Ghosting, the new phenomenon. You’ve been ghosted, right? For the most part, everyone has experienced ghosting in one form or another. This is simply when one person suddenly just disappears from communication and ignores any kind of reach out. It can leave you feeling confused, frustrated and even going crazy with replaying conversations in your head trying to explain what could have led to this or if it was your fault. In this article, I’m going to break down why people ghost and what to do about it when it happens to you.

Ghosting People | Why It Happens…

This literally happens so much. It’s a phenomenon that both men and women experience. I’ve even been ghosted before. So let’s just say it happens to almost everybody. The biggest thing I want you to understand before we go into the reasons why that you’re being ghosted, I don’t want you to look at ghosting as you’re not valuable or you’re not enough for a woman or you’re a guy that’s never going to get a girl or you’re not worthy of love because a lot of us attach someone else’s behaviors to our own outcome of life, of what we want.

I’m going to repeat this. We attach someone else’s behaviors to what we want as our outcome of life. So what happens here? It puts our truest desires on hold because we gave the freedom to some else to make that choice for us. So that’s why I want to kind of break this down and say this first because what I see a lot of times is when women and men (and it doesn’t matter because it happens on both sides) when people get ghosted they attach a lot of that to their own self-worth. And I want you to understand that relationships and dating takes work. You learn from your mistakes. Everything is lessons in life and that’s why you’re here. You’re learning. At least you’re five steps ahead of so many other people because you’re reading this article.

Why Do People Ghost You: 4 Reasons Why They Do!

Reason #1 She’s doesn’t take you seriously.

One of the biggest reasons I see women ghosting men is because of the fact that they can’t take you seriously. Let’s tackle this one first so you know how to move in the right direction! These are two ways that women won’t be able to take you seriously and it’s because one of the reasons, you’re coming off like you’re just hanging out for fun. It seems like you’re just having fun and she can’t take you seriously and you seem like you’re “player,” type. Or two, you’re too available. So you continue to just be passive and go with the flow of things and it doesn’t give her anything to work for. It’s not exciting.

So those are the two reasons why a woman will typically ghost you. If this is something that happens to you often, if this rings a bell, those are the two reasons why a woman would typically ghost you when it comes to how you show up.

Reason #2 You didn’t set any boundaries on what you wanted.

Another tip in regards to ghosting and why she would be ghosting you is because you didn’t set the boundaries, you didn’t set the ground rules on what it is that you wanted, you’re not showing her that you know what you wanted. You didn’t sexually escalate. You didn’t escalate at all. You didn’t pursue. You didn’t do this. You were just kind of really like I said in tip one, going with the flow or you showed her that you were overcompensating.

Reason #3 You were overcompensating to impress her.

And this leads me into tip three. You were overcompensating to impress her. You were trying to impress her to try to make her see your own self-worth. So women can feel this and the way you don’t do this is by making sure that you only focus on the present moment with a woman instead of getting attached to an unnecessary outcome.

Reason #4 People don’t like confrontation.

A lot of people ghost because they don’t like confrontation. And a lot of times it’s easier just to say bye and disappear because of the fact that they don’t have to confront you about it. So they just stop returning your calls. They don’t text you. They might even avoid you when they see you out because a lot of times people in this world don’t like confrontation and that’s huge.

It’s easier just to ghost someone than it is to say I don’t want to be with you or I don’t like you anymore. And yeah, it’s not an excuse and I’m not giving an excuse to okay this, but at the same time understand that you don’t always know what the other person really, intentionally wants until time goes on. So this person might not have been ready for a relationship or wanted to just have fun. Who knows? But the idea here that I want to give you and for you to remember is not only to detach from this, don’t attach this outcome to your existence, but also understand that a lot of people ghost because they don’t like confrontation.

Why Do Women Ghost! The REAL Reason!

There are a few reasons why a woman will ghost you. If she feels like you’ve been too much too soon, this can make her feel like you’re not emotionally stable and solid. A woman in this position might ghost because she’s either afraid of hurting your feelings or she feels like you won’t listen to her and you’ll keep trying.

There might also be things that she’s said that indicated this was coming, too. If she kept canceling plans or said that you guys should slow down or that it was too much too soon, these are indicators that you’re moving too quickly and rushing things and she’s feeling it.

This is why it’s important to allow yourself to get to know someone and not just get caught up by a pretty face, right? You have to see if this person and you match and are on the same level. Just because someone is going out on a date, that doesn’t mean that they’re looking for marriage or a relationship. The same is also true for guys, some guys go out on a date but that doesn’t mean they’re ready for a relationship, either. So know that you have to really get to know the person sitting across from you because they might not even know that they’re not ready. And it’s up to you to find out if you guys are looking for the same things in life.

Another reason why women ghost is because she feels like if she tells you, you’ll just try to convince her otherwise and she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Again, this is also like reason number 4, people just don’t like confrontation. She doesn’t want to have to explain herself or feel like you’re going to beg in any way, so she decides to pull a disappearing act to avoid all of that. It’s still not okay, but sometimes people do this because they think it’s easier on someone and less mean. Remember, everyone is just trying to do their best in life and we all make mistakes.

What Does it Mean When Someone Ghosts You!

Ghosting is huge in our modern-day society and I want you to really focus on how to prevent this from happening. But also too, how to prevent yourself from attaching to the ghosting moment because a lot of times when someone ghosts you, it just means that they weren’t capable of telling you that they’re either not ready or they’re not interested.

That’s really the thing it boils down to, guys. There’s no big secret behind this or any need to dig in and read into this. It really sucks, don’t get me wrong, speaking from experience, but it also shows that that person is not the person for you. When someone ghosts you, it’s because they were too afraid to say that they’re not interested in continuing or they realized that they’re not ready for a relationship and they were only looking to have fun.

Decide what it is that you want. Stick to your values and your morals. If there are things that you feel like contributing to the ghosting, then you know where to start with what to work on, right? If you were too open and available, then work on loving your life and building hobbies and not canceling plans you’ve made with other friends for a date. At least don’t do that constantly. A woman loves when a man has his own life going. If she didn’t take you seriously, then start looking at being more open and honest, showing a more vulnerable side, if you’re looking for a relationship.

The main thing to take away from this, guys, is don’t take this personally. Ghosting is more about the other person and how the other person chooses to respond and react to things. The best thing to do is to learn from this and know that you are enough. Keep growing.

If you liked today’s article, drop a comment below and let me know if this has happened to you and what you do to not take it personally. Remember you are always loved.

Your coach,
Apollonia Ponti