My Girlfriend Wants To Take A Break: What Do I Do?

“What does it mean when my girlfriend wants to take a break?” I am going to make sure you fully understand what it means when a woman says she needs a break. This is something that is so common and many clients ask me about this and book sessions with me in order to overcome the break and get a better understanding of what’s going on.

Here you are going to get a breakdown of what it all means and I will go over the different situations you may have faced that brought you here, and how to turn things around. Women love to say they need space when things aren’t going well, and sometimes this gives you the opportunity to change your approach so you can finally get what you want from the relationship!

A lot of men go into panic mode when this happens! “Apollonia, what does ‘I need space’ mean? She says she wants to take a break! Is it all over?!” If you’re in panic mode, then this is exactly what you’re doing wrong and I will talk about this in detail throughout this article.

I love hearing from you so I welcome your comments below. Please comment on this blog if you need advice or have any questions!

Girlfriend wants to take a break. What does this mean?

A lot of times when a woman is asking for a break, she is either asking for a break because perhaps she fell out of love with you, you’ve become too attached and haven’t disciplined yourself enough to have a life outside of your relationship, you made a mistake in the relationship, or maybe she just doesn’t really truly love herself. So you might have heard, “Oh, I need a break because I need to work on myself,” “I need space because I need to work on myself”, or “You need to work on you, I need to work on me, we need a break!”

90 % of the time, you beg and you plead when a woman says that, and you tell her “No, no, no, we can do this together, don’t do this, don’t break up with me, are we breaking up?” And then she tells you, “No, we’re just on a break, we need to take some time away from each other“. Or, maybe she just told you “We’re breaking up!”

Here’s the thing you don’t know and most men don’t. You can have full control! You can get her back, but you have to do exactly opposite of what you’re programmed to do. And what I mean by “programmed to do” is that we react emotionally. So the first instinct is to react, and our reactions are always about trying to convince that person that they’re making a bad decision.

When it comes to relationships, it’s about human behavior and emotional intelligence. When we’re in relationships, we love that person, but we tend to forget that we are our own individual people, and even though it’s a partnership, you only have control of yourself. That’s why self-love, self-dignity, and self-worth, are the most powerful sources you have within you!

When you have these things, you can balance yourself out to have a healthy relationship. Maybe your relationship had some flaws and both of you need to work on yourselves… And believe me, it’s actually a great thing, but your mindset predicts your reality!

I’m going to give you tips on how to overcome the “I need a break” factor. What I want to emphasize, guys is to not try to gain control of her. She is her own individual, just like you are your own individual. You can’t convince someone to be with you unless they decide that they want to be with you.

That’s how they stay, and that’s how they stick. Convincing is only temporary. So in order to get sustainable results, it will take work so I encourage you to follow my tips below.

My girlfriend wants a break: 4 Expert Tips!

You look at this with compassion, and not from an ego standpoint. You might go through anger, you might go through doubt, you might go through worry, you might go through sadness, or you might even go through all of the above. And you’re sad because you feel like you probably lost the love of your life – you feel like crap! You feel like your whole world has crumbled down, and you are thinking, “How could she do this to me? I trusted her.” Yeah, you did trust her. But no one did anything to you. And this brings us to Tip #1!

Tip #1: Start to look at this like it happened FOR you instead of TO you.

I know it sounds horrible, and it sounds really hard to grasp right now if this is what you’re going through, but nobody intentionally does anything to you. Again, you are your own individual.

Every individual has to look out for themselves. So the way that you advance in this relationship and get this woman back is to understand that first. Have compassion for her and work on finding your own happiness by prioritizing personal growth. This is what is going to spark her interest and her curiosity. When you stop playing the victim role and stop this mentality, you bring a lot of control and masculine energy which attracts women.

Tip # 2: If she needs space, do not contact her!

Here’s what I mean. A lot of times you have trust in this person, but individuality is so important. When someone needs space, give them their space, because this is the time to challenge your attachments. If a woman says that she needs space, give her that space.

Do not call her, do not text her, and here is the biggest worry that I hear all of all. “Apollonia, if I don’t call her, or if I don’t text her, she’s going to forget about me, won’t she? She’s gonna fall out of love with me, won’t she? She wants me to fight for her.” Okay, here is the answer to this million dollar question.

If a woman gives up on you because of the fact that you aren’t putting yourself out there and chasing her after she said that she needed a break, or she needed space, then guess what, guys? She’s not the woman for you. A woman of value and dignity for herself who really wants this relationship to work will not go out there to find another man. She will be invested in herself because the future goal is to try to be with you.

Now, I’m not saying that she is not gonna explore and have fun with her friends. Who knows, but the thing here is you need to show her the type of man that you have become and will continue to be, so she can see that she is missing out on something. You want her to see that you own your own individuality which comes from confidence, and that is so critical in relationships.

Tip 3: Understand what your boundaries are:

When you become clear on your boundaries, you will have a better understanding of how to communicate and how to react differently if these boundaries get tested. Healthy relationships form when you have a clear idea of your values and boundaries because you don’t want to upset your partner.

Your partner will know that their partner will not tolerate behavior that crosses any lines, because that’s what boundaries are for. That’s why it’s so important to have these values; to have these boundaries in relationships.

It’s not a game. It’s your own individual idea of what you need in the relationship. So the both of you can see eye-to-eye, you can both have that healthy thriving happiness and life, grow together, make this world a better place, or reach whatever goals you may have together.

What I mean here is you have to give her her space, and get back your sense of control. So do not text her, do not call her, do not try to convince her. And those silent little ego birdies in our head that are saying she is going to lose focus on you, she’s gonna fall out of love with you if you don’t pop up in her life, but this is false. What’s more, if it does end up happening, it’s actually doing you a favor.

Tip 4: Get back in control:

I work with clients who enter my 30-day program, where we conduct transformational coaching, we work on the man himself, and give him that sense of pride back, give him some sense of confidence, and it really connects dots on why this happened in his relationship. He then advances in his life for himself, and for the relationship in the future.

A lot of times, when they go into what we call No Contact for the 30 to 45 days, they go through a lot of emotions. But you have to have your sense of control. She will reach out to you again, because your habits will be changing. She is used to you continuing to reach out to her, calling her, begging her, and making her your first priority.

When she sees a shift in you, it will spark her curiosity.

So you create an imbalance which creates something different and it’s kind of like electroshock! She starts to wonder, it creates a mystery, she starts to get intrigued, she wants to know. You’ll grab her attention because of the fact that you’ve had this bond for this long, but now all of a sudden, you’re changing your techniques, you’re changing your notions, you’re changing the whole way that you would usually approach the situation. It’s completely opposite of what she knew… Suddenly the predictability is gone!

This is the most challenging part though, especially when you’re in love, because it takes time. Not every woman is going to reach out within the first week, second week, third week, or fourth week. Once she notices that you’ve created an imbalance, she is going to pop back in because she wants to know why you’re acting differently. She might just text or call you and say, “Hey, you seem different!”, or she’s going to say, “Hey, how are you?” It creates mystery. Then that’s when you would show her positivity. When you show her, “I’m great! How are you doing?” Or “I’m doing really well,” respond with close-ended responses most of the time.

My girlfriend wants a break but now she’s contacting me! What do I do?

At the end of the day, if you’re really doing the work to heal whatever it is that you needed to heal in that relationship that created the need for space or a break, it’s because you needed to focus on you, your individuality, remember? I told you about this at the beginning of the blog. You need to focus on you. Once you focus on loving yourself, somebody else is going to want to be a part of the fulfilling life you’ve been creating for yourself.

She is going to see a drastic change in this where the control starts to return to you, because she is convinced that you are changing, and she is changing. And at the end of the day, even if she is not changing and she sees that you’re changing, it’s going to motivate her to change if she truly wants to be with you.

So you see how you get the sense of pride and control back in this whole phase. But this is the most important part! You must be able to challenge yourself and not give in. A woman will try everything in the world to get your attention back during this phase. It is up to you to not give in, stay with your sense of control, maintain close-ended responses, and a focus on you and what makes you happy.

If you’re having troubles at this time, know that this is something that I work on with my clients on a regular basis. It is really transformational, and I can guide you through this period from A to Z. I put a link here to private coaching session, and remember you are in control!

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

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163 Comments

  1. I am going through the same situation.
    My girl needed a break/space and i over reacted and beg to her and things get worse.
    Now i am not texting her and calling her. But I know she is busy in her own space and happy too. i am thinking that she doesn’t need me. It’s been 3-4 months. No positive vibe from her side.
    What if she never comes back?
    I will regret because i could have somehow emotionally convinced her and might had got her back in my life.
    How to overcome that feeling of regret?

    1. Hi Ahsan,
      Thanks for reading my article about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I would suggest that you stop going back to the “what if” of the situation. Seems like you are emotionally attached to this woman and the best thing you can do is become happy without her. This is the only way that you can attract her back and also be in control is to be happy with you. To overcome the feeling of regret is by letting go. I would suggest that you get my audio seminar as this can help. http://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar
      Best,
      Apollonia

      1. Hey I have a girl who works out of town and she told me that she feels I’ve been distant then tells me she still wants to talk I just don’t know if I should stop texting her or text her more or what I’m lost if you could reply at my email I’d be glad to book a session

    2. I was in a 5 yr one sided relationship with a girl. This february she told me that she likes me and she considered it a relationship but with no commitments. She asked me today that we should not talk for few days , to which she ment that she doesn’t want to be the first one to contact or text ..if I’ll call then she’s ok. Is she depressed lately?? something’s hindering her from texting me?? Or something i dont know!!

  2. Actually I have a girl in my life at my cllg. I like her & she knows that too & i used to chase her but she don’t respond to it sincerely but I doesn’t want to quit on her as we are good friends from last 6 months and she’s a girl i wanted to be with. She’s doing this bcz she’s got stuck in her last love life I guess & now I’m getting no idea to how to deal with this situation

    1. Hi Raj,
      Thanks for commenting and reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I just want to clarify so I understand. Are you saying she is still in love with the man before you? An ex?
      -Apollonia

  3. I have this lady that I love so much and I have made my intentions known to her but she claims to have a boyfriend which I later found out that she was not telling the truth.

    She blatantly told me not to trip for her but anytime we talk on the phone or she’s around me, she flirts with me. I don’t understand her. So I took her flirting signs as a green light, thinking that she wanted me to fight for her the more. But this past week, she traveled and told me not to bother about dating her for real. I was confused. So I decided that I wasn’t going to contact her, and I didn’t contact her for almost two weeks. But of recent, she contacted me to just say hello and I just had to respond. If she doesn’t want anything to do with me then why does she contact me. I still don’t know what to do. I love her so much but I am confused.

    1. Hello Michael,
      Thanks for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. Here is what I would suggest. To back away for a while and not show her attention. I can guarantee that you will see change. She will reach out but you have to be strong. It seems as though she is just using you for attention and you will continue to get your feelings hurt. So place yourself on a pedestal and she might come back to you. Do not let her treat you like this and if so just do not give her attention.
      Hope this helps!
      Best,
      Apollonia

  4. I broke my girlfriends trust by not being completely honest with her. I’ve seen her 4 times in two weeks. Today we talked in person for close to two hours. She pretty much said that we need a break from eachother because with everything built up from our 3 year relationship she cannot truly be happy with me right now. She also said as much as she doesn’t want me to, she thinks I need to see other people so I wipe away my curiosity of other women. I feel like she is doing this for our future togetherness because she does not want me to mess up again, because it would be over forever. For right now she said she wants to be alone, have fun with her friends and family and forget about the negativity towards me. I told her that I do not want to grow by seeing other women because I know who I want to be with and that I am not giving up on us. I said that I do need to grow and gain her trust back and I feel like I can while we have this space apart from eachother to come back as an improved person. I agreed that space is good because we are so young and we feel like we are meant to be together just time will tell us. It will also teach us a lot about a relationship. I also need to prove to her that she can trust me by sticking to my word of what I said I am going to do. I feel confident about us in the future for sure because we have such a strong connection. However what should I do and how do I go about this? How long do I go no contact? and really just how can I gain her trust back to prove that I only want her?

    1. Hello Jason,
      The way that you will gain her trust back is by not trying to take control. You have to shift your dynamics with yourself and her and be positive, free, and happy. Show her that you are working towards your own personal development and growth. Start doing something that you have been wanting to try for a while and use this time to explore new things so she can see that you are taking this seriously. Also, do this for you! In time, both of you need to mature and work on you. The way you get this relationship back is by doing exactly this and letting time pass so you can become that better person for yourself than her. I wrote another blog that I think can help you too. http://www.apolloniaponti.com/how-to-be-a-better-man/
      Best,
      Apollonia

    2. Thank you! This is not the first time I made her upset. Just with everything built up she is upset and can’t truly be happy with me right now because she can’t help but think about everything. I know time and space from eachother is going to heal that pain and wipe away the negative emotions towards me. I told her that I’m never giving up and this is the turning point for us to deepen. If this is what I have to do then this is what I have to do. Being patient and growing myself. But how much time is enough time and what is too little time? Her and I really have a special connection and our true is going to be tested right here, but I’m willing to create that attraction to pull her back in and work on myself to keep it together.

      1. Hi Jason,
        There is no specific time. The time will be when you change the behaviors that broke the relationship and she starts to see this. It can take a while so being attached to the outcome won’t help. Letting go and trusting the process and doing what’s best for you will. 🙂
        Best,
        Apollonia

        1. Hi, I am from India. We are in relation for past six months now, first 4 months were very special to us. We use to stay connected every minute over phone call or text message or video call. We use to spend all the talking to each other. We made many promises of marrying each other. We both are truly, deeply, madly in love with each other. I can’t stay anger for longer time at her even she does any mistake. We are happy and suddenly she got a job and moved to another city for her career. We used to talk over phone daily when ever she’s free. I used to wait for her call all the day. I miss her so badly, and don’t want to show the pain to her. But suddenly I began to demand her to spend some time with me, and tried to control her in every manner like, suggesting her not to make new friends, asking her to spend more time with me rather than her friends etc., I used make her cry everyday by scolding her if she didn’t took better care on her health. She is baring my anger for a past 2 months now and she decided she can’t take it anymore and she said she wants to break up with me. I didn’t expected this from her. I begged her not to do this, but she is not willing to listen to any of my word. I used to scold her when she doesn’t took better care of her health and she is leaving me because I am scolding her daily. She can’t able to see the care and love I have towards her, due to which I was scolding her. I love her very much and I know she loves me. I don’t want our relation to be broken. I want to change myself for her and told her the same. She is not ready to listen to my words. I want her back. She is very stubborn woman and can stay without me even if she has love. What should I do? I really want her back. I can’t live without her

          1. Hi Chandan, thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break. When we try to control someone, it’s because of fear and insecurity… fear of them leaving… it sounds like you put your validation and happiness on her and the relationship, and then got angry when things weren’t exactly how you want them. I really suggest respecting her with taking the break and really doing the work on yourself. I would look at codependency and falling back in love with yourself and also letting go of control and being okay with not knowing what will happen. In order for her to see the change… you have to do the work on yourself and let her go. We can’t TELL someone that we’re going to change… we have to SHOW them. And that takes time.

            Wishing you the best,
            Apollonia

      2. My girlfriend said she can’t continue with me again because we’ve been having misunderstanding, and I took the matter to her mother and elder sister. So she got angry and said she’s breaking up with me and I love her so much.. And pleaded with her she finally said yes she’s back with me but will not put any effort in the relationship that if she See’s any good effort and change she might give in what exactly would I do for her to look for me??. And she’s with my bag I use to go to work with.

  5. Hi Apollonia,

    My gf asked for a break and I wasn’t contacting her at all but I gave in and I told her after 5 days of no contact that I missed her and that I wasn’t expecting an answer from her, I just wanted to say that. She said that she missed me too, but she needs space and we shouldn’t be contacting each other during the break. I felt really dumb. Did I ruin everything? I want to say yes don’t worry and not contact her at all but I wonder if I already f*cked it up.

    Did I ruin my chances with her?

    1. Hi Carl,
      Thanks for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I know this time can be incredibly difficult but also very challenging on your emotions. That’s why it’s so important to follow some of these things in my blog. What I would strongly suggest is to give her space and not contact her for 30 days. This will help you reflect and your relationship. If you need guidance with this I encourage you to book a session with me as I’m here for you. http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
      Best,
      Apollonia

  6. Hey there my girl wanted to take break to build a friendship after feeling we jump in too early . I’m all for giving space if needed and no contact while working individual growth but she’s contacting me . Am I trippin ?

    1. Hi Cal,

      No, not at all. This is how women are. Sometimes she says one thing but the fear of losign you might be kicking in. I would just stay your distance and let her come to you a little more naturally as you want to respect her growth but also build attraction. Thanks for your comment on “my girlfriend wants to take a break”

      Best,
      Apollonia

  7. This has been very very helpful after my recent breakup. I think my situation might be a little different but still I will follow these steps cause its the only thing that makes sense. Thank you

    1. This blog is helping me get out of my normal routine and start to explore different hobbies and more importantly love myself again. Thank you apollonia

      1. Hi Jacob,
        Thanks for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break! I’m happy you enjoyed it. I am so happy to hear this and yes getting out of the normal routine is so important. I know you can do it and wishing you the best of luck!
        Best,
        Apollonia

      2. Hey There,

        Girlfriend and I were living together, we started having some issues, ex wife drama and we lost the connection. I said some hurtful things and she moved out. The first two weeks apart we were texting and FaceTime’ing. It’s been 4 weeks, and the last week I’ve only texted 4 times. However, she said she needed space to get over the past, to see if we can have a future; her exact words were, “there needs to be little communication if I’m gonna be able to give it my best go.” I was only supposed to text once a week, and I’ve done more than that. Did I ruin my chances? We are supposed to meet in 64 days to sit down and talk. Is it over or is there hope? What should I do? She also said she doesn’t know if her family will ever forgive me.

  8. Hello Apollonia
    I enjoy your videos, especially from a woman’s perspective. Currently, I’m dating a woman that’s been divorced twice. After a month, she partially moved in because I asked her to. Also, we started dating exclusively. Recently, she hinted toward not being in love with me, but she says she cares for me. I recently caught her lying to me and it affected my ability to trust her. She moved back to her place about a month ago saying the initial move was too soon. I agreed with her. She also said if we had dated longer, I wouldn’t have so many questions. Don’t know about that. We still see one another two to three times a week. It’s getting close to a year now. She does most of the calling and texting and she still wants to be exclusive. How can you want exclusivity but not be in love? She had asked me in the past, “why I want a woman with issues?” I’ve only told her once that I love her, but because of the lack of reciprocation, I stay away from telling her that and using terms of endearment. Also, I’ve been informed by her own son how she cheated on his father and other men in the past. I found that to be some what profound. It made me question their relationship because I wonder if he was telling me this to spite her or is he giving me warning or both. I give her plenty of space but the exposure by her son and the exclusivity tag (exclusivity means relationship to me) is confusing things for me. I’ve started to focus more on myself and even have considered dating other women. I’m trying to detach from her to protect my heart and mirror her actions. Sometimes, I believe she’s with me because of what I do for her so far as how I date her. When we see one another, she normally spends the weekend at my home. Do I just go with the flow or is this something I need to remove myself from?

    1. First of all this blog was excellent and so relatable to my life right now. Currently I have been dating my girlfriend for little over a year we have been doing a long distance relationship for the past 7 months as she is off to college. She asked me to take a break and that she would get back to me in a week. But basically she re assured me that she loved me and didn’t want to lose me but the distance is really hard for her. We have had this trouble before but we were able to see eachother and fix the issue. Unfortunately we don’t have the ability to see eachother. When she is away at school I feel she is a different person which I show support and don’t get jealous. The thing is we have never taken a break and she comes home for the summer next month. Confused why she wants a break but doesn’t want to break up and she says she loves me and wants to be with me. Her communication was changing and I noticed something was up. Should I stress it? Also we haven’t been texting or calling but she wants me to Snapchat her should
      I totally shut it off? When I Snapchat her she leaves me on read for most of the day even though she wants me to. Thanks so much!!

  9. hi, my girlfriend had a relationship of almost 4 years and i lived together for about a year now and we got along just fine. since the beggining of the relationship i found out a couple of times that she would flirt with some guys on instagram and get kinda close with them and share personal things but when they tried to make a move or tried to get her to meet with then she would tell them that she has a boyfriend. that happenned a few times and i found out, she every time told me that she only loved me and that she needs to work out on stop doing that, she told me once that she might need professional help but that she doesnt want to lose me. long story short .. it happened again with a guy at her gym.. shes 26 and the guy is 20 and very fit, shes also very fit and beautiful, im in shape but the guy just looks better. i noticed her talking more than usual on whatsapp and one night she left her phone unlocked and checked her phone just to find out what i feared, they kept talking all day and she also called him pretty names and all that… the even met out of the gym but i read the guy telling her that he wants to kiss her and she then replied that she cant do that to me. so after reading that i confronted her, told her that i was moving out, that i never wanted to see her again and all that crap we say when we are mad. then she told me that please dont leave her that im the love of her life, the best that had happened to her.. at that moment i said that i didnt want to talk but 2 hours later i came to the house and sat down with her and told her sorry for talking to her like that but i felt betrayed she then told me that she is really sorry but she feels that i dont deserve to be treated like that and that she thinks that the best thing to do is to take a break and see a couples therapist. i refused at first but then i saw that she was really serious about it so i got out of the house and took all my clothes… every day i talked to her and told her that i missed her very much and i also made the appointment with the therapist and a couple of days later i see that she wont talk to me and i asked her if she wants to be with the other guy she told me that please stop talking about negative things and if i want to keep talking with her i needed to talk about positive things. i see that she spents less time online and that she is focusing on getting a masters degree and do the things that she commented she wanted to do. i also think that she is not talking with the other guy cause the guy works at the gym and he got transfered recently and she as a member could go to any of that gym branches and she keeps going to the ones she is used to. she is not going out and gets home early just the usual hang out with her friends. sorry for the long post. what should i do?

  10. Hi,
    My gf of 13 months (never a fight … all our friends got intermixed and were sure we’d go the distance) just asked for a break saying she is not sure she can “get there with me” … yes, she is a big “Friends” and “The Bachelor” fan. We had a long talk afterwards where she told me I was the best relationship she has had, yet while she loved me deeply, wasn’t sure she was still in love with me. We had talked or texted every day of our relationship, even though she was out of town very frequently for work (domestic and internationally). The next day I was rear-ended in an auto accident, so there was some contact that day (I posted about it on FB and she called me that night) and the next (I called her with the post-hospital update), but nothing since. The first few days were tough, but each day, while I am still sad, gets easier. I am trying to move forward but feel I have lost my best friend. I know I am still raw (it feels like I lost an appendage), but I am also life-experienced enough to know she is what I want and that we are great for each other. What is the best way to give us a solid fighting chance?

  11. Me and my girlfriend of 6 months are rough right now. In the beginning we both were all over eachother and loved eachother for the first 3 months. I had a problem where I would think there’s a problem and make stuff up in my head that wasn’t there, but she wouldn’t break my hbit and let me off too easily with it. It got to the point where during the 4th month we stopped being romantic and started moving apart because she was getting annoyed of arguing all the time. I had made he mistake of making up problems when there wasn’t one, and that caused problems and made me upset. We took a break for a weekend and came back in swinging, but still weren’t very romantic. I didn’t feel like a priority to her yesterday and didn’t feel that she liked me like I felt about her. And I told her that and she said she’s confised and wanted to think but she thinks that’s what happened because our arguments pushed her feelings away. I still feel very strongly for her and am worried that we’re talking today and may break up. I’m thinking about talking stuff out and if she really wants to work this stuff out, and saying we should take a break hoping we’d comeback and reconnect like we first were now we have a Better understanding of eachother. What should I do and what do u think of it? And if you could respond as quick as possible that’d be nice, but if not I 100% understand

  12. Hey Apollonia!

    I read this article a few weeks back when having trouble with my girlfriend and I just wanted to drop by and say a big thank you for all of the advice. Your words connected the dots needed for me to realize what to do and how to proceed.

    1. My girlfriend that I have had for the last 2,5 years just announced that she wanted to break up, which we changed into a break. Here is the thing: she is currently depressed and is scared for future commitments. I’m prepared to give her the space she needs (am busy enough myself) but I worry about her mental health when I’m not there to support her, any tips?

  13. Hi Apollonia,

    My girl and I have been together for about 6 months. We didn’t make it official and what not but we hang out like a couple, holding hands etc… She just came back from an exchange program and when she got back she said that “We really need to talk”, as you’d imagine my heart sank when I saw those 4 words.
    Before the talk, I tried to hug her and set the tone right but from her reactions from my contact it was apparent I knew what was going to go down. She kept moving away a bit and everything it was quite sad when I saw that. Anyway during the talk she asked if I was happy in this relationship(I definitely was), because she felt like she wasn’t putting enough effort and that the problem is not me but her and for her to continue with us she has to get over her own issues. She keeps things to herself and I told her I’d be her outlet and I’m always here for her. She also raised that because she has to solve her own issues, she cant get comfortable with me and can’t reciprocate the same feelings I have for her and that she doesn’t want to hurt anyone because of her problems. Quote: “I don’t want to continue this pretending everything’s okay” “I don’t want to hurt you”

    Another thing she brought up is that she’s going to start interning and she didn’t want to interrupt my commitments and she doesn’t know if she can manage during her internship. I said I’ve always put her ahead of my other commitments and she is never in the way. (I always schedule ahead of time to accommodate for her) and that I’m willing to help her get through it.

    Nearing the end of the talk, (Beforehand, I tried to find out whats going on with her and everything but she wouldn’t say because she keeps it to herself) she told me she wants to be alone and think all of this through. So she said that she wants to take a break for a month. We set a date for our next meet up. Which the decision then will be final.

    right now I just want to give her time and space to sort all her own thoughts and issues out. I haven’t contacted her or anything, I saw her post on social media and i gave it a like to show that I’m still around for her.

    I’d like to know what you think of this situation and what would be the appropriate steps. I’m taking this time away from her to spend time with my friends and do my stuff and self-betterment

    1. Hi Ben,
      I’m glad to hear that you are taking this time to spend with friends and do things that help with your self development. In order for me to give you guidance, I need to know more about you and your relationship. I am also recommending two audio seminars that I have developed to assist with your self development. If interested in a private coaching session I will include the Link.
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar
      Best,
      Apollonia

    2. Hey Ben, I’m going through the exact same thing DURING THE SAME TIME. It’s almost as if it’s the same person. She left back to Mexico from the US at the end of March.

      I want to see how this goes for both of us.

      Contact me milowells1994@gmail.com if you want to talk man. This is crazy.

  14. Me & my fiancé have been together for 9 months. It’ll be one year in June. She’s a heartless person … very cold hearted & im very soft hearted. I love with everything in me & she has a really hard time showing her love. I’ve made it work thus far , then all of a sudden she tells me the other day that she needs a break. ????

    1. Hi Lanae,
      It can be confusing when a person you love gives you conflicting messages and leaves you wandering what happened. Now that she is asking for a break, It’s a good time for you to do some self development. Please, include some fun things. I have experience offering guidance to my clients on these issues. if you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your needs, here is my link: http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/. I wish you the best.
      Apollonia

  15. Apollonia
    First, God bless you for your timely advice. I’m in a relationship with a woman who is separated from an abusive husband. We met on a recent trip and I have dated her 2-3 times. Recently prior to her departure on another trip I became emotional and needy. I could not help it. I’m just coming off a painful divorce myself. I’ve applied your advice and backed off and I’m working to find myself so if she returns I can put my best foot forward. I found that I don’t know who I’m and thats a source of concern as well.
    thanks

    1. Hello,

      It sounds like you are ready to work on your self development, and if so I have some audio seminars tailored specifically for you. In addition, if you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your needs here is the link:
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/

      Overcome Attachments Neediness and Fears:
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar

      Master Your Confidence Audio Seminar: 
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence
      Best,
      Apollonia

      1. Hello, I’m Brown Roland from Cameroon. As I’m writing to you right now, it’s 2:am midnight in Cameroon. It happens this evening when she came back home from visiting her sister and out of the sudden, her modes changes. She told me that am confusing her,she needs some time and that I should refund her the keys of her house.i tried begging. But she can listen. Her Birthday is on the 15 of this month and we have been preparing on her to celebrate it . please give me an advise before the 15 of this month. Thanks

        1. Hi Brown. Thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break. I would need more information to help you through this. It sounds like something sparked this in her. I would encourage you to book a private coaching session so I can coach you through this. http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ In the meantime, I would give her space. Do not beg. Pull back and let her have space. Again, I would need more information for what I would suggest to do after that.
          Best,
          Apollonia

    2. Apollonia
      First, God bless you for your timely advice. I’m in a relationship with a woman last one month she did not talk to me properly. sometimes she starts saying if you have an important thing then call me, she does not want to talk anything about our relationship. she said that she wants to live alone for some days so I said ok you can take your time. after 20 days she called me I pick up her call she said how r u? I said that fine then after 2 minutes she said ok bye she does not talk about anything our relationship that makes me not sure where I’m standing in her life.
      tell me what should I do can I mirror her action or call her to talk clearly about our relationship or waited for her next call?
      I will wait for your response

      1. Hi Alex,

        Yes, It can be hard when you are in a relationship and she is asking for a break! I recommend that you take this time to work on you! This includes taking the time to do fun things. I have developed an audio video seminar on Mastering your confidence that I highly recommend. In addition, if you are interested in a private coaching session I will also include this link:
        http://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence
        http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/

        Best,
        Apollonia

  16. Hey, my girlfriend and I were talking during practice and she said “I feel like I need to better my grades before we get back together” then she said “Im sorry!” then we hugged.

    Im not sure if she is meaning for a breakup or just a break??

  17. I’ve been seperated for 5 years. Divorce hasn’t been final because of paperwork concerning the custody of the children. My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year and a half and it’s a serious relationship. She was aware of why my divorce wasnt final the whole time. We had an argument last week about it not being final and now she wants to take a break until things are worked out, but it feels like 1 minute, which was last Tuesday, everything was great. I stayed at her house, had great sex, and fell asleep and cuddled each other. The next day things went haywire with the argument, which wasnt a bad argument, and now she wants to take a break until things are finalized with no contact whatsoever. I dont understand because she is aware it could take a little longer. I guess I dont understand how 1 minute it’s ok and then the next its not. Anyway need some advice on what to do?

  18. This blog post is very useful for everyone else reading just because the information and knowledge which have contains everyone is very important. I like this post. This has been very very helpful after my current breakup. I assume my state of affairs is probably a little exceptional but nevertheless, I can observe those steps reason its the most effective issue that makes feel. Thanks

  19. Hi, I’m looking for some help. This girl that I’ve been dating for two weeks is really sensitive and private, she doesn’t like to open up to people, she’s having a hard time fitting me into her life, because she doesn’t know where to put me, because she is a really busy person and she has bad family issues. She begged me on a FaceTime call last night after we had a talk on Snapchat about me always starting convo, etc, and she said that she wants a break for the next 2 weeks because she is going to be extra busy with school, skating, and then she’s going on vacation. She even said on the FaceTime call that she really likes me. And I believe it because she’s showed it multiple times when we would hang out, and this is her first relationship as well, so she isn’t really sure on what to do and she’s probably nervous. At this point I just don’t want the relationship to end because I think we can both make it work for each other. All I’m worried about is her dumping me after this break like she was planning it, which I doubt will happen and will hopefully not happen. I just need some guidance on what to do, because even though we are on a break now, she still snaps me back whenever I send streaks, like she wants to talk to me, but she never says anything anymore, just random pics back and forth. She is perfect and I don’t want to let her go. Please help, I need it, thanks

    1. Hi Matt,
      Thank you for your comment and reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. It seems like she has a lot of emotional challenges she’s trying to deal with. It’s not going to work out if you push her or become overbearing. She has to see that you are focusing on you and not waiting around for her which will give her a sense that she can lose you and build the attraction and focus back to the relationship. Good luck and hope this helps!
      Apollonia

  20. Hey there, this has been very helpful and really relates to what I need to do for myself to win my relation ship back. Me and my partner have been together 3 and a half years .. it has been very bumpy … I am a insecure man and always turning her off with my jealously.. a week ago I went out, got drunk ..then kissed another girl… I felt so shit I then realised I was the one who was wrong the whole relationship. I then told her what I did. My partner is the only one for me… I love her so much and now she wants a break to figure out if she still wants this… And frankly I don’t blame her. I can tell she still loves me but she is really hurt with the whole thing. I know I want her for the rest of my life but I believe she could eventually tell herself she is happier without me… I then don’t know who else could compare to her.

    1. Hi Jacob,
      I’m so glad to hear that this blog has been helpful. Yes, it can be difficult when a partner is insecure, but what matters is that you are realizing that you have to make changes in order to grow personally and in this relationship. Take this time to do some self development. I have a audio video that I am recommending to assist you with your self growth. Here is the link:
      http://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar
      Best,
      Apollonia

  21. After taking a couple of years off from dating, in January 2019. I started to talk to a girl would eventually become my girlfriend. I’m so blessed to be gifted with an beautiful angel and on April 12 we made 2 months being together. This past weekend I attended her award to celebrate her achievements as a publisher. However as of yesterday she want for us to take a break because it was like we both went to fast in our relationship to where it’s like as if we didn’t enough time to really get to know each other. As much as it hurts but I have to respect her decision to put everything on hold until things settle down. And not going to lie early on in our relationship I was dwelling so much on past like I continued to doing bad habits of always looking at her phone as if I didn’t trust her or not taking the time to slow things down if we were going to fast. Now that I think about it, I was being stupid just so I can avoid having to go through the same mistakes after being through so many relationships where I’ve had my heart broken after find out your girl was talking to another guy or sleeping with your best friend. She’s the longest relationship that I’ve been in and it’s the most rewarding being with her because we both experienced bumps and bruises throughout life. Nobody has taken care and loved me so much than her. Meeting each other was the best thing that happened to us. Now that I’ve spent some time to really understand why she wanted to take a break because she’s focused on doing good on her final to graduate from college in a few weeks as the stress has worn her out. After talking to my dad about what happened, he told me that he’s glad that we talked about it instead of burning down the bridge. Perhaps us taking a break would be the best thing for us as a constructive step in our relationship to make stronger once everything settles down. He truly believes that everything would work out and by time it’s her graduation which is 3 weeks away. That we can start talking again, taking the lessons that we’ve learned and to put whatever happened behind us and having a fresh start to continue where we left off in our relationship but do things differently this time as we slowly work things out to make everything better again. I asked her if should still attend her graduating regarding us taking a break, she told it would be nice if still go because it’ll show the appreciation for how much I love her dearly as well as valuing the things we’ve done each other. Hoping that attending her graduation to celebrate her accomplishment that we slowly rekindle that spark we had before. She brought light back into my world before it went black and she showed how good falling in love was, and I don’t want the things we did together to become a distant memory of the past. I know during our break that I should focusing on myself but no matter what I do to occupy myself. She’s constantly on my mind whether it’s wondering how’s she’s doing or reflecting on the memories we had together. I truly believe we still can be together once everything settles down for a bit and learning from my mistakes as well as how we could do better this time. Of course it would take time for us do work things out but I’m not giving up on us. I respect her decision to put us on hold for the time being, allowing us to focus on our priorities. In hopes she’s willing to take the risk of getting back together again for a second chance, I promise to show her how much I’ve changed and adapting to the obstacles of life. Being wiser and more mature as an adultm including having the patience of taking things slowly and one step at a time. To give her a reason everyday, to keep me in her life as we spending to fully know each other, how we can do things differently, and being able to see where this journey takes us and hope for a better story so we can spend our future creating new memories again.

    1. Hello,

      I have been with my finacee for 9 months and I really have a bad attitude problem and Its tearing us apart and she told me she wanted to take a break..so what do i need to do try to get her back

  22. My girlfriend and I are currently taking some time apart but still messaging a little. We decided to take time apart because she has some emotions in her mind relating to her ex and she doesn’t understand why. She isn’t sure if she’s missing him or just needs the closure. We met and spoke about the situation and I was very calm and understanding about it and told her that I have her back through this whole situation. She said we’re not breaking up and still going to Paris together at the end of the month but we need time apart to sort her mind out.
    I feel confident that we can work through this and stay together. However, I’m unsure as to what I should do now and what could happen with us.

    1. Hi Liam. Thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break. I would need to know more information to better give advice, however, I would continue to stay confident. Let her come to you and don’t push. Continuing to be stable and remind yourself that you offer a lot to the relationship and you do not have to prove anything. If you need a private coaching session, you can book here: http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      Enjoy Paris!
      Best,
      Apollonia

  23. If you re not being confident when you re interacting with her, then she s not going to be able to respect you and feel attracted to you.

  24. Hey apollonia, great blog here… so I have been dating this girl for 6yrs but mostly we have been in different countries but we still find a way to meet up. I recently moved to Germany and she has been here twice to see me, she stays in the UK, I have tried getting a UK visa twice but was rejected and she knows this, earlier this year she says she needs a break to think if our relationship would work and if we are compatible of which I refused at first but accepted later. she didnt say for how long this break would be and the following weeks I would try not to contact her but I couldn’t take it anymore and started calling and texting begging and telling asking her when this woukd end ..she keeps saying “i dont know”. she does call me every weekend though. long story short my birthday is on the 31st of October and she is coming to see me which I had to tell her to come and let’s discuss about us. please what do I do in this case because I am afraid she is going to end things with me.

    1. Hi Frank, thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to take a break. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. Long distance between countries is difficult.
      Begging someone can have them running in the opposite direction. I would really suggest focusing on yourself and building the confidence in yourself, focusing on fulfilling your life right now. I would suggest booking a private coaching session so I can help with this. http://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      Best,
      Apollonia

  25. I go true all these witn my woman i try so hard to get things right but am trying to practisr to give her space what if she gets attention else where

    1. Hi Young,
      I know this process is difficult but it’s important to remember to focus on the positive things and create a more abundant mindset. Also, if she was to move on and focus on other things it shows that she was not as serious about the relationship and that can work in your advantage long term.It also depends on the reason for the breakup. I would encourage you to book a session so we can determine how to help you moving forward. Thanks for reading my blog about “my girlfriend wants to take a break”
      Best,
      Apollonia

  26. We been on a long distance relationship for about a year. This time we were together, was great until last day. Out of the blue she asked some time to rebuild herself. I know she’s going throw a hard moment at personal level, but I gave her the space. I delete the messages, as I’ve noticed she checks if I’m on line, ETC. Space but she texts me every day ever since.
    I think my mistake was to be always available.
    But also want to be there to be helpful.
    Not sure disappear of the map would be a good idea.

    1. Hi Ricardo, thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break. If she is initiating contact then keep it light and be there for her. Take out your own emotions and needing her to validate where things are. I would not completely disappear. Just focus on yourself and your life but you can also be a “rock” for her, too. Continue to have confidence.
      Best,
      Apollonia

  27. Hey, so I recently broke up with my girlfriend that I had a 2 year relationship with and the reason he is because things got toxic. I let my past get the better of my and I kept it from her. I screwed up a lot in the relationship. But for the past couple days I realized that my purpose and I think that’s to listen. She said she wants to find herself again and her value and everything. And I’m not sure how to approach this. Or what to do. Should I just give her, her space and keep improving myself? I’m going to be hoenst I have been texting her about her day and stuff, also doing things to show how positive I am. But not directly. I just need an Idea for what I need to do rather then the things I have in my head.

  28. Hey Apollonia, I’m writing you from the Netherlands. I have a relationship for 4 years and few days ago she came asking for a break at first I didn’t understand where she wanted to go with this as I was begging her to stay with me and work it out day after that I started to work on myself and give her time then I saw she is writing another dude even before the break. I called him and he responded with “I’m sorry dude you won’t hear from me again” and told me they where friend long before we had a relationship and he just wanted to talk to her. Now I’m confused one side of me wants to know the truth before starting this hard period of letting her have this break I need a peace of mind too. I asked her if she wanted to block him she responded Yes and didn’t want to do it later in as she said “I choose whom I talk to or block not you.” I need your help pls

  29. Am a lady, am in a confused state right now because my boyfriend all of a sudden stopped calling and texting. But a day came by i gave him a call though he didnot return the call but we had a chat, after which he didnot call or text again. Though he told me that he is going to be busy this month but i dont deem it fit for him to ghost on me.

  30. Think my situation is a bit outside the box. My gf did just ask for a break. But she also said she wants to stay at my house for a few days and then go back to hers. I actually responded like you recommended by sheer luck. I told her i understand and only want her to find herself again. In many more words than that of course, but her response was she said she was shocked that i didn’t blow up. All this during this last 2 weeks while im away on business. Now she says how mad she is. Mad? Because i didn’t know yet about her complete intentions and had been still expressing how much i miss her etc through emails that were on back log in a router and she expressed she deleted some due to similar issues, she didn’twant to read them. Satellite link problems due to my remote location. Basically we both realized we were both not getting the messages in order or at all. And then she proceeds to tell me that sex is also dead and my fault. And then finishes this last email with this cut n pasted comment from her,
    I’m planning on getting things set up so I can be at home and back n forth. But it’s obvious not ready. What I don’t want to do if fight, Argue. Or have feelings of obligation. . What that means I’m not sure other than sex… I’m sorry to say but I want it to be my call right now. I’m not going to do it just to do it. If we feel close and want to we’ll by all.means.. but .. if u don’t use it u loose it.. well I lost it. And not by choice.
    Im so very confused. Am i now goin to be judged or impugned sexually? If that makes any sense? Does this mean if i refute her intimate initiations because maybe i may or may not fulfill her or our emotional needs during sex, that she will see this as the paramount rejection reason to do what she is already doing , moving away from me, but in permanency? This is one sided, she is a beautiful woman that i ignored on levels beyond levels because I simply cant change my core in ways tjat nurture her. I regret the short sidedness of this diatribe. I am fully aware that i am as much or more at fault for this. We have been together for almost 7 years now, and i am away at times but its only a few times a year, 2-3. I get what your saying, your right about space being respected. But how can her and i still being intimate help? Should i respect her wishes and if shes in the mood, be intimate and quantifiable with her? Not reading into things…but her very own words in the quote i posted…she states “so i can be home, back n forth” does this mean her house is now home? Is she actually going to admonish and control me through the means of intimacy now and why?

    1. Hi Tucker, thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take A Break. It sounds like she’s trying to control things. I would make sure you know your boundaries and set them. You might have messed up in areas but that doesn’t give her permission to use you or lash out in anger. Right now, she’s hurt, and she’s trying to control, lash out, act out towards you to make herself feel better, because really… she’s just hurting and angry. I would say that you guys need space and to actually take it. Tell her that you both need time to re think and for her to heal and both of you guys to work on yourself so that you can come back and have a healthy conversation.
      I would really suggest booking a private coaching session. There’s more information here: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      Best,
      Apollonia

      1. Hey Apolonia, my girlfriend demanded a two – month break, she says she doesn’t feel the same way anymore, I really feel hurt, on the verge of losing myself, I didn’t do anything wrong, I gave it all I got, why would she be so ungrateful? help please soon.

  31. So my girlfriend told me she wanted a break and then sleped with her ex that she never got to with because she wasnt of age for it to be legal she told me about it and I forgave her for it cause we were on a break but even after she told me she didnt regret it cause he gave it to her lik she wanted it and told me she want me and that she sees a future with me but still wants space but shes staying where with him cause the people he lives with is like family to her and she says they help her I need advice bad

  32. My girlfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and we’ve recently been arguing more regarding the same topic. She told me that she needed a break which I begged her that we didn’t need it, that we can communicate and fix things right away. She believed a break was necessary and told me that if I loved her, that I would give her the space and time. Today is the second day of the break and I’m worried that I will lose her. She’s currently in pharmacy school and has exams this week and next week. So I can understand that she would like to take a break and focus on her studies, but like I stated before… I’m afraid that she will forget me. I truly love her and I know that I’ve messed up in the past but it didn’t involve cheating nor lieing. It was because she hasn’t met my group of friends that live in another town from where we both go to school. I want to text her so bad and let her know that I’m sorry and I want to make this work but I also don’t want to add stress during her exams… Family and friends say to keep my head up and hope for the best, because if she truly loves me then she will come back to me. I know I can treat her so much better and I will… I would just like that one chance to prove to her that I’ve learned from my mistakes and we can both be happy like we were. Please advised on what I should do, should I wait until her two week exams are over to contact her? Should I wait for her to contact me? I can focus on myself but I want to know that at the end of the break we can both come together and fix things. She just told me that she wanted a break and wanted me out of the apartment.
    Thanks for reading,

  33. Hi!

    Me and my girlfriend/ex have been together for a bit over a year. Ever since the start there have always been some uncertainty and I believe a lack off knowledge about relationships. This is personally my second relationship, first really serious. I struggle with worrying and overthinking and having a hard time trusting people. I tend to overthink and obsess over a lot of things. This is her second serious relationship and she struggles with depression and anxiety from time to time.

    In the beginning of our relationship I wasn’t really sure of what I was feeling. I had a crush on her and she asked me out and revealed she had a crush on me too. We got to know each other better and I really liked her. After a while we had “the talk” and both wanted to be in this relationship. The lack of knowledge about relationships resulted in us/me not talking about boundaries, life goals, and other serious topics. I have always had a hard time telling her that I loved her. I tend to overthink it and doubt my feelings. I do admit that I have pretty low self-esteem and easily get jealous and sometimes even a bit controlling, which I try my best not to be. We’ve had really amazing times together and I believe that I’ve loved her but all these thoughts/issues have been getting in the way.

    The last months (3-4) of our relationship have from time to time caused more sadness and anxiety than anything. Our communication haven’t been the best and she tends to shut off completely when something serious comes up, which I can understand. All this anxiety and different issues/insecurities/etc. have led to disconnection and created a big sad mess.

    After both of us trying to talk about things but not really knowing how to act, as well as me still having this uncertainty, she decided it might be best for both of us to go different ways.

    She told me about how me not being able to tell her “I love you” have destroyed her many times. She told me how she loved me more than anyone else and that she never wanted this. She also told me this obviously won’t work out if I don’t feel the same way/love her. She felt like she was wasting her time on this. I completely understand why she felt like that and did what she did. Even though I was completely heartbroken.

    The same night she texted me long messages begging me to take her back. I obviously wanted to but knew something had to change for this relationship to work out and prevent the same thing from happening again.

    Should I have ignored her and done the no-contact rule in this situation? I told her I needed time to think this through and be away from her, and that I was broken. She kept on messaging me from time to time worrying she had lost me for good.

    The next day I texted her back, obviously still feeling like crap, telling her how I’ve loved her this whole time (which I still believe) and how there had to be some changes if this was going to work out properly. We decided to meet up in person a couple of days later.

    In the end we both really wanted to make this work out. We talked about how it might take some time and a lot of tough decisions. I told her how we should take this slow and let it take some time. We decided we wouldn’t meet anyone else under this period and to be completely honest with each other.

    I felt like we were on the same page but still moved way too quickly. I feel like history is going to repeat itself if we continue like this. It has been 8 days since we broke up and maybe we need more time apart.

    We’ve talked openly about what happened and different ways to work this through. I told her we might need more time apart but only because I want this would work out. Not because I wanted something else.

    She’s thinking about taking a break now and maybe even seeing someone else instead. I’m scared she will go out and get wasted and meet a guy we’ve talked about before. She has repeatedly told me they’re just friends but he’s becoming more flirty and she isn’t doing anything about it, if anything the opposite.

    How should I go about this? Have I ruined it for good? Should I tell her we should have a break and that I need space? If so, what rules should we have? Is it ok to set boundaries which indicates we can’t meet anyone else? Even though we technically aren’t in a relationship anymore? I’m really lost in my thoughts right now and need some direction.

    Sorry for this long and messy text. I probably missed something important but hope you understand my thoughts.

    Thanks!

    1. Hi Johan. Thank you for taking the time to read My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break. It sounds like you still have a lot of healing to do. When we put our emotions on someone else and make them responsible for how we feel and our happiness… that’s too much pressure to put on someone and it is not their responsibility.
      Your happiness is your responsibility. How you feel about yourself is your responsibility. I would really recommend taking some more time, typically taking a break can be about 30 days, and really digging in and doing the work on yourself. Falling in love with yourself. Letting go of the past. Because it sounds like you’re getting triggered from the past and putting it on her.
      I would really encourage you to book a private coaching session and look into interdependent relationships, codependency, and an abundant mindset (instead of a lack or scarcity mindset). Those are the areas I think would be really helpful to start looking into. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      Wishing you the absolute best,
      Apollonia

  34. Hii!
    my name is kohei from japan.
    I like girl is model and student at university. recently, she said “need somespace. and don’t force text. why don’t you stop texting until I reply?”

    we met at paris fashion week. after that, I contacted with her. at first, we texted all of days.
    and she likes me casually, she said.
    in the case. when she is busy for work and study,
    I wouldn’t text her. but we texted me so much. after that, suddenly, she is cold and said “hey, I need space.”but sometimes, she pussed “like” my story on instagram. and she always see my story on instagram, soon. at christmas, I greeting mail for her, after that, she texted for me friendly.
    after that, I texted her about her presents.
    then, she said “Dont force a conversation like that…why dont you stop texting until i reply?”

    so I read your articles. and I would like to understand her feelings.

    but I don’t understand about her yet
    because “need space”means relationship will be ended.

    I want to fix with her .and I worry about our relationship? .

    Sorry for this long and messy text. I probably missed something important but hope you understand my thoughts.

  35. Hi apollonia
    Actually the thing is that what i am suffering from is my girlfriend trusts her friend more than me and she thinks they thinks the best for her and its been a month she told me that she need time and space and i have been chasing her like 4 times after a week and its been about a month she’s still saying she need time and space what should i do now m focusing on myself but it still remind me of her sometimes when i saw a movie scene or anything like that…. And she contacts me after 2 days of no contact what shoul i reply to her or not and we are in same college so what should i do….

    1. Hi Abhi, thank you for taking the time to read my girlfriend wants to take a break. I would need to know more about the situation. But I would just message her back and keep it light hearted and friendly. Nonchalant. And I would really encourage you to take this time to focus back on yourself. Your happiness comes from inside of you, not from anyone else. Focus on your life and what you want out of it. Your hobbies, spend time with friends. Really do the work on yourself and make sure that your life isn’t just centered and focused around her.
      Its great that shes reaching out to you. Keep it light. But don’t engage otherwise. Pull back and actually give her the space but text her back when she messages you. Just start focusing on what you need to focus on for your own happiness. Build your confidence and your love for yourself… that’s attractive to women.
      If you need more help I would suggest booking a private coaching session.
      best,
      Apollonia

  36. Hi Apollonia,
    Me and my girlfriend were in a relationship for last 1 year and recently she said she doesn’t love me anymore hence
    It will be better for both of us to stay separate. Now i have few things to share with you. We both live in different cities and twice a month we used to meet. I work where she’s doing phd and this is a last year for her. She’s a dynamic student and always been a great at studies. We used to discuss so many things together like what we will do in future, about marriage and getting settled. Sometimes she used to get freak out hearing about marriage and stuff but later on she used to understand it. We spent a lovely time together and went to travel 5-6 countries together. In our daily routine we used to video call chat over text and call each other 3-4 times a day. Before this relationship i was passionate about travelling and mountaineering but once she started dating me i kind of gave my all attention to her. She used to tell me that one thing she liked about me is my passion. I know in last one year i kind of forget about my passion as all the time i used to think about her because we only used to meet twice a month. In December we met and we discussed about my insecurities as i used to get worried sometimes because she never used to talk about marriage and stuff But in December we sorted out everything and in the third week she left for Australia to meet her brother as she was meeting him after 2 years. Everything was going fine we were not able to talk much which i understood she used to share pictures daily. Before last day when she was coming back i sensed she is not behaving normal so i asked her what is the matter, she said she is worried about future and that’s where i got really tensed i asked her tell me what happened but she said once she’s back she will talk to me. When she came back she said she wants to talk to me and she’s stressed i understood what she’s gonna talk about as there were no emotions at all. Friday that week i went to meet her she saw me and didn’t smile even once earlier when she used to meet me she used to hug me tightly but now everything was different and it was hurting me a lot. We sat in front of each other and then she told me she doesn’t want this relationship because she doesn’t love me anymore. She said i am her stress and i give her stress hence she thinks it’s not a healthy relationship. We both cried sitting next to each other. She’s emotionally very strong where i am very emotional. I told her we can work it out and i will do whatever is required despite my several request she didn’t change her mind. In the end she said she needs space and atleast need 2-3 weeks time to think but she also told me that doesn’t mean she will come back to me. Since then i am not feeling good, i cried several times as everything reminds me of her. I came back home but her thoughts are not stopping. Sometimes i think ”is this not bothering her? ” doesn’t she feel the same way and how is this possible that a girl who was telling me that she was missing me few days back now don’t love me anymore? I am very much hurt and don’t know how will i get over it. Please help me Apollonia understanding is she going to come back or not. I thought to text her but everyone told me not to text her and call her but i am thinking if i don’t text and call her, will this not pull her apart from me? Is she going to contact me or not?. Today is the day we met for the first time and i feel so helpless. I wanna contact her and send her that picture when we met first but everyone is telling me not to do that. What’s left now despite of loving and caring for so much she left me, this is creating thoughts in my mind that what i am going to do now, i am useless, what i will do in future now and what if she will date someone else all these bad thoughts are coming in my mind now. Please please help me. I am going into depression day by day.
    Apologize for long text
    Thanks,
    Kumar

  37. Hi Apollonian,
    My gf says she’s grown to love me but doesn’t want to be too attached to me because it will hurt her greatly. I told her that I will be traveling abroad for greener pastures… but she says she want to end us and kill the feelings she has for me. I have bn begging her to stay…should I stop begging?. What should I do?

  38. Thank you for the amazing blog!
    My girlfriend of 2.5 years suddenly wanted a break. I live in another city for studying while she is back at home. Her parents are fighting all the time and put the stress on her. She also recently started a new school and found some new friends.
    She said she felt a change and that she is afraid she might fall out in love with me.
    We had no contact for more or less 2 weeks (she texted twice and I’ve replied only briefly).
    We have been a great couple and having a lot of fun. She is a really enclosed person but opened for me and shared all her thoughts.
    We always were like best friends and had a deep connection.
    I am afraid of losing her but don’t want to beg or something similar. What can I do to show her that the grass is not always greener on the other side?

    1. Hi Hadrian,
      Thanks for your comment. You have to show her that you are willing to disconnect from this outcome. You have to show her, believe and act like you are the best man out there for her but not in a way of delivering it with emotions but actions in your life. Go out there, have fun with friend, do things you’ve been wanting to do. Show her that you are living your best life!
      -Apollonia

  39. Hi Apollonia,
    Thanks for your blog
    Me and my girlfriend were in a relationship for last 1 year and recently she said she doesn’t love me anymore hence
    It will be better for both of us to stay separate. Now i have few things to share with you. We both live in different cities and twice a month we used to meet. I work where she’s doing phd and this is a last year for her. She’s a dynamic student and always been a great at studies. We used to discuss so many things together like what we will do in future, about marriage and getting settled. Sometimes she used to get freak out hearing about marriage and stuff but later on she used to understand it. We spent a lovely time together and went to travel 5-6 countries together. In our daily routine we used to video call chat over text and call each other 3-4 times a day. Before this relationship i was passionate about travelling and mountaineering but once she started dating me i kind of gave my all attention to her. She used to tell me that one thing she liked about me is my passion. I know in last one year i kind of forget about my passion as all the time i used to think about her because we only used to meet twice a month. In December we met and we discussed about my insecurities as i used to get worried sometimes because she never used to talk about marriage and stuff But in December we sorted out everything and in the third week she left for Australia to meet her brother as she was meeting him after 2 years. Everything was going fine we were not able to talk much which i understood she used to share pictures daily. Before last day when she was coming back i sensed she is not behaving normal so i asked her what is the matter, she said she is worried about future and that’s where i got really tensed i asked her tell me what happened but she said once she’s back she will talk to me. When she came back she said she wants to talk to me and she’s stressed i understood what she’s gonna talk about as there were no emotions at all. Friday that week i went to meet her she saw me and didn’t smile even once earlier when she used to meet me she used to hug me tightly but now everything was different and it was hurting me a lot. We sat in front of each other and then she told me she doesn’t want this relationship because she doesn’t love me anymore. She said i am her stress and i give her stress hence she thinks it’s not a healthy relationship. We both cried sitting next to each other. She’s emotionally very strong where i am very emotional. I told her we can work it out and i will do whatever is required despite my several request she didn’t change her mind. In the end she said she needs space and atleast need 2-3 weeks time to think but she also told me that doesn’t mean she will come back to me. Since then i am not feeling good, i cried several times as everything reminds me of her. I came back home but her thoughts are not stopping. Sometimes i think ”is this not bothering her? ” doesn’t she feel the same way and how is this possible that a girl who was telling me that she was missing me few days back now don’t love me anymore? I am very much hurt and don’t know how will i get over it. Please help me Apollonia understanding is she going to come back or not. I thought to text her but everyone told me not to text her and call her but i am thinking if i don’t text and call her, will this not pull her apart from me? Is she going to contact me or not?. Today is the day we met for the first time and i feel so helpless. I wanna contact her and send her that picture when we met first but everyone is telling me not to do that. What’s left now despite of loving and caring for so much she left me, this is creating thoughts in my mind that what i am going to do now, i am useless, what i will do in future now and what if she will date someone else all these bad thoughts are coming in my mind now. Please please help me. I am going into depression day by day.
    Apologies for long text
    Thanks,
    Kumar

  40. I Get That My Girlfriend Needs Space But We Go To School Together & sit next to each in class What If I See her what should I do should I approach her should I talk to her??

  41. Hi apollonia
    My girl friend told me that she need a break in the relationship am really disturbed and i ave asked her the reason why she need a break in the relationship, she said she need time to put things inorder wouldn’t minding the fact that the opinion she is taken will hurt me.so i ave decided to give her the space she needed by not calling or texting her, i hope i took the right decision?

  42. What you will do is to treat her like a mere class mate and no longer ur girl friend.i know is hard but u gat to, sometimes change ur possition

  43. Thanks very I am going through same but I’ve not called or texted her for now. I am just being myself.

    Thank you very much

    1. Hi Isaac. Thanks for stopping by and reading my girlfriend wants to take a break. Glad you’re getting something from this! Focus on yourself and what makes you feel fulfilled and happy.

      Best,
      Apollonia

  44. Hi Apollonia,

    Thanks for your article. It’s a lot to think about.
    My girlfriend for about the last 2 years has said she wants some space and a break from me. We spoke on the phone yesterday when I spilled my heart out. She said she’s angry with my and how we have argued over our relationship, but I think she’s overreacting and does love me. She says she wants to know if she’s ok to be alone so wants a break but doesn’t want to break up yet. I said I’ll try and give her the space she needs and asked her to come back to me in a week.
    I want to message her with all the things I’m feeling and all the things I regret doing and saying and how I would change / have changed. I think these are a lot of things that she might be worrying about and got us to this stage and I feel like I want her to know that I lost perspective and nothing is as important as her. I’ve said it a bit before on the phone though. Do you think I shouldn’t?
    Thank you

  45. Hi apollonia, actually the thing is i did everything you told in this article,she came to me crying and said sorry and all the stuff.. But the thing is we are in same college and she told me that we’ll not meet in college and carry on this relationship necause she needs time to heal … I dont know what to do and still she talks to every guy in college except me.

    1. Hey Abhi. Thanks for commenting on my girlfriend wants to take a break. I would suggest pulling back and focusing on yourself. She’s not ready for a relationship and if she’s getting attention from every other guy, it usually indicates that she doesn’t fully love herself or she just wants to be single.
      It’s not about “if I do x,y,z… she’ll fall for me.” That’s not how it works. If someone isn’t ready for a relationship or doesn’t want to be in one… we can’t convince them otherwise.
      Focus on making your life the way that YOU want it and finding your happiness and fulfillment.
      Wishing you the best 🙂
      Apollonia

  46. Hi apollonia, i am suffering from the same thing she did wrong to me as she posted a photo on social media with his best friend(guy) with the caption ‘my perfect one’, i told her like wont tollerate these kind of things we have huge fight and all her friends were involved in this fight and so on then i apologized and she said she needs break… I did everything your i learnt from your videos then she came to crying and said i want this relationship back.. But she told me like she wont tell her friends that we are in relationship for now.. I don’t know what’s going on…

  47. My girl friend did this similar thing to she said she wants a break and for one month now I saw her with another guy

  48. Hey Apollonia I meet this girl on an app and we started talking to each other and she began to likes me and so now a couple of weeks ago when my phone has died out she kept calling me constantly and so I went to call her back but she kepts hanging up and up so I’m all hooked up now and I don’t know If she still likes me or not she had unfriend me on Facebook as well but then I still sees her on other social media sites so now she says she doesn’t want to break up with me but we loss keeping contact with each other what should I do? Should I wait until she calls me or what? Because I really do like her and I know that she still likes me so is anything I can do ? Thanks ,Amos Ross.

    1. Hi Amos, thank you for taking the time to read my girlfriend wants to take a break. So it sounds like you guys are going fast but you haven’t actually met up that many times. I would suggest slowing down and seeing if she contacts you and actually taking the time to get to know each other. Just slow it down and take her out on a date once a week and get to know her. You have to see if she’s even emotionally available and if you guys match values and what you’re looking for in life.
      Best,
      Apollonia

  49. I am currently going through a similar situation but has more background in context. The thing is that my girlfriend suffers from depression and she was honest since the beginning of our relationship. I’ve been supportive and caring and she was great. We’ve been together for 5 months now (fresh relationship). But she started on a new medication two weeks ago and she has been on a roller coaster of emotions. Then when she was assimilating the new medication she would be more stable but started being grumpy at me and I thought I was triggering this mood on her. I know I shouldn’t take this personal because people with depression do this not in purpose but can’t help it, but I was trying to understand her and support her. Anyway there was this time where after watching movies with her and having a great day she cries and I just hug her until she calms down and then we talked.
    She told me that she’s sorry for the way she’s treating me, that she thinks it is the medication but it is odd because the medication she’s taking now actually helps her depression but she feels grumpy at me only and she doesn’t know why. She doesn’t want to hurt me and I deserve someone better. Then she said that she needed some space to work on herself and clear her mind because she feels she can’t give her all in our relationship. I told her let’s not make a decision tonight because our heads are hot and we can’t think clearly. Let’s talk tomorrow. And after that I stayed at her home for a little while and she kissed me and hugged me. Then I left.
    Next day we talked and we decided to take a break and we set some boundaries:
    1. We’re on a break for a month, with no physical contact for a week. After the week she will see if she wants to see me once, twice or more times a week. Also after the month we will talk again and we will discuss whether she needs more time, wants to get back together or we break up.
    2. Her goal is to work on herself and love herself more. My goal is to test my love for her and my independence and our final outcome is to get back together in a strong relationship.
    3. We are not seeing other people as in dates or romantic relationships or casual encounters, we are still loyal to each other.
    Well, we discussed that and we started this break last Saturday. I’ve been doing everything of what we agreed but today Monday I couldn’t take it anymore and I just texted her “I’m missing you <3" and she replied "Aw, hope you're doing well <3 , Can we speak this Friday after your work?" and I replied "Sure!".
    I think I made a mistake now and I am feeling so anxious right now and I'm counting the days, hours, minutes, seconds for this Friday to come. Also I'm kind of expecting the worst because she told me before that her last relationship before going out with me was two months ago before meeting me, so I think she's also having second thoughts in our relationship because she's still in love with her ex and she was using me to heal but she realized she couldn't. I don't know what to do. I'm going crazy.
    How do you see my situation? Do you think I should expect the worst and begin to prepare myself for this Friday so the impact is not that painful?
    Thanks,
    Elicer

    1. Dear Apollonia,

      I’m in a long distance relationship with a wonderful girl whom has had some mood swings that began to happen more frequently as time went by (we couldn’t meet each other for over a year). We began to have little fights over small stuff that she didn’t mind while we were phisically together. (example: not paying attention some messages on online socials)
      Needless to say, I got anxious and burdened her by being overly attached too.
      Now, after a little talk she told me she wanted a break because she didn’t feel to love me at the moment and that she was confused. She said that unlike her previous boyfriend, she still wants to give our relationship a chance. Luckily i managed to keep a positive reaction while we were discussing this in call. But right after ending the online call, I began to feel anxious again and doubted this will end up well. Thankfully I found this site with your brief explanation about “taking a break”, which helped calm myself. I understood i must work on improving my confidence and becoming more independant.
      While i might not be able to afford buying your guides for now now (i’m saving up to take a trip to go see her in Japan) I’d like to thank you, Apollonia, on behalf of all the people going through this relationship phase and that are reading this site 🙂

  50. Recently I found out the girl I have been dating for 2 years now said to me that she was losing feelings for me and wanted to work on making herself happy, before she makes me happy in our relationship. She has a lot of stuff going on in her life as well and I am wondering if that could be the affect? I am just kinda stuck at this point because it was unexpected and not sure what to do. I would appreciate any advice or help. thank you, Cam

  51. Hi Apollonia, i have been talking to a girl for 2 months I like her a lot I’m 36 she is 40 . she says we are friends but more then friends to me and when someone asks she says the same thing to them about me . We have sex a lot we have a very good sexual and mental connection and get along very well. at times she even tells me that it’s bad timing that if it was a different time we would be together or there’s things that she wants to say to me or do for me but she holds back that it’s not the right time yet there are other hints at different times that she thinks about having the relationship with me and even acts like we are in one but then she pulls back when she feels like we are getting too close . She tells me that she does not want a relationship for a long time . she was married for 12 years got Divorced and got into another relationship for a year they broke up , then got into a relationship for 4 years . We enjoy each other‘s company laugh have a good time and she even expressed we’ve become best friends like we both felt needed to happen before moving to the next step . I’ve met her friends her friends tell her this is the type of guy that you should be with, she gets mad at them because she says she does not want to rush into another relationship. I’ve told her I agree that we need to take it slow and get to know each other better that neither one of us needs to rush into a relationship right now that I want it to be organic for it to just happen not force the relationship. The relationships she’s been in were all very controlling and even the last one was very abusive , she has gone back to that guy a few times in the past after break ups it is now been three months since she has put a restraining order on him and they have been broken up this is the longest that she has gone with a break up with him and feels she has moved on but not completely over that relationship I agree with her that it will take time for her to fully be over him to where she can fall in love let alone with me. But recently we have started to spend a lot more time together and I have even met her daughter , now with these times we are having with the coronavirus I have been laid off work and spent more time with her we got into an argument this past weekend she told me she wants me to not stay at the house so late anymore that night we both fell asleep on the couch I thought everything was OK because she said she just wants everything to still be the way it is we are friends but more than friends not just friends with benefits . that morning when I woke up On her couch she was very nice to me made me coffee gave it to me in a togo cup And she gave me a long hug and a kiss goodbye asked me if I had all my things that I had brought with me the day before and asked me to call her later. I said I did and that I would for her to have a good day she told me the same. An hour after I left I commented on a Instagram post That she had posted the night before about a song , she did not respond later that evening I texted her as normal a song that I had listened to for her to hear she did not respond. I figured that she was just working because she is working from home in these times. So about an hour later I went to call her to tell her I found something that she was looking for she did not answer she then followed my phone call with a text . “ I am not on my phone. I am working. Self quarantining. “ I replied back with our normal fun nickname “ OK geek…” ,” Call me later…” . She then responded with “ I just need a break right now” , “not getting into it. I’m working.and i don’t want to talk about it ; “ . So I did not respond then later that night I liked two posts that she had posted from the day then left her alone for two days. I did not look at her social media yesterday but I did post A video from yesterday and a picture I posted both to my Instagram and Facebook she looked at both of them but did not say anything to me. Today being the second day of no contact this afternoon at about 5 o’clock I looked at her story on Instagram and commented on one of her videos with a funny GIF she liked the GIF comment but never said anything to me. About an hour later I commented again to her saying “like those dance moves “ with two laughing emoji’s, after a half hour I did not hear anything so I looked at the message and saw she had read it but did not respond. An hour later I saw A video of a comedian that we both love and shared it to her Facebook messenger. That was about two hours ago before I found Apollonia Ponti and read this page . what should i do? Thank you sorry for the long post .

  52. Hi ,I’m bantyngshain i want to a girl first promises everything i asked for breakup she won’t give ok i care for her because she care for me so ok i began to take this relationship seriously so i gave her my time i did everything for her then ong she said to be thait we have to take a break because her mom asked her but she don’t want ok i said it’s up to you if you want to break up I’m ready but she said i dint wamt one day i founda guy posting a picture with her it’s her ex so i asked to breakup with me she said no bae i love you so much thait i asked her who is he she said idk so she said to me let’s be frnds for now babe i said if you want to be friends its better to breakup then she said no she don’t want to breakup with she just wanted to be friends atlast she texted me i want to be friends ok i ask for the reason she said i have many problems ok but if i asked again we are breaking up she keep quiet i asked clear things out she won’t n ok i said ok you won’t tell i wont force you and one day she call me and she said i miss you want does does it means??

  53. My girl said she wanted to take a break . She aid she wasnt feeling me anymore . So I took all my belong from her house left my engagement ring that I gave her . And yes I been the one calling and texting her . But she text haxk for a short time . And then nothing for a few days . Then shell text me after a few day . Then i get happy feet and respond back . And then the other day i get in the mail my belonging and the engagement ring . And she told her family through facebook messenger there no more tio norman . I said some thing to be hurtful and did some mistake . We all make mistake . I love her alot and do want to marry her . But what do i do .

  54. Hi Apollo is
    My Girlfriend and I are going through a lot of problems, and she has asked if we should take a break. I do feel like I’ve caused this, because I have been very insecure and always going on about every little thing. Begging and pleading with her to try and change. She’ll say she will try to, but I can see that she isn’t really changing. I’m just pushing her away more and more. I’m so grateful for coming across this article, and now I’ve just been trying to change and keep my distance. She is still talking to me, and I’ve just been responding with close-ended responses like you said. And just today, she said that she feels like I’m pulling away. How do I respond to this? Do I tell her ‘no, I’m just trying to give you space’, or is that wrong?

  55. Hello there, Me and my girlfriend met each other since November 2019, Everything was perfect until March. She texts me less than usual and barely ask me what am I doing or so. Later that day she just wanted to break up for some reasons(busy studying, doing housework, etc) and she said she didn’t have enough time to spend with me. After a few hours of begging I got her back and she went to normal after a day. Right now April 21st she wanted to break up again. I tried my best to convince her, but she kept saying she wants to focus on her study. I’ve reached her best friend to help me and she asked me what’s wrong, etc. …but after my girlfriend talked with her best friend for hours then her friend ignored many questions that I asked to her. I don’t know what else can I do at this point to get her back…or Should I let her free? Try to forget a person we love is the hardest things to do… I need help!

  56. Hi Pollonia, I have been in a relationship with a Woman for six months. Who has been Divorced for a year at the time. We really had a good thing going. She is a Facilitator by Profession. That is how we met on her Workshop and things just grew from there. We had Discussed future Businesses Plans and briefly spoke about having children. She wanted to have at least one girl. She’s 44 and I am 42 year’s of age. Till one day I never heard from her for 4 days and when I did she told me she had a break down. That it all just came at once. And she asked me if we can have a break. I was a bit taken back, but out of respect I said I totally understand. 2 days later she sent me a message on WhatsApp saying… I’ve taken these 2 Days to reflect and what I need to express was. I got to close to you to soon after my Divorce, a month after my Divorce you and I got to gether. I felt so trapped In My Marriage, I felt like a caged animal. So I’ve decided to go overseas, I need to experience myself first before I will truly have anything to give. But you are without a daupt the most sexiest male Speserman on the planet. I just don’t feel ready for the expectations of being so close to someone. Apollonia Please advise What does one do from here?

    1. Hi Shane,
      So sorry to hear this, relationships can be hard and that’s why we are here to help.
      If she is asking for space then that’s exactly what she needs.
      Go to our youtube videos and podcasts, hopefully you can find more answers and if you would like to book a session with us and come up with a plan for you, don’t hesitate to contact us and book a session.

  57. Hey, me and my girlfriend had a fall out because I went behind her back texting a guy that I have found a text on her phone when we first started they flitted but she said that was before she met me which was true, but I could not get over the fact of that and then the guys friend called her to tell her that I done that behind her back and she told me I am toxic and she wants space… But I let my friend text her acting like his the guy and she told him that she is comfortable with me but I’m her heart does not feel it for me and then she told me that she really loves me and that it’s not our time now… What does that mean? And then she said she needs her space I said okay but then I could not sleep and I sent her a voice message saying I am sorry and I will give her space that was my last message and she responded with thank you! And I sent a heart emoji that she just left me on blue tick what do I do? We’ve been exclusive for 7 months but officially dating for 2 and I never saw her for about 2months during this corns virus so can it be that aswell that’s triggering our relationship?

  58. So me and my girl just went on a three month break this week but we have a friends wedding this Saturday should I go or should I stay away and not go to the wedding?

    1. Hi Brian,
      Thank you for your message.
      Would you be ok if that friend missed your wedding because he was on a break with his girlfriend and wasn’t sure he wanted to see her?.
      Please take a moment to read this and according to what you are looking for, you’ll find the answer https://www.apolloniaponti.com/abundance-mentality/
      Best,
      Apollonia’s team

  59. Good morning ma’am I have a girlfriend that just told me she needs a break for now that she isn’t loving me the way I love her so that she’s feeling guilty I asked when are you coming back from the Break she says she doesn’t know but I truly Love this please guide me on the steps to take during period

  60. I have been in a 9 year relationship with this girl. I thought that everything was great, happy and in the right track. Today she asked for a break, a break up. Reading the blog, that really sounds like my situation and I really can relate to it. She said that she wants space and needs to work on loving herself. Even though it is all my fault, I now see what losing her means, and I do not want that. I will try my best to follow your advice. I just hope I do not regret this for the rest of my life.

    1. Hi Jaime,
      Thank you for your comment and for reading our blog.
      Giving someone space so they can learn how to love themselves doesn’t sound like something you will regret :).
      Please continue to read our blog and watch our youtube channel, we have a lot of valuable content there. If at any given time you feel like you need coaching for your particular situation, please don’t hesitate to contact us https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/.
      Best of luck,
      Apollonia’s team

  61. So I’ve been dating this girl for around 10 months and I’m so in love with her now she says she needs a break and we should use this time to find our selves.. She said I was to possessive and she feels smothered. I told her I would change and not do those things. I admit I have been bad. And our last text ended up with her mad. Should I text her to let her k ow I’m gunna give her her space and I hope she finds what she’s looking for and that I’m gunna work on me as well?

    1. Hi there! Thank you for reading, “My Girlfriend Wants To Take A Break: What Do I Do?” and sharing a bit of your story! Right now, she is busy with coaching sessions. In order to get advice pertaining to your situation, I would encourage you to book a coaching session with her so she can help. Here are the links with more information. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/

      Apollonia carefully crafted her products that address a multitude of subjects which you may find helpful as well: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/products/

      If finances are an issue, Apollonia provides free content and I know you can find information that will help. 🙂 https://www.apolloniaponti.com/blog/ and https://www.youtube.com/c/ApolloniaPonti
      Take care and best of luck!

  62. Thank you so much, I did all what your said and it really working she is in need of my attention and and she have been wondering my change.

    1. Hi Eru,
      Thank you so much! I’m happy that you read this blog and it’s helping. Thanks for stopping by and reading ” my girlfriend wants to take a break”
      Best,
      Apollonia and team

  63. This a great blog. When a girl says a break for maybe a few weeks. What does that mean? Is it really a few weeks or is it longer?

    1. Hi Wesley! Thank you so much for reading “My Girlfriend Wants To Take A Break: What Do I Do?” and supporting us! If you’re interested in some individual guidance, please book a private session through the link below as Apollonia would need to make time in her schedule to gather more details from your; https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ 
      The link will provide information on the different styles and rates for coaching sessions with a step by step breakdown of what to expect.
      Apollonia also provides free content and I know you can find information that will help. 🙂 https://www.apolloniaponti.com/blog/ and https://www.youtube.com/c/ApolloniaPonti
      Take care and best of luck!

      Kindly,
      Katy – Apollonia’s Assistant

  64. So I’ve been dating this girl for about 6 months now. We usually see each other at least for a little bit everyday. We have been fighting the past 5 days. So she does not like it if I’m around other girls or if I text other girls and that’s fine I don’t have to do that. But the fight started on Friday when she went to a guys house with her roommate and 3 others guys that she didn’t know. I was not the most happy about the situation. 3 days later I found out from a friend that she has been texting one of the guys she met that night. She told me that he knows that she has a boyfriend. But from Friday afternoon to now she has decided she wants a break because she is mentally exhausted and wants to miss me. What should I do?

    1. Hello Johnny! Thank you for reading “My Girlfriend Wants To Take A Break: What Do I Do?” That definitely sounds frustrating and stressful. If you have the time, check out Apollonia’s youtube channel or consider some individualized guidance with one of our coaches. Here’s the link to book a private session as Apollonia would need more details and to make time in her schedule; https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      The link will provide information on the different styles and rates for coaching sessions with a step by step breakdown of what to expect.

      Best of luck and take care!
      -Katy – Apollonia’s Assistant

  65. I live with my girlfriend for 10 years now and she says we are best friends but she is changing. She asked recently to take a break but we live together and we work from home so theres nowhere to go . I have said I will leave her be but now she has been talking to me more than before. She tells me where shes at and when she’ll be home just like before. Little things have changed, shes ordering righties and sexy underwear and never wore them before. She also guards her phone and takes it everywhere. She really does go many places except the gym but I’ve been there and nothing out of the ordinary there. I suspect she is talking to another guy but have no prof . I want to know should I follow her and find out or just let things be

  66. So me and my girlfriend just made 10 months together and on 10/06/2020.
    We met last year on the 26th of December 2019 then met in person on New year’s Eve spent 3 days together. On January 6 we got together. 20 days later I moved in with her. We excited and thrilled doing this move in really fast was the first time for both of us. Now we are both women that are lesbians 2 days ago she was talking to her ex being flirty she sounds happy with talking to her. With the same ex she cheated on me with 2 times this is her third time. In my head I believe she didn’t love me no more. But she never wants to breaks up or leave me but she can’t leave her ex either so she asked if we can take a break but still be together how do I handle this Apollonia Ponti??

  67. Dear Ms. Apollonia,

    Hi, my name is Eu Jin from Malaysia, you can call me Eugene for easier pronunciation.

    As a brief, during this pandemic period, my girlfriend of 11 years has enrolled herself to an online self-motivating class and has been busy for months, and I felt like she has placed her focus on her classes instead of our relationship. Even when we hang out together, she is constantly on her phone & needs to attend virtual meetings. Because of this, I actually initiated a cooling off period for a year so that we can understand our priorities moving forward and whether we are suited to be together.

    However, after my initiation, I instantly regretted it for asking to have a cool off period and why didn’t I take the time to talk things out with her. It has been two weeks since the cooling off period, and I have texted to ask for her forgiveness. But she replied saying that she is finding it too difficult for the both of us to continue the journey together in the future. And she said that she was upset because I previously rejected her marriage proposal because I felt like the proposal was made out of fear instead of true love.

    Right now, I am very heartbroken because I know that I will lose my girlfriend and she is reluctant to communicate (text) with me. I am directionless and wonder what sort of methods / things I should do to mend our relationship.

    Hope that my email reaches to you and thank you in advance for reading my email.

    Sincerely,
    Eu Jin (Eugene)
    Malaysia.

  68. Hallo, Ms. Apollonia Ponti.
    I bumped into this article and I must say it’s quite helpful. The problem is, I have a child with my girlfriend who wants a break. How do I not contact/text her considering I have child with her. How do I work on myself /individuality?

    1. George,
      You can still contact her when it has something to do with the child only. It’s about taking the time to focus in the meantime so you can see change and then she can as well. I would encourage you to book a session and we can discuss why she wants a break and how to handle it. 🙂
      Best,
      Apollonia

  69. I always see that we are oddly appropriate. We came together by coincidences and fate was guiding me by that girl, but she always tells me that we are friends and many things have happened but we have not entered into a relationship yet. I love her in a crazy way and she told me that she is She feels that she loves me this time, but she did not want to tell me so that she would not despair if it was just a false feeling, and we persisted in this matter until it became boring for us. We are bored of talking a lot without anything new, note we have not met for 8 months This is a sufficient reason to destroy the relationship. I know that. I wanted some space, but she was the one who told me this sentence first. It’s been 5 days without communication, I don’t know what to do now for things to be as good as they were and better, thanks

  70. my gf said she wanted a break to focus on herself and other stuff she barely replies me and I seeing stuff that she would post and it would make me feel a type of way I asked her questions but i don’t know what to believe at his point cause she said she does not feel the same anymore and I don’t know what to think or do

  71. Hey, so I’ve dated this girl for just over two years and we broke up 2 months ago, she said “I think its best for both of us if we take a break right now”, now than can go two ways; 1. she is being polite and ending things for good and not actually saying we should break up to not hurt my feelings, or 2. where she maybe just needs space and time to think about her future and stuff. After a month goes by I contacted her and she contacted back and we had a short nice brief conversation and I could tell she was missing me, I told her i was gonna go to the gym and “maybe talk later?” and she said “okay and sure”. I gave her 5 days after that convo to see if she would text first and she hasn’t. so then I said “hey” and she hasn’t looked at it nor replied to it and its been almost a month since I sent that text message. Does this mean she needs more time or she moved on from me? If you can get back to this reply that would be really helpful!

  72. I got this message from my girl yesterday:

    From the bottom of my heart Emmy, I’m deeply sorry for everything I said to you yesterday, it breaks my heart that the beautiful journey we both started just few weeks ago has to end this way 😭
    But I need you to understand that this is our future we are talking about here and if one of us for some reason believes it’s not going to work, then it’s better we let go now that we can Emmy.
    Believe me, this is hard for me too Koko, but it’s the best for both of us.
    Find a place in your heart to forgive me plssss🙏, I never meant to hurt you at all 😭, it’s never my intention believe me, the truth is that I have done something terrible, I have played with the most important thing in my life, I feel disgusted and my relationship with the Almighty is in a bad shape right now due to my act, I don’t expect you to understand, but it’s important you know that I can only make the right decisions when my heart is at peace and right now, it’s not.
    You are a good man and strong too and I know you can handle this if you wish to, pls don’t be angry with me for too long, it’s still me Angie your Queen, she still cares a lot about you but something bigger than her is weighing her down right now and she must fix that first. Pls try and move on with your life.
    I will forever be grateful to you for the love that you have showered me since we met, for the constant smile you have put on my face and for being a great friend, I hope we meet someday, so I can do this properly.
    Thank you My Koko
    Thank you Emmy
    Thank you my International local man 🥰
    Thank you my Boo😭

    You are a great and an amazing person and I beg you to pls remain who you are
    Never stop loving
    Never stop caring
    I pray that God will connect you with the right woman for you my dear, you truly deserve better, trust me.
    I’m sorry I had to go this way 😭
    But I wish you nothing but the best Emmy.
    Good morning
    And
    Good bye 😭😭😭

    Angie

    I am confuse and I feel should share this with you. What should I do?

  73. My girlfriend and I are both Christian, she has been longer than I have. I came to Christ through her. We have both been falling in sexual sin and both have zero self control. She has repeatedly told be she feels dirty and disgusting for what we have done and also disconnected from Christ.
    We have tried and tried to do things better, set boundaries but nothing is working.

    She has now asked to go on a break with zero communication. I slipped and went to see her (ops!)
    Then I emailed her a letter explaining the actions I’m going to take to better myself for me and our relationship. She didn’t like again that I crossed the boundaries and now she thinks I can’t follow any boundaries.

    I’m struggling emotionally with out her because I don’t have any friends atm due to past relationships.
    I feel she is my world.

    After I sent the letter via email then next morning I got a txt msg saying please stop contacting me, it’s making me push away from you. Give me three days and we can then chat about your letter and what we can do.

    I know it’s only three day and I need to grow a pair.
    But what I’m thinking is,
    If she cared about this relationship then why need a break and not work it out?
    In marriage (we have spoken about we want to marry each other yesterday) you don’t take breaks and you there 24/7.

    What are your thoughts on this?
    Thank you!

  74. Hi Apollonia,

    I appreciate your complete honesty, clarity, and compassion. I believe I am at the beginning of a break up. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months now. Our relationship has been difficult for the most part. Her background and my background really were two total opposites. She is coming right into our relationship from another relationship, from another state (travel work) taking on a new permanent job, without any form of time for herself. I was single for my whole life, hometown local guy. I was working on being a successful independent masculine man to attract the female for me, only having had a few short relationships. I thought I had the confidence and knowledge to enter this relationship.

    We met at work, being that we worked in the same department lab for the first 2 months of our relationship. We lived together for a month while she was shopping for a new lease, then we’d do sleep overs when she got her own place. We also had dinner everyday at work. We had the same schedule. We spent a great deal of time together, more than I have ever expected to spend time with someone I just started dating.

    We argued and fought a lot but would apologize and move on. She has communicated with her ex from time to time throughout our 5 month relationship, and that brings me here.

    Throughout our relationship, she has communicated with past lovers after I have said that it bothers me and feels disrespectful. I may have been in the wrong, but I was being honest. Just a few days ago, we had a really big fight that made us both heart broken about it again. We both apologized and forgave, but I knew we crossed the line. She suggested that we needed a break but she wants to keep the line of communication open. She wants to take a break but still wants us to stay as a couple. We still had dinner last night together. I feel like we both want the relationship to work so we are both afraid to cut the line of communication.

    Please let me know what I should do. I want to give her her space and let he become independent, while I regain my own life again. I am curious to see if she is the true one for me.

  75. Dear Miss, I like this girl and we have been speaking for like 2months now. I told her I have a crush on her and I kind of feel like she feels a thing for me but for now we’re just being friends.. I did something recently that put her off and she said she doesn’t want to speak to me for weeks..how can I get through this? I really really like her and we haven’t even met yet.. I have never felt like this about a girl in my life and I fear I might lose her before I even get to where I want to be with her

  76. I have a girlfriend who is asking for her space, she tells me that she wants us to both figure out what we want. When she came to stay with me we talked about everything and she seemed okay when she left , she lives in another City. Where I caught her cheating with this guy who is in the same circle of friends, and them meeting is imminent. So she told me yesterday that she’s been invited to a braai by her friends and that I should know the guy will be there , whom I caught her cheating with. And she asked that would I be cool if she went over there by her friends where they’ll be hosting a braai. And I told her that she can go , because I didn’t want to seem controlling at the end of the day those are her friends. She reassured me that she has learnt her lesson and she would never breach that boundary again. Then this morning she texts me that we need to talk , and she said she needed a break and we’re not breaking so how ever way I tool it , she is giving me a heads up on the break. After reading this it looks like the more answers I am seeking from her and being reluctant to wanting to go on that break because I am thinking about losing her, will rather take a strain on her and repel her away from me. What should I do because I do love her ?

  77. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for just over a year now, she says she needs time to find herself and love herself, and find out who she truly is. She has decided she wants to take a break with our relationship for a little bit, I read your article and i’m going to try to wait it out and do things for myself, she wants to keep in touch that’s the thing. I don’t know how I can fix this by not talking to her for a bit and doing things for myself if she wants to text/call me sometimes. Also, just when she decided that she wants to take the break to love herself, she’s been talking to this other guy, she’s being more talkative and laughing more with him, texting him all the time till late, they are hanging out more and he’s picked her up and drove her to work a few times now. I 100% trust her, it just scares me that she’s going to catch feelings for him if she hasn’t already, i asked her if she has and she said no, but i don’t know about that, she’s been acting so different around me (distant, not texting me as much, doesn’t wanna hangout as much, as she’s doing all of that with the other guy). she says she wants to still be with me she just needs a break though. i honestly don’t know what to do, i don’t want her to catch feelings for this other guy like i said:/. any suggestions?

    1. Hi Owen,
      It seems like she may be moving on and taking the opportunity with you for granted. In these moments I would suggest pulling away as you see she is talking to another guy. You trying to convenience her to be with you may not work in your favor. I would ask for you to book a coaching session with one of our coaches so we can see exactly why your girlfriend wanted to take a break and see if we can help you get her back.
      Best,
      Apollonia

  78. I’ve been dating this girl for 3 years. I took her for granted and didn’t treat her right. She asked me for time to think about how she feels about me. She gave me so many chances in the past that I’m afraid I’m not going to get another one. I love her, and in this 2 weeks of not seeing her or talk to her I realized everything I did wrong. I’m working on my self individually and with professional help. What can I do to not lose her?

    1. Hey Andres,
      Thank you for being so honest and transparent with our team.
      We are so thrilled that you got so much great insight from reading our blog My Girlfriend Wants To Take A Break: What Do I Do?
      We have a team of coaches that can help you pin point exactly what to do in these types of situations. Just head tohttps://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ and reserve a time that works best for you. We look forward to helping you. Best, Team Apollonia

  79. My girlfriend told me she needed a break. She is under immense pressure at the mo, after a brief flirt with some childish emotional responses we agreed on the break, we hugged hard, I told her I love her and she said its OK to stay in contact via text etc, should I text or not?

    1. Hey Mark,

      Thank you for taking the time to seek out advice from us and for reading My Girlfriend Wants to Take A Break: What Do I Do?
      Immense pressure can be tough, that’s why my team and I are here to give you the exact advice that you need on how to deal with these types of situations with your significant other. I can certainly help you with this particular situation. Just head to https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ to reserve a time that works best with your schedule. We look forward to working with you. Best, Team Apollonia

  80. Hi apollonia , im Jamie and everything you said. And I’m going through the same thing now. I need your help cos I’m finding it hard to cope. Pls can we chat .thanks

    1. Hey Jamie,

      Thank you for taking the time to invest in yourself and for reading My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break: What Do I Do?
      My team would certainly love to help you cope through whatever struggles you are currently dealing with.
      We offer one on one coaching via email or Zoom. You can reserve a time today by heading to:https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      Have a wonderful day and my team looks forward to working with you. Best, Team Apollonia

  81. Hi Apollonia,
    My girl and I were having a great time and suddenly she lost her confidence and now she asked for a break but after 3-4 days of break she asked me to be bestfriends for time being and then when later on once she regains her confidence she would definitely come back in relationship with me but what scares me is what if she losses feelings for me or finds someone better than me and etc etc and sometimes I think whether she loves me really or not and I don’t at all want this and I’m really confused what shall I do whether I should keep having conversations with her or just stop talking with her. I asked her multiple times and she did answered me that she really loves me just she lost her confidence and wants a break to become the real her and she said she really want to take this relationship further. I’m really confused and don’t know what to do. Any suggestions!??

  82. Hi! If she says she wants 1-2 weeks break but not see other people could be a lie? I understand the break and didn t comment, things were getting worst and worst. She said she is upset on me all the time and she became impossible to deal with. I was trying to give her space before the break and she told me i am never there for her. When i was inquiering and trying to be there i was “acting like a victim”. I have been through many relationships and never had i find such a conflicting person. Also she belives that not telling her problems is like an act of bravery but sure acts on them in nasty ways. I have to pull information with the pliers and only when she argues.

    1. Hey George,

      Thank you so much for reading My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break: What Do I Do?
      I can certainly understand your frustration and I would love to assist you with the issue you are currently having with your current partner.
      I offer email coaching and 1:1 coaching via Zoom. Just head to: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching to reserve your time slot. I look forward to working with you on this. Best, AP team!

  83. Dear apollonia

    my gf says she want to put our relationship on break because shes dealing with some drama and doesnt want to drag me into the middle of it.she says she still loves me.how should i proceed she doesnt seem to want space as we make small talk from time to time

  84. dear apollonia
    My girlfriend wants put our relationship on a break.She says shes dealing withdrama and doesnt want to get me pulled into it.we still get intimate from time to time.but not quiet sure how to proceed from there.i admit im worried someone else will snatch her up.what should i do?

    1. Hi Justin, Thank you for reading My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break and coming to us with your questions. So we could properly help you and really get to understand the problem at hand, I would highly recommend you to book a one on one coaching session with us. Good Luck with everything! https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/
      -Team Apollonia

  85. Hello Jessica,
    Would you follow the same steps if the break isnt because of you but more that the person has to deal with alot of stuff.
    Would I still just give her Room and wait for her to contact me?

    1. Hello, Due to the number of questions messages we get every day, in order for us to properly answer your question effectively, I would recommend you to book a coaching session with one of our amazing coaches. Here’s where you can go to find that info… https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ Good Luck with everything!

      -Team Apollonia

  86. My gf recently told me she feels stuck with me, as I overwhelm her and I don’t have a life outside of her, she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me, but that we should take a break for about a week. I know the reason is because I’ve been too clingy and I need to find happiness in things other than her, but I’m worried that after this break she won’t want to be with me. I don’t think she wants to break up with me, but I need to get her back.. what should I do?

    1. Hey Sergei,

      Thank you for reading my blog post My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break: What Do I Do?
      I would highly suggest booking a one on one coaching session with me or one of my coaches so we can help you.
      Just head to this link to book a session with one of us. I look forward to working with you and helping you through this difficult time with your girlfriend. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/

  87. Hello apollonia…. I really love this.. It motivational, but i’m in a mess right naw, how can you help me, my girlfriend is in school, we are in different school and she isn’t chatting me like before so i ask why she has not been chatting well, but her answer was she was busy and straight to the point she told me that maybe we should have a break, although i have begged her and didnt chat her again, what should i do naw?

    1. Hey Ayodipupo,

      Thank you so much for reading my blog post My Girlfriend Wants to Take a Break: What Do I Do?
      I am sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time.
      I would highly suggest a one on one coaching session with me or one of my coaches.
      Just head to this link to book your session: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/

      Remember you are always loved!

  88. Hi, i have been together with my GF for a year already. And we used to talk to each other every day, meeting each other whenever we are free, i have been there for her whenever she’s feeling down, cared for her, treating her with so much love but suddenly (recently) she’s starting to act differently towards me.. she show not much interest in texting me, telling me she dont like texting/calling, started to pull out her cards one at a time telling me that she’s nt physically attracted to me, im clingy, whenever i tell her some stories she tries her best to be interested but she doesnt.. whenever i asked her out like to movies, she will tell me she got anxiety of sitting down for a long time but it hasnt been an issue when we started dating because we watched multiple of movies before this… i dont know if she’s pointing out all the negative words towards me because she meant it or she’s just saying it out of anger..now she’s asking for a break to manage her feelings towards me.she started to block me on social media and unsaved my number. btw she’s a frontliner so i dont know if she’s undergoing the burnout phase that cause her to do all that to me and our relationship. Because i have been giving her everything that she needs but why she’s pusing me away like that? What should i do?

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