When she says she needs space, here’s what to do!
How horrifying is it when she says she needs space!? You’re probably feeling confused and wondering how you can fix this, right? That’s why I created this article! In this article, I am going to tell you the reasons why she is asking for space and help you understand what to do moving forward, how to get her back and recover from the heartache.
Right now is the best time for you to reflect on yourself. You also might be confused because you feel like you did everything right. You were there for her, you showed her affection, you spent time with her, and gave her almost everything she wanted. You want to live happily ever after and have a wonderful life! Unfortunately, that isn’t always the right way to look at love. Love can provide the biggest lessons for growth as an individual and if we don’t learn from them, we live in worry, fear, and misery. We then become complacent, we don’t learn or move forward, and these things happen again, again, and again.
Understand that it is impossible to never irritate your partner. It’s really about how you’re both working through the emotions that surge up. Overall, the biggest thing is if she wants space, give her that space. Do not text her. Do not call her. Just let her be. Let her text you, let her call you, allow her to initiate the contact with you. From a woman’s mindset, when we say we need space, it’s sometimes because we know a man is doing everything in his power to be with us. It can be a great thing, but there is a thing as being too much. When we get into a relationship or if we get involved with someone, we may be unsure of whether they’re a match for us, or maybe we’re suffering from something that’s going on in our lives right now. You don’t know.
Girlfriend Says She Needs Space: What can you do?
Your girlfriend tells you she needs to be alone for a while and you immediately are filled with worry. What do you do? When a girl says she needs space, the most impressive thing you can do for yourself and your girlfriend is to not call or text her. Let her initiate. In a woman’s mind, when she sees you as less available, she’ll start reaching out to you. It draws a connection, it reignites an attraction to you, and we start to think, “Is he okay without me?” If a woman has feelings for you then she won’t be OK with this.
This is the way you switch her thinking, and that’s exactly what you want to do. You want to give her space because if she’s going through something personal or even if you thought you were too overbearing, then it’s vital that you give her space. If this eventually leads to a relationship or if you’re in a relationship right now, you have to show her that you can give her space and the time that she needs. If this woman is pushing you away because she’s going through something and she doesn’t want you around, then you need to reanalyze the relationship. There might be a disconnect, or she might not have the same feelings for you. The reason why I mention this is because typically when a woman loves a man, she will be open enough to share things with him or want him by her side when she is going through a tough period. Next, think about the conversation that you’re going to have with her because life happens. If your girlfriend handles her troubles by herself, talk to her about why and try to understand this reasoning. Ask her to show you how can still be present for her. This is vital to every relationship because communication is key.
If it’s one of these two scenarios, you want to explore the relationship and how you’re going to confront her the next time that you speak to her. Of course, you want to handle this in a compassionate way; not in an argumentative way. Think about how you will get your point across and still be present to her needs while staying true to the man you are.
When She Says She Needs Space: 5 Tips on what to do next
Tip #1– Plan things to do alone or with other people and enjoy them. Make yourself busy during this time. When your girlfriend needs space, do something that you’ve wanted to do with friends or family. Travel somewhere for a quick getaway weekend and explore the city. Doing something will keep your mind busy thinking about something positive that you enjoy instead of thinking negative thoughts like, “What is she’s doing? Why does she need space? Does she even like me? Are we breaking up!?” All of these questions are negative self-talk in your head, and it’s not going to do you any good. That’s why it’s so important to keep busy.
Tip # 2– Explore the relationship. Think about the relationship right now. Unless something happened like a family member passing away, a health issue, or something drastic going on in her life right now, explore the relationship because it’s imperative that you’re with a partner that you can see a future with. Analyze the relationship and see where your own shortcomings were. What were your weaknesses in this relationship that lead you to the point that she needs space? This is the only way that you can dissect the relationship to see what you might have done wrong and how you can overcome this so you can support your partner now through positive actions and change.
Tip # 3– Become confident and happy. When someone is confident with themselves, it is magnetic to their partner and attraction and desire intensify. Confidence is inner happiness. You cannot just pretend to be confident because it will disappear as time goes on. This is something that takes strength, time, and focus. Focus so you can be direct, open, and honest with yourself. You can overcome your inner obstacles and grow as a person for you and only you. A lot of men think, “How will she know I am more confident and how will she know I have changed?” That’s the key right there! The moment you stop caring about the attachment of what she will see, you are truly going to do this for yourself and put yourself first. As time goes on your partner will be able to sense a change within you. You can simply do with through your actions, social media posts, and energy. You want to be respectful, but you also should show her that you’re confident and you’re happy no matter what – with her in your life and without her in your life! This is what a woman looks for in a man. We love a strong man that can hold his own at the end of the day.
Tip # 4– Setting boundaries. Determine what is healthy and what is not healthy. When you explore the relationship as discussed in tip #2, are you being overly affectionate, or too available for her? Are you involved in everything to the point where she knows you will always pick her up and do all the work to put her back together when she falls? Well, she might continue to fall because she knows that you’re going to be there to pick her up. Though being supportive is a strong trait, you want to make sure this woman is not taking advantage of you. By setting boundaries and telling her you cannot continue to pick her up when she falls, you can help her own her responsibilities and create more balance. A woman typically takes you for granted if she is always asking for space, especially when you are too available. If this rings a bell, ask yourself these questions:
Are you always available for her?
Are you needy?
Do you want to spend every waking minute with her?
When a girl says she needs space…
Here is the bigger picture of this all. If a woman states that she needs space and you follow these tips, and she honestly does not want space, after all, you will find out. But also, you will be forming a foundation where this woman will not want to do this again as you were honoring space for her. Furthermore, if a woman is being emotional and is doing this for attention, this is your time to ask her to dig a little deeper into her insecurities and to figure it out and fix it because you cannot play these games with her. A lot of men think that if they do this when she said she needs space, they will not be supporting their girlfriend or wife. At the end of the day you can only take responsibility for yourself and when you implement boundaries in your relationship and do not tolerate the neglected behavior, you can build a healthy relationship. You both understand that you are accountable for your actions and cannot be used as a doormat and will not be passive.
If you were too involved in the relationship and she needed space to analyze whether this is something that she wants, that space is going to be critical in this relationship, there is a significant chance that she could be feeling claustrophobic. She may want to escape right now as she needs her time alone. Again, do not hang on to her, be depressed, act desperate or afraid because at the end this is not attractive to a woman and will only pull her away even more.
There are only two things to do here. One, analyze where you can show up better, be positive and stay focused on you. Hang out with your friends because at this point you probably haven’t been hanging out with your friends as much. You might have lost track of your personal life as you both possibly spent every waking minute together. This will make her feel like she can breathe again.
She Needs Space: What Do I Do Moving Forward?
I get emails, comments on my YouTube videos, and remarks in my coaching session from men who have no idea what to do next when a woman they love has asked for space. The biggest advice that I can give you, and this is truly important, is to focus on YOU right now. So many people yearn for something outside of themselves, but you have all the answers within. I am not telling you to ignore your feelings for this woman and move on. What I am saying is that you got to this point because you lost something within yourself, in the relationship, and you need to get grounded in who you are and how you can be a better man in this relationship for yourself and for yourself only.
So many people think that they will lose their partner if they don’t call them all the time, text them all the time, or apologize all the time, but that is the complete opposite of what you should be doing. Relationships are about personal development and the more in tune and secure the partners are with themselves, the healthier the relationship becomes. Moving forward I am going to give you the top 3 things women do when they might be feeling overwhelmed in the relationship, so you become more aware of when to step back and give her space before she has to say it. But before we go into this, I think it’s important for me to state one thing…
There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man understanding precisely what she wants and needs. You master this by observing your partner’s behaviors and picking up on universal energies that happen in a relationship. For example:
Grumpy or Cranky – This is when your partner is just snappy with you for no reason, and she is just not happy at the moment. Maybe you are watching TV, and she does not want to talk at that moment because she wants to zone out. Or she might have a lot on her mind, and you want to be affectionate with her and are avoiding the fact that she is not happy right now or even satisfied with herself at that very moment. These are all valid emotions; it’s about what you do with this moving forward. Maybe go to the room and read a book and wait for her to come to you. Then she might even ask, “Why are you in here” and you can respond, “I noticed you were having a moment and I thought giving you some time to yourself was best for the both of us” with a warm smile.
She Does Not Listen to Your Stories – She might give you the “Uh-huh” and not engage in conversation with you. You can tell when someone is not open to having a conversation with you. They’re not participating in discussions and asking you questions. They seem uninterested.
Not Sexually Pleasing – They may not want to sexually please you or give you anything more than what they like to receive. This is something to pay attention to as the relationship progresses.
She’s Always out with Her Girlfriends – She might not enjoy her time with you as much and might always prefer to spend time with her girlfriends. We girls love our girl time. Don’t misinterpret that, but when she spends more time with her friends and less time with you, then this is something to be aware of. She might be needing some time away from you.
Does Not Care for Your Compliments – You might be giving them to her way too much. A woman never gets sick of compliments unless she is sick of you. If you compliment her and she says thank you with no emotion behind it or just smiles and never really takes anything from it, then it’s time that you stop giving her these compliments until she begins to appreciate them. Because the more you do something, the more it can start to feel like a routine instead of something meaningful.
So, enjoy a couple of days of solitude. Catch up on sports, PlayStation and whatever else you want to do. Now is the time to let go, sit back and discover the man that you can be so you can show up differently as time goes on.
Are you confused about what you should do? Watch this video…. And if you need more help, please visit my website to contact me personally, and we can individualize our conversation to get you in the right direction.
Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com. She works with men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships.
You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book. To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.