10 Signs Shes Not Into You Anymore!

Isn’t it frustrating when you don’t know if she’s into you anymore? That’s why it’s so important that you read this article because I am going to give you 10 signs she’s not into you anymore. These signs are signs that happen in real life situations that a lot of people choose not to talk about. Not only will I be giving you the signs on how to tell shes just not interested. But I will also give you a couple of recommendation on how you can move forward or even try to get her back into you at this very moment.

I love hearing from you so please comment below, and I will answer them personally!

How to know if she’s not interested anymore.

Love not being reciprocated is a hard thing to swallow let’s be honest! It’s one of the most challenging things you have to swallow when someone else does not love you back. There are many feelings that I know you are experiencing right now as uncomfortable as it may be. The sense of rejection, humiliation, and that inner voice telling you-you aren’t good enough. But don’t worry, it does not last forever! You might be starting to realize the girl of your dreams may not be that into you, and when you understand this you’ve not only found yourself here, but you’ve been faced with doubt and maybe choosing the route of denial.

You’ve probably seen yourself looking back on old text messages or thoughts trying to analyze every situation to make you feel better or even get your answers. Ultimately, to carry on a relationship where another isn’t reciprocating you’re prolonging the heartbreak. You can’t force someone into liking you back no matter how hard you try, how much of a nice guy you are, and at the end of the day it’s better that you know the truth and moves on quickly to someone else that likes you. So, if you are fearful that the woman you love has fewer feelings for you, I am going to share the top 10 signs that will confirm this for sure.

Signs she is not into you anymore.

These are the 10 biggest signs that she’s not into you anymore. Read on below for further detail on each sign:

  • She Uses The Word “Friends” To loosely
  • She Responds and Calls When It’s Convenient For Her
  • She Does Not Reply To Your Text or always gives excuses
  • She constantly flakes on plans
  • She doesn’t care what she looks like in front of you
  • She avoids physical contact
  • She does not introduce you to anyone important to her
  • She tells you directly or indirectly that she’s not interested
  • She does not commit to anything that has to do with the future
  • She leaves you behind and only hangs out with you in groups

1. She Uses The Word “Friends” To loosely: She might be casually talking to you and saying things like “you’re such a good friend” etc. Whenever a woman uses this loosely around you and gives you no sign of physical connection, then she only sees you as a friend, and this is her way of telling you this indirectly, so she does not have to face that she has hurt your feelings.

2. She Responds and Calls When It’s Convenient For Her: Since you aren’t a priority to her then she sometimes forgets to respond she may find it boring to respond to you. She has no urgency to see you or is not thrilled about seeing your calls or text, so she does this when she has nothing else better to do.

3. She Does Not Reply To Your Text or always gives excuses: She responds but gives you an excuse. Like “I’ve been busy, I’m so sorry.” and the list goes on!

4. She constantly flakes on plans: So typically if something else comes up better in she will cancel plans with you. Also, you might get to the point where you have talked about plans together, and nothing ever happens. She just never responds. Another thing that’s very common is she might even do the “I’m bored” text a lot with you and plan things last minute just because she doesn’t feel like being home alone and may need some attention.

5. She doesn’t care what she looks like in front of you: she does not take the time to look pretty or even get dressed up. Women that are interested care what they look like especially in the beginning stages with a man.

6. She avoids physical contact: When a woman is interested in one of the most important signs is physical contact. A vital sign that two people are romantically involved is constant touching: Resting hands on each other’s legs, grazing backs of arms or even playfully hitting each other. If your crush isn’t doing any of these things, and if her body language is stiff and unapproachable, then she’s giving you subtle signs she’s not interested.

“I took a girl out on a date,” explained Peter, 32. “I was driving her home, and as I dropped her off, I went in for a kiss expecting that she would reciprocate. She backed away and told me that it wasn’t the right time and she wanted to go home. This confirmed she wasn’t interested in me!”

7. She does not introduce you to anyone important to her: If you and this woman have been “dating” (at least, in your eyes), she might not let you meet anyone in her world. Introducing close friends and family to a partner is one of the most solid signs of commitment, and if she does not introduce you as well as talk about them with you. This can be a sure sign that she does not see a future with you.

8. She tells you directly or indirectly that she’s not interested: She might throw you hints here and there that she is not interested. She might say something like “ I don’t want a relationship right now.” or “I just want to have fun.” or the famous words “Your such a great friend!” Also, if she’s been direct with you about how she isn’t interested and has told you upfront, then it’s time to move on.

9. She does not commit to anything that has to do with the future: This is familiar with the sign of not introducing you to friends or family, but this comes into play with future events as well. Let’s say New Years comes around or a holiday and you’re not first to be on the hangout list then this is a sure sign that she’s not interested. Here what a woman has to say.

“ I remember when I was talking to this guy I wasn’t interested in and I was invited to a wedding. Typically you can bring a plus one, and I didn’t invite him. This was because I wasn’t interested and to be honest I didn’t even think of it till now.” -28 Amanda

10. She leaves you behind and only hangs out with you in groups: Let’s say that you guys do hang out. Well, when you hang out does she pay attention to everyone else but you? Also, where do you take her out? Do you take her to beautiful and scenic places that she loves and that’s the only reason why she goes out with you? Pay attention to her habits this is going to be key for you!

How to tell a girl is not into you & what to do moving forward!

One of the most common trends I see today is people will ignore each other and not talk to one another and ghost one another to let them go without confrontation. Typically this happens when you don’t hear from them for a while, or you might see some new photos of them traveling or with another man on social media!

Here is the simplest and most comfortable thing for you to always remember. Everyone gets rejected, and everyone isn’t always someone’s best match. It’s a lot to do with timing and where an individual is at the time of their life. The best thing that you can do here is focused on you! What excites you? Focus on that! Pay less time and attention to the woman that you are in love with or have a crush on and do things that uplift you. Get your confidence back and book a trip and do something spontaneous. Start dating again and also post some photos of your recent spontaneous trip on social media. I can guarantee that when you do something different this girl might see you in a different light and if she doesn’t then that’s not your fault it’s hers! Remember don’t ever think that you’re not good enough just because a woman wasn’t ready for you or didn’t like you because I can guarantee you the moment you focus on you and walk away with dignity will be the moment another woman comes in asking for you to give her that opportunity!

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Are you sick of not getting the girls you want and not attracting them? Do you want to be the man women approach and want? If you answered yes, now is your time to book a session with Apollonia now. If you want real results then act fast!  Book a coaching session here.

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com. She works with ambitious men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships. You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book

To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.

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  1. Apollonia,
    Everything you said in your blog is happening to me. Apollonia I really fell hard for her.i know it’s a bitter pill to swallow and sadly I have let her go . I will learn this lesson maybe some girl think of me because I know I can make her happy and I deserve to be treated with respect and love.

        1. Hi i just came across this website right now. It seems really detailed. I have a concern but i would be open for anyone to give advice so here i go. I have been around this certain girl for a year and some change, we both have busy life styles bc i work 6 days a week and she works 5 but has 2 adorable kids. The last 6 to 7 months i have been around her kids, i meet her brother, meet her sister and briefly talked to her mom. So i know she has a couple of guy friends but one certain guy always comes to her house and fixes it bc she said he is a family friend and its her bosses husband friend. So for me being divorced and i finally came out of my shell to see whats out there, obviously it took a couple of years to get over my insecurities bc i was cheated on so thats what leads it to the last past 2 weeks. We have been more active with me taking her and her kids out to eat, the movies, me buying her and her kids stuff bc i know alot about her situation. So what im trying to get to is, how do i know if she is done with me bc with a concern i had with last weekend was i thought i heard the guy in the background so i said “if you have company over i will let you go so i dont interrupt the time that you can spend with the person” so then i get told off with different things so then i said honestly lets just cut it off and block me. So it been a whole week and she has not blocked me. So yesterday she sent one text to me then i sent one back and around 6 pm my time i called her so it went to voicemail but then a minute later she called back and i can here that guy in the background at the park with her kids so we talked like almost an hour and she let me explain myself on how i felt. So im just stuck on what to believe bc like i dont want to put in all this work then at the last second i find out they have been dating all along. Sorry to who ever reads this. I understand its long. Any replies are appreciated and please be honest

          1. Just from reading this I would honestly feel something is wrong especially if he’s only around when u not. Red flags for sure

    1. Hi Apollonian,
      I met my girlfriend December last year and we have been dating until her decision to go back to school( part time thought school is on strike) but she works but which is far away from my current place. Two weeks ago I noticed she hardly picks my phone calls and hard response to my whatsapp messages and claim She is always busy. She hardly response to my ‘I love you’ and her whatsapp chat always indicate she is online. I have done so much for her and I really love her. ( I sent you a previous message with a wrong email address

  2. Hey Apollonia,
    What if you don’t know if you’re the one doing things wrong or if she is? For example, we had an argument a couple of months ago and I have been thinking of calling her or even texting her. Now, the thing is, I have no clue what to say. Every time I want to send the little “Hey” I feel like she’s moved on and I’m making myself look stupid. What would you do?

    1. Hi Michael,
      At the end of the day, what do you have to lose? If you still think something is there text her and if she rejects you it might sting but that’s only temporarily. If she is a good woman and you think you can connect again then try it. Wishing you the best of luck!

  3. Apollonia (sorry for the lengthy comment, idk if its appropriate or not),
    I have fallen for her, she approached even before we knew each other or anything
    to know abt a technicality in admission procedure, then a thing led to another and
    we know each other for around 4 months. Her responses when we saw each other for the 4 months,
    i have listed them in a series as per your points. I am way too confused as to what is happening,
    i would be very grateful if u could help me, just to know if she’s into me or not or she just is pretending to ignore me

    1. About the first point, i do know that she has said once to her bestie that
    she “i would never ever break friendship with him”

    2. About the calling, in 60% cases she picks up my call and when she doesn’t pick it, she won’t call back in abt 75% cases.

    3. She won’t reply every time, but will have them seen as soon as she gets them

    4. She has flaked on some plans unnecessarily

    5. I can’t say if she cares or not, i never noticed it that much

    6. She doesn’t contact avoid it completely, many a times, she would play with my hair, swipe her hand over my knees and hand
    Also, if i approach, like when u try to hold her hand, she just holds it, but way too lightly

    7. Introduction is something that actually never happened much from both sides, but we have talked among us abt them

    8. Abt telling how interested, i don’t know what the following sentence would actually mean, she said it around
    2 months after we were seeing each other, ” I just really wanna be in a relationship with a great guy, i just am a
    bit scared ‘coz of the past”

    9. That hasn’t happened much as she doesn’t have a lot many friends here

    10. Sometimes, sometimes not, happens around 60% that she is with one person, but she does leave them if i say so

    Thanks again Apollonia

  4. Hey Appollonia
    Thanks for your good tips and videos
    My gf made me confused whenever I talk with her or text her she doesn’t show curiousity and interest and stop replying. Whenever I don’t reply for 2 or 3 days she starts replying again and same repeated again and again
    Please guide me either she is interested or not and why she is behaving like this.

  5. Hi Apolonia, Im 22 .This girl approached me when we first met in highschool, its almost 3yrs we know each other. We got to know each other in the 1st year(wasnt really interested then) and we dated later for almost more than a year when were done w/ highschool going to college. I had started working and schooling, was very busy but we had magical dates. She would pratically do anything i asked i was crazy and was very submissive. Out of the blue, She begun not showing up on dates. Eventually she started asking girls…”why are you so well dressed”…”who was that girl”…etc Then would go weeks w/out reaching out. I mostly remained centered for her behaviour was actually getting funny like she was my gf. Until one day(JULY), we agreed she’d come over. She didnt show. I took my distance letting her know calmly that night i wasnt happy w/ her behaviour w.out bitching ofcourse. The following week she reached out telling me she’d starting classes at college.Basically always texting informing me about her daily. I gave brief indifferent answers. She came up w/ the funniest reasons to just text me. But then coming Sept. it all stopped. She called me in Oct. couldnt return her call but text back. It pissed her off that I didnt bother to call back just text. Silence till November, she called asking what she’d done wrong. When she called and my line was busy shed assume automatically that im talking to another girl so ive ignored her. Late Dec, on my Bday she called wishing me Merry Xmas and Happy Bday,(i never told her my bday) . At the end of the call she acted again like she was the victim, forgetting how she misbehaved in the past. It ended w/ “this is the last time Im calling you, to see if you’d atleast check up for once or care about “a friend” Bye. Texted 2 days later”I will be @my Aunts in 2days @7pm , you can come over.” She saw it immediately, no response. Till now. What’s going on? Lastly on the last 2 calls when she asked when she’d me , I let her know she’d have to make it up to me first. Very rarely post on social media but when I do shed be the first to like. Advice please

  6. Apolonia. Sorry made a mistake in the previous comment ” SHE WAS VERY SUBMISSIVE AND READY TO DO ANYTHING” NOT I

  7. Hi Apollonian…
    I have my gf for three years….last year she went back to her country but we still in touch strongly till 6 months ago when she visited me in my country…some bad great happened from my side to her due to my jealousy…since then when she back to her country, she changed and she always says not in mood to talk or busy in work…we broke up twice in the last 6 months but she finds reasons to back to me…I have asked her twice to discuss our relation to start again but she always reply that she doesn’t want to talk, she asked me to go and read books or articles how to deal with her and this how I end up in your blog 🙂 …now she planning to spend her birthday with me next month but she still in busy mode or tells not in mood to talk…I am very confused…is she not interested to be with me or she want to continue with me but hurted from last time incidence…plz advice from your point of view…thanks

    1. Maybe she have someone else, me myself I don’t get involved in long distance relationships because you never know what a person is really up to. So I think you should get a girl closer to you and date her. But don’t be a dick to this girl your talking about now. If she wants to hang out once she comes back here or wherever you at, hang out with her and keep it like that. But you should be going out and getting other girls and stop worrying about this one your talking about. Because from the way it sounds it sounds like she has someone else beating her pussy up. So go out there get another girl who lives closer to you and date her and stop contacting the one your talking about. A lot of times when you make your self less available you become more attractive to girls and then they’ll come back looking for you. Now because your busy. Busy beating up some other girls pussy. Anyways good luck bro

  8. Why does this girl keep blowing hot and cold on me .we are at a platonic stage drinks group friends etc .When she has alot to drink she will snuggle into me etc and she says she loves my humour but couple of days later her texts our dry and cold .I done what you said and distanced myself and went travelling in cub a for two months so hadn’t seen her then she stated to interact with me again and show interest laughing etc then couple of days later back to being dry etc doing my head in advise appreciated thank you

  9. > because I can guarantee you the moment you focus on you and walk away
    > with dignity will be the moment another woman comes in asking for you
    > to give her that opportunity!

    That’s just not true. Alas.
    I’ve been there, I know better.

  10. Hi Apollonia,
    I have been going out with a girl for about 3 months now. Before we had a great time. She would smile at me and wanted to have conversations now it seems like anytime we are in a group she always smiles at everybody but when i go to say something she just stares at me and then she goes back to smiling and having a great time. I love her and she says that she loves me but whenever we are in public she doesn’t act like it. Also she smiles at my friend which is a guy. I don’t think that she is into me anymore, but i feel like if i lose her then I will be stupid. I don’t want to break up. Should I ask her what she thinks of our relationship at this moment or should i wait. Im a senior in high school and she is a freshman. I feel like after i graduate she is going to break up with me anyway. Should i be patient and wait to see what happens. This is also my first real relationship that i had. Im terrible at reading emoitions. Sometimes she is happy and it seems like she wants me but not in pubic. Mabey its because she doesn’t like to show stuff in public. IDK anymore. Please help me. I don’t know what to do anymore.

    1. Exact same thing is happening to me. (Except the privacy part. Privacy is like important here and even i dont want my relationship go public).There is this girl i met in my last coaching. We were in different batches. She used to smile at me whenever we met in interval or after the class ended. I also noticed that she used to smile at my friend too who is like a step forward than me in terms of girls. But thankfully he left d coaching and the path was clear for me. This thing is like 1 month back now. I was going to leave that coaching, and we started talking a little bit in my last few days. I started dropping her home after the class. I specially brought d car to coaching to impress her and so that we could talk in the car. I took her number. We started talking on whatsapp but what i noticed was that she replied very short to my messages. It was like i used 3 lines for my texts and hers were one liners. She never looked enthusiastic. I thought she was not into me. And by d way i come from a rich family background, my father is at a good position in state govt. and she is like middle class. And we both are doin’ preparation for competition exams and she is like good in studies. In one of my last days of d coaching after dropping her home i proposed her anyway and poured my heart to her about how i started liking her after she smiled at me. To my surprise she accepted d proposal and we talked for like half an hour when she told about her past experiences about boyfriends. She told me very frankly about her past relationships about how she was commited to a guy for 2 years and they were goin to marry but something went wrong. They broke up. And another boy whom i know personally proposed to her but she rejected her. She was very frank. We agreed that we would not waste each others time much and keep our focus on studies. I was feeling awesome that day..she told me how she rejected someone but she didnt reject me..yeahh. After that i left d coaching and we talked like once a day. But i never felt her enthusiasm for d relationship. I think she smiles at me lesser than d beginning now. She rarely picks d call at once. 2 times i reached her coaching to pick her up, she didnt even text me she didnt go. Whenever we meet like once in 3-4 days i get happy with her reaction. But in terms of phone calls or texts, her responses are unsatisfactory. Same as before proposing her. I even clarified with her whether she even wants this relationship and if she doesn’t i wont show my face to her ever. But she said she was interested. It has been 10 days since that day. But im not getting d response or d exitement i expected. Day before yesterday we agreed to meet for our 1st date on 30 april. I was happy then. And today i called her she picked up and said she was out of town and said she was busy and told me that she would call back. She didnt. I texted her after i could not resist myself. Send her 3 texts..1.you didnt call back..2.if u hav problem we could talk after u come back…3.when are u comin back?? Her only reply after my 3rd text- on29.
      Nothing else. I cant decipher whats in her head and its killing me and affecting my studies too. Either she cant risk being caught by family..not interested..not sure…focusing on studies…said yes for once as im rich..now i m thinking why d hell did she even said yes. Only positive thing i can think of is that our 1st date is still on. Is this normal in d beginning of d relationship.? What should i do.? Please suggest me something to fix this. Or just share ur views about what u think of this scenerio.

  11. Hi Apollonia,
    I met my girlfriend December last year and we have been dating until her decision to go back to school. Which is far away from my current location where I work. But 2 weeks ago I noticed she hardly picks my phone calls and hard response to my whatsapp messages and claim her phone is not good and does not reply to my ‘I love you’ anytime we talk on the phone. Just yesterday I called to check on her and she told me she is travelling for her Grandfather burial And that she would take the early morning bus. She removed he DP on whatsapp and always comes online often without saying Hi.

  12. Hi Apollonia,

    Please let me know if should I chase this girl that I’ve dated? last week we are so into each other messaging here and there and she even said she misses me and cant wait to see me again. Then she has this problem at work I showed her im there for her and will be right here to support her. Then when we saw each other last Friday i showed her i care i gave her roses and she even said she really appreciate it. Then the day after she went home to visit her family then i keep messaging her and asking if shes ok and hows her day, she even replied that she feel bit better and we still continue messaging: then, out of no wear she said that she is not ready for dating/ relationship at the moment as she has a lot going on with her. As a normal person will do, i panic. I messages her bestfriend asking to check on her as i feel she’s bit depress on the work problem she is having; then she messages me in facebook telling me to leave her alone and she need to focus on herself.. so i let it be i did not contacted her for 2 days then i send a sorry message telling her that I am sorry for doing messaging her and i did it because i thought we have some special connections with each other then she just put heart on my Message. then after that she messages me sayng she dont feel the sparks as i do and we should part ways… so i told her ok i did not message her. and yesterday i saw she posted that she was on a date…. im very confuse now.. she told me before that she really likes me and she even invited me to her families new year party, i guess that will be on hold now lol…. please let me know what should i do…

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read 10 Signs Shes Not Into You Anymore. I would suggest pulling way back and focusing on your life. Fall in love with yourself and find hobbies. Post fun things on social media that you’re doing. You might have come on too strong with her and scared her off. Build up your confidence and how you feel about yourself from the inside. I would suggest doing the Master Your Confidence Seminar https://www.apolloniaponti.co/master-your-confidence-myc
      Or the Overcome Neediness seminar https://www.apolloniaponti.co/neediness-seminar-nai

  13. Hi Apollonia,
    I am someone who is constantly unlucky in love. Longest relationship I’ve had is 6 month and everything after I’ve been dumped or I’ve dumped because of no excitement.
    This year I meet a wonderful person. In the beginning I didn’t pay much attention, however, one night she really caught my eye but I didn’t pursue due to differences.
    We had a mutual friend, and through that friend we started hanging out more which built attraction on her part. Eventually we started talking a lot through social media and we ended up seeing each other, which mind you only lasted a couple of weeks because the friend didn’t approve.
    In the beginning of the break up, which she broke off, I was getting pranks and music was being played. Songs that we listened to. I would constantly talk to my friends about her which she found out and got her angry. She blocked me on social media and I went into no contact for a month. In this time she changed her number as well.
    I seen her out in the club one night and avoided her as I know she didn’t want to talk to me. My friend did approach her and ask if she would talk to me without me knowing, which annoyed her even more.
    Next night she did unblock me on social media and basically told me to leave her friend alone as we had a fall out and I was trying to fix things between us.
    She said her friend didn’t want to fix things and any issues I had with her I should take it up with her.
    I responded with I have no issues and asked if she had any. She responded she didn’t want to know me then blocked me again. Around 4 days later I notice in my friends list on chat, she is online, I was a little confused as I know she had reblocked me. So I checked my pc and noticed I was unblocked.
    A couple of days later I messaged her apologising for being a dickhead and I hoped she was well.
    She basically said I’m not getting it and she doesn’t think about me and how she is annoyed that she hears her name constantly being thrown around. Which I responded that has nothing to do with me as I stopped talking about her.
    She did read the message but has not blocked me, so there is some form of way to establish communication.
    All my friends have said to walk away, as she made it clear in the messages she doesn’t want anything to do with me.
    I normally get over girls very easily but for some reason i want a relationship shiny with this girl because she has great qualities that I’ve not seen in other girls.
    My heart and mind say to slowly continue, but everyone says to walk away.
    What should I do? Keep trying or walk?

  14. hi,
    A girl i was seeing for about three weeks, stopped seeing her now for over 2 and a half month but bump into her from time to time.
    she went up to someone i know and I came up in topic. Basically she said if i want him, i can grab him any time.
    should I bother?

  15. Hlo brother my challange my gf never wants to meet me whenever you tell her to meet you she say that she busy coz she is at school?

  16. So how to get her back. I really want her.how to i win her. What I can do .I never leave her. I want only her . What I do .I get her back

  17. Better to have once loved and lost than to be miserable and trapped. If I had some advice to give to my younger self it would be to stay happy and SINGLE. Women are trouble.

  18. Appolonia I got a really good question. I was seeing this woman for 5 months everything was going great even up until the last date where I noticed she was hugging in the store as we walked around like a couple. I ran into some co-workers a couple the lady asked saw us & asked me is she was my girlfriend. I said she was my friends but only because I hadn’t asked her to be my girlfriend. We wanted back to her place watched some TV while she was in my arms went to bed had like the best sex yet. I had work in the morning & I told her what time I had to get up 4 am to be exact & she said she would say bye from the covers. I wouldn’t blame her & I didn’t expect her to get up that early either. This woman woke up at 4am i didnt even ask her to & she made me coffee then kissed me goodbye. I may had came off a bit needy on a text I sent a few nights later. We didn’t see each other for a whole month but finally we meet up & shes says she has really been super busy with work & we weren’t gonna be able to see each other. Then she proposed us being friends. She did look extremely tired though so I think there was some truth to the work thing. I left I kissed her goodbye & told her I wouldn’t wait up for her but my feelings for her were really strong still. I texted her a like twice after that day then I didn’t text her for a whole month because i was not in the right emotional state. O had texted her when I got back from my vacation would love to see you if you’re interested. Turns out she had left on her vacation which I remembered she told me about before. So apparently she had just gotten to Virginia & I told her to text me when she gets back left it at that. I think I may have waited too long to ask her to be my girlfriend & she thought i wasn’t taking her seriously & she wasnt going to waste more time with me. I’m not sure but thats what I’m feeling. She had really liked me a lot before. If you have any tip what I could do I would definitely appreciate that too. Thank you Appolonia


    1. Hi Juan. I think you might be right on this one. She might have just tried to protect herself and been very confused. I think at this point, the only thing you can do is just see what happens when she gets back from Virginia and make your intentions more clear. Keep your emotions in check. Just know that you learned from this. I would just take out all expectations. If her work picked up and she realized she’s not able to date or doesn’t want to at the moment, then that would have nothing to do with you. You could also ask her. You guys dated for 5 months, you built intimacy, when she reaches back out to you and ask her what happened and give her to the space to be open and honest. The only way that happens though is if she feels safe emotionally with you, meaning that you are in control of your emotions, you’re not putting your sense of worth on her, or your validation and you understand your happiness is not dependent on her. Just take out all expectations on this. See how she responds when she gets back from Virginia. If it really is her work and she can’t date, then just wish her the best and grow from this. learn how you want to handle things in the future.
      Wishing you the best,

      1. Thank you Apllonia. I had a few people give me different views & one said she was playing me but I just highly doubt it. There was too much there for it to be a game. Ultimately I know the relationship I had between me & her.


  19. Hi Apollonia,
    I meet this girl about a month ago, I spoke to her and it took her time to agree for a relationship, with an excuse that she was shy, before she said YES.
    We are three states apart from each other and one month into the relationship and I have been the one calling and texting always, but little or no response from her.
    How do I know if its working or not?

    1. Thank you for taking the time to read 10 signs she’s not into you anymore. I would suggest communicating with her and telling her “I love it when I hear from you.” You can affirm positive behaviors from her and just let her know you value open communication. I would also suggest pulling back and allowing her to text and call. She might not be a phone person. If you see that when you guys are together, things are great, then try to communicate with her that for long distance to work, it would help a lot to both put in the effort with communication.
      If you need more help I would suggest booking a private coaching session. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/

  20. Thank you for such an interesting post. Do you think that your position applies to friendship for mature people (over 50). I have been in love for years with a woman who seems to like me. We hang around often and we have a good time together. Yet, I think that my friend does not appreciate me as much as I do. Recently she ignored me for at least two weeks. She spent Christmas and New Year with her two female friends without asking me what I was doing. I was upset and I asked her where I stand for her. I also told her that she gave me mixed signals about our relationships. She told me that she only care for me. I thanked her for the clarification and we did not communicate since. I really miss her despite the fact that she does not treat me right. I do not have many very good friends and I am hesitating with two options: to be contend with an unsatisfactory relationship for me (I give more that she does) or let it go and move on. I have decided not to contact her anymore and wait to see if she call me. If she does I am not sure to know what to do and say… Any advices?

  21. Hello . I been in the bunkers the past month . Back in October 16th I reached out to a grammar school crush I had in a girl named Mari I seen her picture on Facebook so I sent her a message she remembered me and we started talked everyday a good morning good night even sent me pics of her son etc One day she had a Xmas party and said next year you are already on the list and you can join me we went to talking for months never in the phone or Skype she said she’s shy etc so December 2019 comes around I saved money and planned of flying to Texas to see her I asked 3 times she’s said ok then when I got there she said I didn’t think I would have to ask family if a friend from Chicago can come I said don’t worry spent Xmas alone I been there already 3 days and her answer was I wanna see u don’t know when feeling lonely and from some advice I decided to book a bus ride home sure enough after I did she texts we are planning on going to the movies or skating if you care to join . I was so sad told her I booked a bus ride and told her how I felt later she told me she chased another guy away and that she sabotages her self and all the good things . I was broke she said don’t blame yourself and then I told her I was embarrassed and that I was sorry . The whole ride home I was sad . Dry texts and short responses should of told me and never talking on the phone . This past month has been so hard 😥

    1. Hey Dave, we’re putting this girl on a pedestal and she’s not available. She sabotages herself, this is an indicator that she doesn’t love herself and she’s not ready for anything. I would suggest reading Attached by Amir Levine. Look for what you learned through this experience. You want to be with someone who is available and who is EXCITED to see you!!! That’s now a non negotiable for you. Think about what you need in a relationship. What did you gain from this experience?

  22. Hello Appollonia .

    I have been dating a single mum for almost a year she is also during her divorce process and child custody and currently i also moved to an other province . we were very good for the previous months and we also had many things even unfortunately we had an abortion experience in our middle year . my gf is a director in the latest 3 months i noticed some changes from her such as getting less messages and less interests day by day which became such as good morning then maybe few texts during the day then good night which we dont have any time to share feelings or to talk about our plans or as any couple did . we had conflicts and debates about that but recently i tried to understand what is the matter i called her and meet her asking why . However , recently she started to challenge me and the dont respect the agreements which we agreed about her dress or actions . we broke up and came back again after 10 days . but i see that is the same situation . whenever i ask her or call her she came up with excuses about her work pressure problems and her divorce . she often calls when i don’t show off . i tried to be nice and invited her for a party to celebrate our relationship birthday and talk more and i still see no changes and it is getting worse . due to her busy time i asked her to have a fixed time to each other s but suddenly at the agreed time she said that she was working . i was thinking that she is spending time for an other guy or texting that is the only reason which i understood but i did not want to tell her anything like that . i decided to back off and asked her to meet face to face to talk .i think that is the only solution .

  23. Hello apollonian,
    I’m confused about her she shows most of these signs, and I’m madly in love with her.
    She avoids being alone with me, but if eventually we are in a group she likes to stay really close to me and even make skin contact, even to the point of holding hands that I try to avoid cous it increases the pain, when I try to talk to her she snobs me but I notice she always looks at me. So please I want to let go but sometimes she makes me feel like there’s hope. Pls what should I do

  24. Hi Apollonia it’s really killing me inside I love her a lot we have been together for three years but now all she does is ignoring my calls, calling me when she feels like, she avoids talking to me all she does is laugh at me when am talking to her concerning important stuff I am really bleeding and my heart is aching and breaking into pieces

  25. This girl am talk to told me when I get my place she is not over to see me am not go be able come see her but she still want sex me buy her food

  26. There’s this girl I came to know about through a friend’s Instagram. I sent her a friend request and upon approval from the mutual friend…she accepted. A Few weeks later we meet through that mutual friend…got her no., asked her out…eventually went on a dinner date…things looked kind of promising…she texted showing interest for 2-3 days after that and then just lowered the communication…and on multiple occasions she’d flake out on me…canceled plans once then after…again won’t talk much on text…flakes out on me when I say something that would indicate my interest in being more than friends and then goes awol on me thereafter…I tried my best not to make her uncomfortable except maybe an occasion or two on text…despite my nicest efforts won’t take interest in me…how should I proceed? I’d really like her to reciprocate with me on the feelings. Kindly answer me please.

  27. Hey Apollonia so I meet this girl about 6 months ago and she was head over heals for me. I was going threw a really bad time in my life and did a lot of stupid things and accused her of a bunch others because I was just not there. Know that I’m back I realized I love her and have been trying to get her back. I buy her tons of presents she mite say thank you. She barely wants to talk and always wants me to wait till she calls. I try bringing up sexual talk and she just defers it. When she calls she just speaks for a min and always has an excuses to get of the phone. Only time she actually wants to talk or be nice is when she needs something. Is she just playing me
    And should I just return to my
    Old asshole self. Sorry not used to this as I get any woman I want

  28. hello apollonia, Ive been emotionally attached to a girl who is actually a distant relative and lives in another country for over 3 yrs. ive been in couple relationships through these years but nothing feels like her. we talk periodically and we share the same interests in many fields, we support each other and give each other motivation for our dreams. but after all,sometimes we get really touchy feely and then it all goes off for maybe 3-4 weeks and then again she talks to me and we talk around the things happened lately, im very confused about her signs and just dont know if I should move on or try my chance, since she has so many male friends and barely had been in a relationship, I cant tell which step is the proper one to take…

    1. Hi Cyrus,
      Thank you so much for reading our blog.
      any type of long-distance relationship is challenging, I suggest you watch this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-_yirgA6tFA and explore our youtube videos, We have a lot of amazing content.
      It is very hard to read signs when you barely see the other person and is only through a device, the videos will help you understand your situation and how to decide what’s best for you.
      Apollonia’s team

  29. I have a girl I meet in my working place, we started talking, we hang out and swim and play tennis, on tuesday she came to work, her mood change, I still give her own space, later she meet me and we talk, but she started giving me distance not like usual, each time I try to come to her she will say I should meet other people and talk to that I can also get fresh air,. Is it that she not into me anymore, because I even asked for hang out she give me excuses that she want to have time for her self
    What should I do in such case
    She have given me the opportunity to express my feelings for her
    Should I move on or give her space

    1. Hello Kingsley, thank you for reading “10 Signs Shes Not Into You Anymore!” In order to get advice pertaining to your situation, I would encourage you to book a coaching session with her so she can help. Here are the links with more information. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/

      Apollonia carefully crafted her products that address a multitude of subjects which you may find helpful as well: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/products/

      If finances are an issue, Apollonia provides free content and I know you can find information that will help. 🙂 https://www.apolloniaponti.com/blog/ and https://www.youtube.com/c/ApolloniaPonti
      Take care and best of luck!

  30. Hi Apollonia,

    I recently met this girl through mutual friends from a different state. Me and her hit it off so much so that she decided to book a flight to my state after a couple days of getting to know each other. When she came I took her out and we had a great time, so much she would then book another flight to come back 2 weeks later. Not only was it just 2 weeks but she would also be involved in a serious accident where she left unscathed and still came 2 days after that event. At this point we’ve already had sex, shared our feelings and even exchanged gifts. She was looking for a relationship as was I but she did mention we were still getting to know each other. A week later I came down to visit, but the day I’m suppose to come down was her fathers funeral. He had passed a couple days before I arrived of natural causes. We see each other a couple times through out the day, getting food , ice cream, making out, and whatever else we could do. Everything seemed great and I felt we had a genuine connection. The next day she contact me all day which was strange because we would talk all the time. I called her asking what’s wrong and she was short with me and sounded tired. I obviously considered the traumatic events that have just happened in her life but I let her to know I would be there if she needed anything. After that day she hasn’t responded back to me. She hasn’t read my messages but I can see when she’s online as well. Her phone broke a couple days prior so our means of communication was through an app. So I can only call when she’s online. I don’t want to badger her and annoy her with calls and texts especially if she’s not even gonna respond to my other texts I’ve sent her. Just asking if she was ok and a funny inside joke we have. I only sent three spaced apart in days. I don’t know what happened exactly but it left me confused since I had just started developing feelings for her. It’s hard to find someone who’s willing to travel to a different state to get to know you and everything else about her I’m very much interested in. What should I do?

  31. Hi Apollonian
    I had girlfriend .we fall in love but our love didn’t last long three month .due her problems she demand a lot of staff I wouldnt get them then she start to call me liar becoz I promise her if I get money I will provide u with anything u need. But money didn’t come on way ..her best friend gal like chatting with me at her place but she start telling me she has new boyfriend …I didnt take that serious becoz we talk sometimes in her work place for 2week more then I realizes that she doesn’t love anymore she can’t talk to me but other guys ..not on social media I broke up with up her but her friend want me to love back again I left her but her friend look interested in me
    Should take as new girlfriend ??? Wat should I do pliz

    1. Hey Patrick,
      I think this is a very important time to focus and work on yourself. If you take her friend on for a relationship then that can be dangerously close to a rebound since your breakup seems kind of recent. I would focus on my goals, what I want to accomplish, my work, and my emotional/mental health.

  32. No woman has ever been attracted to me other than as a platonic friend and I honestly believe that none ever could be. They say a guy shouldn’t show interest or ask a woman out unless he’s pretty certain she’ll say yes (i.e., she gives him clear signals). Since I have never gotten signals, I have never asked any woman out – and I never express my interest in her either. I’m 44 and never gone on a date – I’ve never asked for one because I’d be accused of harassment for even hinting I’m interested in any woman. I have women friends but am not about to accept their offers to help me with this – I’m just too far behind the starting line with the whole game of attraction, dating and all of it to even contemplate trying. The fact is: I cannot attract anyone because I am not attractive.

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