10 Signs Shes Not Into You Anymore!

Isn’t it frustrating when you don’t know if she’s into you anymore? That’s why it’s so important that you read this article because I am going to give you 10 signs she’s not into you anymore. These signs are signs that happen in real life situations that a lot of people choose not to talk about. Not only will I be giving you the signs on how to tell shes just not interested. But I will also give you a couple of recommendation on how you can move forward or even try to get her back into you at this very moment.

I love hearing from you so please comment below, and I will answer them personally!

How to know if she’s not interested anymore.

Love not being reciprocated is a hard thing to swallow let’s be honest! It’s one of the most challenging things you have to swallow when someone else does not love you back. There are many feelings that I know you are experiencing right now as uncomfortable as it may be. The sense of rejection, humiliation, and that inner voice telling you-you aren’t good enough. But don’t worry, it does not last forever! You might be starting to realize the girl of your dreams may not be that into you, and when you understand this you’ve not only found yourself here, but you’ve been faced with doubt and maybe choosing the route of denial.

You’ve probably seen yourself looking back on old text messages or thoughts trying to analyze every situation to make you feel better or even get your answers. Ultimately, to carry on a relationship where another isn’t reciprocating you’re prolonging the heartbreak. You can’t force someone into liking you back no matter how hard you try, how much of a nice guy you are, and at the end of the day it’s better that you know the truth and moves on quickly to someone else that likes you. So, if you are fearful that the woman you love has fewer feelings for you, I am going to share the top 10 signs that will confirm this for sure.

Signs she is not into you anymore.

1. She Uses The Word “Friends” To loosely: She might be casually talking to you and saying things like “you’re such a good friend” etc. Whenever a woman uses this loosely around you and gives you no sign of physical connection, then she only sees you as a friend, and this is her way of telling you this indirectly, so she does not have to face that she has hurt your feelings.

2. She Responds and Calls When It’s Convenient For Her: Since you aren’t a priority to her then she sometimes forgets to respond she may find it boring to respond to you. She has no urgency to see you or is not thrilled about seeing your calls or text, so she does this when she has nothing else better to do.

3. She Does Not Reply To Your Text or always gives excuses: She responds but gives you an excuse. Like “I’ve been busy, I’m so sorry.” and the list goes on!

4. She constantly flakes on plans: So typically if something else comes up better in she will cancel plans with you. Also, you might get to the point where you have talked about plans together, and nothing ever happens. She just never responds. Another thing that’s very common is she might even do the “I’m bored” text a lot with you and plan things last minute just because she doesn’t feel like being home alone and may need some attention.

5. She doesn’t care what she looks like in front of you: she does not take the time to look pretty or even get dressed up. Women that are interested care what they look like especially in the beginning stages with a man.

6. She avoids physical contact: When a woman is interested in one of the most important signs is physical contact. A vital sign that two people are romantically involved is constant touching: Resting hands on each other’s legs, grazing backs of arms or even playfully hitting each other. If your crush isn’t doing any of these things, and if her body language is stiff and unapproachable, then she’s giving you subtle signs she’s not interested.

“I took a girl out on a date,” explained Peter, 32. “I was driving her home, and as I dropped her off, I went in for a kiss expecting that she would reciprocate. She backed away and told me that it wasn’t the right time and she wanted to go home. This confirmed she wasn’t interested in me!”

7. She does not introduce you to anyone important to her: If you and this woman have been “dating” (at least, in your eyes), she might not let you meet anyone in her world. Introducing close friends and family to a partner is one of the most solid signs of commitment, and if she does not introduce you as well as talk about them with you. This can be a sure sign that she does not see a future with you.

8. She tells you directly or indirectly that she’s not interested: She might throw you hints here and there that she is not interested. She might say something like “ I don’t want a relationship right now.” or “I just want to have fun.” or the famous words “Your such a great friend!” Also, if she’s been direct with you about how she isn’t interested and has told you upfront, then it’s time to move on.

9. She does not commit to anything that has to do with the future: This is familiar with the sign of not introducing you to friends or family, but this comes into play with future events as well. Let’s say New Years comes around or a holiday and you’re not first to be on the hangout list then this is a sure sign that she’s not interested. Here what a woman has to say.

“ I remember when I was talking to this guy I wasn’t interested in and I was invited to a wedding. Typically you can bring a plus one, and I didn’t invite him. This was because I wasn’t interested and to be honest I didn’t even think of it till now.” -28 Amanda

10. She leaves you behind and only hangs out with you in groups: Let’s say that you guys do hang out. Well, when you hang out does she pay attention to everyone else but you? Also, where do you take her out? Do you take her to beautiful and scenic places that she loves and that’s the only reason why she goes out with you? Pay attention to her habits this is going to be key for you!

How to tell a girl is not into you & what to do moving forward!

One of the most common trends I see today is people will ignore each other and not talk to one another and ghost one another to let them go without confrontation. Typically this happens when you don’t hear from them for a while, or you might see some new photos of them traveling or with another man on social media!

Here is the simplest and most comfortable thing for you to always remember. Everyone gets rejected, and everyone isn’t always someone’s best match. It’s a lot to do with timing and where an individual is at the time of their life. The best thing that you can do here is focused on you! What excites you? Focus on that! Pay less time and attention to the woman that you are in love with or have a crush on and do things that uplift you. Get your confidence back and book a trip and do something spontaneous. Start dating again and also post some photos of your recent spontaneous trip on social media. I can guarantee that when you do something different this girl might see you in a different light and if she doesn’t then that’s not your fault it’s hers! Remember don’t ever think that you’re not good enough just because a woman wasn’t ready for you or didn’t like you because I can guarantee you the moment you focus on you and walk away with dignity will be the moment another woman comes in asking for you to give her that opportunity!

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

Are you sick of not getting the girls you want and not attracting them? Do you want to be the man women approach and want? If you answered yes, now is your time to book a session with Apollonia now. If you want real results then act fast!  Book a coaching session here.

Apollonia Ponti, an international certified coach and founder of apolloniaponti.com. She works with ambitious men to attract the woman they desire, build confidence, master their attraction skills and helps rebuild relationships. You can find her expert advice on “is she using me”, plus a couple other of your core professional services, through her YouTube Channel, and Attract a Woman E-Book

To get real results with women NOW! Change your life and master your attraction. Book a coaching session here.


  1. Aaron

    So I have been in love with a friend of mine I have known for about 5 years now, I just fell for her recently and yes it freaked me out, I told her how I felt and she was really cool about it, I even told her when I started having dreams about her and she was still cool with it, turns out she told a couple of friends that she had feelings for me too, but wouldn’t tell me. I even looked her dead I’m the eyes and told her I was crazy about her and that I wanted a chance to make her happy, and I could see she had feelings for me that and her friends told me she did, but still she couldn’t look me in the eye and tell me how she felt, she then finally sent me a msg saying that she was sorry but she didn’t have feelings for me, I knew she was lying bc I knew she did. Then I find out a couple of wks later that she messing with another dude who is clearly bad for her, and now she avoids eye contact and even talking to me, things have been awkward for about a wk now, but she will still ask her friends about me and if anything jas been said about us, I dont get it, she moved on to someone wlae6and abandoned me with my feelings, but still she asks about me and she wont block me from fb or any other social media, I dont get it, can anyone give me aim advice bc I’m so lost,.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Aaron,
      It seems as though she is young or unstable. The reason why this is happening is that you have not reached out to her so there is a little bit of mystery and she wants to know what you have going on. I would continue to do this and focus on you and see if she initiates contact with you. I would not focus on an outcome with her right now as I’m sure you both will her from eachother again.

  2. Stephen Chimex

    I’m in a relationship with this girl we’re cool though is a long distance relationship and she have anger issues too, but she started changing lately she can be angry with me for two days and sometimes she will acting like she don’t care if I want to go I should, I’m just confused honestly please I need your help. Thanks


    • John

      Bro take it from me any long distance relationship won’t work. Your gonna get your feelings hurt the guys who are able to be near her will win every time. It’s super hard and I’ve been there but be just friends or break it off all the way. Women can’t survive a lot distance relationship there will always be another guy.

  3. Tsunami

    Hi Appollonian ,

    Ive been dating this girl for a few months and the 1st month was awsome and she texted me everyday and things were flying now 3rd month she says she needed time for herself and i let my foot off the pedal and let her do her thing but we are still seeing each other….. but I feel its not going happen at all, I feel her being distant …. should I just call it and be friends? I am friends with her family and we are cool. I feel why should I continue to put effort in if shes not ready or wants it?
    there is a 11 year difference too
    Thanks Your thoughts?


    • Joe

      Move on she already has. She just doesn’t want to hurt your feelings.

  4. Helmut

    I was/am interested in a girl in a place I am working. Few months back, I send her an email and asked her whether we could hand out and chat. However, she did not reply to my email. I took that as a rejection, and while I was feeling frustrated, I made a mistake and completely ignored her. I would like to talk to her again but it seems that she does not want to talk to me anymore. She seems to be uncomfortable when I say hi. I don’t think I have another chance of asking her out again but should I try to talk to her or leave her alone?


    • Joe

      She didn’t want to talk to you in the first place. Move on bro.

    • Duzzlamy

      Hi. I have been seeing this other lady for a while now. Almost a year now. Things started really good. We could spend time together. The thing is we stay in different towns but close to each other. Just 30km. So she could even pay for my transport just to go see her. I really love her and I always show it to her. The problem comes in when she started repeating mistakes over and over again. I keep telling her that I don’t like it but she keeps doing it. I now feel like she doesn’t care about me anymore. She is probably losing interest in me. Yesterday we decided to talk about what we should do to keep our relationship alive and and the things that we shouldn’t do. As we were talking, she was too much on the fact that she wanted to go home. We talked but I have feelings she didn’t listen to every single word I said to her. Today she is keeps doing the same things that hurts me. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Any advice?

    • Avon

      I feel some statements are true! But on the other hand people behaviors change so then it gets confusing.

    • Harrison

      Hi I have been in a relationship with this girl I meant back then in school.
      Thing has been going on well
      thou we had rough times and all
      I just went for nysc stuff wish is one year, eariler on we do communicate well, but I later discover her behavior towards our relationship
      Firstly was my birthday, no calls or texts no post on the internet. I called her to find out why because I know she did not forget it, but she said nothing that she didn’t feel like to. Got angry for some time because she started apologizing and other stuff
      But now it’s like it even worst
      Since that birthday issue she has never post or written anything concerning me in d sake of us dating. When I confront her she will say

      I don’t feel like
      That’s how I want it

      I have to message her like twice in a row before can reply me
      She is alway busy
      I literally beg her to send me pictures of her

      Am freaking tired of everything it

    • Helmut

      Hey @Joe, thanks for the advice buddy. I moved on long time back. The problem is that we had talked briefly before I sent that email (I consider sending that email a mistake). All she was doing showed me that she is interested. I am a man who wouldn’t make a move without receiving the signals first even if I am in love with that girl. I am not sure why girls do all these craps, checking you out, make eye contact, and so on, when they are not fucking interested in you.

      Now she is constantly checking me out to see whether I am looking at her or not. Perhaps she thinks I am a stalker. What a childish behavior! 🙂

      Hey People, take Joe’s advice and move on if you come across a girl who is playing hard-to-get game.

  5. Craig

    So I met this girl at a restaurant, she was the bartender there, she gave me her number and I waited like 7 hours to text her and she replied fast, but I live in a different city, any how as the days went on I kind of started to fade away and I stopped texting, than I saw one of her instagram photos and I thought she looked good, so I started to text her again. She would take like 20 min to reply and I would take like 30 minutes to reply because I didn’t want to look needy, but I may have overloaded her with text, I know once you think to yourself “is this too much” it probably is too much, so any how she text me out of no where saying “hi” so I text back and she didn’t text me back for like 7 hours until 12am after she was done with her shift so what ever any how she had ask me a question and I didn’t reply back until 1pm the next day because I was still kind of hurt, so the next day when I did reply she said “sorry I can’t text today I’m busy” when I saw that I knew either A I pissed her off or B she’s trying to get even or C she just straight up doesn’t want to talk to me any more, as soon as I saw it, I didn’t reply or do anything, now here I am wondering how do I approach this situation, do I leave her hanging now for the long run and enjoyed it while it lasted or actually try in a couple of days to restart texting again, as soon as I saw that text I knew it was bad


  6. Ricky Martinez

    I’ve been divorced for about a year now and was trying to get back into dating. I did the whole online dating first just to see how it goes. I ended up meeting someone from my past. Actually she’s a sister of a friend I knew in grade school. She’s from the same neighborhood I grew up in. Anyways we hit it off good at first. We have so much in common and who is also divorced from cheating. We both have kids and also stepdaughters we take care of. The first month and a half was good. Always taking and texting, even around our kids, on the phone of course. We went on a couple of dates and they went well. The first date was a normal casual setting the next was out of the blue both of us coming out of the gym. Anyways I know her life is busy, but it seems like she was always talking to me no matter what. Now for the past 3 weeks she seems distant and when we talk about hanging out, she’s always says I’m busy that day or we’ll see when we can go. I’m thinking about giving her her space and see where that leads me. I understand a lot of women have trust issues after they got cheated on. I got cheated on too. I want to ask her what’s going on between us but I’m afraid I’ll look needy or desperate which we all don’t want to look like that. What should I do next. She i just leave her alone and move on or keep trying, but at this point I think I’m just bothering her.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Ricky,
      Thank you for reading this blog. The first thing being that when you meet someone from home, it can feel so comfortable. So the meeting/dating stage may have moved faster than both of you had planned. You also share other familiarity, in that both of you have experienced trust issues with your previous partner. I don’t think that you letting her know how you feel, “you are looking needy”. Set some boundaries and give her some time to think about them. Let her know that at a specific time frame you want to know what her expectations in the relationship are. I know you can do this!

  7. AJ

    My name is AJ And i’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend/Mother of my child for a Year. Things were great until i seen messages of her talking to other guys. We recently got into a fight about the subject and i decided to leave but i stopped cause i didn’t have anywhere to go or i didn’t want to be heartbroken again. After all she is my child’s mother and i want my family but i’m in a position to where i don’t even know if i’m helping myself. We had a talk early this moring about how things were in our relationship and what we needed to work on for this to work but my heart doesn’t feel like she’s wanting to stay as much as she say she does. I’m tired of crying and stressing about what will become of us. What should i do?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi AJ,
      Thank you for reading this blog. You appear to be an honest and supportive individual in a relationship that is experiencing some turmoil. It’s difficult for me to offer advice without knowing more about you and the relationship. Have you suggested professional support to her so you can both work on the issues that are causing the conflicts in the relationship?. Your intuition is telling you that she does not want to stay and I would listen to that inner voice. You are important and so is the future of your child, so whatever decision you make, remember you deserve to be in a happy and healthy relationship.

    • Joe

      Let her go! She’s talking to other guys which means your not her choice. I would still be good parents but eliminate the talk of relationship.

  8. Robert

    Hi Appolonia,
    I recently found out that a friends friend likes me, and conveniently I liked her. But we started to talk and after a couple of weeks, she started to get distant. Ig her life got in the way, but now I’m starting to get suspicious because she’s doing something’s you’ve mentioned in your blog. She texts in two three word replies and she doesn’t answer like she used to. Her life is hard, and it’s probably why she isn’t texting as much, but I wanted to make sure because if she doesn’t like me anymore…
    Anyways, she does talk to me when we go out, and she has the proper body language, but after when we text and she doesn’t seem interested like she used to be. (Btw we text more than see each other because our schedules are packed.)
    Is she still into me? Or is it just life?
    And if it is life how can I help? She has depression, and she is adopted so she can’t really rely on her family.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Robert,
      Thank you for reading my blog, She’s not into me anymore. It’s difficult when she becomes hot and cold. Without knowing more about you and your relationship, I cannot give you advice that could be helpful. If you would like to have a private coaching session tailored to your needs, here is my link; https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/

  9. Paul

    Hi Apollonia –
    I’ve never approached a woman because I have never seen evidence that a woman would be open to me doing so. As such, I assume I’m somehow naturally unattractive to women. Even if i really like her, I’m not about to approach a woman without a clear sign from her that she wants me to because someone like me doing so would probably offend her and I’d run a strong risk of being [falsely] accused of harassment for just politely saying ‘Hello’. Do you have any thoughts?


  10. jacob

    hi Apollonia Ponti i am little confused i have been in relation with girl from last 5 month now i am confused weather she like me or not me because we are university class fellows. now when i invite her for date she refuses me in a polite way before she spend whole day of weekend with me video call every night . when i try to give her space but she always try to initiate contact with me everyday she come to my office in univesity and we have good convesation weather she put me in friend zone or not still we flirting with each other every day she still text me where are u ? what are u doing? if she donot see me in office . i never iniate contact with her until i have some urgent work and she respond to my texts in few seconds as like before.


  11. Leroy

    Hey , I started talking to this really attractive girl who I was introduced to by my friend. He had told me the girl had previously expressed interest in him but he never pursued. So while I texted her she gave me short 1-3 word responses but I was able to set up a time to meet. Eventually she flakes on me and said she was sick. I ended up seeing her later while she was talking to someone and it seemed as if her body language was off. She didn’t even make an effort to greet me and was talking to my friend the entire time. Should I pursue her or let her go?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Leroy,
      Thank you for reading my blog, 10 signs she is not into you. Leroy, it’s important when you are pursuing a girl that she reciprocate because a relationship is two sided. I cannot advice you, if you should pursue her, because I do not know enough about you or her. I recommend that you listen to your intuition, you are important and you deserves someone who values you.

    • Joe

      Anytime a woman texts you short lines that means she’s not interested take the hint and save your pride. If women are interested they will go out of their way to communicate with you. If not then your not her guy. There is 3billion people on this planet you deserve someone who’s going to make you a priority.

  12. Anoop

    Hi Apollonia,

    I met this girl 6 months ago and we continued to date on and off. In the beginning we had a great time but later on it went boring. She is introvert and not so good when it comes to reciprocating so I felt lesser connection. A month after dating I began to feel like she is not that into me. Whenever she demanded space I would agree and focus on myself and she use to come back. I tried everything by watching your videos to make her go crazy for me but I don’t know why this is not working on her which worked on every other girl that I have dated. We have not contacted each other since one month and my intention is to bring her back and make her fall for me. How can I do that? any suggestion?



    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Anoop,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I’m so glad to hear that my suggestions in my videos have been helpful to you with other women, but not with this particular girl. It’s important when you are dating someone that she reciprocate, even if she is an introvert. In order for me to give you some suggestions, I need to know more about you and the relationship and why you appear to be so consumed with her. Here is my link if you would like to arrange a private coaching session tailored to your situation;

  13. Tony

    Hello Ms. Ponti,

    I have been talking to and seeing this girl for about a month and it started off great, too great. We spent almost all our free time together. Lately, she has been acting indifferent and distant. She used to respond to texts with excitement and love, now they are just bland.
    She is very hard to read and I tried asking her how she feels but she just deflects my questions. She says shes interested in being with me, but I just do not sense that from how she treats me. I tried giving her some space as i was putting her under too much pressure, but I cannot help but wonder and want to ask her questions. Thanks for all your work, and I hope to hear back!


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Tony,

      Thank you for reading my blog on 10 signs she not into you anymore. I think the relationship started going so fast that she might be feeling overwhelmed with all the emotions. Give her time and space and try not to pressure her into giving you an answer during this time. Take this time to do some self development so you can grow from this experience. Listen to your intuition and the way she is treating you, because what she is doing none verbally is the answers you are seeking. In doing this you are showing her your sense of independence. Also let her initiate contact more.

  14. Henry

    Hi Apollonia,

    I have a 6 years long relationship. As time passed I got busy with my goals of making more money in life and took her for granted. Although she didn’t claimed it but when she asked for a space, I certailnly realised the mistakes I made during my relationship. Meanwhile, she had a crush on someone who was forcing her to be in relationship with her or he’ll die. I did the blunder by countering him, that before he dies, I will die. I got my girl back but since then our relationship is in certain lows and she doesn’t feel any attraction for me anymore. She asked for space, I gave it but things are not coming on track. She refuses to go on trips with me, kiss me or even have sex with me. She says she has lost feelings for me. I sincerely did all the hardwork for us to have a better future but all reversed. What do I do in this case.

    I deeply admire your suggestions as there’s no one better coach and no one who better understand the girls better than you.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Henry,
      Thank you for reading my blog on 10 signs she not into you anymore. I recommend you give her the space that she is asking for and don’t pressure her into a relationship that she may not be ready for. Also, it’s important to build a relationship on honesty and not make up a story to try to win someone’s heart. I recommend you take this time to work on doing some self development. I have two audio videos that I would recommend to help you in this process. If interested here are the links:

    • Tim

      Hi Apollonia,

      I have met this girl for slightly over a month now, I would say she is certainly one of the best, if not THE BEST girl I have ever met. She is bubbly, cheeky, hardworking, smart, extremely respectful towards elders, as kind as an angel… she is not the most pretty one, but I am in love with her soul, soo the situation is like this…
      We were strangers until, one day, I invited her out for a meal, and she actually turned up! She even dressed up for it, the thought of the cute little girl is more than enough to make me blush. since I was the one asking her out. It was a short daeto, nothing much, just having some talks, understanding more about each other, after having the food:)
      Afterwards, I got her contact and had been constantly texting her almost everyday. We enjoyed flirting each other with the occasional uses of sacarsm. She will ALWAYS reply* so far, based on what was observed. But rarely initiate the conversation.
      She studies college in a different state, so it would be difficult for us to meet up.
      And recently, I tried to ask if she wants to be my girl(in the middle of the text), I wasn’t sure if I ain’t being sincere enough cause it was on texting , but still she would blatantly reject the idea. Not once, it’s been at least twice, whats more it’s making me even sad when she text back like idont know how to say this… but I can feel there’s definitely something missing: enthusiasm. It wasn’t like this before.
      So now I haven’t texted her for a few days, almost a week. Instead, I turn on the chat just to see her online status and wonder why she isn’t saying anything and getting depressed over it.

      Should I really move on? Or stay on for a while and meet her up again to talk it through?
      I hate to think that all this is onesided and maybe she is just being kind to me, as a friend.
      I am certain that I am being clear that I see her more than merely a close friend, rather I want to see her as a romantic partner!
      Help me out pls, I am very very confused. It’s been so bad that I actually cried under my pillow.
      God bless

  15. Hansel geogio

    I have a friend for over a month. I am madly interested in just only time I see her is on weekends nights due to my work . I am 37 and shes 39 but i feel older the way i speak to her, ive been in alot of distrust relationships. I talk to her non stop i dont want to except another bad relationship. Friday i brought her flowers letting her know that i care i dont to be a booty call person nor friends with benefits. All her friends on FB are old ugly guys and she never dated a young guy before. Just the way we felt now feel like she messing around ._.__.. What should I do and thanks


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Hansel,
      It’s hard for me to give you advice if I don’t know the situation. I would encourage you to book a session so you can get some further advice. If that does not help I would recommend watching some of my YouTube videos.

  16. Clifford biney

    Hi apollonian,
    I’ve lived with a girl for the past 4yrs now and we are even having a two yrs daughter and now her life and attitude has changed..when she visits her mum she don’t come home,she doesn’t do anything again,even conplains alot when I want to have sex with her….I’ve conplained to her mum but still to no avail and later we had fight over the same issue she told I’m worrying her alot not making her enjoys her life and told her bro that she won’t stays with me again and her mum said if I love her I should come and ask her hands in marriage or if anyone comes they’ll give her to that person and now the girl has changed her mouth again that she loves me..I’m confused apollonian…should I accept her again or leave her ….


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Clifford,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I appreciate your comment. It’s hard when there are different opinions and complaints as you have described. In oder to give you advice on your situation, I need to know more about you and the relationship. If you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your needs, here is my link where you can make the arrangements:

  17. Henry Ekene

    Hi Apollonia,
    I met my girlfriend December last year and we have been dating until her decision to go back to school. Which is far away from my current location where I work. But 2 weeks ago I noticed she hardly picks my phone calls and hard response to my whatsapp messages and claim her phone is not good and does not reply to my ‘I love you’ anytime we talk on the phone. Just yesterday I called to check on her and she told me she is travelling for her Grandfather burial And that she would take the early morning bus. She removed he DP on whatsapp and always comes online often without saying Hi.


  18. Brian Heims

    Hi Apollonia,
    I have been going out with a girl for about 3 months now. Before we had a great time. She would smile at me and wanted to have conversations now it seems like anytime we are in a group she always smiles at everybody but when i go to say something she just stares at me and then she goes back to smiling and having a great time. I love her and she says that she loves me but whenever we are in public she doesn’t act like it. Also she smiles at my friend which is a guy. I don’t think that she is into me anymore, but i feel like if i lose her then I will be stupid. I don’t want to break up. Should I ask her what she thinks of our relationship at this moment or should i wait. Im a senior in high school and she is a freshman. I feel like after i graduate she is going to break up with me anyway. Should i be patient and wait to see what happens. This is also my first real relationship that i had. Im terrible at reading emoitions. Sometimes she is happy and it seems like she wants me but not in pubic. Mabey its because she doesn’t like to show stuff in public. IDK anymore. Please help me. I don’t know what to do anymore.


    • Divyanshu sankhala

      Exact same thing is happening to me. (Except the privacy part. Privacy is like important here and even i dont want my relationship go public).There is this girl i met in my last coaching. We were in different batches. She used to smile at me whenever we met in interval or after the class ended. I also noticed that she used to smile at my friend too who is like a step forward than me in terms of girls. But thankfully he left d coaching and the path was clear for me. This thing is like 1 month back now. I was going to leave that coaching, and we started talking a little bit in my last few days. I started dropping her home after the class. I specially brought d car to coaching to impress her and so that we could talk in the car. I took her number. We started talking on whatsapp but what i noticed was that she replied very short to my messages. It was like i used 3 lines for my texts and hers were one liners. She never looked enthusiastic. I thought she was not into me. And by d way i come from a rich family background, my father is at a good position in state govt. and she is like middle class. And we both are doin’ preparation for competition exams and she is like good in studies. In one of my last days of d coaching after dropping her home i proposed her anyway and poured my heart to her about how i started liking her after she smiled at me. To my surprise she accepted d proposal and we talked for like half an hour when she told about her past experiences about boyfriends. She told me very frankly about her past relationships about how she was commited to a guy for 2 years and they were goin to marry but something went wrong. They broke up. And another boy whom i know personally proposed to her but she rejected her. She was very frank. We agreed that we would not waste each others time much and keep our focus on studies. I was feeling awesome that day..she told me how she rejected someone but she didnt reject me..yeahh. After that i left d coaching and we talked like once a day. But i never felt her enthusiasm for d relationship. I think she smiles at me lesser than d beginning now. She rarely picks d call at once. 2 times i reached her coaching to pick her up, she didnt even text me she didnt go. Whenever we meet like once in 3-4 days i get happy with her reaction. But in terms of phone calls or texts, her responses are unsatisfactory. Same as before proposing her. I even clarified with her whether she even wants this relationship and if she doesn’t i wont show my face to her ever. But she said she was interested. It has been 10 days since that day. But im not getting d response or d exitement i expected. Day before yesterday we agreed to meet for our 1st date on 30 april. I was happy then. And today i called her she picked up and said she was out of town and said she was busy and told me that she would call back. She didnt. I texted her after i could not resist myself. Send her 3 texts..1.you didnt call back..2.if u hav problem we could talk after u come back…3.when are u comin back?? Her only reply after my 3rd text- on29.
      Nothing else. I cant decipher whats in her head and its killing me and affecting my studies too. Either she cant risk being caught by family..not interested..not sure…focusing on studies…said yes for once as im rich..now i m thinking why d hell did she even said yes. Only positive thing i can think of is that our 1st date is still on. Is this normal in d beginning of d relationship.? What should i do.? Please suggest me something to fix this. Or just share ur views about what u think of this scenerio.

  19. Yuri

    > because I can guarantee you the moment you focus on you and walk away
    > with dignity will be the moment another woman comes in asking for you
    > to give her that opportunity!

    That’s just not true. Alas.
    I’ve been there, I know better.


  20. Peter

    Why does this girl keep blowing hot and cold on me .we are at a platonic stage drinks group friends etc .When she has alot to drink she will snuggle into me etc and she says she loves my humour but couple of days later her texts our dry and cold .I done what you said and distanced myself and went travelling in cub a for two months so hadn’t seen her then she stated to interact with me again and show interest laughing etc then couple of days later back to being dry etc doing my head in advise appreciated thank you


  21. Seeking answer

    Hi Apollonian…
    I have my gf for three years….last year she went back to her country but we still in touch strongly till 6 months ago when she visited me in my country…some bad great happened from my side to her due to my jealousy…since then when she back to her country, she changed and she always says not in mood to talk or busy in work…we broke up twice in the last 6 months but she finds reasons to back to me…I have asked her twice to discuss our relation to start again but she always reply that she doesn’t want to talk, she asked me to go and read books or articles how to deal with her and this how I end up in your blog 🙂 …now she planning to spend her birthday with me next month but she still in busy mode or tells not in mood to talk…I am very confused…is she not interested to be with me or she want to continue with me but hurted from last time incidence…plz advice from your point of view…thanks


    • Dee

      Maybe she have someone else, me myself I don’t get involved in long distance relationships because you never know what a person is really up to. So I think you should get a girl closer to you and date her. But don’t be a dick to this girl your talking about now. If she wants to hang out once she comes back here or wherever you at, hang out with her and keep it like that. But you should be going out and getting other girls and stop worrying about this one your talking about. Because from the way it sounds it sounds like she has someone else beating her pussy up. So go out there get another girl who lives closer to you and date her and stop contacting the one your talking about. A lot of times when you make your self less available you become more attractive to girls and then they’ll come back looking for you. Now because your busy. Busy beating up some other girls pussy. Anyways good luck bro

  22. Jo

    Apolonia. Sorry made a mistake in the previous comment ” SHE WAS VERY SUBMISSIVE AND READY TO DO ANYTHING” NOT I


    • rdm

      True words

  23. Jo

    Hi Apolonia, Im 22 .This girl approached me when we first met in highschool, its almost 3yrs we know each other. We got to know each other in the 1st year(wasnt really interested then) and we dated later for almost more than a year when were done w/ highschool going to college. I had started working and schooling, was very busy but we had magical dates. She would pratically do anything i asked i was crazy and was very submissive. Out of the blue, She begun not showing up on dates. Eventually she started asking girls…”why are you so well dressed”…”who was that girl”…etc Then would go weeks w/out reaching out. I mostly remained centered for her behaviour was actually getting funny like she was my gf. Until one day(JULY), we agreed she’d come over. She didnt show. I took my distance letting her know calmly that night i wasnt happy w/ her behaviour w.out bitching ofcourse. The following week she reached out telling me she’d starting classes at college.Basically always texting informing me about her daily. I gave brief indifferent answers. She came up w/ the funniest reasons to just text me. But then coming Sept. it all stopped. She called me in Oct. couldnt return her call but text back. It pissed her off that I didnt bother to call back just text. Silence till November, she called asking what she’d done wrong. When she called and my line was busy shed assume automatically that im talking to another girl so ive ignored her. Late Dec, on my Bday she called wishing me Merry Xmas and Happy Bday,(i never told her my bday) . At the end of the call she acted again like she was the victim, forgetting how she misbehaved in the past. It ended w/ “this is the last time Im calling you, to see if you’d atleast check up for once or care about “a friend” Bye. Texted 2 days later”I will be @my Aunts in 2days @7pm , you can come over.” She saw it immediately, no response. Till now. What’s going on? Lastly on the last 2 calls when she asked when she’d me , I let her know she’d have to make it up to me first. Very rarely post on social media but when I do shed be the first to like. Advice please


  24. Haq



  25. Haq

    Hey Appollonia
    Thanks for your good tips and videos
    My gf made me confused whenever I talk with her or text her she doesn’t show curiousity and interest and stop replying. Whenever I don’t reply for 2 or 3 days she starts replying again and same repeated again and again
    Please guide me either she is interested or not and why she is behaving like this.


  26. Hemsa

    Apollonia (sorry for the lengthy comment, idk if its appropriate or not),
    I have fallen for her, she approached even before we knew each other or anything
    to know abt a technicality in admission procedure, then a thing led to another and
    we know each other for around 4 months. Her responses when we saw each other for the 4 months,
    i have listed them in a series as per your points. I am way too confused as to what is happening,
    i would be very grateful if u could help me, just to know if she’s into me or not or she just is pretending to ignore me

    1. About the first point, i do know that she has said once to her bestie that
    she “i would never ever break friendship with him”

    2. About the calling, in 60% cases she picks up my call and when she doesn’t pick it, she won’t call back in abt 75% cases.

    3. She won’t reply every time, but will have them seen as soon as she gets them

    4. She has flaked on some plans unnecessarily

    5. I can’t say if she cares or not, i never noticed it that much

    6. She doesn’t contact avoid it completely, many a times, she would play with my hair, swipe her hand over my knees and hand
    Also, if i approach, like when u try to hold her hand, she just holds it, but way too lightly

    7. Introduction is something that actually never happened much from both sides, but we have talked among us abt them

    8. Abt telling how interested, i don’t know what the following sentence would actually mean, she said it around
    2 months after we were seeing each other, ” I just really wanna be in a relationship with a great guy, i just am a
    bit scared ‘coz of the past”

    9. That hasn’t happened much as she doesn’t have a lot many friends here

    10. Sometimes, sometimes not, happens around 60% that she is with one person, but she does leave them if i say so

    Thanks again Apollonia


  27. Michael

    Hey Apollonia,
    What if you don’t know if you’re the one doing things wrong or if she is? For example, we had an argument a couple of months ago and I have been thinking of calling her or even texting her. Now, the thing is, I have no clue what to say. Every time I want to send the little “Hey” I feel like she’s moved on and I’m making myself look stupid. What would you do?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Michael,
      At the end of the day, what do you have to lose? If you still think something is there text her and if she rejects you it might sting but that’s only temporarily. If she is a good woman and you think you can connect again then try it. Wishing you the best of luck!

  28. Daniel Salazar

    Everything you said in your blog is happening to me. Apollonia I really fell hard for her.i know it’s a bitter pill to swallow and sadly I have let her go . I will learn this lesson maybe some girl think of me because I know I can make her happy and I deserve to be treated with respect and love.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hello Daniel,
      I am sorry this happened I know it’s difficult and I am here to help you every step of the way. Here is an article about letting go that will help you. Please feel free to comment there if you have any questions. 🙂 https://www.apolloniaponti.com/how-do-i-let-go/

    • Henry Ekene

      Hi Apollonian,
      I met my girlfriend December last year and we have been dating until her decision to go back to school( part time thought school is on strike) but she works but which is far away from my current place. Two weeks ago I noticed she hardly picks my phone calls and hard response to my whatsapp messages and claim She is always busy. She hardly response to my ‘I love you’ and her whatsapp chat always indicate she is online. I have done so much for her and I really love her. ( I sent you a previous message with a wrong email address

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I work with YOU, men, to master your attraction skills and confidence in order to find the right partner or become an irresistible dater, Deepen your current relationship, or get out of the friend-zone!


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