How To Know If A Girl Is Interested! 10 Signs She’s Interested!
In today’s day and age, it’s hard to gauge whether or not a girl is really into you. Sometimes a girl is just nice or friendly or has a naturally flirtatious personality and it’s difficult to tell if she’s actually interested or not. Other times, a girl with an outgoing personality will start to avoid flirtatious behavior because it was too often misinterpreted. Even if she’s interested, she might not be obvious about it… It all seems so complicated sometimes, but is there really a way to know if she likes you or not if she doesn’t say it outright?
If you’ve been wondering about how to know if a girl is interested, you’ve come to the right place!
In this article, I am going to explore the obvious signs and the very subtle signs that a woman is interested in being more than just friends with you. Some of the things that you’re going to learn in this article might actually even surprise you! As an added bonus, I’m going to add a section on what to do if you want to make her fall for you… So without further ado, let’s get started!
How to tell if a girl is interested: Why is it so hard sometimes?!
A lot of women run into the problem of having their outgoing personality being misinterpreted as an invitation or as flirtatious behavior when in reality they just like being friendly. The result is that many of them feel like they shouldn’t be so open, and subsequently become a little bit more closed off. This makes it hard for you to figure out if she likes you or not.
Perhaps the issue is a bit different for you. Maybe you know someone and she’s caught your eye. She has that magnetic personality and that million-dollar smile, and you feel your heartbeat a little bit faster each time you see her. She’s funny and whenever she smiles at you you get that fluttering feeling in your stomach… Thing is, she’s got that open, inviting personality with everyone. She’s just the kind of person that everyone loves to be around.
So how can you tell if she’s smiling at you because she likes you or because she’s nice? How can you tell if she puts her hand on your arm when you make her laugh because she’s into you or because she’s just affectionate with her friends?
And more importantly – how can you tell if you’ve been friend-zoned?!
If you are a guy that wants to never be in the friend zone again, download this product by clicking here!
The other things that complicate matters are that people are all so different. Everyone has their own way of communicating their feelings and everyone is going to have their own little characteristics that differentiate them from everyone else. It’s going to be up to you to pay attention to these things.
If you already know her pretty well, this is going to be easier for you, but if this is someone that you don’t know that well yet you’re going to have to pay attention and observe how she acts around you compared to how she acts around other people. Just be careful to not watch her every move and make her feel like you’re surveying her…!
It’s also important to be realistic and not convince yourself that she likes you if in fact, she doesn’t like you that way… I know that sounds harsh, but that doesn’t mean that you can’t change the way she feels about you! You just need to be aware of what she’s truly feeling so that you know how to plan accordingly.
If she’s into you, (unless she’s someone who loves to play games…) there will be conscious signs that she’ll send you that indicate sexual or romantic interest, but also subconscious ones. So let’s look at how to know if a girl is interested in you.
How to know if a girl is interested: 10 telltale signs
I know you’re hoping to find some positive signs she’s flirting with you and you don’t want to be lead on. You don’t want the girl you like to allow you to think she likes you too because she’s too nice to flat out reject you. You’d rather know for sure because then you could choose whether you want to give up and move on, or change your plan of action and get her to fall for you!
In the following two sections, you’ll find clear signs that she’s into you, but also signs that are a little less obvious that should be taken into consideration as well.
One of the main things to keep in mind is that most of these signs are going to be non-verbal. If she told you, “I have feelings for you,” or “I’d like to be with you,” you already have your answer! But chances are that if you’re reading this article that hasn’t happened (yet!) so let’s take a look at what you should be on the lookout for.
If you recognize a multiple of the following indicators of interest, chances are that she’s definitely into you!
Obvious signs a girl is interested
Makes sure you know that she’s single: Perhaps she’s gone out of her way to let you know that she’s available. Has she told you that she isn’t dating anyone or asked whether or not you have someone special in your life? She could be dropping hints that she likes you … This is especially true if talking about how single she is doesn’t really fall in line with the topic of conversation. Chances are she just wants to make sure she has a chance to let you know that she’s available.
Loves spending time with you: One of the biggest telltale signs that she’s into you is if she really enjoys spending time with you and reaches out to you on a regular basis. If she wasn’t into you, she wouldn’t go out of her way to see you.
First to reach out: Similarly, if she has feelings for you, she will be the one to initiate a conversation or hanging out.
Always in touch: When a woman has feelings for you, she’s not going to disappear off of the face of the earth!
Touches you a lot: When you want to know: how to tell if a girl is interested in you, look at how tactile or reserved she is when you’re talking to each other. If you’re close enough to hug when you see each other, is she enthusiastic about the hug, does she let it linger, or does she give you a quick little pat on the back before promptly pulling away? Does she touch your arm or your knee during a conversation? If she’s tactile with you it could mean that she’s into you!
Teases/flirts/compliments you: When a girl is into you, she’ll be playful with you and/or compliment you. This way she can gauge where you stand as well, so don’t take it too personally if she’s teasing you!
Her friends hint at it: If you’re friends with her friends and they start dropping hints like telling you she’s single, or that you two were so cute at that party the other night, they might be doing it so that you realize she’s into you.
How to tell if she’s interested: Subtle signs
Asking personal questions: If she asks you a lot of questions about your life and the things you like to do, it means that she’s interested in who you are as a person. If she didn’t like you she wouldn’t really care, so she wouldn’t go out of her way to find out more about you or carry on the conversation.
Eye contact: A person who isn’t into you is going to avoid looking you directly in the eye. They will try to avoid your gaze as much as possible. That said, some people are bashful and her feelings for you might make her nervous – which is another reason why she would avoid eye contact. Pay attention to see if you see other indicators that she likes you as well and you’ll have a better idea of what she’s feeling for you!
Mimics you: We subconsciously mimic the people that we are interested in. Pay attention to whether she touches her hair a few moments after you do, or if she does the same things with her arms that you are while you’re talking. You know the saying: imitation is the most sincere form of flattery!
Licking or touching her lips: She might be consciously or subconsciously trying to bring your attention to her lips. If you’re not sure whether she’s trying to be seductive or if it’s a nervous tick, just pay attention to whether or not she does it around other people as well.
Body language: Keep an eye out for “open postures.” Think uncrossed arms, sitting facing you, eye contact, leaning in… If her body language is telling you that she’s open to continuing the conversation with you, she might be interested!
Not sure if she is interested? Here is what you need to do
If after reading these indicators your gut is telling you that she might not be interested, don’t worry. There are all kinds of things that you can do to make her change her mind and fall for you. If you’d like one on one guidance every step of the way, don’t hesitate to reach out to me directly here!
If you still aren’t sure, here are some signs that she might not be that into you:
She avoids you: If you’re always trying to make plans with her and she always manages to say no or wiggle out of them, she may not really want to spend time with you.
She talks about other guys to you: If she’s talking about how attractive this guy at her job is or how she’s really into the guy she’s started seeing, it could be her way of letting you know that she’s into someone else.
She doesn’t make an effort to get to know you better: If she never asks you about yourself or if she doesn’t seem to be interested in the things you share about yourself, it could mean that she’s not interested.
She never touches you: This will depend from person to person, but if she’s a generally affectionate person and never touches you (or quickly gets out of hugs), it could mean that she doesn’t like you like that…
You are just being the nice guy towards her.
That said, the single most important thing that you can do in order to be attractive to other people is to be happy and satisfied in your own life. If you’re feeling happy and confident, you’ll attract people like moths to a flame!
If you try to convince her to like you by being needy, clingy, or omnipresent, it’s going to be an instant turn off. She’s not going to want to be with someone who’s desperate to be around her. She’s going to want someone who is loving life; someone who inspires her to be a part of it.
There are so many things that you can do to become more attractive in her eyes, and if you want to read a more in-depth article on the subject all you have to do is click here.
I sincerely wish you all the best!
All my best,
Your coach for knowing how to tell if a girl is interested,
Sign up for a coaching session with Apollonia or her team here!
Sign Up For Newsletter
This podcast is here to help inspire you in your life and better understand your relationships so you can maximize the potential of your love life along with your personal life. What you will find here is dating, relationship, and life advice from your host along with some amazing interviews with some pretty amazing experts!
Hi Apollonia – women send signals to men they are attracted to – and not to those they are not. I can honestly say that I have never gotten any of these signals from a woman in my life; in fact women have always completely ignored me. I have two questions for you: 1. Are there some guys who – realistically – just never get signals from any woman? 2. Since no woman has ever shown interest in me, is it reasonable to conclude that I am simply not attractive to women, and therefore it is not worth approaching in the first place?
Hi Rex. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Know If a Girl is Interested. To answer your questions, absolutely not! It might be a matter of what kind of energy you’re putting out there. How you honestly feel about yourself attracts people. I would really recommend booking a private coaching session to better understand what’s going on and help coach you through. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ But definitely don’t give up hope.
Hi Apollonia – I have never attracted a woman in my life because other guys are by definition more attractive than me. As long as there’s another guy that a woman can choose, she’ll always select him. That’s the evidence I’ve always seen – and as I said before, no woman has ever given the slightest signal she’s interested. I’m invisible.
Hi Rex. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Know if a Girl is Interested. What you think and how you feel attracts things in to your life to confirm it. I’m sure you’ve also seen less attractive guys get gorgeous women, this happens all of the time. Women do not base partners off of physical the same way that men do.
This is mostly about your perception of yourself. You attract how you really feel about yourself, and this can absolutely be changed. I would look at Mastering Your Confidence audio seminar https://www.apolloniaponti.co/master-your-confidence-myc If you’d like more advice and guidance through this I would recommend doing a private coaching session. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
Thanks for this Apollonia – and happy New Year. The fact is, I am unattractive and nothing could ever change this. Going back to when I was a child, there has never been one shred of evidence that I am – or could be – attractive. Nobody has ever wanted me and therefore I have no basis on which to build confidence.
Hi Appolonia ponti does this girl loves because she took a picture of me using her iPhone when I wasn’t aware and she always walks nears me where I am seated plus she always looks at me but the thing is I don’t know her she works at a wetzel pretzels and I see her when I go to the mall and probably she talks about me to her coworkers because they always stare at me?
Hi Francisco, thank you for taking the time to read How to Know if a Girl is Interested. It sounds like this girl might be interested in getting to know you. If you find her attractive or want to get to know her more, ask her out!
I have a girlfriend but I noticed that she will never call me until when she needs something like money or good.how should I know or get her maybe she is in love with me or another guy.
Apollonia, I have read and re-read the article and I still can’t be conclusive. Some of the signs are there but others aren’t. And, to make things worse, a third party got herself involved and may have negatively influenced the situation. My intuition tells me this third party may have actually became jealous and sabotaged my potential relationship before it ever got started. If I attempt to get to the truth and I am wrong about everything, I will look foolish and possibly lose two friends. So I have done nothing for a long time and no progress has been made. Intellectually, I know I should just let it go but something (my ego, perhaps) won’t let me do it. Very confusing.
Hi apolonia ponti I have another question for you there is this girl she is shy but from afar
she always looks at me but up close she ignores me and this couple of times she walks with her mom but close in proximity where I park my car when I am unloading groceries from my car. is this a shy girl that loves me ? One last thing she quickly darts her eyes when she stares at me when I catch her doing this .should I ask her out?
Hi Francisco, thank you for reading How to Know If A Girl is Interested! Yes! Ask her out. You’ll find out for sure either way.
Hi Apollonia –
Lots of folks online say that often a woman may be secretly interested in a guy and waiting for him to do something, but when he doesn’t do anything, she moves on. The way I see it, making a move on a woman who isn’t interested in me is likely to get me accused of sexual harassment in today’s society. I never get the signals women give guys they like, and I’m totally unable to make women interested in/attracted to me, so I don’t make moves. Am I stuck for good?
Hi Matthias, thank you for taking the time to read How to Know if A Girl is Interested. I can understand the frustration with that. I would focus on switching your mentality. How you feel about yourself in the inside really does attract people or push them away. You are not stuck for good. I would look at the Mastering Your Confidence audio seminar https://www.apolloniaponti.co/master-your-confidence-myc or for more advice and coaching through this, I would suggest booking a private coaching session. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
Hello Apollonia, Many sources tell guys that they cannot make a woman be attracted to them if she just does not see them in that way.” Guys are also told that they need to create a foundation for earning the woman’s trust and to ensure that she feels comfortable around him – this is required for true magic to happen. I have a lot of women friends, who trust and are very comfortable around me – but because I am of zero sexual interest to any woman, “magic” never happens. None of this has anything to do with my looks, appearance, fitness, education, employment, or income. I’ve seen therapists, counsellors and even paid dating coaches to help me. Nothing has changed. I am obviously fundamentally unattractive as a sexual person and – clearly – no amount of coaching could ever change that. Women just never see me *that* way – many have told me that they would *like* to see me that way, but they just don’t, so nothing ever happens.
Hi Marty. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Know if A Girl is Interested. This really sounds more like a matter of how you see yourself and how you truly feel about yourself. People are attracted to energy, especially women. Have you ever naturally gravitated towards some people and then with others thought to yourself “I don’t think I like that person.”?
This is mostly because of how we truly feel about ourselves and the energy we give off. You can do all of the exercising you want, but if your mindset it “no one will find me sexually attractive” then you’re going to subconsciously attract people who confirm it. It works the same way with getting in to abusive relationships.
I suggest doing daily affirmations and changing what your head is telling you. Take the 3 repeating negative sayings that you hear in our head, and turn them in to the exact opposite and say them to yourself (especially in front of a mirror) daily. It’s going to feel weird at first but keep going. You deserve everything in life, and you can absolutely have it.
Hi Apollonia – thanks for your response. Tbh, I really don’t gravitate toward anyone and interacting with others has always been uncomfortable for me – approaching people is difficult for me and women I like painfully so. Luckily my profession requires only minimal human interaction and so i do very well at it. As I said, I’ve seen therapists, counsellors and even paid dating coaches to help me – and I’ve tried the daily affirmations approach too – but nothing has changed. I have several women friends but have never experienced intimacy – because women don’t see me ‘that’ way. And I would never tell anyone how I feel about them.
Hi appolonia ponti I want to know is this girl just being friendly or does she like?
She works at a store and when I needed help she personally helped me and she started asking
my name and after that we were talking for a while and then she told me if I needed help in finding something to ask her right away.
Hi Apollonia – Do you believe that *all* men can be attractive to women?
Hi Gerry. Thank you for taking the time to read How to know if a girl is interested. Absolutely, there is someone out there for everyone. It takes doing the work, building your confidence and challenging the negative thoughts in your mind (finding out where they come from so they are no longer ruling your life and your love life!)
Recently, a former female coworker has been contacting me with text and was wondering how I was doing! We had not contact in about in 2 months, previously. I was using the no contact rule with her. She is now texting me about every 2 – 3 days. She texts me at night and on the weekends! I did text her back recently and she said we should meet up together on a Saturday as soon as possible!
What do you think her interest level is? or her motive is to see me?
Hi Rich. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Know If A Girl is Interested. It looks like she is interested! I would look at getting the Escalation Cheat Sheet https://www.apolloniaponti.co/escalation-cheat-sheet
The only way to find out is to go out on that date and escalate. If it doesn’t work out, you tried and found out! And there are plenty of women out there.
I did text her back about a week ago! This is what I texted her. Hi, her name, How was your workday? I hope you had a great day! You mentioned about getting together on a Saturday. Just let me know when you are available?
She has not texted me back in a week. Is she playing games with me! Should, I just let her go or wait for a text back from her?
Hi Rich. If she hasn’t texted you back, let her go and ask someone else out on a date! Keep going!
Thank you for your response!
Since no woman will ever be into me, there’s no point looking for signs. I have many women friends, some of whom in the past, for whatever reason, suddenly cut me off after a while. As far as I’m concerned, since there is no clear evidence to the contrary, women are only interested in being friends with me and nothing more. Since rejection would always be guaranteed, I never approach or express any sexual interest in women, even if I’m actually very interested.
Hi Gavin. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Know If a Girl is Interested. Women are very attuned to energy and how a man feels about himself. I would really suggest learning to find the confidence in yourself and falling in love with yourself. The energy you give off can either push people away or pull them to you. You’ve noticed this I’m sure with people you meet. You’ve either gravitated towards someone or wanted to walk away from them without even saying a word. Try taking yourself out on dates and doing affirmations. Change how you really feel on the inside and watch how everything changes for you on the outside.
Hi Apollonia – thank you for your response. Do you have any idea why some women who have been friends in the past, have suddenly cut me off after a while?
Hi Gavin. I would need to know more information in order to help with that. I would suggest booking a private coaching session. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
Hi Apollonia – even if women are attuned to energy and are attracted to a guy, still has to express his feelings first. I would never express interest in anyone because I will not allow myself to be accused. No woman ever gives me a sign she even sees me – and even if I were to think I *might* be getting a sign, it would never be clear enough to convince me to act.
Hi Apollonia – you speak of energy in many of your pieces and responses to questions. For years I worked on myself and put myself out there, talking to women and asking them out, but only got a very few dates and nothing ever went anywhere. Over the years, it has become clear that no woman could ever be interested in me sexually, and after all the misery I went through, I no longer look for signs. My women friends sometimes tell me that a woman they know is interested in me, but I’m past the point where I can believe it’s even possible and so never do anything – what’s the point? I never approach any woman no matter how attractive I find her because life has taught me that some guys can attract women while other guys – like me – are born with zero chance no matter what.
Hi Apollonia – I may (or may not) get signals from women. My friends tell me I do get – what I consider very ambiguous – signs of interest from women, but they are never clear enough for me to act. I am not going to play games or put myself in a position where I could be accused. Am I doomed to be alone?
Hi Apollonia – you could list 1000 signs men get from women. None of them apply to me because no woman ever notices I exist as a sexual person. I have many women friends but never anything beyond totally platonic friendship. I wish people online would stop saying/implying that everyone can be sexually attractive to someone. The observable fact is that some of us cannot and it is very painful knowing that I am one of them.
Thank you for writing to us.
Please be careful how you talk to yourself, YOU are listening!
Take advantage of our amazing content on our youtube videos and podcast and continue your personal growth.
Anybody is capable of accomplishing anything if they would believe they can.
Best of luck with everything and please know we are here to help in any way we can 🙂
Yes, this female coworker, I have worked in past has got in contact with me once again! She wanted to know if I could write her a letter of recommendation for her and asked another favor!
Since then she has sent me lengthy texts and said she owes me one! Does mean she is interested in again?
In addition, we have been texting back and forth with long lengthy texts lately and have talked on the phone recently. She replies quickly back when I text her! So is there interest on her end?
I hope you are doing well.
Well, this same female coworker recently told me it was so good to hear from me, after I texted her. She said, when it is safe to meet because of (Covid) she and I need to meet up for lunch or a cup of coffee so we can catch up. She said she has so much to tell me!
Does this mean she is interested in me again?
Hi, i’m getting mixed signals, with her conversating and initiating plans with me, talking about life and future, and other good sign stuff but also avoiding to give any obvious signals. But her body language is totally closed, she avoids eye contact (she looks away as i start looking at her) and avoids touching at all. I don’t even know if it’s worth pursuing this girl as i already tried before and she rejected me (i think because of needyness or external reasons, stayed as “friends”) but as i stopped talking to her for a few months she comes to invite me out, what do i do?
Thank you so much for reaching out to us! I know our coaches would love to help you with this. I would highly suggest you book a coaching session with us so we can know exactly what your situation is in order to help you through this.