How To Get A Girl’s Number Without EXPECTATIONS & Being CREEPY!
There is no right way or no specific thing that you’re supposed to say or pickup line to get a girl’s number. There are so many people out there saying that there is this specific thing that you need to do and do it immediately, and if you’re an introverted guy, this is going to be even harder for you. There is no such thing as a specific line to say to a woman to get her number. I’m going to tell you exactly how to get her number, and I’m going to give you some results. After you read this article, I want you to really go out there and try what I’m telling you. These tools will not only score you women’s numbers, but they will absolutely improve your life overall.
How to get a girls phone number without being creepy!
The first thing I want to point out with this whole thing is there are no limitations in getting a girl’s number when you’re out. There’s no rules. There’s no “do this, don’t do that.” You are out in a public scene, so what makes you think that you could not approach a woman? We have to bring that back, because online dating has taken over so much where people are not approaching anybody and everybody’s in their own bubble, on their phone. That’s not what we’re doing here because I’m going to make you the man that’s going to stick out from every other guy out there so you can score more women.
So first of all, think about that and understand that there are no boundaries only personal “space” boundaries and there are no rules. Then from there, when you see a woman that you are intrigued by, I want you to look at her and make eye contact with her. And even if you can’t get her to make eye contact with you because you can’t see her, I want you to show her your confidence, and your boldness because you, as the man, go after exactly what you want. And that is something that women love. Women love this is because we as women love to feel special. A lot of male coaches say don’t compliment women, don’t make them feel this certain way, don’t make them feel special. And it’s all wrong.
As a woman myself, even if I’m not interested in the guy, when he approaches me in that first moment, if he makes me feel special and compliments me possibly about what I have on or what I may look like and says something like, “You’re really beautiful. My name is Adam, what is your name?” And gives me a firm handshake, not a light handshake, something firm, because that shows boldness, inner confidence, and that he goes after what he wants and is not scared to say, “I saw you from across the street and I had to say something to you.” “I saw you from across the bar and I just couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you are.” That is something that captivates women!
Now all of this advice out there to not compliment a woman when you first approach her is BS. You can compliment her but you don’t want to over compliment her and have nothing else to say! Because of the fact that women want to feel special. Women have this thing in their mind that they feel like they want to be the chosen one, right? And I want you to really understand this. Women gets dressed up, women look nice, woman love beauty. Sometimes women try to wear things to get attention, but hopefully the right attention, and it’s because this is what we are. This is beauty to us. Beauty is the essence of a woman.
So when a man can compliment her beauty, it means the time and effort that she put in on that night out or that day that got her there was well received, and the time that she put into her beauty is a compliment to her because it’s time that she’s invested in herself. Women want to feel special because they also see that you are interested in them, and that’s something that’s very attractive to us.
Now the difference here is you don’t want to come off as desperate. I think one compliment is great and then going into a casual conversation, creating banter and some laughs here and there and then just asking for the number. You don’t want to stand there and talk her up for too long. Just enough to create that banter and make her laugh and then get her number! A lot of times a guy might start talking to a woman, but she’s with her friends and if the conversation goes on for too long, she’s sitting there thinking “Okay can you please leave now? I’m here for my friends.” And you could lose out on getting a date with her that way. So get in, eye contact, banter, smile and laugh. Check your watch and have a moment where you realize you have to go, and get her number! Short, simple, and make her want more.
So in a public scenario if she’s alone, you can spend a little more time with her, of course. But how often do you see a woman alone? If she is alone, that’s a prime time to really approach a woman and just talk to her. But other than that, especially if she is with a group of friends, understand that you want to get a woman’s number in the first two to three minutes of approaching her.
I talk about this in my M2D Formula. But it’s really important that you go in with a plan and you just go after exactly what you want and you tell her why her. And then from there have some conversations about your area, why you’re here, things like that, what she does, yada yada. And be like, “Okay, well I would like to get to know you a little bit better. What do you say I grab your number and maybe we can make a date and have some lunch or dinner one day? Here’s my phone, why don’t you put your number in it?” And you literally hand her your phone and give her the opportunity to put her number in it.
Then you get her number within two to three minutes and you walk away with your integrity still and you move on and you go back to what you were doing with your friends and have some fun. Even if you’re in the same vicinity, it creates tension because you have moved on after you gave her your number, laughing with your friends, having fun with your friends. And then finally you can plan a date with her within a day or two after.
There’s so much misinformation out there that you have to do things a certain way, or say a certain thing, and it’s BS. I talk about this a lot in my boot camps and when we do our pick-up techniques, and it’s just: approaching women with a hello is enough, guys. I want you to really understand that women want to feel special. Just by you pointing her out of a crowd, approaching her and giving her a compliment, you are going to be so much more ahead of so many other men out there that aren’t doing this because you’re reading it here in this article.
There’s so many men that don’t have this opportunity or they don’t use this opportunity to their advantage. And so women like me and other women out there don’t get approached often because men are scared. And do you know how many opportunities men could have had with me if they just approached me? Because I probably thought, “He might be a good potential, but maybe he’s not going to approach me.” Yeah, you’re probably thinking, “Why doesn’t a woman approach me?” Well it doesn’t happen like that guys. It’s a masculine essence that a man brings in. I always say this, it’s a dominant nature that the man does the approach and the woman receives.
So if you’re stuck in the world of why can’t women approach me? Well, good luck, because you’re going to stay there. It’s time to take the initiative. It’s time to put these actions into work. My goal for you is after you’ve read this article, I want you to challenge yourself to do what’s not comfortable. Get a girl’s number, because you are going to stand out from a lot of men out there. I want you to approach her and feel confident with getting her number within two or three minutes.
Now I’m not going to say that you won’t be rejected, she might have a boyfriend or something, maybe a girlfriend! But rejection is the ultimate indicator of success and I want you to think of it like this. Why? Because when you are rejected, this means that you succeeded because of the fact that you conquered what made you uncomfortable in the first place. And if you can continue to do this, the rejection will not be uncomfortable for you, and your odds are that you are going to get so much more women and so much more numbers by approaching. And if you’re rejected, don’t focus so much on the rejection. Focus more on how you initiated the conversation and what went well. But here’s the thing, men, eight out of 10 times, I can guarantee you if you continue to approach women like how I’m telling you in this scenario, you are going to score women’s’ numbers.
I had this client, his name was Paul. Paul came to me and did a session with me because of the fact that he was having trouble approaching women. We looked into how much he was really trying to overcompensate in his insecurities and ignore them. Paul had previously hired another male coach that told them to basically ignore his insecurities and then just say these “certain” lines that are just diminishing women and that’s how he’s going to get women. And the result of that? Women were appalled by this and he didn’t get numbers.
So when he started working with me, we focused on that one reason why he was insecure in approaching women. We brought it to the forefront and we brought it to the root and re-explained the reason why he even had those specific insecurities, and I gave him some clarity around this. So I challenged him. He was kind of introverted, so I didn’t want him going out to clubs and meeting women. I want him to go to a coffee shop, maybe a happy hour or something after work.
I challenged him to do this, to approach women the way I spelled it out in this article and within that first week he got four numbers and he wrote me a long, detailed email explaining to me how much better and how much more powerful he felt. And it was so easy for him! But only if he looked at it like this. He faced some rejection along the lines. I think he told me he approached eight to nine women and he got four women’s numbers. Guys, that’s a result. And he went on dates with two of them.
How to get a girl to get your number…
Now! If you are the type of guy that cannot handle rejection, then instead of getting her number after you have approached her and made eye contact, tell her that SHE should get YOUR number. Have confidence. You’ve made her smile, you’ve enjoyed a moment together. You can say something like “I think you should get my number so we can continue this conversation later. Take out your phone.” Tell her to take out her phone. And put your number in there. Put something in there like “Evan. The man of your dreams” or something that will make her smile or laugh reading it. Hand her back the phone, look her in the eyes and say “it was nice meeting you, Sarah.” And walk away.
This is the easiest way to find out if she’s interested guys! If she takes out her phone, great, if not, great, there’s plenty of other women and now you don’t have to worry about it. You don’t have to think of what to text or if she will ghost you. She pulled out her phone for you, you’re golden and the work is done.
Either way you do this, go out there and have some confidence in yourselves! I want you to try and fail as many times as you can. Learn from those! The more you do this, the more comfortable you are going to get. The first time is going to be the scariest and then after that it just gets easier and easier.
Here’s the thing guys. You are your own worst enemy in this. I want you to approach these women and tell me about it below in the comments. If you are finding it hard to approach women, try these techniques. And I also want you to download my Escalation Cheat Sheet to help you understand how to create banter, how to create sexual escalation, and how to pass a woman’s shit test when you are on a date with them, and when you do find some mutual attraction towards each other so you can create that awareness and that sexual chemistry that won’t put you in the friend zone but will lead you into something more.
How to text a girl after getting her number.
Keep it fun a flirty, guys! And do not, I repeat DO NOT, wait 3 days to call or text her. This is not where the 3 day rule works. Waiting too long to call or text her after you walked up to her and got her number is going to make her feel like she wasn’t important and you’re really not that interested, okay? So many times I’ve coached guys that say something like “I don’t want her to feel pressured, I want to give her space.” No! If she doesn’t ask for space, then don’t wait days without talking to her!
Text her 15 minutes after you get her number! Text her something like “Good meeting you, very positive vibe.” When you got the girls number from before, there should be a WHY you should meet again. Maybe there’s a concert you were talking about, or a Mexican restaurant you both brought up. So text her now with that WHY “So this Mexican place on La Cienega, I’m free Friday or Saturday, when works for you?” Set the date! Take charge and make it happen. That’s what she wants! Don’t let her make the decisions, give her 2 options and make it happen. Think about it this way, take away her having to over think or stress about anything. You handle it and make it happen and all she has to do is just enjoy your company. Have fun, flirt, banter, make some mistakes. You’ve got this!
Another technique I have my clients do, is once she gives you her phone number. Call her right in front of her. She might look at you like you’re crazy because your calling her and just look at her and tell her to pickup! Once she picks up. You can look at her in the eye or slightly walk away and say something like… “Now that we got our first awkward phone call out of the way we are one step ahead of killing that awkward moment.”
This is humorous but also shows some confidence! Works like a charm all the time.
3 rules on how to get a girls number quick!
#1 Eye contact and smile.
This is really important guys! Making eye contact and smiling, a little flirty smiling, shows her you are safe and makes her feel wanted and desired. This is key! Eye contact shows confidence and that’s what a woman is looking for, are you going to be the type of confident man for her. Smiling shows flirtation and also helps to drop her guard so you’re not coming off as “intense”. You want to make her feel safe, warm, excited. So before you approach, eye contact and smile first.
#2 Complement her and make her laugh.
After you’ve made eye contact and walked over to her. This is where you want to give her the compliment and keep it short and sweet. You don’t need to overwhelm her with compliments here, guys. Remember, a woman takes her time to get ready and present herself for the day, complimenting her on her beauty. You can say something like “I saw you and to tell you, you look beautiful.” Or “I saw your smile and I had to tell you how beautiful you are.” And leave it alone. Just one compliment and then introduce yourself. Even if you get rejected here guys, think about it this way, you just made someone’s day! Even if she says no to giving her number, you just impacted someone and made them feel good about themselves, and that it pretty incredible.
You also want to listen to her when you’re talking, you can find a way to make her laugh. Pointing something out around you that caught her attention, something crazy that’s happening around you guys. Or even just talking to her, looking in her eyes and teasing her a little. Watch her body language and just mirror what she’s doing, how she’s standing.
#3 Leave her wanting more.
You don’t want to linger around and keep talking to her, especially if she has a group of friends she’s with. Keep it short and sweet and leave her wanting more. After you initiate, shake her hand, do the eye contact and engage with her, give it a couple minutes and get her number. You have things to do, you’re not just there trying to pick up women (at least that’s not what you want to show her). Say something like “I would love to get to know you more. Why don’t I take you out to dinner this week.” Hand her your phone and say “Here’s my phone, why don’t you put your number in.” Smile at her, stand with confidence. Legs hip width apart, this stance allows testosterone to flow through you and gives you more masculine energy. And then walk away. Bonus points if you look back at her, smile, and then turn to keep walking.
If you’d liked today’s article, please comment below. And, as always, I love hearing from you. Comment below, share your results below and I want you to try this today!
You are always loved.
Sign Up For Newsletter
This podcast is here to help inspire you in your life and better understand your relationships so you can maximize the potential of your love life along with your personal life. What you will find here is dating, relationship, and life advice from your host along with some amazing interviews with some pretty amazing experts!
Good afternoon Appolonia This Etchevery Sebastian Paul here ! We spoke last time on the phone about my insecurities of foot fetish and texting now after spoke to you i started getting more results but my biggest issue right now is online dating and I dont know how to follow up with a girl after a first date or when they flake?
Hi Etchevery! Yes I remember! Thank you for reading How to Get a Girl’s Number! I’m so glad that you’re getting more results, that’s great to read! After a first date, just a text saying “I had a great time with you” and add in something specific about the night, maybe she broke a shoe or something happened, you can make a little joke or tease. If a girl flakes, I would suggest just letting it go and not texting. Unless she messages you and there’s something that happened and you guys reschedule, then it’s not the girl for you, right? You want someone that shows up, so that’s a standard, and you are allowed to keep that standard.
Wishing you the absolute best!
Love it! But my now my question is if she texts you and tell you why she cant make it to the date ?Would you reshedule right away with her or would you wait for her to reshedule with you?
Well haha..I don’t know what just happened. So I am in Colombia.I saw this beautiful woman in the grocery store. Long jet black hair. A mini version of JLo. Haha! I was scared to death to approach her, (approach anxiety.) But I told you in our FaceTime that a person like myself, with social anxiety has bursts of irrational adrenaline…triggered by fear. So I nervously walked up behind her and tapped her on the shoulder( I would have preferred jumping out of an airplane with a faulty parachute at this time haha) She jumped as if I startled her. Then she calmed and smiled as she saw that I was trying to tell her something. She didn’t speak English, which I assumed, being in Colombia. I spoke into my google translator, that I was new in the Country and interested in meeting friends and that I wanted to talk to her. She read it and said ok. But then my translator app stalled. My heart was already beating out of my chest. My hands started to shake and my lungs started to tighten. We stood in silence for what seems like forever. So I just asked if she had WhatsApp. She said yes and surprisingly put her number in. And we split. 10 minutes later as I tried to get my Translator to work…cursing while doing it. It finally worked. I immediately texted her and said it was nice meeting her and joked about how my translator failed at the wrong time. She sent a laugh response back and said that it was ok. So I asked her if she was still in the mall, that I would treat her to an ice cream as a friendly gesture. She said that she was leaving, but maybe another day. I said yes of course and made fun of my translator once more. She laughed. So now I’m going to text her again tomorrow. As I left the grocery store, this blog came in, and now I’m checking what I did wrong and if I did anything right at all. There was no eye contact, no handshake….sheesh. I tried to use my foreign status and being new and all alone in her country as a selling point. So…there is that. Haha..
Hi Greg. Thank you for taking the time to read How to Get a Girls Number. This is great!!!! Now you have something to laugh about and a reason to see each other again. You want to find commonality. And just know that she would have a great time hanging out with you. Keep going, it gets easier and you’ll find your comfort zone. Try not to tap a girl next time so you don’t get that startled reaction (if you can avoid it) Try to get in her eyeline first so she sees you first and smile.
You’ve got this!
Wishing you the best,
I love this article! It is really going to help me out. Thank you for making this blog Apollonia. 🙂
Hi Josh, thank you for taking the time to read How to Get a Girl’s Number. I’m so glad that you enjoy the blog and my content! It means the world to me.
Wishing you the best,
God bless you,Apolonia,for everything that you do for us men! And thank you SOOO much!
Hi Mesaros. Thank you so much for taking the time to read How to Get a Girl’s Number. I’m so glad you’re enjoying all of the content and so happy to read this!
Wishing you the absolute best!!
I just subscribed to you channel yesterday and I’m hooked , I’ve been watching and learning from all your videos , it also helps that your very very attractive , thank you for all the good advice ☺️ My hands god clammy when I said you were attractive, is that normal lol ?
Hi Apollonian, you are a good coach my major problem has been overcoming rejection and now you have made me see reason why I should go ahead and approach her
Hi Alabi, thank you for taking the time to read How to Get a Girl’s Number. That’s great! I’m so happy to read this and glad you enjoy my content. Go for it! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, that’s how you learn and grow.
“there are no limitations in getting a girl’s number when you’re out. There’s no rules. There’s no “do this, don’t do that.” You are out in a public scene, so what makes you think that you could not approach a woman? […] So first of all, think about that and understand that there are no boundaries only personal “space” boundaries and there are no rules.”
Hi Apollonia – I’ve been reading your blogs for a while and have to say, based on what I’ve seen, that you are the best online source for dating advice out there. The quote above really goes to the heart of my problem – I never approach women because I don’t feel I can. It’s not that I expect women to approach me – I know they won’t. I have no problem talking to women in general and a lot of women love talking to me, but I’ve never sensed any sexual interest from anyone, so I never say anything. They never talk about other guys to me or mention boyfriends – and in some cases touch/hug me a lot and then eventually grow cold towards me – I never understand why. I don’t feel like I’m able to express sexual interest – the women I like would probably run away if I were to tell them how I feel.
Thank you for reading my blog about how to get a girls number and this is amazing feedback so thank you. I understand what you mean. It isn’t easy especially when you do something for the first time but I do think that we need to get you engaged with women. Even if it’s through friends. I would encourage you to come to one of my boot camps and we can work on this together. 🙂
Hi Apollonia – I am ‘engaged’ with many women in that I enjoy talking to them – and they enjoy talking to me. It’s just that no matter what the circumstances, I never sense the slightest interest in anything other than a totally platonic relationship with me. Could it be that I’m one of those guys who will only experience intimacy if I pay for it?
You could be missing body language signs, or listening to your head which is telling you that as opposed to what’s really happening around you. I really think the bootcamp would be a great fit for you. We can really see what’s happening and how to move forward. https://www.apolloniaponti.co/bootcampshomepage
Hi Apollonia – my women friends tell me that I do get signals from women on occasion. They are always too ambiguous and never clear enough for me to act. I will not risk being accused so I never approach or express my feelings to anyone.
You’re the best
Thank you for your comment. 🙂 Also, thanks for stopping by and reading how to get a girls number. 🙂
There is no point in me asking any woman out because there is zero evidence that any woman would ever say yes. I have no fear of embarrassment at all. Women want to be approached by men they find attractive (and give those men signs); women do not want to be approached by men they find unattractive. Since I never get signs, the conclusion is that I am unattractive to women and therefore that women do not want me to approach them. Given this, I have never asked.
Hi Apollonia – some of us will be seen as creepy by women no matter what – or how much work – we do. What makes men seem creepy when flirting with a girl (I think) comes down to one simple thing: when a guy wants the girl more than she wants him. Life has shown me that no woman wants me on a sexual level (I have many close woman friends – but no more), so I don’t even try, even with women I find incredibly sexually attractive. I take care of myself, etc., but the fact is: I cannot attract anyone on a sexual level.
My problem is that I cannot ask women out no matter what. I’m 38 and have never (even once) been able to force myself to ask a woman out – even though there have been some women ridiculously attracted to. Even more frustrating is the fact that I’ve been told after the fact that some of them were waiting for me to ask them. But I cannot do it. Some of us are beyond hope – and involuntarily live our lives alone.
Hi Apollonia – let me ask you a couple of questions: what actually happens to guys who literally never approach women or ask them out? Are they doomed to be alone forever?
For those of us extreme introverts who aren’t used to approaching women and hooking up all the time, it takes a lot of courage to approach women at all. From the time we were teenagers, we see overzealous girls who will call it sexual harassment and try to ruin a guy’s reputation if he so much as says hello. No, that’s not an exaggeration.
I remember being 18, standing around for a bus, asking a woman who was probably 23 for the time because my phone was dead. She went off on a rant, apparently perceiving this as a pickup line, and judging me of course unworthy, even though I just wanted to figure out when the next bus was. And every time I said “sorry to bother you” she’d go off again. “what kind of man says I’m sorry!!” It’s women like that we remember, when we think about saying hello, and it just shuts us down completely. There are many more stories I can recall right now of that sort. The fact is, I’m now 36 have never so much as held hands or kissed a woman – and of course I’ve never been asked out by a woman either.
So my question to you is – why would I, or any other guy – take a 50/50 risk of being screamed at and called a creep in public, and / or accused of sexual harassment with all the ensuing destruction to all areas of my life?
Bro you don’t need them to send you any signals or anything . for example your out to the grocery store and you see a woman that piques you are you find her attractive. I’m sure she’s not checking you out and she’s more than likely minding her own business but you can still approach her tell her you find your self unable to take your eyes off them etc introduce your self a bit and asked or offer your number to have a chance to get to know each other. if she rejects you no problem but if she gives you her number then you gain something. What I get from the publisher is she’s saying you won’t lose from ether of the results for one if you get rejected and this was something you were uncomfortable doing it will help you to build up your confidence and allow you to be able to accept rejection easier this will be highly beneficial to you in the long run now if you get her number then that’s even better you now have a chance with a girl you find highly attractive :D.