasing women. When you take pride in understanding your standards and what those are, then it shows a big amount of self-respect for yourself. Women will be drawn to this cause they look at you like the “Porsche”, the ones that are luxurious and has a component to them like no one else does.

Practice Gratitude:

Be thankful for everything you have in life. A lot of us tend to forget about the small things. Just the fact that you have the eyes to read this blog is a big one. The fact that you have water to drink daily. So many things to be thankful for!

Stop comparing your faults to other people’s success:

Stop doing this! Your personal journey is supposed to be different from everyone else. If you compare yourself to someone who is abundant instead of looking at them on how you can learn then you will be in the same place you were before. Remember, you’re the driver no one else is.

Stop hiding in a bubble:

Be observant of things around you and start understanding more about social cues. Ask questions and get involved with other things and people in your life. Especially the ones that bring you up and the ones you can learn from. You have to build some type of social momentum. Live with purpose or find your purpose.  That does not mean staying at home playing video games and just having online friends. This means getting out there and really interacting with people and connecting.

Emotional Balance and Control:

Let’s say a woman stands you up on a date. Ok well, mentally you might say, “I’ll wait for another hour. If she doesn’t show up, oh well, I will move on.” Someone with a scarcity mindset will get mad and possibly react by texting her with anger. Why? Because he anticipated the date as the highlight of his week! So he is going to desperately salvage it and continue to enable these bad behaviors on his part and hers. Also, let’s say you went on a couple of dates with a woman and you’re two weeks in. You both have talked about a relationship and it’s just so amazing. Then she ghosts you. She never replies. Ok well, now you think, “it’s her loss and I move on.” When we get into a scarcity mindset we react and call her out on why she should respond to you. But yet you only dated for two weeks and this is not enough time. This was all words and it takes longer to see someone’s actions. Also, something that happens often with clients is the woman will actually write to them and say she does not see a future with him. Now, his ego kicks in because he’s in scarcity and replies back trying to convince her (this is in the initial stages, not a relationship) or tries to call her out and put it back on her saying something like “yeah right you’re going back to your ex” or “ yea I wasn’t feeling you either.” No emotional control. This is a lack.

Learns and Understands Attraction:

Takes pride in social and personal development. Women want a man that they can also learn from at different levels just like you would want in a woman. So invest in making yourself better, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Somebody with an abundance mentality won’t invest so much importance in the date in the first place. Also, they understand their value and look at women as let’s see if she can meet me where I’m at in my life. Dates are something to definitely look forward to, but without the pressure. Remember rejection also works in your favor. Instead of wasting your time with someone who isn’t willing to invest a little of theirs, you save yourself time. At least you know right away! It’s all about the shift in perspective. People with an abundance mentality have more dates and better love lives than those with a scarcity mentality. People in scarcity mindsets find themselves in toxic relationships. Abundance mentality people don’t settle so they find themselves in interdependence relationships. Women respond to men with an abundance mentality – after all, that belief in abundance is a critical part of the confidence and, as I say over and over again, confidence is sexy.
As a woman, I know and this is something many men haven’t caught on to yet. Now you have since you’ve read this so let’s put these tips into action now! Let’s realize now how amazing this world is and how impactful this mentality will be and let’s change your life.

You are always loved.

Your coach,

Apollonia Ponti