How To Attract Women. 10 Proven Techniques To Be Irresistible To Women!

What do women want? The million-dollar question! As a man, you are always wondering why women don’t just come out and tell you what they want so you can learn how to attract women. But, it’s not that easy. If you knew how to attract women, it would become repetitive and boring. Then, you wouldn’t be able to spot that special woman out of the millions that are out there!

So, as a woman myself, I am going to tell you EXACTLY how to attract women and talk a little about the different behavioral traits of women and men. If this is your first time on my website please feel free to explore all my other blogs, as my studies are based on coaching thousands of men on how to attract women, interviewing thousands of woman all over the world, licensed certified coaching, and studying human behaviors and emotional intelligence.

As you can see, I’m not just a coach writing a blog. My content is based on fact, and though you might not always like what you read, it’s the truth! My goal is to help you to understand how a woman’s mind works, how she thinks, and how to gage her attraction for you. If you follow the steps I will share in this article, the woman will either make a move on you or become more open to communicating with you in a way that shows her interest for you.

I welcome your comments and questions about how to attract women below. I will answer your questions and share any advice needed. Your comments are always appreciated!

Attracting women: 2 False beliefs that men have!

What do women want? All men have asked this. Typically as a man you want to feel as though the woman respects you, honors you, and, sexually desires you. You’re thinking that this could be so much easier, so why do women have 100 other things that they want from a man? Well, I hate to break it to you handsome, that’s really not the case. We just want to see what you’re all about when it comes to life and I am going to cover this in my 10 ways to attract a woman below. Men miss out on dating women when they have the following 2 false beliefs.

False Belief #1: You have to have money. This is the biggest false belief out there known to man! Before you roll your eyes at me, read on so I can break this down for you a bit!

I am not saying there aren’t any women out there that aren’t just attracted to money because there most certainly are. Does money help status? Sure. But if you don’t have the qualities, a well put together woman isn’t going to put up with your bullshit and money will only keep her around temporarily. A man who thinks that he has to be rich and buy women things is lacking confidence in himself. A man with healthy self-esteem with money knows his value and worth do not depend on his bank account.

When a man tells me that women are only attracted to the money, he usually fits into two categories. One, he’s been hurt before. He just came out of a really bad breakup, bad divorce, or two, was played by a woman that was a gold digger. Guys, if you have been played by a golddigger it’s because you skipped the part about really getting to know who the woman in front of you was. You just went after her because she was a 10, pretty, with a hot body and maybe play a game of hard to get. DING DING DING!?

“Damn Apollonia, you really know what you’re talking about.” No kidding! If I haven’t convinced you yet about attracting women, and if she’s using you, then read the blog that I wrote all about this. Anyways, it’s safe to say that you have to do the work and ask the woman the right questions as well as determine her intentions.

False Belief # 2: You have to be a tall guy. I mean, come on! This is just crazy to me considering that only 14.5% of men are over 6 FT in the US population! So, consider that 49.2% of the human population in the United States are men and the ratio of single women is even higher…

So if the statistics did not convince you, I can let you in on a little secret. A woman in her early 20’s might be attracted to a man that’s tall or/and well-off. The reason? It’s because she is finding out a lot about herself and typically in America, this is the time during which a woman just likes to have fun. She’s exploring new things about herself and her life, and she does not want to settle down yet.

She also knows that this is her prime time and she can basically have any man. The fact that she is not worried about settling down makes her even more attractive. The key here is that women are just intrigued by a man’s height because it does not happen often. In regards to building a sustainable emotional connection with a man, a mentally-mature woman does not care about your height.

It’s about how you view yourself and how you position yourself, which is something we will go over a little further down. This is what attracts women!

10 Ways To Attract Women.

#1 Purpose:

Confidence is an irresistible trait but it’s hard to have when you are not aligned with your purpose. Purpose is having your eye on something that fulfills you and not letting anyone stand in the way of that. I like to break down the meaning of purpose like this: Productive, Understanding by, Right, Picking, Of, Someone’s, Excellence. This does not mean that you have to quit your 9-5 and start something that fulfills you. No, it means planning and investing time in what fulfills you. What is your passion and how can you start investing time in it? Finding your purpose can take time, but it requires you to be honest with yourself.


#2 Honesty and Communication:

Being unapologetically honest shows confidence and also shows a woman that you have a lot of dignity. Having your own opinion shows a woman that you aren’t just trying to impress and please her. Of course, you want to respect her but you also have to challenge her. What happens in a woman’s mind when you do this is that she understands that you have a sense of pride and are grounded in who you are. When you are open to communication and showing honesty, it builds an emotional connection with a woman.


#3 Manners:

It’s very attractive when you have a sense of pride in the way you treat others. In a woman’s mind, this is a direct reflection of your character and future respect for her. So, if both of you are out to dinner and you’re being rude to your waiter, then this is a big red flag for us!


#4 Stay Educated:

A woman wants to be able to have conversations with a man that she can exchange with and learn from. She wants a man that will be able to share advice, but also some personal things that he has been taught. This builds a connection and shows a sense of strength and stability in a man. Yes, we get this all from being educated.

#5 Be Adventurous and Spontaneous:

A man that can keep us on our toes is very exciting. It keeps the endorphin levels up and makes a woman excited about what’s to come. Don’t be afraid to plan something where both of you can get an adrenaline rush together. This also shows a huge sense of pride and confidence. It presents you as a man who does not have a timid, insecure mindset and that is so attractive to women. I also want you to keep this in mind when you’re wondering about how to keep a relationship interesting.

#6 Humor:

When a man can make us laugh we start to share a special bond with them and women always want to be around someone that brings happiness to the table. So if you enjoy some playful banter, have fun, and make sure both of you participate.

#7 Be Motivating and Uplifting:

this can also be summed up as energy and charisma! There is something so attractive about a man that has energy and makes you feel happy and positive. It kind of makes a woman think, “I want what he has.” Then, we start to think, “Man I feel so good around him. I believe he could be ‘The One.’” If you don’t know what energy and charisma look like then, think about Will Smith! 🙂

#8 Goals and Values:

This is huge! A man without goals has no direction. A man without values has no self-discipline. Women lose attraction when we have to carry the weight of finding out who you are. This isn’t shouldn’t be her job. So, you should know this before jumping into any healthy relationship!

#9 Mindset/Does not put pressure on the outcome:

Read my Confident Male Mindsets blog. This has a HUGE shift in the dynamics of approaching women and attracting women. When a woman feels as though you are not desperate to rush things so that you can be together, then she will honor and respect this and be even more attracted to you. It’s not to say you’re going to come in with this “player” mentality and say, “I don’t need you, I don’t want you, I’m so cool.” No, it’s about your willingness to take the time to cultivate something good for both of you. By doing this, you become a leader and women are attracted to a man that can lead!

#10 Builds Sexual Tension:

Men, this is significant! If you hold out on sex with a woman and show that you want to see where this goes without jumping in too fast, you will score some HUGE brownie points.

Bonus Tip: Has Style! The reason I left this as a bonus tip is that I personally believe everyone attracts different people and they have their own tastes. So choose your own personal style and make sure you present yourself in a way that makes you feel confident. Not everyone is going to want to wear urban chic. You might be a man that likes to ski and do outdoorsy things. Then keep up to date with your “lumberjack” style. You might be a hippie and not like to wear pointy dress shoes. Well, then make sure you smell great, have clean clothes and keep up with your bohemian style. This is what I mean about presenting yourself well. Own your look and be confident!
Though I must say, urban street style and business style are two of my personal favorites, paired with a good cologne!

How To Attract A Girl: The Key To Success!

The best way to attract women is knowing your individuality as a man and being okay with being alone. A woman can sense when you are lonely and are seeking outside validation from her or from a relationship in order to feel accepted or loved. A man that feels self-assured on his own is a man that is attractive to women in general. In addition to following these tips, my advice to you is to understand that the more you put yourself out there and can handle rejection, then the better your process will become.

If you are a man that has a hard time talking to and flirting with women, and hold yourself back because of it, then you won’t get anywhere when it comes to attracting a woman.

You have to fall off the bike a couple of times before you learn how to ride successfully. Remember when you were a kid. You didn’t give up and once the training wheels came off you fell a couple more times, but you continued to get back up because of your determination!

So have some determination in dating. I know it can be hard but that’s why having the right mindset will make the situation so much less draining. This comes naturally when you work on understanding how to love yourself, being okay with being alone, and figuring out who you are before anything else.

So many people seek relationships to fill a void and this is why there are so much heartache and so many divorces. We have to start dating right and attracting the right women into your life! You want to stop dating down and start dating up! So having the right conversations and paying attention to a woman being into you is going to be very vital in the moments of attraction.

Understand that not everyone is meant to like you. I say this because just because one woman rejects you does not mean the next one will do the same. If a woman ignores you then just move on. Sometimes these things happen and if you get set back by this one woman who ignored you, then you won’t have time to focus on you!

Attraction starts to manifest within a man when he shows up for his life’s purpose. It’s that time when you’re vibing so high that someone comes up to you and says “You seem different,” when nothing has changed at all. The change happens with the inner self in terms of how you feel, and this will have a direct correlation with your behavior and your motivation in your daily life.

This creates a significant shift in your presence and women are captivated by a man that knows his worth and carries it with respect and integrity!

Your Attraction Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.

You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book.

To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. Apollonia,

    Interesting and insightful read! the commenter (Michael) is right. you’re like the Humble Tony Robbins in your expertise

  2. ”The best way to attract women is knowing your individuality as a man and being okay with being alone”
    Please i want you to emphasize more on this so i can understand very well. how can being alone attract women
    Sweet writeup and i enjoy every bit of it. More of this. Love

  3. Apollonia,

    Take tip #5 multiply by #2 … You see what you get!?! Time to “Make the Call”. (☺)

    Looking forward to speaking with you soon. Stay Beautiful.

  4. I really agree with Michael who said “you’re the best in this game.”
    I’ve actually subscribed to a couple of relationship coaches prior to stumbling on you, but I must say your approach seems to be much more spot on and practical than I ever expected.

  5. Indeed, you are the best as Michael acknowledges, because I have personally found this write-up to be much more insightful and practical than I have ever come across. Thanks for sharing.

  6. Hello Apollonia, i have two questions that i will wish you can discuss on one of your youtube videos.

    1. what do you do, if a girl you like and want to have a relationship with is already dating someone?
    2. You like a lady and she also confirms that she like you and will want to have a relationship with you, but she said she can’t leave her current boy friend. Should the guy continue to show interest or put a stop to it.

    1. Hello Cephas,
      I actually did a video about this and it should be coming out soon. Here is the truth. Based on how this is starting it’s not healthy. I mean I am not sure why she will not leave her current boyfriend. Is it because of a child. Even though that’s no excuse you deserve to start off on the right foot. She has to make sure she is making this decision for herself so she does not grow to resent you if things don’t work out. There is a lack of something in her life if she thinks being with this man is ok and staying there if it’s not fulfilling. I would suggest to be VERY careful and back away from a toxic situation and let her work through the things she has to work through. Wishing you the best!

  7. Yes, Appolloina:

    I do most of these already, but I do think, I lack adventure and building sexual tension with females. But, I think I do most of the others on a regular basis. This is where I believe I end up in the friend zone.

    1. Hi Richard,
      Did you visit my YouTube channel? I made a video about how to build sexual tension when dating that may help. Stay tuned as I will have more blogs coming your way so you can read about the friend-zone and much more. Thanks for reading my how to attract women blog.

  8. So, what does it mean when a woman tells you she is lonely? Do you help her out? Or do let her figure it out herself?

    1. Hi Richard,
      Thank you for reading my blog about how to attract women. Did this woman tell you this because you are friends or because you were talking about a relationship? Trying to understand the context behind this since it’s not always a bad thing when a woman says this but you also want to pay attention to her behaviors. Feel free to let me know. 🙂

    2. Yes, I thought she told me this because we were very close friends! But, I also thought she might have said this to me because she may have had some interest in me more than just a friend? She also at this time, told me she wanted to connect with someone! I saw her about two months ago, we talked some but we have not connected or communicated through (text, email or phone). So, I don’t want to force anything with her. I guess we will just stay friends, even though I was interested in her! Maybe, she has moved on with other guys?

    3. Very good ???? advice I will be listening tomorrow obviously you know what you’re talkin about thank you! ????

  9. I felt it was very helpful thank you appollonia ponytail but i did a mistake of pleading the girl and come back after 9 days i stopped contacting her completely now in which way i can attract her..

  10. Hi Apolloni, I hope you’re doing well ????
    I want to tell you something about a girl which i like and we have been texting each other about 4 months. We hang out once and now we want to hang out again for the second time, she doesn’t seem so much interested but on the same time she says that she needs more time to know me better, we are talking about a serious relationship, i really don’t know what to do. Please give me an advice, have a nice time ????

  11. I really do appreciate your time writing this lovely book or should I say something special about relationship advice… You have taught me a lot Apollonia

  12. Hi Apollonia – I have many women friends but have never had a sexual relationship because I am incapable of building sexual tension. As a result, no woman I find attractive ever feels the same way about me and I’m always just a good friend. Having lots of friends is great and I’m thankful for it. But I’m also very sad that I’m never the guy any woman wants sexually. I’ve tried to build sexual tension many times, and even had a couple of dating coaches. But nothing ever works.

  13. Thank you very much for all of that! I really did feel like you were speaking directly to me face to face a couple of times, kinda creepy lol kidding I know it’s just spreading a “net” but you are the only single one I’ve read that tells it how it actually is so it was a very well-thought-out net and it seems like you genuinely care.. I’m glad I found this, I guess I needed it more than I knew so I appreciate it! I don’t really do the whole online thing but I will definitely recommend your work to anyone I find Worthy…

    1. Hi Tony,
      Amazing! I appreciate this comment and appreciate you. Thanks for your motivation. 🙂

  14. Most women are real Gold Diggers these days since they will sleep around with so many different men that have the big bucks.

  15. Please tell me why I’d want to attract a woman. There is nothing positive a woman can add to a man’s life. Women are all cost and zero benefit.

  16. Thanks for your wonderful tips for building a successful relationship and marriage, but my question goes like this, how can you correct the impression of your woman that always see you as a fake person when you are trying to tell her how much you love her and want everything come real and you are damn real but she see you as fake and I want to understand the meaning of when woman said that There is something about you that doesn’t feel right tho
    Maybe you are trying to hard and because Of that I doesn’t sound real
    I just can’t explain it…
    Ok to me you sound fake
    That’s the only way I can explain it
    I know I love you more then anything and I want you …
    I don’t have to keep saying it I’d having to justify myself to people
    Baby just stop trying so hard
    I know we are meant for each other

  17. An additional piece is that a guy must be realistic. I know I will never attract a woman no matter what I do. I have all your points above going for me except #10, including being OK with being alone. So I don’t try to evoke sexual interest from a woman because It’s not going to happen. I’m unattractive – and that’s what life has demonstrated to me.

  18. Just too many women nowadays that have so many very high standards along with their very high unrealistic expectations which makes it very difficult for many of us single men really looking.

  19. I was very impressed by your writing,
    I just need your help.
    If the girl I love is studying far away from me, for example, in any country, how should I behave, how should I attract her, for example, by going to the country where she studied or not?

    1. Hi Jamal,
      Thank you for writing to us.
      We have videos on our youtube channel that explains long-distance relationships, I would encourage you to watch them.

  20. Amazing article I love it
    For hundreds of thousands of years…

    Men had to seduce women without saying a single word.

    Before spoken language even existed…

    The only tool men had to turn a woman on…

    And convince her to sleep with them…

    Was what he could communicate with his body language.

  21. Why are scenarios for meeting women so often set in bars? I have been to a bars maybe 3 times in my life and I was extremely uncomfortable every time – I find crowded places literally suffocating. As well, I am very shy and introverted and so find initiating conversations painfully stressful. I’m in my early 40s and even though I’ve been to counselling, I am still far from the point where I can visualize myself approaching woman I find attractive, let alone actually doing it. I do have many [male and female] friends that I’ve met through work or hobbies, but there has never been any indication that any woman sees me in a sexual way. It goes without saying that I’ve never gone on a date. Am I just too far behind most people (+/- 25 years) to get this? Should I just accept that I’m going to be alone forever because I just can’t be attractive in *that* way?

  22. This is some great advice im not the richest guy and my friends seemed to get girls easy because they were rich so i thought thats all girls wanted alhough im 6ft 2 so i believe height doesnt matter thanks appolonia cheers mate

    1. Hey Ivan!

      Thank you so much for reading my blog post How To Attract Women 10 Proven Techniques To Be Irresistible to Women!
      We greatly appreciate your feedback. If you would like to get more advice like this make sure to head to my Youtube channel or check out my products here:

      Take care!
      – Team Apollonia

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