My Girlfriend Wants To Take A Break: What Do I Do?

“What does it mean when my girlfriend wants to take a break?” I am going to make sure you fully understand what it means when a woman says she needs a break. This is something that is so common and many clients ask me about this and book sessions with me in order to overcome the break and get a better understanding of what’s going on.

Here you are going to get a breakdown of what it all means and I will go over the different situations you may have faced that brought you here, and how to turn things around. Women love to say they need space when things aren’t going well, and sometimes this gives you the opportunity to change your approach so you can finally get what you want from the relationship!

A lot of men go into panic mode when this happens! “Apollonia, what does ‘I need space’ mean? She says she wants to take a break! Is it all over?!” If you’re in panic mode, then this is exactly what you’re doing wrong and I will talk about this in detail throughout this article.

I love hearing from you so I welcome your comments below. Please comment on this blog if you need advice or have any questions!

<<<CLICK HERE>>> For My 35 Rules To Save Your Relationship

Girlfriend wants to take a break. What does this mean?

A lot of times when a woman is asking for a break, she is either asking for a break because perhaps she fell out of love with you, you’ve become too attached and haven’t disciplined yourself enough to have a life outside of your relationship, you made a mistake in the relationship, or maybe she just doesn’t really truly love herself. So you might have heard, “Oh, I need a break because I need to work on myself,” “I need space because I need to work on myself”, or “You need to work on you, I need to work on me, we need a break!”

90 % of the time, you beg and you plead when a woman says that, and you tell her “No, no, no, we can do this together, don’t do this, don’t break up with me, are we breaking up?” And then she tells you, “No, we’re just on a break, we need to take some time away from each other“. Or, maybe she just told you “We’re breaking up!”

Here’s the thing you don’t know and most men don’t. You can have full control! You can get her back, but you have to do exactly opposite of what you’re programmed to do. And what I mean by “programmed to do” is that we react emotionally. So the first instinct is to react, and our reactions are always about trying to convince that person that they’re making a bad decision.

When it comes to relationships, it’s about human behavior and emotional intelligence. When we’re in relationships, we love that person, but we tend to forget that we are our own individual people, and even though it’s a partnership, you only have control of yourself. That’s why self-love, self-dignity, and self-worth, are the most powerful sources you have within you!

When you have these things, you can balance yourself out to have a healthy relationship. Maybe your relationship had some flaws and both of you need to work on yourselves… And believe me, it’s actually a great thing, but your mindset predicts your reality!

I’m going to give you tips on how to overcome the “I need a break” factor. What I want to emphasize, guys is to not try to gain control of her. She is her own individual, just like you are your own individual. You can’t convince someone to be with you unless they decide that they want to be with you.

That’s how they stay, and that’s how they stick. Convincing is only temporary. So in order to get sustainable results, it will take work so I encourage you to follow my tips below.

My girlfriend wants a break: 4 Expert Tips!

You look at this with compassion, and not from an ego standpoint. You might go through anger, you might go through doubt, you might go through worry, you might go through sadness, or you might even go through all of the above. And you’re sad because you feel like you probably lost the love of your life – you feel like crap! You feel like your whole world has crumbled down, and you are thinking, “How could she do this to me? I trusted her.” Yeah, you did trust her. But no one did anything to you. And this brings us to Tip #1!

Tip #1: Start to look at this like it happened FOR you instead of TO you.

I know it sounds horrible, and it sounds really hard to grasp right now if this is what you’re going through, but nobody intentionally does anything to you. Again, you are your own individual.

Every individual has to look out for themselves. So the way that you advance in this relationship and get this woman back is to understand that first. Have compassion for her and work on finding your own happiness by prioritizing personal growth. This is what is going to spark her interest and her curiosity. When you stop playing the victim role and stop this mentality, you bring a lot of control and masculine energy which attracts women.

Tip # 2: If she needs space, do not contact her!

Here’s what I mean. A lot of times you have trust in this person, but individuality is so important. When someone needs space, give them their space, because this is the time to challenge your attachments. If a woman says that she needs space, give her that space.

Do not call her, do not text her, and here is the biggest worry that I hear all of all. “Apollonia, if I don’t call her, or if I don’t text her, she’s going to forget about me, won’t she? She’s gonna fall out of love with me, won’t she? She wants me to fight for her.” Okay, here is the answer to this million dollar question.

If a woman gives up on you because of the fact that you aren’t putting yourself out there and chasing her after she said that she needed a break, or she needed space, then guess what, guys? She’s not the woman for you. A woman of value and dignity for herself who really wants this relationship to work will not go out there to find another man. She will be invested in herself because the future goal is to try to be with you.

Now, I’m not saying that she is not gonna explore and have fun with her friends. Who knows, but the thing here is you need to show her the type of man that you have become and will continue to be, so she can see that she is missing out on something. You want her to see that you own your own individuality which comes from confidence, and that is so critical in relationships.

Tip 3: Understand what your boundaries are:

When you become clear on your boundaries, you will have a better understanding of how to communicate and how to react differently if these boundaries get tested. Healthy relationships form when you have a clear idea of your values and boundaries because you don’t want to upset your partner.

Your partner will know that their partner will not tolerate behavior that crosses any lines, because that’s what boundaries are for. That’s why it’s so important to have these values; to have these boundaries in relationships.

It’s not a game. It’s your own individual idea of what you need in the relationship. So the both of you can see eye-to-eye, you can both have that healthy thriving happiness and life, grow together, make this world a better place, or reach whatever goals you may have together.

What I mean here is you have to give her her space, and get back your sense of control. So do not text her, do not call her, do not try to convince her. And those silent little ego birdies in our head that are saying she is going to lose focus on you, she’s gonna fall out of love with you if you don’t pop up in her life, but this is false. What’s more, if it does end up happening, it’s actually doing you a favor.

Tip 4: Get back in control:

I work with clients who enter my 30-day program, where we conduct transformational coaching, we work on the man himself, and give him that sense of pride back, give him some sense of confidence, and it really connects dots on why this happened in his relationship. He then advances in his life for himself, and for the relationship in the future.

A lot of times, when they go into what we call No Contact for the 30 to 45 days, they go through a lot of emotions. But you have to have your sense of control. She will reach out to you again, because your habits will be changing. She is used to you continuing to reach out to her, calling her, begging her, and making her your first priority.

When she sees a shift in you, it will spark her curiosity.

So you create an imbalance which creates something different and it’s kind of like electroshock! She starts to wonder, it creates a mystery, she starts to get intrigued, she wants to know. You’ll grab her attention because of the fact that you’ve had this bond for this long, but now all of a sudden, you’re changing your techniques, you’re changing your notions, you’re changing the whole way that you would usually approach the situation. It’s completely opposite of what she knew… Suddenly the predictability is gone!

This is the most challenging part though, especially when you’re in love, because it takes time. Not every woman is going to reach out within the first week, second week, third week, or fourth week. Once she notices that you’ve created an imbalance, she is going to pop back in because she wants to know why you’re acting differently. She might just text or call you and say, “Hey, you seem different!”, or she’s going to say, “Hey, how are you?” It creates mystery. Then that’s when you would show her positivity. When you show her, “I’m great! How are you doing?” Or “I’m doing really well,” respond with close-ended responses most of the time.

My girlfriend wants a break but now she’s contacting me! What do I do?

At the end of the day, if you’re really doing the work to heal whatever it is that you needed to heal in that relationship that created the need for space or a break, it’s because you needed to focus on you, your individuality, remember? I told you about this at the beginning of the blog. You need to focus on you. Once you focus on loving yourself, somebody else is going to want to be a part of the fulfilling life you’ve been creating for yourself.

She is going to see a drastic change in this where the control starts to return to you, because she is convinced that you are changing, and she is changing. And at the end of the day, even if she is not changing and she sees that you’re changing, it’s going to motivate her to change if she truly wants to be with you.

So you see how you get the sense of pride and control back in this whole phase. But this is the most important part! You must be able to challenge yourself and not give in. A woman will try everything in the world to get your attention back during this phase. It is up to you to not give in, stay with your sense of control, maintain close-ended responses, and a focus on you and what makes you happy.

If you’re having troubles at this time, know that this is something that I work on with my clients on a regular basis. It is really transformational, and I can guide you through this period from A to Z. I put a link here to private coaching session, and my 35 Rules To Save Your Relationship and remember you are in control!

Your Coach,

Apollonia Ponti

113 Comments

  1. Jitendra kumar

    Me and my girlfriend we have in relationship for four years now she breakups with me now it’s two months had paas, in these two months I have tried everything in my power, in this two month I have made lot’s mistakes with her I called her every negative things that could possibly anyone can say but after that I’m able to explain her my situation now she talk to me sometimes in the text but she told me there is no way she is coming to me but when I text her she reply,
    So please tell me how to get her back is it possible to change her mind, is it possible to make her love again with me

    Reply


  2. Retro

    “Now, I’m not saying that she is not gonna explore and have fun with her friends.”

    It is such a bad sign for someone giving advice on women to not at all give any mention of the possibility that she might be having sex with other men during her “break” other than this small quote here.

    “explore and have fun with her friends”? That’s the only mention you’re going to make of her going to clubs and doing sexual things with other men or that she may already have a man in mind that she feels like seeing. Someone who she may like more than the current boyfriend and will decide once she sees if he is better or worse?

    Shame on you for considering yourself an expert on giving men advice about women without mentioning that those women could be doing terrible things for the man involved during these “breaks”. Some women might really just want actual space, but from my experience, most are looking to have sex and test waters while lying to themselves that they aren’t cheating.

    Terrible advice.

    Reply


    • JaTorian Winfree

      Me and my girlfriend have been together for 2 years and 7 months recently she alerted me that lately she hasn’t been feeling well she hasn’t been motivated she hasn’t been loving herself at all . Two days later I was at her home and she told me she wanted to take a break so she can become a better her . I failed a few steps so far before coming before this article , I’ve been asking her why it hasn’t worked , I thought she loved me , how do I know you want move on . She’s also let me know that I could be working on myself also . We currently text and anytime I bring up a relationship conversation it’s no interaction , she gives me around the bush answers when it comes to asking her questions like will we end up together , will I lose you ; she said “the plan is to isolate myself and better myself that’s it”. I don’t want to lose her she’s indeed my world and part of me agrees that I am what she calls “too attached “ how do I turn this back into my favor and win my woman back ?


  3. I really needed this to help my focus and resolve in order to give her space but I have a question how do I truly don’t call her or talk to her when we have kids involved

    I really needed this to help my focus and resolve in order to give her space but I have a question how do I truly not call her or talk to her when we have kids involved?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      It’s just about the kids when you talk to her. Nothing else. Hope this helps!


    • Sean

      We are both 51,I fell I love with this woman ,yes I know mistake ,know she has declared a 30 day break ,I ve got almost as much luggage as she does .I will respect the 30 days and pray she meets the man she wants me to be ,who knew I would be having relationship issues at this age ,sound like such a child,I have to learn not to love myself,rely on myself and stop reading these ridiculous articles I know mail in s August you be got to earn too !


  4. Michael

    My girlfriend of almost 3 years broke up with me and told me I was too controlling of her and too needy and clingy. On top of that she told me she was tired of the way I had treated her and I was unable to control my anger around her and I lashed out at her on numerous occasions. The day before the breakup (my birthday) I pleaded and begged her to give me another chance however she ignored me and told me to give her space. The next day we met and she broke up with me. After the breakup, I haven’t reached out at all and completely went no contact. After 2 weeks she reached out and told me she had my birthday gift which she never gave me. So we met briefly and she gave me the gift. We hugged and had a casual conversation but nothing about our relationship or about us. When I was about to leave she told me to let her know how I like the gift which were a pair of sneakers. I then left and went back into no contact. Should I reach out to her after a few days and let her know that I like the gift? Or should I continue no contact until she reaches out again? Thanks.

    Reply


    • Ronald Montecinos

      1st off amazing article, thank you.

      However we are co parenting and I see her everyday. And we don’t want our son to feel confused of which why he stays certain days with me and certain days with her and every other weekend.
      How do I give her space in that situation?


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Ronald,
      Thank you so much! Happy you enjoyed the article. The way you give her space in this situation is by making sure you only talk about the child when you are around. Keep things cordial but nothing is about her or you. It’s strictly about the children. Hope this helps and wishing you the best of luck!
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Taiwo

      Please in my own case, I have tried the no contact several times, but my girl used to complain about it often.
      So I stopped it, but now she told me that she is no longer interested to be in relationship with me for now, that she might reconsider me in the future and I said no problem. But she is begging me not to stop talking to her or set any boundaries between us. So I don’t know what to do now.


  5. clement ham

    it has rely made my mind stable, thanks alot. am now in control of myself and i will give her space she deserves. i recommend you 100%

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Happy you read this blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break!
      Apollonia


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Thanks for reading my blog Clement!


  6. Jeremy

    Hi ,
    I broke up with my girlfriend as I asked her for space while I was dealing with court issues and moving and she was overwhelming me. She is very needy self sabotages and is stubborn. Maybe 3 days later I told her I made a huge mistake. Since then she says she understands I’m sorry but needs space to see if she can trust me and thinks it’s all about me. 6 days after I poured my heart out to her apologizing she freaked out on text for my reaching out simply asking if we could schedule a time to talk as texting can be misinterpreted . She thinks it’s unfair of me to ask. Do you think she’s just playing a game ? Since then , it’s been a week so now 2 weeks since I asked for her back and I’ve not said a word. I miss and love her and have expressed this in the message 2 weeks. I have a plane ticket for a trip we were to go on in 1 week with friehds, should I cancel my ticket ?

    Reply


    • Jeremy

      Timeline
      Broke up with her
      3 days later ask for her back
      We speak for 1 week
      6 days silence
      I reach out and she’s angry
      Now another week of total silence I’ve not reached out.
      It’s been 3 weeks of being not together


  7. Neal boatman

    I ve dating my gf for a month and half now.. she asked for break Bec want to be alone. Since her brother pass away two years ago and again when she break up with her ex who treat her bad as dump him to be with me they only together for 4 months what happen is two weeks ago her ex s daughter pass away who love my gf. She left my house to her place to be alone and she hasn’t want FaceTime with me but text each other isn’t that much where I make her feel comfortable. I m not sure what she really want ? With me? Or with her ex? I mean I ask her if she feel for ex she said yes and again I asked if she love him also she said no she said she love me and don’t want break up with me then left home without hug or say love u or anything.. I need some options.. right now she been home since Sunday alone.. should I go over there and comfortable her? Since a month and half I ve alway supports and make her happy .. I need help

    Reply


    • Joseph Akintoye

      Hi, my girlfriend call it a break due to some issues we had concerning a guy who is approaching her buy her a gift, and she beeps me so I call her back but didn’t know that I was the one that is calling her…. I felt as if something is wrong with me so what can I do..


  8. Goga

    Hi,
    I hope you are fine. i want to share my problem with you, the problem is this “My Girlfriend Said She Wants a Break and also she said that when my mood will good then i will call or text you”.
    i also propose to her “i am in love with you” but she not confess my love but other hand she send me own pics, romantic songs and i feel she has feelings for me. But, when i display my romantic mood with words such as my love, my darling, my life then she acts as stranger and said that please don’t use this type of romantic words. Kindly guide me, how i react with her? how to win her heart?
    thank you.

    Reply


  9. Aditya mohan

    Hi my name is Aditya my gf saying she need break but sometimes when she talk her message look likes want to completely stop this relationship I don’t know what to do and on 22 July she will go for vacation please help me

    Reply


    • Aditya mohan

      šoory for the long message My relationship started in really different way my gf is bigger than me 10 year she get separate with her ex she will take divorce she was in Switzerland when she comes to Europe I meet her and we both like each other in begging everything was going good and after 3 months we started to have fight and it gets worse and worse day by day and in between her mom don’t like that much 😔 and sometimes she was telling me she is tired of me and until she told she need break I am afraid she will leave me I don’t want to loose her


    • Nahim

      Me and my girlfriend are on break because I told her about if my older crush was in my class instead of her then I would’ve liked her more I know that was really dumb for me to do but I regret doing that I love her so much I would do anything to have her back But she said let’s have a break and get back with me once I think about what I did and become better But what should I say once I text her back? HELP!!!!!


  10. Zach

    I apologize ahead of time for the length of what I’m about to explain, but I could really use some input. So I worked with a girl for two years, and during those two years she was really crushing on me. Said girl, is different from other girl my age and craves stability and kindness, which is why she was so into me. I ended up moving out of state to get away from everything, because I’ve had a bit of a rough childhood, and during the ten months I was gone I realized just how amazing she was, and so we began talking. We continued talking for a few months, then due to some bad circumstances I had to move back home, in which we started seeing eachother and dating, and dear god have I really fallen for her. Yesterday she suddenly texts me and says she’s been thinking about it, and that she needs time to work on herself right now, and that she can’t be in a relationship this very moment, that she wants to focus on her financials and paying off her debts so she can move out and get her own place and all of that, but that she hopes we can be together again once she figures things out. She told me she kept standing up for me and defending me, and has given me time to get myself together(currently jobless due to broken hand from said shitty circumstances out of state) and that she just really needs to focus on her right now. So, what’s going through my mind is multiple things. I want to better myself and become the man she needs me to be, so that we can eventually tackle life together, like get our own place and move away from home and stuff. But I’m also thinking about how she explained to me a while back that when she gets afraid she distances herself, and I’m worried that’s what she’s doing. She’s the most amazing girl I have ever met, and I’m a bit reluctant relationship wise, before her haven’t dated anyone for a few years because I don’t want to deal with modern issues that come with being a young adult and the date scene; but when it comes to her I want to be able to do anything and everything she ever needs. Please give me some advice, I would genuinely appreciate it.

    Reply


  11. Ruan

    Hi there , my girlfriend told me on tuesday that she needs a break cause she needs to sort out herself and said it would be unfair to me if she has’nt figured herself out and be with me. Told me im the best thing in her life but she needs to sort out herself. I told her I respect her decision. The next day she starts to talk to me and we keep it short and so on. She tells me she loves me. Today she started to talk to me and all of a sudden she ignores me. I did not reply her. Then later she changed her status on facebook and her profile pic. We havent spoken yet. She also told me on tuesday she wants to miss me again like she always has. She also told me she’s not breaking up with me. She just needs some space.
    What would be the best thing to do for me now?

    Thank you

    Reply


    • Brendon Rice

      Hi Apollonia! So recently yesterday, my girl alex told me that she wanted a break and wanted to think about us but i knew that she also took my name and cute heart emoji off her instagram bio and deleted her post of me and her on there too. i have been terrified from the back of my head thinking that she wants to dump me and that whatever i did was my fault and just started balling out tears. does everything on this blog imply to what’s going on or is there something else that’s going on? she’s everything that i asked for and honestly after all the relationships i have been in to where it leads to being lied to or cheated on or emotionally abused, this is something that i have never experienced before and i need some advice and/or help. Thank you


  12. Patrick

    Hi, my girlfriend and I are taking a break (I think lol) and we haven’t spoke for a couple days but it’s her birthday tomorrow. Should I still not say anything?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      I do think you should say something. You don’t want her to get upset with you cause of this. Don’t fuel the fire. 🙂 Thanks for reading my blog about “my girlfriend wants to take a break”
      Best,
      Apollonia


  13. Hunter

    I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 2.5 years now and we were having a good time binge watching our new show then 3 days later just out of the blue she said that her mom told her that I was a nice, kind, and funny kid but she doesn’t deseruve the way I’ve been treating her. But I’ve treated my girlfriend the best I’ve ever treated anyone. So now my girlfriend wants a break and we just got done with the first day idc the break but she’s now talking to 2 guys from her work and I trust her but at the same time it scares me. Before we took our break we meet in person and she said that she loves me so much and then left for the break. I just don’t know how to respond to what she has done. And it doesn’t help that this is my first relationship so I’ve never been through this befor. I love her so much and just wish that it could be back to normal.

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Hunter,
      Thank you for reading my blog. When your girl says she needs a break it’s hard but this happens often in relationship. Sometimes things move so fast that it becomes overwhelming. If you are meant to be with her you will find your way back. Try to take this time and do some fun things for yourself. Things may never go back to normal but you may get some answers.
      Best,
      Apollonia


  14. Tom Bradly

    I recently went into no contact for close to 11 days now. She still effects me daily but I am stronger than breaking down. I am looking at how I could be better suited for her or anyone.
    The thing is she lost 2 family member in death within weeks of eachother. She told me that she feels she is a different person now and that we have been forcing this for some time. We are going in different directions. I was committed to her. She feels that she is tired of making everyone else happy but nothing for herself. I told her I want her to be happy and that I loved her despite it all and thanked her for the courage to speak up. That was the last we spoke.
    I know she is dealing with depression and not knowing where to go in life but she is trying to find her purpose and respect for her boundaries and I am giving her that space and time.
    Problem is she has 3 kids and they take up all her time and a controlling ex-husband. We had a 2 year LDR and just recently had our 3rd anniversary 1 week before the first death. And in this time (8 weeks) we saw eachother once. Than last week she called it off between us. Left me heartbroken but I know we have more in our story.

    Reply


    • Ricky bobby

      Me and my girlfriend had gotten into a minor fight while the two weeks leading up she was very grumpy but only with me no matter how hard I tried to get her to lighten up and I said something fairly mean I will admit but I just snapped
      I felt horrible and apologize immideatly that being said she wanted a break I just told her I understand and respect her decision 6 days go by i get a very sweet text from her and a call 4 hours after she was clearly wasted and she asked if I was thinking about her I didn’t lie and said no I’ve been very busy ( I just started a new job ) now she is pissed off again and idk what to do because I don’t talk to her and she gets upset I talk to her she won’t answer and now she wants to get together for a coffee I don’t know what to do she wanted the break but now she is upset because she think that she fucked it up and that I hate her now she wanted this I just gotta rant the sorrow away lol but seriously nice article


  15. PRATAPA NAYAK

    Hiiii, many of you are talking about no contact rule for 30 days and 45 days. But what if during that time the girls get married to someone with her consent or with her parent’s pressure. how can we keep silent and how that no contact rule will work. I want to give space to my girlfriend but I am scared if during that time she gets married. please suggest me. what to do. Her parents might think if this will remain for long there something might happen where their reputation or they might blame by society. what to do in such a situation.

    Reply


  16. Lex

    Thanks for your blog. I ‘ve been dating a girl I met through Tinder for about 3 months. I got hooked and attracted to her as I got to know her and because she opened up to me about her family issues and her depression. It has been going well when a week ago (on a Tuesday), she told me that she needs a break. The reasons being that it takes a good part of her energy and she wants to focus on fixing her personal and family issue. I told her I was here to support her whenever she needs me. The next day, on Wednesday morning, I send her a SMS to reaffirm that she is in my thoughts and that I am around whenever she needs me. I also send her a flower with the same message. I both cases i did not receive a response. To be honest, I miss her so much but I am also ssooo happy she decided to take some time off to get her life back on track. It has been 7 days now without me texting or calling and everything reminds me of her. I was thinking on sending her another short message at the end of this week to let her know that I am very proud of her for taking a break and that I am here when she will feel like ready to reconnect. I also want to let her know that I care for her. Should I send her that sms even though she has not replied to my previous one? I start to train for a half-marathon, swimming class (she was willing to teach me), painting and learning a new instrusments. We are “friends” on facebook and snapchat. I am determined to help her by giving her that space and also praying for her and her family :).

    Reply


    • Leavit Madalane

      Hi I and my wife have never settled for a year since I married her 21years ago. We have a house in the suburbs but still no responsibilities and no exact touch. Now she has decided to leave me with the kids, 1 in university, 1 doing grade 12 and now in a camp, I am left with the younger one who is only 11 and in grade 5. Some have advised me to go to marriage counselling which I did but she does not seem to like it. What must I do


    • Jim

      Lex, my advice it to my no means contact her! She has asked for space, so she needs you to leave her alone and let her realize you are ok without her and that you are not desperate or overdependent or insecure. These kind of traits in you would really turn her off. Wait till she misses you and contacts you, and then don’t act all emotional and excited and tell her you missed her, instead, just be ok and ask her how she’s been and if she asks you how you are doing, my advice is to practice being ok and then you can honestly tell her “pretty good.” Then you can mention your trip to Yosemite or you scuba class or your first time sailing went well, or you’ve been slammed at work and barely have time to think. Whatever you do, don’t tell you you can’t stop thinking about her and your life has been a wreck without her. That would probably mean goodbye for good. If she never contacts you again, then she does not miss you, and there is nothing you can do to change that. Take it from me, I have made this mistake with several women in the past, and I soon realized I really blew it! I should have let them have the space.
      Jim


    • JIm

      Lex, I forgot to mention the most important thing. You may not agree, but I think it is most important. I think the reason you can be ok is by believing that God/Jesus exists, that God/Jesus is in authoritative control over all things, and that God/Jesus is good, and will work everything out for the best if you trust Him to do so, even if it does not FEEL best at the moment. You have very limited control over your day to day destiny. Things like breakups will happen to you. God orders all things and nothing surprises Him. Maybe if you read the Bible and pray asking for peace you will get it!


  17. Yash

    Hi Apollonia

    Me and my girlfriend were in live in from past 2.3 years like a family and now because of some financial problems we have to shift in paying guests separately.
    Everything was working fine and now she went to her hometown and is saying that she is feeling numb for everything including me. She told me that she needs a break and then everything will be fine. After talking to her again she said she wants to breakup. She used to love me a lot and always asked me to go out with her. I used to go out with her but not always as i used to play a lot of PS4 games.
    She will be returning in 2 weeks with her parents. they all will be living together.
    I don’t know what to do here like how to make things normal and happy.
    Now we are living separately, i miss her a lot.
    I promised her that i will be better when you will return but she says that the time is gone and she is feeling cold for me.
    I am regretting that i could have make her more happy when we were together.Loosing her is not an option for me as she is like my family now.
    She used to say that i taught her how to laugh.

    If she will live with her parents then going out with her will be very difficult and i wont get any chance to save the relation.

    My situation is like i want to do a lot for her but is retrained as she is not here with me now.

    I know her determination power. if she is determined then she will suppress the feelings for me.

    I want some good advice here.

    Thanks

    Reply


  18. Ish

    Hi Apollonia

    I hope you are well. Thank you for publishing this article, I believe this will help me very much in the future along with the support of my friends and family.

    Just wanted to provide an extract on my situation and wanted to know your thoughts on this as you are excellent in providing this in your comments section.

    My girlfriend and I had been building our relationship up for 4-5 months now through an online gaming platform. We got to a stage where our feelings were so strong for each other we decided to meet in person at the end of April for a weekend in which we spent a couple of nights together. This was an amazing experience for both of us and not one I have ever done before. When she arrived back home from travelling, she felt very down, missing me very much and was very keen on a move to London, near where I live. This was fantastic news for me, I wanted her to be happy as she mentioned to me that she had previously been in a relationship for 4 years and it had been 4 months since she split from him when we first spoke.

    However as time went on and we continued to talk on the online platform, the flirting got less frequent, but my feelings for her continued to develop. I had set high expectations in my head every time that we spoke. And every time they were not realised I would feel down. However whenever it got too much, I would communicate with her about it and she would insist nothing had changed and that everything was fine.

    So I carried on as normal and eventually the time came when I went up to her area where she lived to meet her. I stayed up there for 4 days and everything was going great. Then at the end of the 3rd day she received a message from her ex saying that he tried, but could not love her during their 4 year relationship. To which she was extremely upset. I comforted her the entire night and told her that I am always here for her and it is time for her to start a new chapter of her life with me as she cannot change the past. We went to sleep and in the morning I did what I would normally do, kiss her and make her feel good while she was in bed, but she never really felt in the mood and stayed the same throughout the final day. However at the end of the day I asked her if it was worth seeing me and if her feelings grew stronger and she said yes.

    I went home and from then to now the flirting got less and less as well as the video calling and everything that made the relationship fun. Then 1 day before my holiday she blocked me on WhatsApp for no reason and unblocked me the next day. She then posted on Twitter that she has had a broken heart for a year and she cannot deal with it anymore. I was extremely concerned and I decided to call her whilst I was on holiday, to which she said that she wanted a break and would not come down to London at the end of this month as we agreed. She said she needed time for herself to be ready for a relationship and that it would be unfair on me to continue this relationship. She continually stated that I had done absolutely nothing wrong and was the best man she had ever been with.

    Whilst I understand this completely, I feel very upset by it. I felt the timing was wrong and I felt it was unfair given that I treated her extremely well. I do not have much experience in relationships and I felt like I gave everything to try and make it work. I am still currently on holiday so my plan is to try and enjoy it as much as possible, and follow the advice if your article. My only fear is that a lot of my life was spent on the gaming platform during my time with her and that it will be incredibly challenging to stay off it while she is on. Also if it gets to a stage where we can start to talk again. I’m not sure of the degree of the boundaries. She has stated she does not want to flirt but I do not want it to become to “friendly” either. What are your thoughts on my next steps?

    Many Thanks
    Ish

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Ish,
      Thank you for reading my blog, My Girlfriend wants to take a break. It’s difficult when your girlfriend becomes hot and cold and tells you she wants a break. I am glad you found my blog helpful and that you have support of family and friends. If I can be of any assistance, here is my link to arrange a private coaching session. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Anthony

      my ex and I split up due to couple of months bickering and fighting over minor things. our last blow out on the 30th of June was the last straw for her. she wanted to break up and just be friends. now mind you we live together and are still loving together. I told her that I respected her decision and gave her space. yesterday I told her that I’m willing to wait for her cuz I love her dearly and want nothing more then to work this out and get back together. she replied that she needed time to think about it, that I need to focus on working on my self. I responded with ok I’ll you as much time as you need, and that I loved her. she responded that she still loves me but wants me to get better for myself before she decides on what she wants. this is very scary which I feel like I’ve lost her, what’s the chances on her coming back to me if she see’s my self growth and truly sees me improving? I hope she isn’t giving me false hope and I forgot to add she did say I can stay here with her while I work on myself which I find a plus. how long should I wait before bringing it back up about getting back together?


  19. Malek

    In plus with my bad english, she will read nothing im sure.

    Reply


  20. Malek

    I have wrong my comment is still awaiting for moderation, i thought it have not been accepted because it disappeared but i appeared now, okey so i just complained for nothing, now Apollonia think im stupid, very good ! now im sure she will not read anything, pfffff.

    Reply


  21. Malek

    oh no, you didn’t accept my comment, i hoped so much that you will give me some advices Apollonia, im really lost now, i don’t know what to do. Please read my comment i need your help please.

    Reply


  22. Abhay singh

    I have big fight with me girlfriend we completed 9 months …actually she took abort …this is our together decision …but after that she said that is my fault …now she is not talking to I said already I am sorry I will do whatever you want …that was bad period …I was bad that time please forgive me

    Now she is saying I want time to think now what will I do

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Abhay,
      You have to give her the time that she needs to heal from this decision. Be supportive and do not push anything. Just listen as abortion is a serious thing. I don’t know the full story so I would encourage you to book a session so I can help you further.
      Best,
      Apollonia


  23. Malek

    Hello Appolonia, first of all i want to tell you how much i like your name, it’s like the greek god Appolon but in a female version : )

    And also i want to tell you that im from tunisia, i dont know where you are, USA or Canada or UK etc.. but with the magic of internet you help me where i am, and this is cool 😀

    So i have a question, it’s not really a question but my story, and i know you have lots of things to read so i will not write much, i will resume at the maximum.

    My girlfriend told me she want to take a break to rest, because she is tiered from the responsibility she feel about me, the fact that she is with me, and that she must love me and take care of me, she told me that she can’t support (im trying to not cry while im writing, t’s very hard) at the same time her problems and my need for her. You need to continue read to understand everything, because there is something that is strange, the first time when she did that, she called me at the phone and told me that its over and she dont want me to be with me anymore and that she is with a guy now. (im resuming) after talking to her, (we talked for two days) i discovered that it was a lie, there is no guy and she still love me and she did that because she thought that i have leaved her, because we didn’t see each other for a month, but we talked everyday during that month, and the reason why we didn’t see each other for a month it’s because i had many hard situations in that moment that took me all my time to solve them everyday, and i was so tired everyday i finished with no energy at all, and also i lacked money, and she live somewhat far from me in another town, and i havn’t enough to cross that distance and go see her (i dont have a job yet, it’s hard here to build your life and win some money, it’s a shitty country)
    So my girlfriend thought that i dont care about her, and she told that she did that call that night with the it’s over message to me to wake me up on our situation. So i explained to her that it was false, that i didn’t leave her, and i told her everyday how much i love her, and how much i care about her, but it’s like she didnt believe me.
    but after all i thought it was okey after i exposed to her all my feeling about how much i love her and how much im sorry that the problems i had to solve took me so much time and evergy and also that i was so sorry to be always broke. So i thought that now it was ok between us, but no, she told me (some days after) that no it’s not okey and we are just friends, i asked her why ? and she tell me that she need to rest from everything in life, and from me, because she can’t support the responsibility of being my girlfriend, because i need her to be with me and when i she was not here i get angry on her and i complain about it. (that need from me to her started when i was suffering emotionally and i was alone facing very hard situations in my life, i told her that i dont feel her with me in that hard moments, i told her that because she ignored all day, she never called, i was always the one to call her, she didn’t even asked how you doing lots of time she did that so i complained about how much i feel that she’s not with me to give some emotional support)
    Also you need to know, that my girlfriend tryed to kill herself, and our relation started because of that, i loved her to save her, when she did her try of suicide, we was just friends and we knew each other since just some weeks, when she attempted to kill herself, i gone to see her in the clinic and i saw her for the first time, we just talked on internet before, we never saw each other in real life, it was our first date, lol.
    After some weeks she was not going well and she talked about death and all that depression stuff, so i decided to save her by being with her, because i had the feeling that she is lacking a normal life, love, and emotional support and someone to love that she trust and that is here for her, i did that in a friend mindset to save her, i was not in love with her, i just wanted her to hold on on me to continue to live and forget her pain and what lead her to attempting to suicide, but the more i was with her, the more i started to love her, because i felt that she was different, and her pain about life gave me the feeling that she is an intelligent girl, she’s not like all the others, and i started loving her more and more and realise that im with a beautiful girl that is intelligent that have also a sensibility and a strengh in her, so i ended being her boyfriend because i love her not just to save her.
    after one year together she seemed to me to be well, she still talk in a dark way, a depressive way about how much she is tired and that maybe it’s better to leave this word, but it’s very different from the beginning i feel that she is stronger than her pain now, she can resist, because she study, she have happy moments in the day, she post music on her fb, she talk about movies, tv shows, she go out with her friends, she talk to me, we laugh, etc
    I would like to continue writing but i will stop here, my comment is already very long, i hope you will read it appolonia, and thank you very much if you reply to me, so my question is of course what to do in my situation, and what is really happening, what do you think about all this ?
    thank you very much if you reply, your new fan from tunisia.

    Reply


  24. Scarlett

    Scarlett

    Reply


  25. Dallon

    Hello, so I apologize. This is going to be somewhat confusing and long but here we go…

    My girlfriend and I have been together for what will be 3 years on the 24th this month. We are both 21 years old. On the 23rd I had got my wisdom teeth removed and I was not able to do much for a couple of days. Normally, my girlfriend and I spend every single day together or at-least every day that we can and it has been that way for the entire three years. We occasionally have little fights but nothing that we haven’t been able to easily overcome within a day and nothing as serious as what we’re going through now. Anyway, Because she was busy, my girlfriend was not able to come and see me for pretty much the entire time I was recovering from my wisdom teeth removal. This made me upset and my stubbornness overtook and I didn’t speak to her for a day. We have a 952 day snapchat streak which sounds very irrelevant but it’s sentimental to me because that represents the entire time we have been dating and I didn’t want to lose it so I logged into her snapchat to save the streak. When I did I had noticed she had added this guy that she works with the day before I got my teeth out and we didn’t have any problems then! he had asked her on a date before but she declined obviously because shes dating me. I myself am somewhat insecure because I was cheated on in my last relationship. But when I saw that all of my emotions went wild because she knows how I feel about adding and talking to other guys. Before I went to bed that night I made the mistake and texted her and said that we were done. The next morning she only texted back asking “why and can you call me to talk about this” I just told her to leave me alone expecting her to ignore it and work things out (another very stupid mistake) she didn’t text back. I was very upset and said “are you not going to say anything to me?” she asked to call me to talk and I got scared. We eventually ended up talking on the phone and she told me that on Memorial day she went to boondocks with the guy (her co-worker) and his friend/ friends wife. When I found this out I lost it and we had a very emotional and intensive conversation for about an hour before I had to go to work. I said alot of things I shouldn’t have. but I was very upset. skip forward to later that night I had to convince her to meet me in person. when we did she ensured me that it wasn’t a date and she even drove there and paid for herself. it was simply hanging out with friends. I don’t know if I can believe that. I know it wasn’t cheating but the fact that it was behind my back hurts alot. and she knew that I wouldn’t have been okay with it especially because he had asked her on a date before. This is exactly how I was cheated on the first time so can you blame me for losing my mind? on wednesday, I went to her house without her knowing because I wanted to talk. She told me it didn’t feel right and that she needs a break to think about things. I eventually agreed and we have only been saying one or two things to eachother every day to keep our snapchat streak. Other than that she doesn’t want to talk to me. I thought it would have passed by now and we’d be working on how to fix this but it is now Saturday and its still the same. I miss her and Love her so much and I have vowed to fix myself with all of my insecurities and stubbornness if the miracle plays and we can be together again. I just want her back and I’m willing to learn from this. Its unfair to go 3 years everyday to nothing all the sudden. its like she just flipped a switch. I know this entire story has been very confusing and all over the place, my mind is racing a million miles an hour. and Yes, I know I have alot of issues to work on myself. I’m the biggest idiot for letting the love of my life down.

    Reply


  26. Justin

    Good evening,
    My situation is going to sound really ridiculous. I’m going to paint a picture for you and I guess I need to understand what I’m supposed to be doing. This girl I started dating and it was only about a month but I knew her growing up spend every minute of her day with me this entire month. She introduced me to her kid, ask me to teach him how to play football, encouraged me to spend time with him, introduce me to your parents, had me go to the hospital with her and meet her sick grandfather, allow me to introduce my kid to her and them spend time together, and then she told me she needed space. She told me as “She thought she was ready, but realized and she needed to work on herself. Because she needed to love herself before she could give the love I deserve”, which really floored me. I know you’re probably thinking, “It was only a month dude” and I totally get it. But for some reason this was the first time I completely opened up. I lied down all my walls, I was completely invested, and in my mind and in my heart she was the most beautiful woman in the world and all I wanted. I felt I was at for her as well because she would make comments like” I am the end of her story” and to me that held something very close to my heart. But in this journey of her saying she needs her space I’m seeing her on Snapchat, Facebook, Instagram posting all these pictures of her with her friends, drunk and all of them, out at the beach with pictures with other guys but they aren’t romantic pictures just pictures with people she went to school with because I know them but who knows I may be an idiot sitting here thinking maybe there’s a chance I’ll have her back but in all realness she could give a crap less. But in this I broke your rule of don’t contact her and told her that I loved her and I wanted her to know that. Her response was hitting the love comments on iPhone that basically gives a heart saying she loves it and then responded with Love you” then never said anything after that.. that triggered a response for me to tell her that I miss her and I wish that one day she would see how much I really cared about her. But again I never got a response back. So I don’t know what I’m supposed to do and I’m kind of lost and it really hurts me. I know this is stupid because it’s only a month and people would judge that, harden my heart it was the first time that I found real love and I’m almost 39 which is pathetic. No I’m not some ugly guy that can’t get women. This was truly different.so if I can get some advice on what to do and how to go forward I would really appreciate it.I’m also just mad that I told my daughter how I felt about this woman and then she meets her and then the next couple days bails out.

    Reply


  27. Zachary Hamilton

    How do I contact you?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Zachary,
      Thank you for reading this blog. I hope it was helpful. The best place to contact me is at my email;
      Info@apolloniaponti.com
      Best,
      Apollonia


  28. Jeff

    Hey Apollonia,

    I have been in a what I thought was a solid relationship living together and just last week had our 5 years anniversary and have lived together for the past 4.5 years. During our 4th year together, I know that she mentioned multiple times that she wants us to get married and did not ask for anything big. We have actually talked about getting married for almost the whole time we have been together. I have been very receptive to getting married, however I have not moved on that as I have been ashamed that I cannot get her the ring that she deserves. We got along fine, rarely had any arguments and we were always able to handle life challenges together as a team. Over the past month, everything was going well, however she has started brining up having more time together as she feels that we don’t really have time together because of my kids. She started bringing this up shortly after going out with a group of single friends. Up until she started hanging out with these friends, everything was very strong. Last week, she told me that she wants space and will stay with one of her friend she took about a week worth of clothes, but most of her things are still here. After her first night staying with her friend, she said that she does not want to be in any relationship and wants a break. She said that she feels alone and has been miserable with me. She pinpointed one occasion that occurred about 4 months ago where she left the house and I did not chase her, which this was a period where she asked for space and I had my 7 year old with me. She indicated that when I didn’t chase her and she stayed somewhere else, she got turned off by me and cannot forgive that. She indicated after the first night with her friend that her heart feels tired, she felt alone, and we don’t truly have time together. She also said she feels that she has a problem with herself because when she gets upset or turned off with something, she is not able to forgive. Now I’ve been trying to give her as much space as she needs, but it’s been incredibly hard as we were living together and I still haven’t been given a solid reason as to why she is doing this. I did make it known to her that I want to fix things and we can do this together. I sent her a text message two days after she left our place to tell her that I miss her. She responded that she is sorry and one day I will understand. She has occasionally messaged me, but not often, and it’s more to ask questions about how to separate certain bills to go in her name and my name. When I ask her how she is doing or any questions, it’s quick one liner messages back, which was never the norm. We typically would text other multiples times during the day. I am confused as to if I should be giving her more space or chasing her as she mentioned that she was hoping previously I would’ve chased her, however now, she wants space. Do you know why she would be behaving this way? Should I be giving her space and not trying to making much contact with her or should I try to make contact with her and chase her as that was one of the issues she said she had with me and it turned it her. I am lost as we had been going so strong for years until this past week. I want to be able to re-engage her, but I am starting to feel that she may have fallen out of love, though things seemed to have been okay until just the past week, other than our time together was not undivided because my children will call me on our dates and she felt that she never had time with just me and her. I love her with all my heart and I confused and don’t know what course to take with this.

    Reply


  29. Lucas

    Hello Apollonia,
    I have been divorced for 7 months now after 16 yrs in the relationship, so dating and new relationships are new to me.

    I have been dating this amazingly strong, independent, single mother of 2 and a working/carrer women for 2 months now. She has been though rough relationships in past and suffers from high anxiety and other issues (trust, emotional barriers, ect.) because of them. She took roughly 4 years (consoling, therapy, medication) to work on herself before before dating again. She is normally reserved and guarded but things were going well enough between us that she’s quickly introduced me to her family (mother, brother, sisters) and I have spent a lot of time with her and her kids (I have 2 kids as well).

    She works a lot and has busy schedules with her kids and her time is limited, so I know when we are together it’s because she wants to be and is/was making an effort. And I try to be understanding about her past and her anxiety and emotional issues. I tell her how much I appreaciate her and I shower her with attention and compliments, always telling her how special and beautiful she is and how happy she makes me, and I have ment all of it.

    I have become too attached and emotionally needy. I am not nearly as busy has her and have plenty of free time. At times I would feel insecure and feel like she didn’t really care or was just using me when she needed or wanted attention. I know that was probably not the case, in actuality, she was just busy, tired, or not in the mood.

    The other night, I had been drinking (I’m not a big drinker) and tried pushing the topic of us and were she thought we were going. She said she was happy with were we are and didn’t want to discuss it and I kept pushing the topic, she tried to end the conversation before regrettable things were said and eventually I said things I didn’t mean and now regert.

    I told her I didn’t think she gives me enough time and attention and that she didn’t make me happy enough. She told me Im setting expectation to high for her to meet. She told me I’m playing mind games with her because of what I say and said.

    Over the last couple of days, I have tried to apologize, say how sorry I am, how much I appreciate her and how I was a little drunk and didn’t mean any if it and that I regert it all. I told her that one night wasn’t me, the last 2 months were me. How I wish that night never happened.
    I asked if I should give her some space or keep begging for forgiveness.

    After 2 days she finally responded and told me:
    “I want some space. We clearly need a break so you can figure out how to better handle your triggers and how not to play mind games with people.”

    I really care about her and I don’t want to lose her, but I’m completely lost on what to do, please help!

    Lucas

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Lucas,
      Thank you for reading my blog, my girlfriend wants a break. I’m happy to hear that you are opening your heart to love after 16 years of marriage. It sound like the woman you are dating is pretty amazing but is dealing with her own issues. You refer to yourself as someone who might be too needy. I have an audio video on overcoming neediness that I am recommending. I know this audio video will be very helpful, so here is the link; https://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar.

      Give her some space and see if she is able to figure things out. in the meantime do some self development and don’t pressure her in making a decision she is not ready for.
      Best,
      Apollonia


  30. Dan

    Hey Apollonia,

    I have been in a very solid relationship for 3.5 years now. We have never really gotten into many arguments in the entire time (aside from occasional healthy squabbles) and up until about a month ago everything has been going amazingly strong. She started talking to some online friends a lot, and not wanting to leave the house. About a week ago she told me she wanted a break, and that we may look into couples therapy. Then 2 days later she contacted me and told me she may not want to get back together. She still says she loves me, and wants me in her life, but it just hurts because I haven’t been given a solid reason as to why this has been happening. She has been pushing everyone away from her including her family and real life friends, and I really can’t think of a reason this could be happening aside from a bout of depression. She set up an appointment with her personal counselor, and let me know that she did go ahead and set up an appointment with a couples therapist for us, but she sounded hesitant. Now I’ve been trying to give her as much space as she needs, but it’s been incredibly hard as we were living together and I still haven’t been given a solid reason as to why this is happening. She has occasionally messaged me, but not often, and has still told me she loves me throughout all of this. Do you know why she would be behaving this way? We had been going so strong for years and were planning on buying a new home in the next 2 months.

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Dan,
      Thank you for reading my blog, My girlfriend wants to take a break. It’s difficult, because you have been with her 3.5 years and all the sudden she is being hot and cold towards you.I recommend you give her space, but go with her to the couples therapist. It appears that the issues she is going through, she is trying to work on them since you have indicated that she is seeking professional help.
      I cannot answer your question as to why she is behaving like this, but hopefully you will find out during the counseling session.
      Best,
      Apollonia


  31. Jacob

    Hi my gf of a year said we need a break weve been arguing alot lately over small things then she says she needs a break its been almost a month but i feel im pushing her away because i keep trying so hard to stop the break because i feel like im losing her what do i do?!!

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Jacob,
      Thank you for reading my blog on, “My girlfriend wants a break”. I recommend you give her the time to think about the relationship and not pressure her into making any decision. Take this time to work on yourself development. I have included a blog for your review and guidance in this process; https://www.apolloniaponti.com/how-to-find-your-life-purpose-8-powerful-questions-to-get-you-started/

      In addition, I have two audio seminars that I highly recommend to help you with your personal development, the first one is called, Master your Confidence and the second one is Overcoming Attachments;
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Connor

      Okay my name is Connor my girlfriend said she wanted to take a week break to think about things but later that night she I feel alseep and was crying txting me saying idk why I’m doing this to yky and everything so I had her over the next day and we talked about everything and we both ended up crying and yelling each other that we love the other but then today we are talking and she promised me on everything she loves me and doesn’t wnana lose me and she was vvv happy before this started what do I dooooo


  32. dale

    Hello,

    My name is Dale, 25 and partner 23, My partner of 1 year had told me on Thursday last week its over and she cant do it anymore because she is being hurt, she knows I am changing and bettering myself, but I feel many things in her life are falling down, failing uni, work isn’t good, not going to the gym anymore and partying most weekends.. she had said she wants to meet up and talk in a week about everything, I haven’t messaged her and most likely wont till Friday if I haven’t received a message..

    but what does this mean? When she told me my instant was that I cant not be together as friends.. then she decided to give it a week to talk.. does she still want me in her life? I feel if she wanted to cut me off she would have, she must have something there for me that she appreciates me deeply to give it another crack?

    I look forward to your reply, I just need to know what she may be thinking and if she may want to give it another go..

    I have reflected and noticed what I need to do with it all.. but I still have my stresses in my mind about the situation and doubt.. but at the end of the day, if she wants to be with me she will give it another go, if she didn’t she wouldn’t want to meet up am I right?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Dale,

      Thank you for reading my blog, my girlfriend wants to take a break. It appears that you are growing and changing in ways to better yourself and she remains in a stagnated life experience. She does not appear ready to want to improve herself and is finding it a challenge to grow with you. In a relationship, it’s important that both are willing to work together to obtain a happy and healthy life together. I cannot answer your question if she is thinking about giving the relationship another chance, because I don’t have enought information about your situation. If interested in tailoted advice, you can arrange a private coaching session. What I can tell you is that you are important and so is your growth. You are in the right direction with yourself growth and focus on that which will make you happy. I have included my link for a private coaching session if you are interested:
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/
      Best,
      Apollonia


  33. Joshua

    After taking a couple of years off from dating, in January 2019. I started to talk to a girl would eventually become my girlfriend. I’m so blessed to be gifted with an beautiful angel and on April 12 we made 2 months being together. This past weekend I attended her award to celebrate her achievements as a publisher. However as of yesterday she want for us to take a break because it was like we both went to fast in our relationship to where it’s like as if we didn’t enough time to really get to know each other. As much as it hurts but I have to respect her decision to put everything on hold until things settle down. And not going to lie early on in our relationship I was dwelling so much on past like I continued to doing bad habits of always looking at her phone as if I didn’t trust her or not taking the time to slow things down if we were going to fast. Now that I think about it, I was being stupid just so I can avoid having to go through the same mistakes after being through so many relationships where I’ve had my heart broken after find out your girl was talking to another guy or sleeping with your best friend. She’s the longest relationship that I’ve been in and it’s the most rewarding being with her because we both experienced bumps and bruises throughout life. Nobody has taken care and loved me so much than her. Meeting each other was the best thing that happened to us. Now that I’ve spent some time to really understand why she wanted to take a break because she’s focused on doing good on her final to graduate from college in a few weeks as the stress has worn her out. After talking to my dad about what happened, he told me that he’s glad that we talked about it instead of burning down the bridge. Perhaps us taking a break would be the best thing for us as a constructive step in our relationship to make stronger once everything settles down. He truly believes that everything would work out and by time it’s her graduation which is 3 weeks away. That we can start talking again, taking the lessons that we’ve learned and to put whatever happened behind us and having a fresh start to continue where we left off in our relationship but do things differently this time as we slowly work things out to make everything better again. I asked her if should still attend her graduating regarding us taking a break, she told it would be nice if still go because it’ll show the appreciation for how much I love her dearly as well as valuing the things we’ve done each other. Hoping that attending her graduation to celebrate her accomplishment that we slowly rekindle that spark we had before. She brought light back into my world before it went black and she showed how good falling in love was, and I don’t want the things we did together to become a distant memory of the past. I know during our break that I should focusing on myself but no matter what I do to occupy myself. She’s constantly on my mind whether it’s wondering how’s she’s doing or reflecting on the memories we had together. I truly believe we still can be together once everything settles down for a bit and learning from my mistakes as well as how we could do better this time. Of course it would take time for us do work things out but I’m not giving up on us. I respect her decision to put us on hold for the time being, allowing us to focus on our priorities. In hopes she’s willing to take the risk of getting back together again for a second chance, I promise to show her how much I’ve changed and adapting to the obstacles of life. Being wiser and more mature as an adultm including having the patience of taking things slowly and one step at a time. To give her a reason everyday, to keep me in her life as we spending to fully know each other, how we can do things differently, and being able to see where this journey takes us and hope for a better story so we can spend our future creating new memories again.

    Reply


    • Christopher Henson

      Hello,

      I have been with my finacee for 9 months and I really have a bad attitude problem and Its tearing us apart and she told me she wanted to take a break..so what do i need to do try to get her back


  34. Jacob

    Hey there, this has been very helpful and really relates to what I need to do for myself to win my relation ship back. Me and my partner have been together 3 and a half years .. it has been very bumpy … I am a insecure man and always turning her off with my jealously.. a week ago I went out, got drunk ..then kissed another girl… I felt so shit I then realised I was the one who was wrong the whole relationship. I then told her what I did. My partner is the only one for me… I love her so much and now she wants a break to figure out if she still wants this… And frankly I don’t blame her. I can tell she still loves me but she is really hurt with the whole thing. I know I want her for the rest of my life but I believe she could eventually tell herself she is happier without me… I then don’t know who else could compare to her.

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Jacob,
      I’m so glad to hear that this blog has been helpful. Yes, it can be difficult when a partner is insecure, but what matters is that you are realizing that you have to make changes in order to grow personally and in this relationship. Take this time to do some self development. I have a audio video that I am recommending to assist you with your self growth. Here is the link:
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar
      Best,
      Apollonia


  35. Matt C

    Hi, I’m looking for some help. This girl that I’ve been dating for two weeks is really sensitive and private, she doesn’t like to open up to people, she’s having a hard time fitting me into her life, because she doesn’t know where to put me, because she is a really busy person and she has bad family issues. She begged me on a FaceTime call last night after we had a talk on Snapchat about me always starting convo, etc, and she said that she wants a break for the next 2 weeks because she is going to be extra busy with school, skating, and then she’s going on vacation. She even said on the FaceTime call that she really likes me. And I believe it because she’s showed it multiple times when we would hang out, and this is her first relationship as well, so she isn’t really sure on what to do and she’s probably nervous. At this point I just don’t want the relationship to end because I think we can both make it work for each other. All I’m worried about is her dumping me after this break like she was planning it, which I doubt will happen and will hopefully not happen. I just need some guidance on what to do, because even though we are on a break now, she still snaps me back whenever I send streaks, like she wants to talk to me, but she never says anything anymore, just random pics back and forth. She is perfect and I don’t want to let her go. Please help, I need it, thanks

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Matt,
      Thank you for your comment and reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. It seems like she has a lot of emotional challenges she’s trying to deal with. It’s not going to work out if you push her or become overbearing. She has to see that you are focusing on you and not waiting around for her which will give her a sense that she can lose you and build the attraction and focus back to the relationship. Good luck and hope this helps!
      Apollonia


  36. Rebecca

    This blog post is very useful for everyone else reading just because the information and knowledge which have contains everyone is very important. I like this post. This has been very very helpful after my current breakup. I assume my state of affairs is probably a little exceptional but nevertheless, I can observe those steps reason its the most effective issue that makes feel. Thanks

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Rebecca,
      Thank you for your comment! I am so happy you found this article useful. It’s feedback like this that keeps me doing what I do.
      Best,
      Apollonia


  37. Dylan

    I’ve been seperated for 5 years. Divorce hasn’t been final because of paperwork concerning the custody of the children. My girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for a year and a half and it’s a serious relationship. She was aware of why my divorce wasnt final the whole time. We had an argument last week about it not being final and now she wants to take a break until things are worked out, but it feels like 1 minute, which was last Tuesday, everything was great. I stayed at her house, had great sex, and fell asleep and cuddled each other. The next day things went haywire with the argument, which wasnt a bad argument, and now she wants to take a break until things are finalized with no contact whatsoever. I dont understand because she is aware it could take a little longer. I guess I dont understand how 1 minute it’s ok and then the next its not. Anyway need some advice on what to do?

    Reply


  38. Gabe

    Hey, my girlfriend and I were talking during practice and she said “I feel like I need to better my grades before we get back together” then she said “Im sorry!” then we hugged.

    Im not sure if she is meaning for a breakup or just a break??

    Reply


  39. B

    Apollonia
    First, God bless you for your timely advice. I’m in a relationship with a woman who is separated from an abusive husband. We met on a recent trip and I have dated her 2-3 times. Recently prior to her departure on another trip I became emotional and needy. I could not help it. I’m just coming off a painful divorce myself. I’ve applied your advice and backed off and I’m working to find myself so if she returns I can put my best foot forward. I found that I don’t know who I’m and thats a source of concern as well.
    thanks

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hello,

      It sounds like you are ready to work on your self development, and if so I have some audio seminars tailored specifically for you. In addition, if you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your needs here is the link:
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/

      Overcome Attachments Neediness and Fears:
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar

      Master Your Confidence Audio Seminar: 
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • alex

      Apollonia
      First, God bless you for your timely advice. I’m in a relationship with a woman last one month she did not talk to me properly. sometimes she starts saying if you have an important thing then call me, she does not want to talk anything about our relationship. she said that she wants to live alone for some days so I said ok you can take your time. after 20 days she called me I pick up her call she said how r u? I said that fine then after 2 minutes she said ok bye she does not talk about anything our relationship that makes me not sure where I’m standing in her life.
      tell me what should I do can I mirror her action or call her to talk clearly about our relationship or waited for her next call?
      I will wait for your response


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Alex,

      Yes, It can be hard when you are in a relationship and she is asking for a break! I recommend that you take this time to work on you! This includes taking the time to do fun things. I have developed an audio video seminar on Mastering your confidence that I highly recommend. In addition, if you are interested in a private coaching session I will also include this link:
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/masteryourconfidence
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/

      Best,
      Apollonia


  40. Lanae

    Me & my fiancé have been together for 9 months. It’ll be one year in June. She’s a heartless person … very cold hearted & im very soft hearted. I love with everything in me & she has a really hard time showing her love. I’ve made it work thus far , then all of a sudden she tells me the other day that she needs a break. 😩

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Lanae,
      It can be confusing when a person you love gives you conflicting messages and leaves you wandering what happened. Now that she is asking for a break, It’s a good time for you to do some self development. Please, include some fun things. I have experience offering guidance to my clients on these issues. if you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your needs, here is my link: https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/. I wish you the best.
      Apollonia


  41. Ben

    Hi Apollonia,

    My girl and I have been together for about 6 months. We didn’t make it official and what not but we hang out like a couple, holding hands etc… She just came back from an exchange program and when she got back she said that “We really need to talk”, as you’d imagine my heart sank when I saw those 4 words.
    Before the talk, I tried to hug her and set the tone right but from her reactions from my contact it was apparent I knew what was going to go down. She kept moving away a bit and everything it was quite sad when I saw that. Anyway during the talk she asked if I was happy in this relationship(I definitely was), because she felt like she wasn’t putting enough effort and that the problem is not me but her and for her to continue with us she has to get over her own issues. She keeps things to herself and I told her I’d be her outlet and I’m always here for her. She also raised that because she has to solve her own issues, she cant get comfortable with me and can’t reciprocate the same feelings I have for her and that she doesn’t want to hurt anyone because of her problems. Quote: “I don’t want to continue this pretending everything’s okay” “I don’t want to hurt you”

    Another thing she brought up is that she’s going to start interning and she didn’t want to interrupt my commitments and she doesn’t know if she can manage during her internship. I said I’ve always put her ahead of my other commitments and she is never in the way. (I always schedule ahead of time to accommodate for her) and that I’m willing to help her get through it.

    Nearing the end of the talk, (Beforehand, I tried to find out whats going on with her and everything but she wouldn’t say because she keeps it to herself) she told me she wants to be alone and think all of this through. So she said that she wants to take a break for a month. We set a date for our next meet up. Which the decision then will be final.

    right now I just want to give her time and space to sort all her own thoughts and issues out. I haven’t contacted her or anything, I saw her post on social media and i gave it a like to show that I’m still around for her.

    I’d like to know what you think of this situation and what would be the appropriate steps. I’m taking this time away from her to spend time with my friends and do my stuff and self-betterment

    Reply


  42. Adrian

    Hey Apollonia!

    I read this article a few weeks back when having trouble with my girlfriend and I just wanted to drop by and say a big thank you for all of the advice. Your words connected the dots needed for me to realize what to do and how to proceed.

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Adrian,
      Thank you for your email. I appreciate your feedback. I’m happy to hear that my words have been of help to you.
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Samuël

      My girlfriend that I have had for the last 2,5 years just announced that she wanted to break up, which we changed into a break. Here is the thing: she is currently depressed and is scared for future commitments. I’m prepared to give her the space she needs (am busy enough myself) but I worry about her mental health when I’m not there to support her, any tips?


  43. sean

    Me and my girlfriend of 6 months are rough right now. In the beginning we both were all over eachother and loved eachother for the first 3 months. I had a problem where I would think there’s a problem and make stuff up in my head that wasn’t there, but she wouldn’t break my hbit and let me off too easily with it. It got to the point where during the 4th month we stopped being romantic and started moving apart because she was getting annoyed of arguing all the time. I had made he mistake of making up problems when there wasn’t one, and that caused problems and made me upset. We took a break for a weekend and came back in swinging, but still weren’t very romantic. I didn’t feel like a priority to her yesterday and didn’t feel that she liked me like I felt about her. And I told her that and she said she’s confised and wanted to think but she thinks that’s what happened because our arguments pushed her feelings away. I still feel very strongly for her and am worried that we’re talking today and may break up. I’m thinking about talking stuff out and if she really wants to work this stuff out, and saying we should take a break hoping we’d comeback and reconnect like we first were now we have a Better understanding of eachother. What should I do and what do u think of it? And if you could respond as quick as possible that’d be nice, but if not I 100% understand

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Sean,
      My recommendation is that you take the time out and work on developing, ” you”. I understand that your feelings for her are are strong, but you deserve a healthy relationship and that means taking the time to work on yourself. If interested in a coaching session tailored to your situation and life experiences, here is my Link.
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/
      Best,
      Apollonia


  44. Phillip

    Hi,
    My gf of 13 months (never a fight … all our friends got intermixed and were sure we’d go the distance) just asked for a break saying she is not sure she can “get there with me” … yes, she is a big “Friends” and “The Bachelor” fan. We had a long talk afterwards where she told me I was the best relationship she has had, yet while she loved me deeply, wasn’t sure she was still in love with me. We had talked or texted every day of our relationship, even though she was out of town very frequently for work (domestic and internationally). The next day I was rear-ended in an auto accident, so there was some contact that day (I posted about it on FB and she called me that night) and the next (I called her with the post-hospital update), but nothing since. The first few days were tough, but each day, while I am still sad, gets easier. I am trying to move forward but feel I have lost my best friend. I know I am still raw (it feels like I lost an appendage), but I am also life-experienced enough to know she is what I want and that we are great for each other. What is the best way to give us a solid fighting chance?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Phillip,
      Thank you for your comment! I know how difficult this situation can be and I am sure there are a lot of thoughts going through your mind. The best advice I can provide is to work on developing you and what makes you happy. If you are interested in a private coaching session tailored to your situation, here is my Link:
      https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2-2/
      Best,
      Apollonia


  45. AA

    Would the article above be valid for long distance relationship?

    Reply


  46. Prudy Fortuna

    hi, my girlfriend had a relationship of almost 4 years and i lived together for about a year now and we got along just fine. since the beggining of the relationship i found out a couple of times that she would flirt with some guys on instagram and get kinda close with them and share personal things but when they tried to make a move or tried to get her to meet with then she would tell them that she has a boyfriend. that happenned a few times and i found out, she every time told me that she only loved me and that she needs to work out on stop doing that, she told me once that she might need professional help but that she doesnt want to lose me. long story short .. it happened again with a guy at her gym.. shes 26 and the guy is 20 and very fit, shes also very fit and beautiful, im in shape but the guy just looks better. i noticed her talking more than usual on whatsapp and one night she left her phone unlocked and checked her phone just to find out what i feared, they kept talking all day and she also called him pretty names and all that… the even met out of the gym but i read the guy telling her that he wants to kiss her and she then replied that she cant do that to me. so after reading that i confronted her, told her that i was moving out, that i never wanted to see her again and all that crap we say when we are mad. then she told me that please dont leave her that im the love of her life, the best that had happened to her.. at that moment i said that i didnt want to talk but 2 hours later i came to the house and sat down with her and told her sorry for talking to her like that but i felt betrayed she then told me that she is really sorry but she feels that i dont deserve to be treated like that and that she thinks that the best thing to do is to take a break and see a couples therapist. i refused at first but then i saw that she was really serious about it so i got out of the house and took all my clothes… every day i talked to her and told her that i missed her very much and i also made the appointment with the therapist and a couple of days later i see that she wont talk to me and i asked her if she wants to be with the other guy she told me that please stop talking about negative things and if i want to keep talking with her i needed to talk about positive things. i see that she spents less time online and that she is focusing on getting a masters degree and do the things that she commented she wanted to do. i also think that she is not talking with the other guy cause the guy works at the gym and he got transfered recently and she as a member could go to any of that gym branches and she keeps going to the ones she is used to. she is not going out and gets home early just the usual hang out with her friends. sorry for the long post. what should i do?

    Reply


  47. Frank

    Hello Apollonia
    I enjoy your videos, especially from a woman’s perspective. Currently, I’m dating a woman that’s been divorced twice. After a month, she partially moved in because I asked her to. Also, we started dating exclusively. Recently, she hinted toward not being in love with me, but she says she cares for me. I recently caught her lying to me and it affected my ability to trust her. She moved back to her place about a month ago saying the initial move was too soon. I agreed with her. She also said if we had dated longer, I wouldn’t have so many questions. Don’t know about that. We still see one another two to three times a week. It’s getting close to a year now. She does most of the calling and texting and she still wants to be exclusive. How can you want exclusivity but not be in love? She had asked me in the past, “why I want a woman with issues?” I’ve only told her once that I love her, but because of the lack of reciprocation, I stay away from telling her that and using terms of endearment. Also, I’ve been informed by her own son how she cheated on his father and other men in the past. I found that to be some what profound. It made me question their relationship because I wonder if he was telling me this to spite her or is he giving me warning or both. I give her plenty of space but the exposure by her son and the exclusivity tag (exclusivity means relationship to me) is confusing things for me. I’ve started to focus more on myself and even have considered dating other women. I’m trying to detach from her to protect my heart and mirror her actions. Sometimes, I believe she’s with me because of what I do for her so far as how I date her. When we see one another, she normally spends the weekend at my home. Do I just go with the flow or is this something I need to remove myself from?

    Reply


    • Bob thomas

      First of all this blog was excellent and so relatable to my life right now. Currently I have been dating my girlfriend for little over a year we have been doing a long distance relationship for the past 7 months as she is off to college. She asked me to take a break and that she would get back to me in a week. But basically she re assured me that she loved me and didn’t want to lose me but the distance is really hard for her. We have had this trouble before but we were able to see eachother and fix the issue. Unfortunately we don’t have the ability to see eachother. When she is away at school I feel she is a different person which I show support and don’t get jealous. The thing is we have never taken a break and she comes home for the summer next month. Confused why she wants a break but doesn’t want to break up and she says she loves me and wants to be with me. Her communication was changing and I noticed something was up. Should I stress it? Also we haven’t been texting or calling but she wants me to Snapchat her should
      I totally shut it off? When I Snapchat her she leaves me on read for most of the day even though she wants me to. Thanks so much!!


  48. Daron Cooper

    This has been very very helpful after my recent breakup. I think my situation might be a little different but still I will follow these steps cause its the only thing that makes sense. Thank you

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Daron,
      Thank you for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I know it’s a difficult time but you can do it.
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Jacob lopez

      This blog is helping me get out of my normal routine and start to explore different hobbies and more importantly love myself again. Thank you apollonia


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Jacob,
      Thanks for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break! I’m happy you enjoyed it. I am so happy to hear this and yes getting out of the normal routine is so important. I know you can do it and wishing you the best of luck!
      Best,
      Apollonia


  49. Cal

    Hey there my girl wanted to take break to build a friendship after feeling we jump in too early . I’m all for giving space if needed and no contact while working individual growth but she’s contacting me . Am I trippin ?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Cal,

      No, not at all. This is how women are. Sometimes she says one thing but the fear of losign you might be kicking in. I would just stay your distance and let her come to you a little more naturally as you want to respect her growth but also build attraction. Thanks for your comment on “my girlfriend wants to take a break”

      Best,
      Apollonia


  50. Carl

    Hi Apollonia,

    My gf asked for a break and I wasn’t contacting her at all but I gave in and I told her after 5 days of no contact that I missed her and that I wasn’t expecting an answer from her, I just wanted to say that. She said that she missed me too, but she needs space and we shouldn’t be contacting each other during the break. I felt really dumb. Did I ruin everything? I want to say yes don’t worry and not contact her at all but I wonder if I already f*cked it up.

    Did I ruin my chances with her?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Carl,
      Thanks for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I know this time can be incredibly difficult but also very challenging on your emotions. That’s why it’s so important to follow some of these things in my blog. What I would strongly suggest is to give her space and not contact her for 30 days. This will help you reflect and your relationship. If you need guidance with this I encourage you to book a session with me as I’m here for you. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/
      Best,
      Apollonia


  51. Jason

    I broke my girlfriends trust by not being completely honest with her. I’ve seen her 4 times in two weeks. Today we talked in person for close to two hours. She pretty much said that we need a break from eachother because with everything built up from our 3 year relationship she cannot truly be happy with me right now. She also said as much as she doesn’t want me to, she thinks I need to see other people so I wipe away my curiosity of other women. I feel like she is doing this for our future togetherness because she does not want me to mess up again, because it would be over forever. For right now she said she wants to be alone, have fun with her friends and family and forget about the negativity towards me. I told her that I do not want to grow by seeing other women because I know who I want to be with and that I am not giving up on us. I said that I do need to grow and gain her trust back and I feel like I can while we have this space apart from eachother to come back as an improved person. I agreed that space is good because we are so young and we feel like we are meant to be together just time will tell us. It will also teach us a lot about a relationship. I also need to prove to her that she can trust me by sticking to my word of what I said I am going to do. I feel confident about us in the future for sure because we have such a strong connection. However what should I do and how do I go about this? How long do I go no contact? and really just how can I gain her trust back to prove that I only want her?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hello Jason,
      The way that you will gain her trust back is by not trying to take control. You have to shift your dynamics with yourself and her and be positive, free, and happy. Show her that you are working towards your own personal development and growth. Start doing something that you have been wanting to try for a while and use this time to explore new things so she can see that you are taking this seriously. Also, do this for you! In time, both of you need to mature and work on you. The way you get this relationship back is by doing exactly this and letting time pass so you can become that better person for yourself than her. I wrote another blog that I think can help you too. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/how-to-be-a-better-man/
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Jason

      Thank you! This is not the first time I made her upset. Just with everything built up she is upset and can’t truly be happy with me right now because she can’t help but think about everything. I know time and space from eachother is going to heal that pain and wipe away the negative emotions towards me. I told her that I’m never giving up and this is the turning point for us to deepen. If this is what I have to do then this is what I have to do. Being patient and growing myself. But how much time is enough time and what is too little time? Her and I really have a special connection and our true is going to be tested right here, but I’m willing to create that attraction to pull her back in and work on myself to keep it together.


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Jason,
      There is no specific time. The time will be when you change the behaviors that broke the relationship and she starts to see this. It can take a while so being attached to the outcome won’t help. Letting go and trusting the process and doing what’s best for you will. 🙂
      Best,
      Apollonia


  52. Michael

    I have this lady that I love so much and I have made my intentions known to her but she claims to have a boyfriend which I later found out that she was not telling the truth.

    She blatantly told me not to trip for her but anytime we talk on the phone or she’s around me, she flirts with me. I don’t understand her. So I took her flirting signs as a green light, thinking that she wanted me to fight for her the more. But this past week, she traveled and told me not to bother about dating her for real. I was confused. So I decided that I wasn’t going to contact her, and I didn’t contact her for almost two weeks. But of recent, she contacted me to just say hello and I just had to respond. If she doesn’t want anything to do with me then why does she contact me. I still don’t know what to do. I love her so much but I am confused.

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hello Michael,
      Thanks for reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. Here is what I would suggest. To back away for a while and not show her attention. I can guarantee that you will see change. She will reach out but you have to be strong. It seems as though she is just using you for attention and you will continue to get your feelings hurt. So place yourself on a pedestal and she might come back to you. Do not let her treat you like this and if so just do not give her attention.
      Hope this helps!
      Best,
      Apollonia


  53. Raj

    Actually I have a girl in my life at my cllg. I like her & she knows that too & i used to chase her but she don’t respond to it sincerely but I doesn’t want to quit on her as we are good friends from last 6 months and she’s a girl i wanted to be with. She’s doing this bcz she’s got stuck in her last love life I guess & now I’m getting no idea to how to deal with this situation

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Raj,
      Thanks for commenting and reading my blog about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I just want to clarify so I understand. Are you saying she is still in love with the man before you? An ex?
      -Apollonia


  54. Ahsan

    I am going through the same situation.
    My girl needed a break/space and i over reacted and beg to her and things get worse.
    Now i am not texting her and calling her. But I know she is busy in her own space and happy too. i am thinking that she doesn’t need me. It’s been 3-4 months. No positive vibe from her side.
    What if she never comes back?
    I will regret because i could have somehow emotionally convinced her and might had got her back in my life.
    How to overcome that feeling of regret?

    Reply


    • Apollonia Ponti

      Hi Ahsan,
      Thanks for reading my article about my girlfriend wants to take a break. I would suggest that you stop going back to the “what if” of the situation. Seems like you are emotionally attached to this woman and the best thing you can do is become happy without her. This is the only way that you can attract her back and also be in control is to be happy with you. To overcome the feeling of regret is by letting go. I would suggest that you get my audio seminar as this can help. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/OvercomeNeedinessSeminar
      Best,
      Apollonia


    • Richard

      I was in a 5 yr one sided relationship with a girl. This february she told me that she likes me and she considered it a relationship but with no commitments. She asked me today that we should not talk for few days , to which she ment that she doesn’t want to be the first one to contact or text ..if I’ll call then she’s ok. Is she depressed lately?? something’s hindering her from texting me?? Or something i dont know!!


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I work with YOU, men, to master your attraction skills and confidence in order to find the right partner or become an irresistible dater, Deepen your current relationship, or get out of the friend-zone!

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7 Common Mistakes Men Make When Attracting A Woman!

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